Craziest/ supidest theories you have ever heard

[chadachada123]

I've heard people say that Ron Paul is not the best candidate for Presidency currently. I have a hard time understanding some people.

Creationism in general is crazy; the idea that the world is some arbitrary number of years old and was created to look as if it's billions of years old, yet being dismissive of the idea that we all live in the Matrix or that the world was created a mere 5 minutes ago.

Edit: I realize the humor in supporting Ron Paul while bashing creationism as crazy, but I stand by it, dammit.

 

[Shakomaru]

People who don't know what a scientific theory is, the tebow stuff, and timecube because I don't even.

 

[Jinxzy]

That some people believe that dinosaurs never existed.

 

[ChildofGallifrey]

So recently here in good ol, America people have been theorizing that Tim Tebow,  an American football star who is devoutly religious, is the second coming of Christ, literally.

If Tebow was the Second Coming one would think he'd be able to complete more than 46% of his passes. I still hope they can pull off a miracle against New England this week.

 

[Pargencia]

Do unreadable theories count? I would then suggest the timecube http://www.timecube.com/ You lose IQ from just trying to understand .

Loading Advanced Decryption Algorithms, please wait...

Subject found to be a mixture of Meme Study, Nonexistential BS, and Advanced Calculus as Taught by a Five-Year Old. Subject appears to write about personal beliefs about religion, the space-time continuum, and future events, but has little no no concept of proper grammar or sentence structure. At several points, Subject adamantly refuses to use of the several hundred thousand words in the English language, preferring to use his/her own concoctions of words to convey his/her meaning.

The result is quite predictable: a nonsensical hodgepodge of droll that continues on for far longer than this particular scientist cares to read. I personally recommend several years of remedial English, followed by a rewrite of the "Time Cube Theory" by the original author, so that some person other than him/her could understand it. Pending re-evaluation of the readable Theory, I will most likely recommend psychiatric counseling as well.

~Dr. Pargencia

 

[Victor Kwak]

There are lot of atheists on these forums... All these comments about religion and not a single "But God is real!" comment. Love it. We need to get rid of all religions of the world. I want my children to grow up in a world that's not stupid.

 

[Trippy Turtle]

the idea of an invisible man in the clouds that can see everything and everyone at all times, that created all that is. thats pretty batshit bonkers to me! ^_^

You're probably too into your "insufferable atheist" stage of atheism to notice BUT, the long, drawn-out analogy you are using to express that you are talking about god has been used to death. Find a new gimmick.

No offense but Theists need to get something better then "You can't disprove it" as well.

OT: Pretty much everything that people say without even a tiny bit of proof. Whether it be 2012 or religion it just gets people worked up for no reason. Seriously next time something like the end of the world doesn't happen we all should get to slap whoever decided it would.

 

[hiratchi]

I heard that the 9/11 was actually a missile attack that was made by the American government which is secretly being controlled by the Illuminati so that they would have a reason to make an attack on the middle east because the Illuminati are also Nazi's. on the same youtube channel they also said that Britney Spears, Marilyn Monroe, Katie Perry, Robyn "Rihanna" Fenty and many other famous celebrities such as the pussy cat dolls are all "sex kittens" programmed as part of a secret Illuminati plot to train the new generation to become mindless sex slaves. Along with many others.

Here's the link:
http://www.youtube.com/user/TruthIncSB?blend=1&ob=video-mustangbase

 

[uzo]

The idea that the US Government planned 9/11. *snip* How can you believe your country is that unabashedly evil and not do something about it?

lol Beautiful.

I think you nailed it right there for me.

A pack of know-it-alls standing around screaming blue murder ... but without the gumption to do anything about it except whine.

Seriously ... if the US Govt was behind the attacks, and you actually believed it ... WTF would you still be doing there, living under the Dark Tyrants, in the shadow of their Insidious Plans .. ?? Fucking hypocrites. They point and scream that everyone ELSE is a sheep and blindly follows the Man. Yeah? Well, shit. These guys apparently KNOW the Man is out to get them and still do sweet fuck all about it.

The lamb to slaughter at least doesn't KNOW we are going to slit his throat and feast on his flesh, along with the flesh of his entire species. And if it did, and just bleated away about it -- we would still kill and eat it. We'd just remark it was a bit noisier than the others when it died.

 

[Elementary - Dear Watson]

This! Just type Pirates Global Warming into google, and you will see! Its pretty funny stuff! Although I think it was started as a mickey take though!

 

[-Dragmire-]

Ancient Aliens.

JFK was brought down by the mafia.

Bush knew about 911.

And thanks to you guys, Time Cube. Seriously. Wat?

Hey, Ancient Aliens is my favorite comedy show that happens to be on the History Channel!

... I just opened the Time Cube page and now my brain hurts.

 

[Elementary - Dear Watson]

I heard that the 9/11 was actually a missile attack that was made by the American government which is secretly being controlled by the Illuminati so that they would have a reason to make an attack on the middle east because the Illuminati are also Nazi's. on the same youtube channel they also said that Britney Spears, Marilyn Monroe, Katie Perry, Robyn "Rihanna" Fenty and many other famous celebrities such as the pussy cat dolls are all "sex kittens" programmed as part of a secret Illuminati plot to train the new generation to become mindless sex slaves. Along with many others.

Here's the link:
http://www.youtube.com/user/TruthIncSB?blend=1&ob=video-mustangbase

The thing with government conspiracy theories is that they all presume 2 things...

1) That the government is competent enough to actually pull a move like that off.

2) The government could actually keep a secret like that... Hell, you'd think that at least one of the cables lost in the wikileaks shambles would have alluded to it? Or wait, is Wikileaks all part of the government plan to keep us off of the scent...? And Bradley Manning didn't steal secrets, he actually just found out the conspiracy, and is now being punished... :O I think I am onto something here... (/Sarcasm for those who couldn't tell!)

 

[OldNewNewOld]

http://theflatearthsociety.org/cms/

'Nuff said.
Seriously, they think that the Earth is flat and that the round Earth is a conspiracy from Nasa because they where wrong, but used to much money and they can't admit it now.

Just reading several theories on that site will give you enough joke material for your whole life.

 

[Astoria]

That guy can't be Jesus! My friend and I realised that Rob Zombie is Jesus during philosophy. I have no idea how we came to that conclusion but it made sense at the time. Anyway, I find Scientology to be absolutely ridiculous. It sounds like it was made up by a 5 year old.

 

[crazyarms33]

I have 3 and they are as follows:
1.) Holocaust Deniers
2.) The government planned 9/11
3.) The Mayan 2012 prophecy.

Though the mayan prophecy is listed last, I think thats the one that annoys me the most. Rational, intelligent, and mature friends of mine actually believe in this and it floors me. I think they just couldn't be bothered to carve more than 2,000 years ahead. I imagine it went something like this

Man chiseling calendar onto rock drops his chisel. His friend looks at him and says "You gonna pick that up and start on 2013?" The chisler glares at him and says "Now just why the fuck would I do that?" and proceeds to go partake in a ritual sacrifice.

 

[Noala]

I don't care if it's a joke, this one definately takes the cake for me:

- Omni ^_^

I KNEW IT!

Craziest theory I've heard: (in-game not sure if it counts but still so crazy its worth a mention) The colour blue will make the world a better and happier place.
Craziest non-game theory: Heavy metal will turn people into kitten eating baby sacrificing satanists...

 

[crazyarms33]

Does "God and Jesus hate fags" Count as a theory?

I guess so, I mean they are bad for your health after all.

Spoiler

I burst out laughing when I saw this! Plus 16 internets for you good sir!

 

[Xan Krieger]

There are lot of atheists on these forums... All these comments about religion and not a single "But God is real!" comment. Love it. We need to get rid of all religions of the world. I want my children to grow up in a world that's not stupid.

Wow condescending much? You're as bad as the religious people who say atheists are immoral and evil.

OT: Time cube gets my vote.

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

Craziest non-game theory: Heavy metal will turn people into kitten eating baby sacrificing satanists...

That's just silly. I don't eat kittens.

- Omni ^_^

 

[Noala]

Craziest non-game theory: Heavy metal will turn people into kitten eating baby sacrificing satanists...

That's just silly. I don't eat kittens.

- Omni ^_^

Yes we all know puppies are much healthier