Choo choo! All aboard the Complain Train!
- Thread starter Mister Mumbler
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- Feb 7, 2011
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There's a great video by William Osman where he was making his own soda flavors and he was reading off the ingredient list for all of the flavor chemicals and went "these are all just petroleum! No wonder we keep invading the middle east for their oil, we eat it all!"
My struggle to find my SO continues!
At the end of May of this year, I contacted a Korean-American matchmaking service. This isn't your typical online dating platform; This services like this have existed in Korea for a very long time. It is for those who feel they are getting left behind, and to match people who are looking for committed realtionship that will lead to marriage. In fact, marriage is the ultimate goal for the service and the users on the service.
They ask for very specific details such as financial situation, residence, your parents finance situation*, job status, age, physique, hobbies, what kind of person you are looking for, etc.
Anyways, I wrote down my details on the application, and on the question of what kind of person that I am looking for, I answered. "I geninuely don't care as long as they don't mind my height". being 5"2" (or 157cm), I knew many women would take an issue with this, so I wanted to meet the few who were willing to overlook my height, or at the very least don't care.
She said I was good-looking, love how I am physically active, decent salary to start a family, with my height being my only flaw. She said she'll get back to me in a week to see if she can match me up with anyone before I pay premium for their service. Keep in mind this was at the end of May
It's late-June, and she finally got back to me. She apologized for getting in contact with me so late. She also apologized and told me she tried her best, but there was no one to match me with. No one was looking for men of my height.
She said sorry to tell me this, and sounded sincere, decided not to move forward with my application. She also promised that she'll get back to me if she finds someone.
Honestly, not the first time I got rejected because of my height, and it won't be the last. I was kinda expecting this outcome, but I would be lying if I said it didn't hurt a bit. I am also not expecting her to ever get back to me.
It also taught me to never use these matchmaking services, and by extension, any dating apps again.
Still, I was a bit suprised to see myself being so okay with this, and only hurting for like a day. But I am not sure if being "okay" is means that I am actually feeling fine and content with my life, or if I am developing a numbness to the pain
At the end of May of this year, I contacted a Korean-American matchmaking service. This isn't your typical online dating platform; This services like this have existed in Korea for a very long time. It is for those who feel they are getting left behind, and to match people who are looking for committed realtionship that will lead to marriage. In fact, marriage is the ultimate goal for the service and the users on the service.
They ask for very specific details such as financial situation, residence, your parents finance situation*, job status, age, physique, hobbies, what kind of person you are looking for, etc.
Anyways, I wrote down my details on the application, and on the question of what kind of person that I am looking for, I answered. "I geninuely don't care as long as they don't mind my height". being 5"2" (or 157cm), I knew many women would take an issue with this, so I wanted to meet the few who were willing to overlook my height, or at the very least don't care.
She said I was good-looking, love how I am physically active, decent salary to start a family, with my height being my only flaw. She said she'll get back to me in a week to see if she can match me up with anyone before I pay premium for their service. Keep in mind this was at the end of May
It's late-June, and she finally got back to me. She apologized for getting in contact with me so late. She also apologized and told me she tried her best, but there was no one to match me with. No one was looking for men of my height.
She said sorry to tell me this, and sounded sincere, decided not to move forward with my application. She also promised that she'll get back to me if she finds someone.
Honestly, not the first time I got rejected because of my height, and it won't be the last. I was kinda expecting this outcome, but I would be lying if I said it didn't hurt a bit. I am also not expecting her to ever get back to me.
It also taught me to never use these matchmaking services, and by extension, any dating apps again.
Still, I was a bit suprised to see myself being so okay with this, and only hurting for like a day. But I am not sure if being "okay" is means that I am actually feeling fine and content with my life, or if I am developing a numbness to the pain
I'll say this about dating services, particularly those like the one you've described: any service that asks you to objectively qualify yourself to sell yourself to people you've never met cannot be good. You put what you believe to be your truest self on a form only to have another party tell you you're not good enough? Finding a relationship shouldn't feel like shopping, as a buyer OR a seller. If anyone learns your height and discounts you because you literally don't "measure up" without ever having even met you, well, that's not anyone you should want to build a future with. Who allows a few inches to disqualify someone who might check every other box in spades? Guess they'll never know; they didn't try.
I think I've mentioned this once before in another of your relationship-focused posts, but in the several relationships I've had, I think I only asked a couple of the women out first; the rest hit on me. That's not me bragging, but me letting you know that being yourself, not trying to exemplify what you think someone else wants, can attract more people who are genuinely interested than just listing your assets on an application and expecting someone else to matchmake.
I used a dating app exactly once several years ago. I was matched with a woman, and we went on a date. Whatever algorithm matched us didn't account for the fact that we didn't click AT ALL. I don't recall what I listed about myself, neither do I know how she qualified herself, but the app said we were a match, and it ended up being the longest 2 hour date of my life. Conversely, I've gone to a local pub, shot some pool, made some people laugh, and have been chatted up by several women who don't know my interests, hobbies, or my definitive height, but were genuinely curious about me.
Confidence comes in many flavors, but the easiest to swallow is not caring what anyone else thinks. It doesn't have to be forced down people's throats; you don't have to be an asshole, but feeling comfortable in your own skin, walking out the front door knowing some people will like you, other people won't, and not allowing that to mandate who you are is very liberating, and attracts people who can be curious about you, curious enough to want to spend time with you, date you, marry you.
- Feb 7, 2011
- 9,050
- 3,731
- 118
- Country
- 'Merica
- Gender
- 3 children in a trench coat
Is there a reason you're specifically looking for a Korean SO? South Korean culture is kind of famously looks obsessed and statistically Koreans are also the tallest of the east asian nationalities, so at 5'2" you're actively playing on hard mode.
Realistically though, most women who hire a matchmaking service are looking for the same thing, a guy who is 6 feet tall who is making 6 figures. That's less than 1% of the population, but this is what they want and why they've specifically hired someone to find it for them. That's not an environment you're going to thrive, because your best qualities aren't something that can be condensed down into a spreadsheet. Fundamentally you need to get out to places where you can show people that you're funny, interesting, outgoing, etc, and that's not going to happen by writing down some stats about yourself for a headhunter to do the leg-work for you.
I mean, being 5'2" is a rough hand to be dealt, but online dating and matchmaking sites aren't going to be doing you any favors, you need a different and more personal approach out in the real world.
Is it just me, or are the forums being weird? The notifications are buggy and the "latest posts" sidebar is always outdated.
It's happening to several of us as well. I find when I first open the page, I just immediately refresh it, and it updates. Still obvious that the site is malfunctioning, but I've found a workaround for the time being.
Hmm. Let's hope that it's not a sign that they're going to wind down these forums.
Summer can fuck off. If we could have perpetual late spring/early autumn that would be nice.
First you can't access notifications on mobile, now the website is always outdated until you hit refresh. These things are gonna keep mounting until the forums paradox out of existence and the people in charge don't even notice.
The mobile version of the website broke for me maybe a year ago and I've just being using the desktop version on my phone ever since. When that happened honestly I thought we were done for.
Our internet is down until tomorrow afternoon. Our ISP has to replace our modem. Guess we'll be watching DVDs for the next 24 hours....
Our internet is down until tomorrow afternoon. Our ISP has to replace our modem. Guess we'll be watching DVDs for the next 24 hours....
Honestly, that would be the worst scenario. Not sudden shuttering, nor slow dying out, but breaking down. Still there, but unusable.