Casual sex

[Amberella]

Nope, not a fan of it at all. I couldn't just sleep with someone for the sake of it. I have to have strong feelings for the person and be in a committed romantic relationship, like I am now.

 

[phatdog45]

Im a male first off. I'd have casual sex with a random person I guess, but not a friend. I'd only want to have sex with a friend if they were gonna become more than that.

 

[thefrizzlefry]

Eh, I see nothing wrong with it. Just wear a rubber and don't be stupid about it.

 

[sumanoskae]

No problem with it whatsoever. I think it's often much more honest. Just because I'm sexually attracted to someone doesn't mean I'm emotionally attracted to them. It's rare I get emotionally attached to a girl enough to really consider my feelings romantic, but that doesn't mean there isn't sexual tension, better to just let it out, I think. These things tend to fester, left to their own devices.

Even if I thought it WAS bad idea, how the hell is what people do with their time any of my business?. People make mistakes, it's part of life, and trying to prevent them will just lead to different ones, all we can do is allow people freedom enough to grow wiser.

And would I date a woman who slept around beforehand?, why not, I'd do it to and it's not hurting anyone. Why would I be upset that the person I plan on having sex with is experienced in sex?, like it's left some kind of evil residue on her(Before anyone mentions STD's, I wouldn't sleep with anyone I didn't know well enough to trust not to give me aids, and I'd use protection anyways). The obsession with chastity is from an age when people would regularly sell their 12 year old's to their brothers. There's no real benefit in practicing it, and there's no real harm in not practicing it. Hell, I'd say that being sexually reserved is actually more problematic then being sexually outgoing.

 

[theevilgenius60]

Casual sex, I can do. Friends with benefits is a slippery slope though. You may mean it to be meaningless sex, but occasionally the other person may take it as a commitment to something else entirely. That is a good way to spoil a friendship. If you're going to do it, please be VERY upfront about what it is and what it isn't. Friendship is too precious to lose over such a situation. A similar situation would be coworkers getting it on, but instead of possibly ruining a friendship it possibly ruins a work environment. Just be careful guys.

 

[Madara XIII]

What do you people think of casual sex or being friends with benefits? What do you think of women/men who sleep around a bit? Would you consider going steady with someone like that? Any experiences on the matter?

I myself am female and quite open for sex with friends (supposing that all parties are single etc). Consequently, I've had some sweet sexy times with a few of my friends. I have enjoyed these encounters a great deal. However, I know this is met with some scorn and would like to hear what others think of the subject.

Hey if every consenting party is single, then why not? I personally may not like the idea of friends with benefits, but I don't see anything wrong considering no one's cheating on anyone.

[HEADING=2] What do you think Noob?

...*sigh* Not the best voice of reason[/HEADING]

 

[Eternal_Lament]

If you can pull it off, good for you. If not, nothing wrong with you doing so, its not the wrong thing to do, but its probably not the smart thing to do. To each their own of course, I won't judge someone for that, but I'm not a proponent or sponser of it either.

I myself haven't had sex yet anyways so I cant really comment on my own feelings. The closest I got to though it probably would've been a FWB thing, and seeing how my relationship with that person turned out I'm glad I didn't go down that road. I'm sure sex is nice. I'm sure it probably also feels better or has more meaning when done with someone you love enough to want to do it with, as opposed to doing it with someone because you love that act of it.

 

[Mallefunction]

I'm a woman and I've had...two fuck buddies. All of them were men that I knew and loved as friends and it never ended messily for me because we never complicated it with feelings.

I don't see anything wrong with it so long as you're safe and that both you and your friend with benefits discuss your 'relationship' and all the other stuff to make sure that things don't end messily.

 

[The Pinray]

I used do sleep around a bit, but I've sorta stopped in favor of this one lady that I love. We've been together awhile now and I gotta say I do not miss the sleeping around. Because honestly, at the end of the day I was still alone. Sure, I had some fun encounters, but I wanted something concrete. Now that I've got it I'm not going back.

 

[sumanoskae]

Emotionally, psychologically, we are wired to mate for life. If you take a partner for any length of time, sex with that person becomes associated with the relationship itself. Sleeping around only muddles this and leads to urges conflicting with emotional ties. People often end up feeling cheated even when there was no verbal "you and only you" agreement.

Not to disagree, I'm just confused, but... Aren't we wired NOT to mate for life. the divorce rate is like 40% isn't it?, and that's only people who got married.

And to my knowledge, one of the monkey species most closely related to humans are Bonobos

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bonobo

 

[I_Sinanju _I]

Yeah I kinda forgot the origin so I said "source". Now I want to find the true source.... Onward my steed! Google is just through the next valley!

 

[ace_of_something]

What do you people think of casual sex or being friends with benefits? What do you think of women/men who sleep around a bit? Would you consider going steady with someone like that? Any experiences on the matter?

If I had kids and they were letting whoever was willing do whatever they want to them, I'd be pretty disappointed in them. I hope to teach them more than my parents taught me.

As a teenager and until I was about 26 or so I was pretty bad about being a 'serial monogamist' dating girls for about a month then tossing them aside without thinking about it. I still feel pretty bad. Perhaps it's because the first girl I was intimate with kind of messed me up for a long long time.

Anyway, I just wanted to post this because it has the same title as the thread.

There was never an offical music video so all you get is crappy art student videos

 

[Kinaori]

In principle, no problem. But a good chunk of folks do attach serious emotions to sex (even if they like to say they don't/won't), so from what I've seen, it gets messy eventually.

I've had to comfort a couple friends in the middle of that dilemma, and it's hard not to question the judgment of both parties involved, not on moral grounds, but just that... someone's very likely to get hurt at some point.

 

[Johnny Impact]

I generally have zero respect for people that do that, as I find they frequently have little respect for their own bodies either.

To each, their own, but I have very little interest in spending time with people like that.

Bingo.

There was a girl where I work -- gone now, thankfully -- who was six feet of curvaceous raven-haired beauty. She looked great and she knew it. Painted-on jeans, a little sashay in the hips, all that stuff. Half the guys developed crushes.

Thing is, she was a bar slut in the worst way. No respect for anyone, herself least of all. Her typical evening: "Get out of work, go make eyes at a hot guy, let him get me blitzed and take me to his place, wake up not knowing his name or where I am." I have no idea how many diseases she might have had. She tried to hug me once and I pushed her away for fear of catching something. Not even kidding.

I'm not a psychologist, but I get the impression she was trapped in a cycle of self-loathing and self-abuse, punishing herself for being a bar slut.....by being a bar slut.

Short version, she should have had one of those black and yellow signs over her head: DANGER, TOXIC WASTE.

I know you don't have to be a self-hating wreck of a human being to indulge in casual sex, but she's the image that comes to mind. I know at my age I won't be the first partner a woman has ever had, but when I know half the guys in town got there before me....

I can't see the appeal.

 

[Evilbunny]

I myself am female and quite open for sex with friends (supposing that all parties are single etc). Consequently, I've had some sweet sexy times with a few of my friends. I have enjoyed these encounters a great deal.

Huh, I should like, get to know you.

 

[Inco]

I'm sorry, I had to.

Honestly, When only reason why I came onto this thread was just to see if any would have posted this. Since you have, it saves me the effort of doing so myself. Bravo!

I don't have anything against it, really, it can be fun.

 

[Xavisam]

I also have a question, can you have formal sex?

The way I imagine it would be set in a dimly candle lit king bedroom, with me in a tuxedo playing a smooth jazz song on the piano in the corner.

 

[Yassen]

There's no right or wrong answer for this. Casual sex works for some people and for others it doesn't. There's nothing wrong with either.

In my own personal experience sex means different things depending on who it's with. If I'm actually interested in the person then yes, sex can be personal and emotional. But if I just think they're attractive then it's just about having fun. Can it get complicated? Of course. Will it always? Nope.

So long as you feel you're okay doing it and are being smart about it, go right ahead.

 

[blackrad124]

In America, depending on your age and friend circle, you will be scorned for it. It sucks, but it's true. Hope you're living in Europe

 

[Jason Danger Keyes]

I've had a couple friends with benefits and I cannot recommend it highly enough. It's like if we're hanging out and we're both just going to go home and masturbate, why not just fuck?