I already have, but the problem is that I'm prescribed them specifically for how they alter my mood, so I'm pretty much stuck with them until further notice.
Choo choo! All aboard the Complain Train!
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Speaking of trains, on an Amtrak to Chicago. I haven’t taken one of these since I was six but I wonder if I just chose to subconsciously block the diesel fumes out of distant memory. This is in business class too. Well shit, to add to matters, it felt like we just hit something because there was all kinds of racket trailing down the car outside, and we’re slowing down. Hmm. More to follow I guess.
Had a headache most of the day from the diesel fumes and probably also the four hours of sleep, then a day at the museum. But some good pizza, margarita and an old fashioned plus a shower helped. Definitely going to sit further away from the locomotive on the way back tomorrow. I think the horn was sounding nearly half the trip too.
How does one interact with over one thousand subreddits?
Are you actively seeking out subreddits that are adjacent to your dislikes and are you blocking them? Are you that active on Reddit that you run into that many new subreddits?
I'm quite amazed.
For almost a year, my next-door neighbor has been working on house remodeling/rennovation project.
They started with indoor projects, and now moving onto landscaping stuff.
It's his property, so he has the rights to whatever he wants, but it's also kinda annoying to see all the contractors that they hried constantly coming in and out of the shared path with 6 other houses. They take up so much space in what is already a small road. Not to mention the mess and the noise that they are making; Some works go late into the night as well.
And it looks like it's not gonna end any time soon
They started with indoor projects, and now moving onto landscaping stuff.
It's his property, so he has the rights to whatever he wants, but it's also kinda annoying to see all the contractors that they hried constantly coming in and out of the shared path with 6 other houses. They take up so much space in what is already a small road. Not to mention the mess and the noise that they are making; Some works go late into the night as well.
And it looks like it's not gonna end any time soon
Here's another one from me:
So a few days ago, a girl whom I went a few dates with like 2 years ago, asked me to meet up for a tea. For context, I was fully engaged during all our dates, but in the end she said something along the lines of "Yeah, I don't think I want a relationship right now....I want to focus on improving myself...." And she wasn't lying; She had some really tough shit happening in her life. We actually stayed in contact afterwards, and things were pretty civil between us. She even attended my church from time to time (she had a few friends there as well) and we kept things really casual.
Back to the present time; I met up with her and we chatted a bit on what we been up to, how we are doing these days, etc. Then she got to the main reason why she wanted to see me. So she has been a few dates with other guys, but none of them really worked out; it was a healthly mix of the guys saying "You aren't my type", and she saying the same thing to the guys. She admits she did have a bit too high of a standards, but at the same time she also wondered why she kept getting rejected.
But in the end, she realized that "you were the only one who was really nice to me, really trying to make things work during our dates"', and she was wondering if I was still interested.
Now I have a strick policy on myself when it comes to dating; If someone says "no" for the first time, it's "no" for the last time as well. I.E. Never look back or be clingy with the same girl. So I told her straight; I was happy on our dates from a few years ago, but I have moved on, and I don't ever ask to see if we can't work this out. I also told her that she isn't the first girl to break this news.
When I broke the news, she genuinely looked sad, but was trying to smile through, telling me "Oh okay.... Thanks for being honest with me". And the cheerful conversation that we were just having turned into an awkward silence. We parked in the same area, and the walk back to our cars was super uncomfortable. I told her I'd still love to say in contact with her and hang out, which I'm pretty sure made things worse.
I may have been the asshole here, but I have terrible experience being a bit too desperate. I had to set standards and boundaries or else I would kept destroying my self-esteem. It also took me a long time to move on from her, and trying to build something with her would've reopened that wound again.
So a few days ago, a girl whom I went a few dates with like 2 years ago, asked me to meet up for a tea. For context, I was fully engaged during all our dates, but in the end she said something along the lines of "Yeah, I don't think I want a relationship right now....I want to focus on improving myself...." And she wasn't lying; She had some really tough shit happening in her life. We actually stayed in contact afterwards, and things were pretty civil between us. She even attended my church from time to time (she had a few friends there as well) and we kept things really casual.
Back to the present time; I met up with her and we chatted a bit on what we been up to, how we are doing these days, etc. Then she got to the main reason why she wanted to see me. So she has been a few dates with other guys, but none of them really worked out; it was a healthly mix of the guys saying "You aren't my type", and she saying the same thing to the guys. She admits she did have a bit too high of a standards, but at the same time she also wondered why she kept getting rejected.
But in the end, she realized that "you were the only one who was really nice to me, really trying to make things work during our dates"', and she was wondering if I was still interested.
Now I have a strick policy on myself when it comes to dating; If someone says "no" for the first time, it's "no" for the last time as well. I.E. Never look back or be clingy with the same girl. So I told her straight; I was happy on our dates from a few years ago, but I have moved on, and I don't ever ask to see if we can't work this out. I also told her that she isn't the first girl to break this news.
When I broke the news, she genuinely looked sad, but was trying to smile through, telling me "Oh okay.... Thanks for being honest with me". And the cheerful conversation that we were just having turned into an awkward silence. We parked in the same area, and the walk back to our cars was super uncomfortable. I told her I'd still love to say in contact with her and hang out, which I'm pretty sure made things worse.
I may have been the asshole here, but I have terrible experience being a bit too desperate. I had to set standards and boundaries or else I would kept destroying my self-esteem. It also took me a long time to move on from her, and trying to build something with her would've reopened that wound again.
You are never the asshole for politely saying no. Or even impolitely if it has to come to that.
We do our laundry in our apartment's communal laundry room. Previously, you could sign up for a specific set of machines (dryer, washer) and timeslot through a website. Quite nifty, worked pretty well. You could see which machines were taken at what times.
Seemingly out of nowhere, they changed the system to only being able to select your timeslot. The set of machines you get is either random or depends what time you get to the laundry room. This means when a machine breaks, which is a common occurrence, laundry turns into a lottery for getting your week's laundry fucked over. Previously you could just see that a machine is broken and avoid booking it. So far, we have gotten stuck with a broken dryer twice.
Pissed me the fuck off the first time, because why even do this? I understood them letting you book broken machines in the old system, because maybe you just want to have run something through the dryer or wash then air dry. But now you get fucked over due to no fault of your own. What's even worse is that when we got assigned the faulty dryer, it turned out majority of the other machines in the room weren't even booked! Normally we would just check if these machines were truly vacant but they also removed the feature on the website to see which machines are booked.
So now we just have a straight up worse system in every way, with no communication as to the justification. Sigh.
Seemingly out of nowhere, they changed the system to only being able to select your timeslot. The set of machines you get is either random or depends what time you get to the laundry room. This means when a machine breaks, which is a common occurrence, laundry turns into a lottery for getting your week's laundry fucked over. Previously you could just see that a machine is broken and avoid booking it. So far, we have gotten stuck with a broken dryer twice.
Pissed me the fuck off the first time, because why even do this? I understood them letting you book broken machines in the old system, because maybe you just want to have run something through the dryer or wash then air dry. But now you get fucked over due to no fault of your own. What's even worse is that when we got assigned the faulty dryer, it turned out majority of the other machines in the room weren't even booked! Normally we would just check if these machines were truly vacant but they also removed the feature on the website to see which machines are booked.
So now we just have a straight up worse system in every way, with no communication as to the justification. Sigh.
I'm no love guru, but I believe any "strict policy" that disallows for the personal dynamics of others is really restrictive in an unhealthy way. You're basically telling yourself that "the one" has ONE shot to reveal herself, else you're moving on without reflection. I understand not wanting to be burnt or hurt again by a singular person, but shutting the door because she wasn't immediately soulmate material of your own design is very myopic. If all you have learned from relationship experience is that first encounters are the indicator of total value, then you're really limiting yourself. Understand that we're each on the same journey of discovery as you are; this woman needed to experience the world around her and refine her perspective, and she ultimately found that you were what she appreciated most... and you tried to friend-zone her? Look, I don't know any better than you, but after my wealth of relationships, I can say without hesitation that it's very rare to find someone who looks at their life experience and comes back to YOU and says you made it the best, YOU were worth an investment, YOU are worth HER chance. Ever had samples at a buffet where you try a bit of everything before deciding what you want to make a meal out of? Is everything off the table that you had a bite of, but didn't make a plate with?
I'm just saying, there are ways to proceed with your guard up that don't, by default, exclude past relationships. The measure of your value is NOT necessarily whoever claims it on the first pass. You are unique - and this is going to sound harsh - but you are not special, at least not in any way other than someone designates, and this woman designated you as special to her. No, she won't want to "just hang out" with someone who she's opened herself up to who is keeping her at arms length for arbitrary reasons.
My suggestion? Give it another shot. Understand that you have your standards and expectations on an interpersonal level, and hold her to them, but not getting you on the first try shouldn't be an automatic disqualifier. It's hilarious for someone who has mentioned relationship woes on a multitude of occasions to have someone seek you out only to snub her because she missed her ONE shot. You're going to live a lonely life if your expectation is that "the one" will slip trough your pigeon hole while ANYONE else is banging on the door. If it works, great. If not, you can fall back on your reticence security blanket and know you were prepared to expect it, but at least you're not shutting out a woman who came back to you with the clarity of experience.
Here's the thing; I have been called a creep, a loser, and even obsessed before. It wasn't my attention, but that was the result of me trying to save a relationship, or trying to make it work. After feeling horrible for anyone whom I made feel that way, and wallowing in self-pity, it took me some time of self-reflection and recovery, and the conclusion that I came up with was to never repeat my mistake in trying too hard, but rather observe and see if the energy was truly mutual.
So I guess I am not as strick on myself as I had described initially. In fact, I am thinking about asking someone out who turned me down before. Whole other story, but we have gotten pretty close at this point, and now that she knows me more I have a good feeling about asking her out again.
But going back to the girl in the story, looking back now, I don't want to be too mean, but it was clear she wasn't nearly as invested as I am when we went on our dates. That sort of made my decision to move on more certain. And I won't lie, when she asked if I was interested, part of me really wanted to say "yes". But then I realized two things; One, it would take me a long time to re-kindle that feelings I had for her, and secondly, this time I would be the one who wont be as invested. Hell, I am not sure if the spark will ever happen again. That sort of made me realize I'd really rather have as a friend, and nothing more.
And I don't want her to experience the same feeling of being frustrated, and one-sided relationship.
I am not making myself out to be anyone special; I also am not waiting for "the one". At least I don't view myself as doing so? I am honestly fine with being single forever or finding someone eventually; But I still want to see the feeling and the efforts be mutual, and not be as one-sided.
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I think you did the right thing. You shouldn't settle for being someone's "back-up plan."
If there's a reason that she rejected you before that reason still likely exists.
I wouldn't trust the phrase "I just don't want a relationship right now" if a girl says that after going on a date with you. She wanted a relationship before going on the date, so saying "I don't want a relationship right now" after the date basically means she doesn't want a relationship with you but doesn't want you to think it's your fault. The likely truth is that she didn't click with you romantically, or physically, or due to any number of reasons (any and all of which are completely valid for rejecting someone).
Maybe she liked you but just thought she could do better and fomo'd herself out of dating you. Maybe she thought that you were boring, or too safe, or not spontaneous, or too spontaneous. Whatever the issue was, you likely haven't changed as a person, she just went on a bunch of dates and decided that she's willing to settle for you now regardless of whatever issues she had. Frankly, I think that's a recipe for unhappiness. Either whatever her initial problem with you is going to wear down on her and make her annoyed and angry over time or she'll try to change you, or she'll leave you for someone she thinks is a better fit if/when they come around.
There's a reason that most relationships end, and even half of marriages end in divorce. If you didn't click you didn't click, and trying to force it just because she decided that she's less picky now is probably going to waste both your time. There's no need to brute force a relationship just because you both happen to be alone at the same time.
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It's stupid how much it costs to be environmentally and socially conscious.
If I want a piece of clothing that is created in an environmentally sustainable and eco-friendly way, and also didn't involve slave-labor or sweatshops it costs 3x-10x more. The vast majority of people literally cannot afford those prices even if they wanted.
If I want a piece of clothing that is created in an environmentally sustainable and eco-friendly way, and also didn't involve slave-labor or sweatshops it costs 3x-10x more. The vast majority of people literally cannot afford those prices even if they wanted.
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Glad this guy got arrested for killing a kid (let alone dating her at one point, and knew her when she was 11), but the fact his family and friends knew and did nothing sickens me. Not to mention, his fandom are trying defends his actions, or claim D4vd was "framed". I find these people somewhat worse than him, because they wouldn't cry unless it happened to them, or somebody they care about.