Can we talk about the "friend zone" and "nice guys" for a moment?

Agent Larkin

New member
Apr 6, 2009
The thing about this "Freindzone" BS is that some people don't seem to get that women are the same as men.

Considering this is the Internet the worst of people comes out to shine due to the appeal of anonymity. This anonymity has lead to the general misogyny that dogs the internet and allowed this "Freindzone" shite to get as big as it had.

Also I'm a bloke.


New member
Oct 30, 2011
Onjenae said:
The friend zone does not exist usually guys that get put in the friendzone are either losers or very unattractive no offense.
Adding 'no offense' at the end of an offensive remark does not make it unoffensive mate. Thought you should know.


New member
Apr 4, 2012
Rawne1980 said:
And that is why I have never "befriended" a lass I was interested in.

If I found her attractive then I let it be known. It's easy and saves confusion.
But how does one say this politely? Is it fashionable the first time you talk with someone, you offhandedly say, "btw, if you're interested, I find you attractive. wanna' come to my place?" . . . . actually that sounds pretty good. Can I use that, or would that earn me a boot to the face?

edit: I hope I'm not reviving too old of a thread. I just didn't want to make a new thread on this.


The Basement has been unleashed!
Feb 1, 2009
So... would this call for a picture?

I always wanted to post one of them. ^.^

Well in my little experiences of love, romance and everything I have friend-zoned people and have the same done to me.
I still keep them as friends... unless it's an Ex-girlfriend. 0_0

If I'm the one friend-zoned I'll probably not stop trying to advance.
Unless she completely says "I don't like you" ... I might feel a little sore after that and go into anti-social mode. :/


Were it so easy
Oct 2, 2008
Th3Ch33s3Cak3 said:
I'm sick of you guys complaining about this 'friendzone'. If you are not a suitable mate, then go and man up.
Why did you bring the topic up then? It has been dead since last May.

So clearly you went out of your way to find a discussion this topic just to complain about it.

Epic Bear Man

New member
Feb 5, 2013
Wow, I didn't even pay attention to the days this was posted, and didn't realize it was necro'd. Dunno why the trolls constantly revive dead threads.

Anyways though, I came in to put in my voice in hopes it might help out some people, since obviously the friendzone is something a lot of guys still fear (and will continue to fear). Guys, you have to realize that girls (much like guys) go through phases, and not all of them will necessarily go through the phases in exact order, or go through all of the phases at all. So what I'm going to be saying is a generalization.

For most girls of the age (since most friendzones come during [junior] high school and the early years of college at best), they're really attracted towards aggression, because on a biological scale, our bodies are still in the B.C. era. Our bodies are still worried about surviving a tiger, even if our brains are worried about buying the next iPhone. Aggressiveness is an attractive trait because it symbolizes a man who will protect the woman during pregnancy, childbirth, and raising said child til it can go and mate itself. Later in life, these women will most likely (but not necessarily) be more attracted to the traits you believe you have, such as kindness, being attentive, helpful, etc. because it shifts from the urge to procreate to the urge to settle down.
Also a lot of girls are attracted towards aggression because it's a sign of rebellion; something that's very big in the minds of a lot of teenagers.

However some girls don't go through this phase of aggressiveness and rebellion, are changed due to past relationships, etc. Some will genuinely be attracted to a guy like you. The most important thing to do is pull yourself together, muster up the courage to ask a girl out, and accept whatever her answer is. If she agrees to go on a date, try to make it a blast. Throw in some humor, pay attention to how the date is going (is she enjoying it? Does it look like she's just acting happy to get through it without depressing you?), and by the end of the date listen to her response. Would she like to go on another date with you? Did the two of you kiss (this isn't a deal breaker if she doesn't, but obviously if she kisses you on the lips, there's a good chance she's really into you)?
And if she declines, learn to get over it (I know it sounds harsh, but it's true), remain her friend, and try to muster up the courage to ask another girl out. You may fail your first few times, but the more you try, the more likely you are to get a girl who will like you and will want to date you. I don't mean ask every girl out, you want to make sure you are genuinely attracted to the girl you're asking out, but you will find there's a lot of potential mates/partners/etc. out there for you.
You may also find out the girl you first liked will like you later in life. Tastes constantly change, whether it's gustatory (that would be taste, as in food), auditory, visual, etc. And this does include attraction. Just another reason to stay friends with her. :)
Note: I'm not saying stay friends with her to possibly get in her pants, I just mean that if you'd stop being friends with her, your chances of ever getting with her would be close to zero. If you stay with her, she'll get to know more about you, and you may be the first guy she thinks about if she ever changes up her taste in men/changes them soon. So just keep that in mind.

Anyways, that's my two cents.
P.S. Please don't ever address yourself as a "nice guy", or any synonyms of nice. Thank you.


New member
Aug 22, 2009
RIGHT! THAT'S IT! I'm taking off, and nuking this subject from orbit.

Why? EVERYONE'S FUCKING SICK OF IT. People who "friendzoned" other people get pissed off at said word (oh come the fuck on, what other word was I meant to use?) people who think they've been friendzoned get pissed off about that, people in successful relationships get pissed off at people who don't seem to get AND NOBODY GETS ANYWHERE BUT PISSED OFF!

Personally, I've had it with it because quite frankly, I'm sick of being called pathetic. I'm sick of people saying I haven't tried, or that there is nothing to lose in trying for a relationship. Here's what happens, I try, I fail, inevitably, everyone laughs at me for failing at something that should come naturally, I have to leave that circle of friends and spend at least a year in misery, anger, and even more self loathing than I have to put myself through to remind myself why I have no hope and must not try. Yes, it's true. I'm an abomination. I'm ugly, I'm not funny, I'm smarter than the average person but that says practically nothing these days, I'm not rich, I'm not charismatic, I'm not smooth, fuck, I'm not even that nice, do I sound like a nice person to you? I'm nothing that anyone would want. I FUCKING REALISE THIS. Do you think I don't? Do you think that the 22 year old virgin isn't fucking aware of the fact that he's a piece of shit?

Every time this comes up. Every fucking time, it reminds me.

Fact is, you're born as someone who can be wanted by someone else, or you're not. Nothing else to it. You want to prove me wrong? Go ahead, go right the fuck ahead. But enough of this "Oh, I've been friendzoned" shit. Enough of this "Oh, someone thinks that being nice'll make me like them" shit. I don't want to fucking hear it anymore.

Rant fucking over, discussion fucking over, and subject? FUCKING. OVER.