Coping With Death.

[SimpleChimp]

A friend of mine, a kid i new threw out highschool, just died. He was a close friend of my brother. At first i didn't care, but slowly as i sit here i can feel it wash over me.

My question is,

How do you guys cope with death? It could be a loss of a friend, relative, or pet.

Whats the best way to cope, what are things to avoid?


and also, whats the best way to help my brother?

 

[Dr.Poisonfreak]

write it down, it's a lot easier to cope if you have outlet

hope this helped a bit i know how you feel

 

[Jaranja]

i know what you're going through. Basically, you have to talk to as many people as possible about death. My mind was constantly swarmed with thoughts about it until i got everyone elses view on the matter. Don't see a therapist or anything like that though, not necessary. Another good thing to do is just keep your mind off it as best you can. Of course, that's what video games are friends are for, right?

 

[SimpleChimp]

write it down, it's a lot easier to cope if you have outlet

hope this helped a bit i know how you feel

Thanks. I'm more worried about my Big Brother tho. He really takes things to heart, and this guy was one of his first real friends in high school.

 

[LogicNProportion]

First, I am sorry to hear of you and your brother's tragedy.

It all depends on how and who you are. Here's a few examples.

If you're the religious type, pray. Pray until you can't pray anymore, or do the equivalence of whatever that religion lets you do.

Do something that you all enjoyed to do together. Emotions might get high and unstable as you do it, but it should get better. If anything, try to express what you're feeling through something constructive. Use that emotion and turn it into something.

Cry. In times like these, it's always proper to get a good cry or two out.

Keep in mind, foremost, that instead of giving into any kind of despair, keep in mind that you get to live, something they would love to be doing right now. So, live for the both of ya, in honor of their passing. A bit...off...sounding at the beginning there, but I think you know what I mean.

That's my advice. Helped me get through hard times that involved very close ones being killed. I wish ya luck and the best fate can offer. Peace.

 

[SimpleChimp]

It's weird. I was at my friends when i learned the news, and it didn't affect me at all. But the second i got into my room i have just felt completely numb and tired. I am not crying, do not even feel any sort of building sadness.

Just a numb.

But my brain is still working at a million miles a minute telling me i should be sad, telling me random things, but most importantly i really have to focus to hear my own thoughts.

Its the first time i have ever not been able to hear the torrent of thoughts running threw my head.

 

[Dr.Poisonfreak]

Best way to cope with death is as follows:

Don't give a fuck.

really constructive, well done.

 

[SimpleChimp]

Best way to cope with death is as follows:

Don't give a fuck.

really constructive, well done.

Actually that is my best friends tactic to death. He simply doesn't care because he realises things die.

It's very buddhist.

When his dog died he said, well i can allways just get another one.

 

[Dr.Poisonfreak]

BAM! and the post is gone!

fair point, i mean animals to a point you can have that attitude towards, but with humans it can be a bit different.

Spoiler

also it has been bought to my attention that christ rapping black metal i nothing more than a common troll

 

[Booze Zombie]

It kinda just happens, gotta move on, corny as it sounds.

 

[Marv21]

Best way to cope with death is as follows:

Don't give a fuck.

Well thats certainly a way of coping!

But I have the tendency to believe that dreams are the key to understanding why you miss them so, when I have troubles I dream and break them down to understand them and myself and my anxieties...so be sure to think about him while going to sleep and dream about them...sometimes its like they never really died if they are in your dream, maybe its their way of coming back into this earth.

 

[The_ModeRazor]

You just gotta learn to accept it, since you can't do anything about it.

 

[SimpleChimp]

I know about accepting it. And moving on.

I am worried about my lack of emotion, but more so about my brother.

It's like i know i should feel. I know i should think about it, but i dont.

I also know i should be sympathetic, but i can't be.

And i see my brother and i know he is truly torn up about it, but i can't talk to him.

Because i am in a state where their is no true emotion, only could analysis.

 

[LooK iTz Jinjo]

Alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol. Doesn't help, it's just what I do.

 

[MassiveGeek]

I've had 3 mice.
Two died of cancer.
And one from a broken back. All death's were really horrible, especially since I was just a kid, I was really sad over it.

I simply shared my sadness with people I could rely on, and as time passed, the sadness went away.

Two people in my line of relatives have died during my lifetime, one was my great grandma', she died by age(she was 96 years old when she died), and my grandma's brother died of alzheimers.
I didnt mourn those deaths to long. First becuse if you live for so long, you're done with your life, and it was good that she didnt have to suffer through more years, as she was already senile and unable to dress herself, also she dies in her sleep, so it wasnt painful.
And alzheimers is horrible, so I was relieved he didnt have to suffer for to long, and especially for hes wife, whom he in the end barely remembered.

"Tiden läker alla sår" as you sometimes say in swedish, which means something like "in time all wounds will heal" or "time heals all wounds". Thats my advice.

 

[Bealzibob]

When my cousin died at the old age of 12 I didn't feel anything like you currently are and beside 2 short moments in my life I have never really felt sad about it, however I do think that it has made me a little emotionally numb. But I think you may never feel sad about his passing, maybe try going to his funeral with you brother (If he is going), that way you can comfort him if you can and maybe mourn him like you feel you ought too.

 

[Sh0ckFyre]

Keep yourself as happy as possible and do as many things as you can to get your mind off of it.

 

[Xaositect]

I think the best way is to find your own way to cope with it. When a really bad death fucks up your life, all these "good ways" of coping turn out to be complete bullshit.

 

[Crowser]

Talk about it with your brother. I don't care if he doesn't want to hear it, I don't care if you don't want to say it, just talk until you physically cannot any more. A festering, empty but closed wound is much worse in the long run then a clean, painful but open one. You will get past it only when you accept it, and understanding is the path to acceptance. Drag your brother along for the ride.

 

[Cid Silverwing]

Best way to cope with death is as follows:

Don't give a fuck.

Worst... Ever...

My advice: Don't pray, don't hope. Just take your mind off of it and try to forget about it. The less you dwell on it the better you will fare.