Crazy Girlfriend/Boyfriend stories anyone?

[Joshic Shin]

Oh, I have so many stories I could tell, but the best ones would get me in trouble. To compensate I will instead tell one of my favorites.

So, a few years back I was a junior in High School and hooked up with a girl that was from Switzerland. We met when I hit her in the head with a chair in Orchestra. I quickly apologized and gave her candy saying, "I often do stupid things. These are like my form of band-aids." That was how we began to talk more often.

That, however, is not the story. The story involves our first date. You see, when we went out I was quite broke and could only afford taking her out to a movie and picking up some sandwiches from a local Subway. I ordered my usual, a meatball marinara, and she decided to go a more vegetarian route. So, she ordered a Veggie Sandwich.

Now, to understand why this is funny, you have to realize two things. One, she spoke German as her first language, and two, the Germans pronunciation of "V" and "W" are switched around from the English perspective.

That's right. When she read "veggie" she said, "I would like a wedgie."

I could not stop myself from laughing. Hard. Loudly.

I then said, "You don't want that." "No," she said back to me, "I want a wedgie sandwich."

I had to calm myself down and tell her that, "No, you don't understand. What you are asking this man to do is come around this counter, grab you by your panties, and reach as high as he can to the sky. You mean veggie dear."

Somehow, we had many dates after that (we are broken up now though) but I will never forget that classic misunderstanding.

 

[Dags90]

Oddly, Jamie and Gav are now dating. THAT pissed the sister right the fuck off, lemme tell ya. haha

That sounds like the plot of one of those terrible made-for-gays movies like Eating Out.

 

[ReservoirAngel]

Oddly, Jamie and Gav are now dating. THAT pissed the sister right the fuck off, lemme tell ya. haha

That sounds like the plot of one of those terrible made-for-gays movies like Eating Out.

I'll have to take your word for it. I've not seen many made-for-gays movies.

Beyond that...what can I say? My life and the people in it are fucking weird.

 

[Tonythion]

I have one that's more funny than horrible in terms of what the girl did.

Friend of mine called Jamie was dating the younger sister of his best friend Gav. So one day, Jamie and Gav's sister are fooling around, when she decided it'd be kinky to do it on Gav's bed. Jamie was too horny to argue, so he followed her in there...

...she handcuffed him naked to Gav's bed and walked out. When Gav got home she told him that Jamie wanted to see him and was waiting in his room. Sitcom-style hilarity ensued.

Oddly, Jamie and Gav are now dating. THAT pissed the sister right the fuck off, lemme tell ya. haha

Oh gee-zuz! That was horrible! Horribly funny. That plan sure backfired on her she must have been raging when she found out haha.

 

[googleboy]

To lay a little groundwork, my boyfriends birthday is January, Valentine's Day is obviously February and our anniversary is March. So, for 'small' anniversaries we agree not to get each other anything. So, it's our third anniversary and we've gotten together to kind-of-sort-of-celebrate. I of course broke the rule and got him something. Well, no harm no foul, he got me something too. So we exchanged little gifts and then BAM! I got blindsided by a five day argument because my gift was too extravagant!!

We literally did nothing but fight for five days afterwards because of this. I consider that pretty crazy.

 

[Ladette]

My only boyfriend became depressed after I dumped him and started dating girls. He blamed himself for me "changing" and went seriously emo for the rest of his high school career.

I had one girlfriend when I first got to college who was sleeping with her half brother. I broke that one off when I found out.

I also had a girlfriend who claimed that I made her family hate her and ruined her life by dating her. I'm still trying to figure that one out.


On further evaluation most of my "significant others" had serious issues.

 

[ReservoirAngel]

I have one that's more funny than horrible in terms of what the girl did.

Friend of mine called Jamie was dating the younger sister of his best friend Gav. So one day, Jamie and Gav's sister are fooling around, when she decided it'd be kinky to do it on Gav's bed. Jamie was too horny to argue, so he followed her in there...

...she handcuffed him naked to Gav's bed and walked out. When Gav got home she told him that Jamie wanted to see him and was waiting in his room. Sitcom-style hilarity ensued.

Oddly, Jamie and Gav are now dating. THAT pissed the sister right the fuck off, lemme tell ya. haha

Oh gee-zuz! That was horrible! Horribly funny. That plan sure backfired on her she must have been raging when she found out haha.

Yeah. She's like the local in-joke in and of herself. Everything she does seems to end up backfiring horribly on her. It's glorious.

Like when she tried to spite me by breaking me and Jordan up and wound up looking like a professional whore in front of her friends. That was a good weekend. haha

 

[LunaSocks]

Three weeks ago. I went on a date with my girlfriend (Our LAST date, I should add.). I took her to a movie (Tron Evolution was still going in our town, surprisingly), and she went off to use the bathroom. Her phone started going off, and she had forgotten to turn its sound off. I picked it up, and saw it was an alarm. I checked to see what it was, and it was an hourly alarm. TO CALL ME. I asked her about this, and she got all defensive about her obsessiveness, and that's when we broke up.

 

[Tonythion]

Yeah. She's like the local in-joke in and of herself. Everything she does seems to end up backfiring horribly on her. It's glorious.

Like when she tried to spite me by breaking me and Jordan up and wound up looking like a professional whore in front of her friends. That was a good weekend. haha

lmao sounds like a great weekend. Have someone as crazy as that being made fun of. Divine retribution.

 

[ReservoirAngel]

Yeah. She's like the local in-joke in and of herself. Everything she does seems to end up backfiring horribly on her. It's glorious.

Like when she tried to spite me by breaking me and Jordan up and wound up looking like a professional whore in front of her friends. That was a good weekend. haha

lmao sounds like a great weekend. Have someone as crazy as that being made fun of. Divine retribution.

She's not my girlfriend so I don't wanna clog up this thread with stories of her fails, but if you want me to expand upon her repeated failures (or those of other people in my life, they all have lots of them), I'd be happy to over pm. I never tire of telling stories like this.

 

[Smooth Operator]

Well if I put the general female craziness and their devotion to the teaching of non-logic I really haven't got many stories.

There was one girl who flirted with my friends when she was mad at me for something... ya that was a wack job, then days later she would explode in a hailstorm of fury as I didn't manage to make right the thing she didn't tell me was wrong...

Then there was one who picked fights when she was bored, and not just with me, her family and friends got the same sort of treatment.
She would just accuse people of something and as they defended themselves she would just go ape shit over everything, and I wasn't just lashed for my mistakes I also had to answer for her past boyfriends, because clearly are guys are the same...

And I'll add one of my friends gf, before they got together she was just the sweetest thing imaginable, you spent 5 minutes with that girl and you were floating on air.
But when they got together the horns came out, it's like Beelzebub himself took her over, she became the bitchiest, meanest, foul tongued creature to ever crawl the earth.
And her life goal seems to be grinding her partner into mush with nothing but words, every word he speaks and everything he ever does is turned against him to tear him apart.
And I'm not writing his words, he doesn't even bloody see it, his eyes just turned blank and he will maintain howmuch they love eachother...

 

[MikeBrownYo]

First post ever:
I had/have been kind of on and off with this girl for almost a year now. When we first hung out she was always saying things like "I like you. I'm just worried you're going to end up with your ex again and I'll get hurt." Because she and I started talking very shortly after my ex and I broke up. I was kind of feeling her, and then I found out I was just one of a few dudes she was banging (Including one dude I play DnD with.)

So I backed up a bit and we didn't talk much. We'd hang out once every month or so, but I always kept walls built between us so I didn't get burned. Before too long, I started to trust her again and we started hanging out more and more. One night she tells me that she is coming to the night club I work at to see me. I get her and her friends for free and we talk a bit. Later on, I see her sitting on the lap of/making out with one of the guys she rolled in with. I walk up to her and basically tell her that I know she isn't committed to me in any way, but picking up dudes at the bar I work at is a dick move. She spends literally the ENTIRE night following me around the club crying and trying to talk to me as I just kept trying to avoid her.

Eventually that all got sorted out as best it could and we start hanging out again. I was going for a 2 week vacation to Melbourne and right before I left, she told me she wanted to be my "official" girlfriend and I told her I liked her, but I wanted to take it slow so I could regain the trust that had been lost after all this shit happened. She tells me that wasn't good enough and we weren't going to hang out anymore. I'm bummed, but decide to let it go.

Then when I get to Australia she tells me via Facebook that she wasn't serious when she said she didn't want to see me anymore and she was still into me, blah blah blah. I leave it at "We'll talk when I am home." The next time I talk to her, she tells me that she is going to sleep with other dudes while I am gone because I can't expect her to commit to me when I am not ready to commit to her. I tell her I think that is fair and decide we'll talk when I get home in a few weeks. THEN I talk to her THE NEXT DAY and she tells me she has to tell me some bad news and that I am going to be hurt. I ask her what it was and she tells me she would tell me on Tuesday (This was on Saturday.)

Tuesday comes along and she doesn't contact me. I message her on Facebook and she doesn't reply. I tried to message her a few more times while in Melbourne and she ignores them all. When I get home I text her and try to Facebook her and she doesn't reply again. I message her saying that if she didn't get back to me by the next day I was just going to delete her off Facebook and continue on with life. She ignores it and I delete her.

A month or 2 later I see her at the club I work at again and I tell her I am not mad, but I wanted an explanation of what happened. She tells me that she started seeing her ex again, but it didn't work out and she missed me. Then she spent the rest of the night trying to kiss me and I spent the rest of the night avoiding her.

Also, she had this weird obsession with doing it in public places and would give me dome any time I drove anywhere that part was cool.

Sorry, that was a stupid long story and it isn't that interesting.

 

[Gaiseric]

snip.

Hell no dude that was very interesting!
Unfortunately(or fortunately?) I have no stories to contribute myself.

 

[ChicagoTed]

Some girl I was going out with a while back with prehaps the most batshit insane family I have ever met in my life so let me elaborate. Before we started going out she seemd normal if not a little self absorbed but about a month or so after we started going out that's when things started popping up, while I knew her step dad was a drinker I didn't know it was this bad. One night we got back to her place after going to the movies we walk through into the living room and there he was sprawled on the sofa with beer cans crushed and thrown all over the place and the only thing on the tv was a blue screen, at that point I just looked at her and said we should watch tv upstairs. Now onto her mother.

The night I spent over her house that new years gave me more clues I should gtfo of dodge was when we were all in the living room, nothing particularly exciting was happening then out of nowhere her mother who was sitting on the floor at the time looked over and decided to smell my feet, while she made no comment I was just thinking to myself what the hell just happend right now while my ex was in a huge fit of laughter. But now is the best part.

On a night I was out with my ex she was acting rather strange but I didn't think anything of it since she was talking just fine but her attention seemed place everywhere else. As conversation progressed she was telling me about her dad (not step dad) now I had met this guy before and he was a really nice guy he was re married and had the two most adorable kids you would have ever seen. Well she was telling me that she never got on with him as a kid and one day after a huge argument she decided to throw a firework under his bloody car! The next day I asked her why she decided to tell me that and she told me straight up she has stolen some of her managers pain medication and took them while she was at work.

Needless to say we wern't together very long and after we broke up I found out from a friend of hers that her step dad was an alcoholic, her mother was suffering from deppresion and she was a bloody schizophrenic. I can safely say i've dodged a huge bullet with this one.

 

[MasterChief892039]

I had one really clingy boyfriend back in highschool, though that "relationship" was short lived.

We had only been going out for a couple of days when he whipped out the L-word, and although I know that's probably fairly standard for a high school relationship, I still felt that was way too soon. The added irony was that he said, "I love you, Kiersten", when my name is actually "Kristin"... Yes. That's true love right there.

Four days into the relationship he started telling that he heard my family was rich and he wanted presents from me, like fancy shirts and stuff. He wasn't kidding, he really wanted me to buy him a bunch of stuff like some sort of teenage sugar mama.

I finally broke up with him around day seven (a very awkward breakup. It took an hour to convince him it was actually over and we weren't just "on a break"), and in the month following the breakup, he sent me texts telling me he was going to egg my house, asking me what I wanted for Christmas, and sending me song lyrics he had written about me. All this despite having gotten a new girlfriend within days of me breaking up with him.

High school, man. Weird shit.

 

[SckizoBoy]

Crazy stories... not really, fucked up, maybe...

I'm schizophrenic, major depressive and have schizoid personality disorder (overlapping symptoms with schizophrenia, so the psychs decided to diagnose both until they truly twigged what I have)...

First relationship (and bear in mind I was eleven when we started going out, she was twelve)
Part 1: her brother was the biggest racist ever, to put it politely, but she was very nice and kept him well out of things. However, things naturally came to a head, we got into a massive fight and he beat the shit out of me (three years older, what can you do?). He was censured for it and we never saw each other since.

Part 2: I was going through one of my manic phases (the worst one I went through as it happens) in a park and afterwards found out I was seemingly threatening her, not realising that we were edging towards the high road (we were chatting while lazying about in the park, we had separated into couples and there were a few other friends about). Apparently, it looked as though I was about to hit her, she grabbed onto me... and somehow I pushed her onto an oncoming car. Date: February 12th (died two days later, aged 16)

I went from manic depressive to major depressive, met my next girlfriend (who is a manic depressive) at therapy.

PS my hands are shaking and it took me about 15 mins to write this... I still love you Annie and I'm better now.

 

[JezebelinHell]

"It was making a weird pattern on the toast."

LOL! He would love my Hello Kitty one, it toasts her face on the bread. However, I would have to hurt him if he took it apart.

 

[irani_che]

I attract the crazy girls like a pheremone or something.
earlier GF, I was gonna leave for uni, she was really really upset. One time, a simple arguement quickly boiled over and she tried to stab me. We actually did not break up over this, in the end a faked suicide attempt made me go OH FOR FUCKS SAKE.

Then, there was the one with unstably bad daddy issues

Then there was this girl, lovely sweet thing. Only problem was she had this ex-boyfreind who she kept around as, just a freind. You know how a girl does that and uses you and in the end u feel like a chump.
Well, this guy was a Skin-head. Known in the Neo-Nazi Skinhead community as having anger management issues, and they know anger. Anyway, imagine what he was like when his gf was going out with an Iranian guy.

Anyway, fast forward to present, you know the first girl I mentioned, Im going out with her freind