Cartoon Court

[SkullCap]

Bailiff: "All rise for the honorable Judge SkullCap." (SkullCap enters the courtroom and sits down.)

SkullCap: "Please be seated." (Escapist's sit down.) "Yesterday around 1 o'clock in the afternoon I hosted a Memorial Service for the beloved cartoons of our childhoods.

Cartoon Memorial Service http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.158917-Cartoon-Memorial-Service?page=1

There was mourning, songs of remembrance, and mutual feelings towards our childhood icons. It was amazing to see that despite our various religious, political, and moral backgrounds we all could agree on one thing: The cartoons we knew and love have been replaced with preposterous garbage by the very same networks we once trusted to provide quality entertainment. I have come to the conclusion that not only do our cartoons deserve justice, they deserve a fair trial. Many of our cartoons were never given a proper ending, but rather abruptly cancelled. No final episode, no end on a high note, or even an explanation for why they were cancelled. That is why we're here today. Also, not only will we condemn the networks for taking away the cartoons that deserved better, but the people shall condemn current cartoons as they see fit."

"This is where my fellow Escapists come in. You are the prosecutors and the jury. You will take the accused networks or cartoons to court and convict them according to the LAW as you see fit."

THREAD:
1. What network/cartoon would you like to take to court?
2. What is the crime and what evidence do you have?
3. What is the jury's final verdict and sentenced punishment?

1. Judge SkullCap, I'd like to accuse the Nickelodeon network.
2. The crime is the unjust removal of the Invader Zim cartoon show from the network. The only evidence of reason for expulsion is the supposed 'Bloody Gir' scene, where they claimed that the slight reflection of the robot sidekick, Gir was assumed to be covered in 'supposed' blood. I believe that a clip of just a few seconds provides no ample evidence for the network to remove the entire series. A series that only had several more episodes before its finale.
3. I find the defendant, Nickelodeon 'GUILTY' for unjust removal of a cartoon series and sentence them to allow the creators to finish the series properly.

Please Note: If you have any personal questions, comments, or insults towards me please send me a private message rather than posting them on the thread. Thank you.

SkullCap: Court is now in session! *Slams the gavel*

 

[Onyx Oblivion]

I actually liked Static Shock. Is that a crime?

 

[Gxas]

I will take Cartoon Network to court.

The crime? Blatant disregard for everything they once stood for. I am sorry, Slamball is not, in any way, a cartoon. The fact that you call your station "Cartoon Network" and then put shows on that aren't cartoons makes you terrible in my eyes. Adult Swim cannot even make up for this atrocity any more.

The jury finds the defendant guilty. The network will be renamed to "Lying Bastards" and a new channel called "Car2n Network" will be broadcast with reruns of all the good old animated shows including Duck Dodgers and Samurai Jack.

I approve of this thread.

 

[Sir_Tor]

1. I'd like to accuse Disney!
They have made Donald duck into a (in lack of better words) pussy and is now not allowed to use exessive voilence! My evidence you ask? Watch some old episodes and some new episodes of Donald duck and say which one you liked the best!!
3. I sentence Disney to kiss my ass! And also make Donald Duck into a funny character again!

 

[Nemu]

Why did animaniacs have to stop? That is all.

I have Wakko and Dot tattoos.

True story.

Don't judge me. >=|

 

[SkullCap]

SkullCap: Counselor! Please stay on the topic at hand. Thank you.

 

[TheSeventhLoneWolf]

I actually liked Static Shock. Is that a crime?

I stand with you on that one. You colourful flashing frogman.

 

[Kollega]

Judge SkullCap, i'd like to accuse Tom and Jerry - and all the (ba-dum-tish) copycats - for prolonging a trend of cats as villains and losers.

***
The evidence is pretty obvious, but the crime may not be. So take a tour throughout the history with me. In the anchient Egypt, cats were respected. Sacred, even. Whereever they came, cats were prized for their ability to deal with rodents. Or their novelty. Or both. Then Middle Ages rolled around. Up to Industrial Revolution, cats were strongly associated with devil and guess what? They were killed in absolutely horrifying ways. Sure - so were people, and other animals. But for some reason, cats never quite dropped their bad reputation.

With the advent of animation, there was a chance to change that. Some people here know that Felix The Cat was one of the first cartoon characters. But nooooo. Certain people had to roll around and throw another canister of napalm on the fire. And effects of that booming success in villifying cats all over again last untill this very day. Tell me, when was the last time you saw a positively-portrayed cat in cartoons? Preferably a normal, domestic cats - not Pink Panther or some shit. All i can remember is Eek The Cat - a silly, but lovable bufoon.

Moreover, canary kicking a crap out of a cat may be aggrivating - but it's at least not too misguiding. But mouse? Come on! Jerry is not even a pet - he is a pest. He steals food from Tom's keepers, and constantly beats valiant but unlucky guardian to half-dead condition. I'm sure it would be more obvious if Jerry was a rat, not a mouse. Have you ever thought that a cat just doing his job may deserve some sympathy?

***
I find everyone who ever did villain cats GUILTY of spreading propagandistic lies, accentuating the negative, and trying to give species with a penchant for independence a bad rep. Seriously guys, could we have some heroic cats now? Like in good old soviet animation?

/rant

 

[SkullCap]

I actually liked Static Shock. Is that a crime?

It is no crime to enjoy a series that tried to revitalize the superhero cartoon genre after Batman Beyond. I, Judge SkullCap, find you, Onyx Oblivion, 'NOT GUILTY' for the wrongfully accused crime of enjoying a show that was one of the few last excellent cartoon shows before the plummet.

 

[Kamehapa]

1. Judge SkullCap, I'd like to accuse the Cartoon network.
2. The crime is the unjust removal of the Megas XLR from their network. The reason for this was not a drop in ratings, nor even for the content material. No, those could be seen as valid reasons should they were true. The reason that Cartoon Network states is that they simply felt that it was "time to move on". Is this any reason to trash one of America's finest giant robot shows? I think not, I hope you all would agree.

 

[Archemetis]

Judge SkullCap, i'd like to accuse Tom and Jerry - and all the (ba-dum-tish) copycats - for prolonging a trend of cats as villains and losers.

***
The evidence is pretty obvious, but the crime may not be. So take a tour throughout the history with me. In the anchient Egypt, cats were respected. Sacred, even. Whereever they came, cats were prized for their ability to deal with rodents. Or their novelty. Or both. Then Middle Ages rolled around. Up to Industrial Revolution, cats were strongly associated with devil and guess what? They were killed in absolutely horrifying ways. Sure - so were people, and other animals. But for some reason, cats never quite dropped their bad reputation.

With the advent of animation, there was a chance to change that. Some people here know that Felix The Cat was one of the first cartoon characters. But nooooo. Certain people had to roll around and throw another canister of napalm on the fire. And effects of that booming success in villifying cats all over again last untill this very day. Tell me, when was the last time you saw a positively-portrayed cat in cartoons? Preferably a normal, domestic cats - not Pink Panther or some shit. All i can remember is Eek The Cat - a silly, but lovable bufoon.

Moreover, canary kicking a crap out of a cat may be aggrivating - but it's at least not too misguiding. But mouse? Come on! Jerry is not even a pet - he is a pest. He steals food from Tom's keepers, and constantly beats valiant but unlucky guardian to half-dead condition. I'm sure it would be more obvious if Jerry was a rat, not a mouse. Have you ever thought that a cat just doing his job may deserve some sympathy?

***
I find everyone who ever did villain cats GUILTY of spreading propagandistic lies, accentuating the negative, and trying to give species with a penchant for independence a bad rep. Seriously guys, could we have some heroic cats now? Like in good old soviet animation?

/rant

Your honor, I'd also like to call on Tom and Jerry.
But for an entirely different reason.

The Crime: Tom and Jerry, the MOVIE.

Evidence against the accused: They made them fucking talk in the movie, and not just with ordinary voices, the most annoying voices in the god-damn world and not only did they talk, they were fucking SINGING too!
Not only that, but they are also accused on one account of "completely deviating from the premise of Tom and Jerry in it's entirity for a plot based around the exploits of an orphaned girl, thus rendering the point of making a movie about Tom and Jerry completely pointless.

(Seriously, They're a cat and mouse that fight and break things, Don't make them friends in a movie and then ignore their only distiguishable character traits... For the sake of a plot no one cares about.)

The verdict: Guilty as charged.

 

[Pendragon9]

Tellin the truth.snip

Here Here, Koll. I agree that cats really need to get a better reputation.

But back on topic...

Erhem, judge Skullcap, I would like to bring instigations against Cartoon Network for several reasons. The first thing i would like to bring against them is their case of promising cartoons, but then bait and switching by showing nothing but reality television. Such is false advertising and I feel they should be punished for such. I would also like to bring up the case with Megas XLR, Samurai Jack, and for goodness sake, TOONAMI, among other programs! All were cancelled without cause and were not allowed any chance of revival. I feel Cartoon Network should be held responsible for trying to mentally castigate all our childhood.

I feel that the primary instigator was the person who created Fried Dynamite and Out of Jimmy's Head, and your honor, if it would be a just sentence, I would like those people to be castrated and forced to watch the drivel they're forcing down our throats nonstop.

Thank you for your time judge.

 

[Onyx Oblivion]

I actually liked Static Shock. Is that a crime?

It is no crime to enjoy a series that tried to revitalize the superhero cartoon genre after Batman Beyond. I, Judge SkullCap, find you, Onyx Oblivion, 'NOT GUILTY' for the wrongfully accused crime of enjoying a show that was one of the few last excellent cartoon shows before the plummet.

*goes off to celebrate by watching Static Shock*

Man, the african-american social themes are jammed in there, but the show is just so good.

 

[Liam1390]

I will take Cartoon Network to court.

The crime? Blatant disregard for everything they once stood for. I am sorry, Slamball is not, in any way, a cartoon. The fact that you call your station "Cartoon Network" and then put shows on that aren't cartoons makes you terrible in my eyes. Adult Swim cannot even make up for this atrocity any more.

The jury finds the defendant guilty. The network will be renamed to "Lying Bastards" and a new channel called "Car2n Network" will be broadcast with reruns of all the good old animated shows including Duck Dodgers and Samurai Jack.

I approve of this thread.

The Boomerang channel has reruns of the old shows.

 

[Gxas]

I will take Cartoon Network to court.

The crime? Blatant disregard for everything they once stood for. I am sorry, Slamball is not, in any way, a cartoon. The fact that you call your station "Cartoon Network" and then put shows on that aren't cartoons makes you terrible in my eyes. Adult Swim cannot even make up for this atrocity any more.

The jury finds the defendant guilty. The network will be renamed to "Lying Bastards" and a new channel called "Car2n Network" will be broadcast with reruns of all the good old animated shows including Duck Dodgers and Samurai Jack.

I approve of this thread.

The Boomerang channel has reruns of the old shows.

Yes, mixed in with Flinstones and Jettsons.

I want a channel just for the shows I grew up on.

 

[Raven's Nest]

I accuse myself of not liking space ghost when it was on tv...

I blame Cartoon Network for not showing it anymore now that I've grown up, saw a clip on YouTube and realised just how fucking funny it was...

Verdict... User unfit to give a plea, insanity plea has been recommended for him.

This court is adjurned.

Ps... [sub]I liked the tom and jerry movie...[/sub]

 

[SkullCap]

1. Judge SkullCap, I'd like to accuse the Cartoon network.
2. The crime is the unjust removal of the Megas XLR from their network. The reason for this was not a drop in ratings, nor even for the content material. No, those could be seen as valid reasons should they were true. The reason that Cartoon Network states is that they simply felt that it was "time to move on". Is this any reason to trash one of America's finest giant robot shows? I think not, I hope you all would agree.

.................Pardon?

"Time to move on"

To what? The The Adventures of Flapjack and Johnny Test? I rule in favor of Kamehapa and sentence the Board Member of Cartoon Network, who issued that statement to have the paper that issued the cancellation of Megas XLR give him a paper cut between each of his fingers and toes; then have all residents living in New Jersey to strip his car to pieces, while force feeding him Philly cheese steaks. Case dismissed.

 

[SkullCap]

Your honor, I'd also like to call on Tom and Jerry.
But for an entirely different reason.

The Crime: Tom and Jerry, the MOVIE.

Evidence against the accused: They made them fucking talk in the movie, and not just with ordinary voices, the most annoying voices in the god-damn world and not only did they talk, they were fucking SINGING too!
Not only that, but they are also accused on one account of "completely deviating from the premise of Tom and Jerry in it's entirity for a plot based around the exploits of an orphaned girl, thus rendering the point of making a movie about Tom and Jerry completely pointless.

(Seriously, They're a cat and mouse that fight and break things, Don't make them friends in a movie and then ignore their only distiguishable character traits... For the sake of a plot no one cares about.)

The verdict: Guilty as charged.

I too grew up watching re-runs of the great cartoon duo Tom & Jerry and yes I saw that abomination many years ago. The moment I heard Tom say, "I'm Tom" and Jerry say, "I'm Jerry" killed a piece of my childhood. The movie was horribly written, too many excessive characters, and it had too many worthless character introductions/songs. Piss poor all around.

I sentence the team of the movie to be wrapped in catnip and tossed into the tiger cage at the nearest Zoo. I also issue a new law stating that no future generations should ever see that pile of garbage called Tom & Jerry: The Movie and only shown the classics that made Tom & Jerry legends of slapstick. Next case.

 

[Ocelot GT]

Why did animaniacs have to stop? That is all.

Because they're totally insaney

 

[FalloutJack]

Yes, your honor. Please bear with me a moment as I make a case against...

{1} Cartoons whose animation and art 'style' is a pile of really horridly-drawn shit, whose acting is equally bad, and whose content seems aimed at...what?...two-year-olds? There's not even funny! (I'm looking at YOU, CN.)

{2} Pale imitators to an already good and decent series, which we will call a case of "Batman" VS "The Batman". That is, Batman: The Animated Series is a dark and well-built classic and The Batman is not even a palpable spinoff of Batman Begins or The Dark Knight.

{3} Tom Goes To The Mayor.

Cartoons use to be funny or adventurous or thrilling back in the day, but I noticed that as we progressed further and further towards the present day, they were degenerating into crap. 80s were a good time for toons and the 90s weren't ALL bad. But now the quality of the cartoon, in all ways, is starting to resemble a bucket of sick. You just don't see that much effort in what cartoonists do anymore, or at all. What're they paying you shlubs for? As punishment, I ask that every one of these lazy cartoonists be given Jon Arbuckle's Disease, to become ineffectual losers who can't do anything right. (You know, like how they were BEFORE.)

I'll use that to segue into my Batman rant. Batman has been darkly awesome for a while now, but we hit a bump when this obscenely broody copy fell into our laps, called "The Batman" like the word 'The' can't be removed without killing the patient. (Trust me, it should die.) Let's see... The villains aren't as good anymore, Bats looks alot less imposing now, and it just overall doesn't look as cool as before. I'd like this phony locked up in Arkham Asylum for pretending to be the real thing. (The GRANT MORRISON Arkham Asylum, for good measure.)

With that, I turn to Tom Goes To The Mayor. Now, this case should be obvious, but allow me to summarize. It is a load of white and blue cardboard cut-outs staged in front of a bunch of backgrounds. There is no real animation AT ALL, so where does the cartoon part come in? It's also not even funny or entertaining in any way, which is one of the reasons that we must make Space Ghost: Coast to Coast and The Brak Show an exception to the rule because THOSE are fucking hilarious (and actually ANIMATED). I would ask for the death penalty for Tom Goes To The Mayor, but apparently nothing in there shows any sign of life. So, under the rule of stationary objects, I would like it to be condemned and then destroyed by a demolition team.