"This Castlevania has been primarily designed to take the series into new directions and is not connected to any of the earlier Castlevania games; so new players can jump right in, without knowing or having played any of the previous adventures."
Translation: We designed this new game for 13 year old action fans, but since it's incredibly tough to promote a new IP in this industry, we decided to tack on the "Castlevania" brand name for good measure. This will help us increase sales and help you help yourself. We chose this option instead of trying to please the whining, obsessive NES Castlevania fans who might aswell eat shit and pretend anyone still gives a fuck about athmospheric 2D plattformers.
Love,
Your Castlevania team.
PS-Expect DLC a week after launch.
PPS-Check out the partial nudity at 4:44. Yes, 13-year olds, your money will be well spent here.
I'll give this a rent and no, I'm not an oldschool Castlevania fan.