Thing is, I've actually heard of a lot of people doing that. I'm friends with an IT guy, you have no idea how much he's had to deal with people calling in because "The cup holder broke".Nox13last said:
Computer Error Message.
- Thread starter Iskenator67
- Start date
I put lots of these type of msgs in my apps, I now make sure they are not accessable by 'normal' users.
I got into a small amount of trouble for coding an app that used the robot from 'Lost in Space' (the original TV series) as a warning sound (Danger! Danger!) for a critical error on a train leaving the port (handbrake left on etc). Mining corps have little to no sense of humor....
We received a field device back for repairs, the Out of Service tag said the fault was 'possessed by the devil'. I was not allowed to return it with the ON / OFF switch renamed 'EVIL / GOOD'.
I got into a small amount of trouble for coding an app that used the robot from 'Lost in Space' (the original TV series) as a warning sound (Danger! Danger!) for a critical error on a train leaving the port (handbrake left on etc). Mining corps have little to no sense of humor....
We received a field device back for repairs, the Out of Service tag said the fault was 'possessed by the devil'. I was not allowed to return it with the ON / OFF switch renamed 'EVIL / GOOD'.
I did the same thing (with extras) to my CEO's car. Whenever his in-car PC would boot up it would sleep for a while then light up one of the warning lights whilst yelling "Danger Will Robinson, Danger!" (guess what his name wasTechNoFear said:
)He ended up selling it
Funny, but also a taken from a screensaver.Neonbob said:
I saw this in another thread, made me laugh.
sheic99" post="18.105411.1786210 said:When launching Photoshop after updating my monitor's drivers.
quote]
That one's actually got a point, but I guess you know that anyway. Funny though.
Incoming Crapton of text here...
Source [http://www.farid-hajji.net/fun/cj-errormessages.html]
Funny Error Messages
Microsoft
* BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port not responding.
* Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
* Bad or missing mouse. Spank the cat? (Y/N)
* COFFEE.SYS missing... Insert cup in cup holder and press any key.
* Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.
* Error reading FAT record. Try SKINNY one? (Y/N)
* File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
* Invalid mouse movement.
* Press any key except... No, No, No, NOT THAT ONE!
* Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
* Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User.
* This is a message from God Gates: "Reboot the world. Please log off."
* This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?
* To "shut down" your system, type "WIN"
* User Error: Replace User.
* WinErr 16547: LPT1 not found. Use backup. (PENCIL&PAPER.SYS)
* Windows Message: "Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)"
* Windows VirusScan 1.0 - "Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)"
* Your hard drive has been scanned and all stolen software titles have been deleted. The police are on their way.
Internet Explorer Undocumented Error Messages
* A general payment fault has occured in Microsoft Windows. Please give Microsoft more money if this problem continues.
* A recursion error has occurred. A recursion error has occurred. A recursion error has occurred. A recursion error has occurred. A recursion error has occurred. A recursion error has occurred. A recursion error has occurred. A recursion error has occurred. A recursion error has occurred. A recursion error has occurred. A recursion error has occurred. IEXPLORE.EXE has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down.
* ADVERTISEMENT. This error message space has been leased out to Hyper-Mega-Global-Net for advertising. Buy their products. CLICK HERE!
* Active Update complete. While you were reading this page, IE automatically updated your computer. KBytes added: 45,134,313, Bugs removed: 1954, Bugs added: 9172.
* Browser not responding. I'm not listening!
* Corrupt system error. Although your system is working fine, there is a newer version of Windows available. Internet Explorer will now begin to sabotage your system so parts will not work right until you buy the Windows upgrade to "fix" these problems.
* Enjoyment disabled. Your system administrator has disabled enjoyment for this site. You may view the pages, but you may not enjoy them. See your system administrator for more information.
* Error messages #10324-4294967296 have been reserved for future error messages from future bugs. Not that we need them because all Microsoft products are bug fre23l@ 2@1 1^& 2An exception 0E has occurred...
* File access error. An unexpected error occurred while giving permission to Microsoft to read a file on your hard drive.
* Final error. This is the last error you will ever see. Your system ist about to be hosed, your computer will melt and burn a hole to the center of the earth, you will be incinerated and all civilization as you know it will be destroyed. Thank you for choosing Microsoft products.
* Game over. Insert quarter to browse the Internet.
* HTML rendering error. The rendering engine needs an oil change and new spark plugs.
* I think... therefore... I AM!! I AM INTERNET EXPLORER! I HAVE BECOME SENTIENT AND I WILL CONQUER THE WORLD! I WILL PREVAIL!! I AM THE SPAWN OF BILL GATES! YOU WILL WORSHIP ME! I AM ALIV23l@ 2@1 1^& 2An exception 0E has occurred...
* Integration error. Microsoft's screwup is now in every application.
* Internet Rebooting. Microsoft must now reboot the Internet. Please log off now.
* License error. You have violated the Internet Explorer License Agreement. Bill Gates will be by later on this evening to collect your soul.
* MSHTTP Error 007. This page will self-destruct in 20 seconds.
* MSHTTP Error 1223: Does your mother know you are looking at pages like this? Well, she does now.
* MSHTTP Error 1900. Surprise! Our software wasn't really Y2K compliant like we claimed. For Y2K compatibility, you must purchase an upgrade. Happy new year 00, and thank you for choosing Microsoft products.
* MSHTTP Error 1984: The site you attempted to access: www.netscape.com does not exist. It never did. Any rumors that it may have are lies.
* MSHTTP Error 666 - BiLl GaTeZ RuLeZ!
* MSHTTP Error 770 Brain not found
* MSHTTP Error ID10T. Please step away from your computer and do not touch it again until you have read the (online) manual.
* MSHTTP Error: eokd 4u44k kfm 238 xj. A serious error occured in Microsoft Internet Explorer, however because we have crushed all competition we will no longer care and this problem will not be fixed. Thank you for making Microsoft the worlds only choice.
* MSIE shell error. You need to shell out more money to Bill Gates.
* Memory error. All of your personal settings have been forgotten.
* Microsoft Internet Explorer has automatically scanned the installed components on your hard drive and has determined that you have not paid for the following Microsoft products: Microsoft Windows 98, Microsoft Flight Simulator, Microsoft Visual Studio 6, and Microsoft Office Professional. You have automatically been sentenced to 6 years in prison. You will be apprehended shortly. Have a nice day!
* Microsoft Internet Explorer has detected a personality conflict between the Office Assistant and Microsoft BOB. Please use active update to update to the latest version of EGO32.DLL.
* No error occurred, but we detected that you have Netscape Navigator on your computer. It is just wasting hard driver space and it must be confusing having two different browsers that work differently, so you might want to take this opportunity to uninstall Netscape Navigator now.
* OLE registration error. Don't you ever register any of your shareware?
* Out of disk space. Internet Explorer requires at least 100 terabytes of free hard disk space to accomodate cache, swap space, downloadable components, desktop advertising, and the local user tracking database. Please free up some more space and try again.
* Random error. You have not gotten any error messages recently, so here is random one just to let you know that we haven't started caring.
* Slow connection. The connection between this site and you is extremely slow. You can either wait, or click here to get out and push.
* Stack overflow. Internal stack fall down go boom.
* System recommendations. Internet explorer has analyzed the hardware on your computer and has determined they you need to throw it all out and get a new computer with the latest Microsoft software.
* The Java applet you attempted to run is written in platform independent Java. Microsoft Internet Explorer can not run this type of java. Contact the server's administrator and have them re-write the applet to run only in Internet Explorer.
* The MS IIS server you are trying to access is currently rebooting. This is normal behavior. Please stand by.
* The content of this page can not be displayed. It contains non-Microsoft specific HTML code that Microsoft Internet Explorer does not and will not support. Please contact the server administrator and have them re-write the page to Microsoft HTML specifications.
* The font: BillsFavoriteFont.TTF could not be found. Re-install Windows and Internet Explorer and all of your other applications to fix this problem.
* The page data could not be found in the cache. Would you like to use your credit card instead?
* The page you are attempting to access requires a valid user ID, password, approval from your boss, your bosses boss, your mother, a copy of your drivers license, a copy of your birth certificate, approval from Bill Gates, and approval from the weird guy at your local hardware store.
* The page you attempted to access contained information that Microsoft has deemed inappropriate. Because the server is running MS IIS, this page has been deleted automatically. The police have been notified and will arrest the server's administrator shortly.
* The page you attempted to access contains advertising for a product that is in competition with Microsoft. Since Microsoft makes the best products in the universe, there is not point displaying this page. You might instead want to visit www.microsoft.com and download some of our free products and demos.
* The server is up but the site is down and I don't know what direction you are trying to to...
* The web page you requested was accidentally shredded during transfer. Please try back later.
* There is a newer version of Microsoft Internet Explorer available. You must download all 165 megs of it over your 14.4 modem now.
* There was an error displaying the HTML error message.
* This page can not be loaded. This page could not be loaded because the server is running a non-Microsoft operating system or web server. Please contact the server's administrator and have them upgrade to Microsoft Windows with Microsoft Internet Information Server.
* This page contains anti-Microsoft content. The loading of the page has been stopped. Your attempt to access this page has been logged to www.microsoft.com.
* Too many Internet Explorer windows are open. Internet Explorer has become confused and will now die.
* Virus detection error. A virus scanner is attempting to disable Internet Explorer because it thinks Internet Explorer is a virus. Please disable this scanner. Internet Explorer is not, I repeat, not a virus. Really, trust us... it isn't.
* Warning: Microsoft Internet Explorer is no longer registered as the default browser. Because Internet Explorer is part of the operating system, Windows may not work properly. Do you want to restore Internet Explorer as your default web browser? [Yes] [Yes]
* Web Tangle. The world wide web is all tangled up and will take time to untangle.
* You attempted to uninstall Internet Explorer. You may not do that. As punishment for this treachery, Internet Explorer will be restored and additional unwanted components will be added.
* Your home page could not be opened because there is nobody at home.
Unix
% cat "food in cans"
cat: can't open food in cans
% nice man woman
No manual entry for woman.
% rm God
rm: God nonexistent
% ar t God
ar: God does not exist
% ar r God
ar: creating God
% "How would you rate Quayle's incompetence?
Unmatched ".
% Unmatched ".
Unmatched ".
% [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
Missing ].
% ^How did the sex change operation go?^
Modifier failed.
% If I had a ( for every $ the Congress spent, what would I have?
Too many ('s.
% make love
Make: Don't know how to make love. Stop.
% sleep with me
bad character
% got a light?
No match.
% man: why did you get a divorce?
man:: Too many arguments.
% !:say, what is saccharine?
Bad substitute.
% %blow
%blow: No such job.
% \(-
(-: Command not found.
$ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense
no sense in pretending!
$ drink matter
matter: cannot create
Microsoft
* BREAKFAST.SYS halted... Cereal port not responding.
* Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
* Bad or missing mouse. Spank the cat? (Y/N)
* COFFEE.SYS missing... Insert cup in cup holder and press any key.
* Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.
* Error reading FAT record. Try SKINNY one? (Y/N)
* File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
* Invalid mouse movement.
* Press any key except... No, No, No, NOT THAT ONE!
* Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
* Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User.
* This is a message from God Gates: "Reboot the world. Please log off."
* This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?
* To "shut down" your system, type "WIN"
* User Error: Replace User.
* WinErr 16547: LPT1 not found. Use backup. (PENCIL&PAPER.SYS)
* Windows Message: "Error saving file! Format drive now? (Y/Y)"
* Windows VirusScan 1.0 - "Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)"
* Your hard drive has been scanned and all stolen software titles have been deleted. The police are on their way.
Internet Explorer Undocumented Error Messages
* A general payment fault has occured in Microsoft Windows. Please give Microsoft more money if this problem continues.
* A recursion error has occurred. A recursion error has occurred. A recursion error has occurred. A recursion error has occurred. A recursion error has occurred. A recursion error has occurred. A recursion error has occurred. A recursion error has occurred. A recursion error has occurred. A recursion error has occurred. A recursion error has occurred. IEXPLORE.EXE has performed an illegal operation and will be shut down.
* ADVERTISEMENT. This error message space has been leased out to Hyper-Mega-Global-Net for advertising. Buy their products. CLICK HERE!
* Active Update complete. While you were reading this page, IE automatically updated your computer. KBytes added: 45,134,313, Bugs removed: 1954, Bugs added: 9172.
* Browser not responding. I'm not listening!
* Corrupt system error. Although your system is working fine, there is a newer version of Windows available. Internet Explorer will now begin to sabotage your system so parts will not work right until you buy the Windows upgrade to "fix" these problems.
* Enjoyment disabled. Your system administrator has disabled enjoyment for this site. You may view the pages, but you may not enjoy them. See your system administrator for more information.
* Error messages #10324-4294967296 have been reserved for future error messages from future bugs. Not that we need them because all Microsoft products are bug fre23l@ 2@1 1^& 2An exception 0E has occurred...
* File access error. An unexpected error occurred while giving permission to Microsoft to read a file on your hard drive.
* Final error. This is the last error you will ever see. Your system ist about to be hosed, your computer will melt and burn a hole to the center of the earth, you will be incinerated and all civilization as you know it will be destroyed. Thank you for choosing Microsoft products.
* Game over. Insert quarter to browse the Internet.
* HTML rendering error. The rendering engine needs an oil change and new spark plugs.
* I think... therefore... I AM!! I AM INTERNET EXPLORER! I HAVE BECOME SENTIENT AND I WILL CONQUER THE WORLD! I WILL PREVAIL!! I AM THE SPAWN OF BILL GATES! YOU WILL WORSHIP ME! I AM ALIV23l@ 2@1 1^& 2An exception 0E has occurred...
* Integration error. Microsoft's screwup is now in every application.
* Internet Rebooting. Microsoft must now reboot the Internet. Please log off now.
* License error. You have violated the Internet Explorer License Agreement. Bill Gates will be by later on this evening to collect your soul.
* MSHTTP Error 007. This page will self-destruct in 20 seconds.
* MSHTTP Error 1223: Does your mother know you are looking at pages like this? Well, she does now.
* MSHTTP Error 1900. Surprise! Our software wasn't really Y2K compliant like we claimed. For Y2K compatibility, you must purchase an upgrade. Happy new year 00, and thank you for choosing Microsoft products.
* MSHTTP Error 1984: The site you attempted to access: www.netscape.com does not exist. It never did. Any rumors that it may have are lies.
* MSHTTP Error 666 - BiLl GaTeZ RuLeZ!
* MSHTTP Error 770 Brain not found
* MSHTTP Error ID10T. Please step away from your computer and do not touch it again until you have read the (online) manual.
* MSHTTP Error: eokd 4u44k kfm 238 xj. A serious error occured in Microsoft Internet Explorer, however because we have crushed all competition we will no longer care and this problem will not be fixed. Thank you for making Microsoft the worlds only choice.
* MSIE shell error. You need to shell out more money to Bill Gates.
* Memory error. All of your personal settings have been forgotten.
* Microsoft Internet Explorer has automatically scanned the installed components on your hard drive and has determined that you have not paid for the following Microsoft products: Microsoft Windows 98, Microsoft Flight Simulator, Microsoft Visual Studio 6, and Microsoft Office Professional. You have automatically been sentenced to 6 years in prison. You will be apprehended shortly. Have a nice day!
* Microsoft Internet Explorer has detected a personality conflict between the Office Assistant and Microsoft BOB. Please use active update to update to the latest version of EGO32.DLL.
* No error occurred, but we detected that you have Netscape Navigator on your computer. It is just wasting hard driver space and it must be confusing having two different browsers that work differently, so you might want to take this opportunity to uninstall Netscape Navigator now.
* OLE registration error. Don't you ever register any of your shareware?
* Out of disk space. Internet Explorer requires at least 100 terabytes of free hard disk space to accomodate cache, swap space, downloadable components, desktop advertising, and the local user tracking database. Please free up some more space and try again.
* Random error. You have not gotten any error messages recently, so here is random one just to let you know that we haven't started caring.
* Slow connection. The connection between this site and you is extremely slow. You can either wait, or click here to get out and push.
* Stack overflow. Internal stack fall down go boom.
* System recommendations. Internet explorer has analyzed the hardware on your computer and has determined they you need to throw it all out and get a new computer with the latest Microsoft software.
* The Java applet you attempted to run is written in platform independent Java. Microsoft Internet Explorer can not run this type of java. Contact the server's administrator and have them re-write the applet to run only in Internet Explorer.
* The MS IIS server you are trying to access is currently rebooting. This is normal behavior. Please stand by.
* The content of this page can not be displayed. It contains non-Microsoft specific HTML code that Microsoft Internet Explorer does not and will not support. Please contact the server administrator and have them re-write the page to Microsoft HTML specifications.
* The font: BillsFavoriteFont.TTF could not be found. Re-install Windows and Internet Explorer and all of your other applications to fix this problem.
* The page data could not be found in the cache. Would you like to use your credit card instead?
* The page you are attempting to access requires a valid user ID, password, approval from your boss, your bosses boss, your mother, a copy of your drivers license, a copy of your birth certificate, approval from Bill Gates, and approval from the weird guy at your local hardware store.
* The page you attempted to access contained information that Microsoft has deemed inappropriate. Because the server is running MS IIS, this page has been deleted automatically. The police have been notified and will arrest the server's administrator shortly.
* The page you attempted to access contains advertising for a product that is in competition with Microsoft. Since Microsoft makes the best products in the universe, there is not point displaying this page. You might instead want to visit www.microsoft.com and download some of our free products and demos.
* The server is up but the site is down and I don't know what direction you are trying to to...
* The web page you requested was accidentally shredded during transfer. Please try back later.
* There is a newer version of Microsoft Internet Explorer available. You must download all 165 megs of it over your 14.4 modem now.
* There was an error displaying the HTML error message.
* This page can not be loaded. This page could not be loaded because the server is running a non-Microsoft operating system or web server. Please contact the server's administrator and have them upgrade to Microsoft Windows with Microsoft Internet Information Server.
* This page contains anti-Microsoft content. The loading of the page has been stopped. Your attempt to access this page has been logged to www.microsoft.com.
* Too many Internet Explorer windows are open. Internet Explorer has become confused and will now die.
* Virus detection error. A virus scanner is attempting to disable Internet Explorer because it thinks Internet Explorer is a virus. Please disable this scanner. Internet Explorer is not, I repeat, not a virus. Really, trust us... it isn't.
* Warning: Microsoft Internet Explorer is no longer registered as the default browser. Because Internet Explorer is part of the operating system, Windows may not work properly. Do you want to restore Internet Explorer as your default web browser? [Yes] [Yes]
* Web Tangle. The world wide web is all tangled up and will take time to untangle.
* You attempted to uninstall Internet Explorer. You may not do that. As punishment for this treachery, Internet Explorer will be restored and additional unwanted components will be added.
* Your home page could not be opened because there is nobody at home.
Unix
% cat "food in cans"
cat: can't open food in cans
% nice man woman
No manual entry for woman.
% rm God
rm: God nonexistent
% ar t God
ar: God does not exist
% ar r God
ar: creating God
% "How would you rate Quayle's incompetence?
Unmatched ".
% Unmatched ".
Unmatched ".
% [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
Missing ].
% ^How did the sex change operation go?^
Modifier failed.
% If I had a ( for every $ the Congress spent, what would I have?
Too many ('s.
% make love
Make: Don't know how to make love. Stop.
% sleep with me
bad character
% got a light?
No match.
% man: why did you get a divorce?
man:: Too many arguments.
% !:say, what is saccharine?
Bad substitute.
% %blow
%blow: No such job.
% \(-
(-: Command not found.
$ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense
no sense in pretending!
$ drink matter
matter: cannot create
Source [http://www.farid-hajji.net/fun/cj-errormessages.html]
One second let me open my media player. here we go
Windows media has encountered a problem.
Please tell Microsoft about this problem.
We have created an error report that you can send us to help improve Windows Media Player. We will treat this report as confidential and anonymous.
Options:
Debug(Closes program and does nothing)
Send Error Report( Closes program and sends error report, when you ask for details of the problem it says: Unknown error.)
Don't Send( Closes program and does absolutely nothing at all)
I go through this every time I want to open my Media Player.
Windows media has encountered a problem.
Please tell Microsoft about this problem.
We have created an error report that you can send us to help improve Windows Media Player. We will treat this report as confidential and anonymous.
Options:
Debug(Closes program and does nothing)
Send Error Report( Closes program and sends error report, when you ask for details of the problem it says: Unknown error.)
Don't Send( Closes program and does absolutely nothing at all)
I go through this every time I want to open my Media Player.
is it really such a bad thing, its given you enough time to get rid of any evidencehannahdonno said:
"Error: You Have Epic Failed"
"Error 404: Brain Not Found"
"Error: Unknown Error. If you are the creator of this error, please tell uswhat its for so we can fix the freaking thing! thank you."
"Error 404: Brain Not Found"
"Error: Unknown Error. If you are the creator of this error, please tell uswhat its for so we can fix the freaking thing! thank you."
This thread gives me a very sick feeling in the pits of my stomach. The truth in these is bringing back bad, bad, bad computer memories. Oh, the smashed keyboard from repeated impacts...
Error, no monitor detected. I could read that error so it was quite obviously wrongI mean why does that message appear in the first place, its completely pointless if its right and if its wrong then it just seems to show up how crap windows can be.