I think they should also add a gun that fires bullets that magically home into my head from behind walls and around corners and over roofs. Oh wait, that already happens.
Alright then, if it's random weapons we're going for...
A gun that constantly hums 'The Mexican Hat' and shoots rabid honey badgers. It reloads in 0.4 seconds and has a maximum ammo capacity of 10'000 badgers. It also screams if there is an enemy nearby.
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