Cheating in relationships: your views?

[zhoominator]

I think it's one of the worst things you can do as a person. It shows they're not loyal or trustworthy, have no self control, and don't care about their partners feelings. If I had a girlfriend and I found out she had cheated on me I'd end it straight away.

If it's an open relationship however, and both partners are okay with it, then I suppose anything goes.

Pretty much this. I think I'd be crushed if I had a partner who cheated on me.

In an open relationship though, is anything really qualified as "cheating" (since it implies deception or lies, which wouldn't need to be present in such a relationship)?

 

[xanith02100]

Deal breaker.

If my girlfriend were to cheat on me, she'd be dead to me.

 

[asteroth21nox]

Obsession is a young man's game, and what is cheating other then being obsessed with flesh if your willing to gamble the breaking of your partner's heart.

 

[Vanguard_Ex]

Deal breaker.

If my girlfriend were to cheat on me, she'd be dead to me.

For that I respect you. Dignity, pride and other personal values should never be sacrificed for somebody who can't be trusted with your spirit.

I think it's one of the worst things you can do as a person. It shows they're not loyal or trustworthy, have no self control, and don't care about their partners feelings. If I had a girlfriend and I found out she had cheated on me I'd end it straight away.

If it's an open relationship however, and both partners are okay with it, then I suppose anything goes.

Pretty much this. I think I'd be crushed if I had a partner who cheated on me.

In an open relationship though, is anything really qualified as "cheating" (since it implies deception or lies, which wouldn't need to be present in such a relationship)?

Eh, to me, an open relationship is not really a relationship. I understand that this may be arrogant, ignorant or even hurtful to people who are in them but frankly I don't care. A relationship is a bond between two people and it, to me at least, is a sacred thing.

 

[Vanguard_Ex]

Obsession is a young man's game, and what is cheating other then being obsessed with flesh if your willing to gamble the breaking of your partner's heart.

I instantly love you for this post. What a profound yet sensible way of putting it.

 

[khaimera]

Its awful and there is never an excuse. If you want to love or fuck someone else then end your current relationship and then do it. Be a man/woman about it. Cheaters are cowards in my opinion.

 

[Yureina]

Cheating is, at best, something worthy of calling out the most vile passions of those who have been cheated on. At worst it is a hanging offense, figurative or literal. I know that might seem extreme (I don't really mean it literally), but I sometimes find myself being more tolerant of those who flip out over being cheated on than those who do so for other reasons.

That's my position. I take personal honestly very seriously on a general level, but especailly so for intimate relationships where such honesty is vital.

 

[darkorion69]

I prefer open relationships myself, so to me cheating is having romantic or sexual intimacy without getting the consent of everyone else you are romantically or sexually involved with currently. In this sense a few months ago I was 'cheated on' with a person I had expressly said was not cool with me. It ended up in a shouting match because I felt ignored and betrayed. I did try to salvage the relationship because I really loved my girlfriend, so cheating is clearly not an automatic deal breaker for me.

Sex, love, and partnership are sacred to me. But sacred things should be shared, not hoarded imho. Sure it feels nice to be someone's 'Mr./Ms. One and Only' until you realize you are far more likely their 'Mr./Ms. Right Now.' I fear that many people prefer Monogamy due to Insecurity Issues and justify it as 'being right' or 'what I am entitled to in a lover.'

Love is hard, and life is too short, imho, to discard relationships over sexual and romantic indiscretions by default. Ask yourself this question, "If I really loved her, would I leave her because she cheated? If the answer is yes without a thought...that is not love imho. Love is worth forgiving and forgetting imho.

 

[Nanaki316]

Normally I would say cheating is bad, and I do agree but it is how I ended up with the love of my life.
I fell in love with him when I was 14, I had known him all my life but he was with someone else. He kissed me when I was 15, being a teenager in love I let him and didn't know how much damage it would cause.
When he eventually ended up single, I was with someone else (who was less than commited to me) I then ended up cheating and we ended up together. We're all still friends with our exes and stuff, and realise that it obviously happened for a reason and that me and my boyfriend were meant to be together.

But I don't agree with just outright being slutty and sleeping around (which by the way neither of us did whilst in our relationships, not that it excuses it) x

 

[OtherSideofSky]

The only way I can see it being even possibly okay is if one's partner was fully aware of and okay with it. In general it strikes me as a stupid and hurtful thing to do to someone and I can't understand why anyone would want to.

 

[DarkDain]

Well in the Bible apparently cheating is the only legitimate reason to get a divorce (not 100% sure about it so correct me if I'm wrong, please) and I would think it's not exactly the cheating itself that's the bad part, though that's certainly part of it. It's mostly, to me at least, the betrayal and the fact that one would be no longer trustworthy.

Thats correct. That and death. But it doesnt mean you cant have a separation for other reasons.

Cheating is about the worst you can do, should be a crime, emotional battery. Causes lots of damage.

 

[Girl With One Eye]

I would never forgive a cheater, even if they didn't sleep with them but kissed them. I just wouldn't be able to get over that kind of betrayal.

 

[TornadoADV]

I have no issue with it, we're all just animals, accepting the basic fact of sexual drive in all of us would lead to a lot less rage induced murders. Unlike most people, I don't connect sexual acts with how close I am with somebody or how much I care for them.

 

[krimson_dropz]

cheating is bad, open relationships, however are acceptable.
cheating implies the other doesnt know.

 

[Booze Zombie]

It's only cheating if you don't tell her you're sleeping around for hedonistic purposes and that you're not trying to move onto a new relationship.

Of course, you have to both stomach the idea of someone else doing it with your partner.

 

[ProfessorLayton]

Thats correct. That and death. But it doesnt mean you cant have a separation for other reasons.

Well I know you can get a divorce for other reasons, it's just that you're not supposed to... but the first thing I think of is "What if your partner is abusive?" I think God would understand...

 

[someonehairy-ish]

I think cheating is utterly reprehensible. That said, however, sleeping with someone else isn't necesarrily cheating, if your both cool with it, then no problem. It's the betrayal thats the problem.

Exactly. Some friends of mine have a 'friends with benefits' thing going on with each other. It works rather well. They're both bisexual so i think the general agreement is that if one of them finds someone willing then both of em get a piece of the action ^^.
I cant see this working for many people though. They are a very odd couple- in a nice way. I know it wouldnt work at all for me and my girlfriend. The only time id probably be cool with her sleeping with someone else would be if i had to go away somewhere for- i dunno, a year maybe- during which time i couldnt see her. Although if i got back and found out she'd decided to stay with this hypothetical guy id probably be devastated.

 

[Vanguard_Ex]

I would never forgive a cheater, even if they didn't sleep with them but kissed them. I just wouldn't be able to get over that kind of betrayal.

It's why I'm currently single. Just like you, even a kiss is too much to bear. I broke down.

I have no issue with it, we're all just animals, accepting the basic fact of sexual drive in all of us would lead to a lot less rage induced murders. Unlike most people, I don't connect sexual acts with how close I am with somebody or how much I care for them.

Animals with logic, reasoning, morals and complex emotional relationships that depend on communication and the actions we choose with our own executive thinking.
In my honest opinion, anyone who lets it slide because it's 'just our biology' or something similar are in denial.

I prefer open relationships myself, so to me cheating is having romantic or sexual intimacy without getting the consent of everyone else you are romantically or sexually involved with currently. In this sense a few months ago I was 'cheated on' with a person I had expressly said was not cool with me. It ended up in a shouting match because I felt ignored and betrayed. I did try to salvage the relationship because I really loved my girlfriend, so cheating is clearly not an automatic deal breaker for me.

Sex, love, and partnership are sacred to me. But sacred things should be shared, not hoarded imho. Sure it feels nice to be someone's 'Mr./Ms. One and Only' until you realize you are far more likely their 'Mr./Ms. Right Now.' I fear that many people prefer Monogamy due to Insecurity Issues and justify it as 'being right' or 'what I am entitled to in a lover.'

Love is hard, and life is too short, imho, to discard relationships over sexual and romantic indiscretions by default. Ask yourself this question, "If I really loved her, would I leave her because she cheated? If the answer is yes without a thought...that is not love imho. Love is worth forgiving and forgetting imho.

I have to say, whilst it is the almost complete opposite of what I believe, your opinion is very interesting. I applaud it.

 

[Something Amyss]

Puny mortals and your mon awe gummy.

 

[TylerC]

I think it's a horrible thing to do to someone. Either don't cheat or don't be in a relationship.