Yes, that one game. Can you recall it? Probably not. In the sweep of games that are, you know, notable and worthwhile (MGS4, GTAIV, Brawl, etc.), Crysis is forgotten.
Well, with good reason.
I'll make this brief; Crysis is your usual first person shooter. It gives you an unrealistic skew on guns, unresponsive and unintelligent AI, unremarkable storyline. But what's Crysis' catch? If the game weren't easy enough, those bad boys at Crytek throw you a nanotechnological mess of prototype armor and expect you to take on a few regiments of North Koreans. Sounds good, right?
Well, 'course it does. Synopses always do.
But, with many overconfident games like Oblivion (6/10) and MGS4, it struggles to do too much. Struggles, and fails in the end.
Allow me to provide you an example; the AI, on the hardest difficulty. In an attempt to make the NPCs 'realistic', Crytek thought it'd be great to make them, you know, totally irrational. Because that'd throw players off, right? Well... not quite the case. All of the time, you will see bad guys throwing grenades from five feet away, running over allies in vehicles (bad scripting most of the time), acting completely unperturbed by piles of corpses, and, oh yeah- never taking cover. Ever. Instead, the AI is basically a bundle of completely random actions. "What? I'm under fire? Why, I'll leap over this nearby fence and find myself in a field desolate of cover! Great idea!"
But I guess this can be explained, right? "Nanotechnology! You're so good, everyone should therefore suck!" Except... well, the North Koreans use nanotechnology also. Huh. Yet seeing someone else prance around in nano-tights completely flabberghasts them.
But the suit, the suit. Oh the suit. Absolutely flawed. For one, in normal-human mode, you have the AWESOME UNEXPLAINED ABILITY to grab people by the throat and carry or throw them around.
Right. Can you see an SAS guy just lifting a six-foot-tall two-hundredy-fifty pound guy with more than fifty pounds of gear in the air- with ONE hand, which happens to be the LEFT one?
Yeah, so you have four basic modes. Armor, speed, strength, and cloak. Armor is the default. The rest are basically tacked on to give a point to the inclusion of nanotechnology in the story at all. Oh, right, and to explain how the player can magically regenerate health after falling off a sixty metre cliff. The only time strength is ever purposely used is when you're faced by obvious and mandatory terraces which you must scale. Oh, don't worry. A little prompt will appear to comfortingly assure you that yes, that mean terrace over there isn't too tall for you.
Then there is cloak. Or maybe I should say godmode. Throw it on, and you become completely invisible. Your enemies will stare into the space ten feet away that was once you, then go about patrolling. Amazing, right? And broken!
What else now? Oh, right right. Multiplayer. You have deathmatch, which is actually enjoyable seeing as you're up against actual people as opposed to three lines of incoherent code, and then you have power struggle, where your team struggles (hur hur) to recapture key locations to nuke each other to atoms. Oh, wait, that's all completely nullified seeing as 70% of all players hack. There is zero hacking prevention, so most of the time you spawn only to be frozen solid and beaten to pieces at some nerd's leisure.
Hm, vehicles. Okay, so, apparently by shooting a car door I can cause it to explode. Also by falling ten feet in a reinfornced humvee will cause it do explode. Armored tanks are- who would've guessed- instantly destroyed by twenty-year-old greandes and small packages of low-grade C4.
Oh, right, storyline. Yeah so you and your super duper cool American pals go off to save some random scientists or archaeologists or whatever from an island the Koreans felt like sitting around in. You've got your macho-veteran-token-black-guy-that-everyone-loves-for-being-awesome, you've got smartass-British-guy-who-likes-to-hit-on-Asians, and then two other guys who just die meaninglessly for the sake of making the player tense. Zero character development.Then suddenly, aliens. What a twist! Oh, wait, not really- seeing as there are aliens RIGHT ON THE FUCKING BACK COVER. Way to throw away your only interesting plot string. No, really, good job.
Graphics and sound. If you're packing over $700 of hardware and feel like putting it to use, well go ahead, and be blown away by the graphics that... aren't what everyone claims them to be. But hey, who cares right, I mean shit man I can see the pockmarks in everyone's face, that's all I need in a game. Well the Koreans sound like white guys with nasal infections, the black guy sounds like Crytek's low audio budget, and the girl sounds completely emotionless. Oh, the Brit sounds like a Brit. Good for him.
So, long story short. Crysis. Worth the buy? Nah, unless you hate yourself, the free-market economy, and Koreans. Worth the play so I could become wiser with my money? Sure, but I regret it all the same.
Moral? Don't buy this game. Go hang with friends at the beach, and afterward find some babes to party with. Congratulations, you have now had more fun in three-four hours than this game will give you in SIX LIFETIMES. And also, in BETTER GRAPHICS. Amazing right?
5/10.
Well, with good reason.
I'll make this brief; Crysis is your usual first person shooter. It gives you an unrealistic skew on guns, unresponsive and unintelligent AI, unremarkable storyline. But what's Crysis' catch? If the game weren't easy enough, those bad boys at Crytek throw you a nanotechnological mess of prototype armor and expect you to take on a few regiments of North Koreans. Sounds good, right?
Well, 'course it does. Synopses always do.
But, with many overconfident games like Oblivion (6/10) and MGS4, it struggles to do too much. Struggles, and fails in the end.
Allow me to provide you an example; the AI, on the hardest difficulty. In an attempt to make the NPCs 'realistic', Crytek thought it'd be great to make them, you know, totally irrational. Because that'd throw players off, right? Well... not quite the case. All of the time, you will see bad guys throwing grenades from five feet away, running over allies in vehicles (bad scripting most of the time), acting completely unperturbed by piles of corpses, and, oh yeah- never taking cover. Ever. Instead, the AI is basically a bundle of completely random actions. "What? I'm under fire? Why, I'll leap over this nearby fence and find myself in a field desolate of cover! Great idea!"
But I guess this can be explained, right? "Nanotechnology! You're so good, everyone should therefore suck!" Except... well, the North Koreans use nanotechnology also. Huh. Yet seeing someone else prance around in nano-tights completely flabberghasts them.
But the suit, the suit. Oh the suit. Absolutely flawed. For one, in normal-human mode, you have the AWESOME UNEXPLAINED ABILITY to grab people by the throat and carry or throw them around.
Right. Can you see an SAS guy just lifting a six-foot-tall two-hundredy-fifty pound guy with more than fifty pounds of gear in the air- with ONE hand, which happens to be the LEFT one?
Yeah, so you have four basic modes. Armor, speed, strength, and cloak. Armor is the default. The rest are basically tacked on to give a point to the inclusion of nanotechnology in the story at all. Oh, right, and to explain how the player can magically regenerate health after falling off a sixty metre cliff. The only time strength is ever purposely used is when you're faced by obvious and mandatory terraces which you must scale. Oh, don't worry. A little prompt will appear to comfortingly assure you that yes, that mean terrace over there isn't too tall for you.
Then there is cloak. Or maybe I should say godmode. Throw it on, and you become completely invisible. Your enemies will stare into the space ten feet away that was once you, then go about patrolling. Amazing, right? And broken!
What else now? Oh, right right. Multiplayer. You have deathmatch, which is actually enjoyable seeing as you're up against actual people as opposed to three lines of incoherent code, and then you have power struggle, where your team struggles (hur hur) to recapture key locations to nuke each other to atoms. Oh, wait, that's all completely nullified seeing as 70% of all players hack. There is zero hacking prevention, so most of the time you spawn only to be frozen solid and beaten to pieces at some nerd's leisure.
Hm, vehicles. Okay, so, apparently by shooting a car door I can cause it to explode. Also by falling ten feet in a reinfornced humvee will cause it do explode. Armored tanks are- who would've guessed- instantly destroyed by twenty-year-old greandes and small packages of low-grade C4.
Oh, right, storyline. Yeah so you and your super duper cool American pals go off to save some random scientists or archaeologists or whatever from an island the Koreans felt like sitting around in. You've got your macho-veteran-token-black-guy-that-everyone-loves-for-being-awesome, you've got smartass-British-guy-who-likes-to-hit-on-Asians, and then two other guys who just die meaninglessly for the sake of making the player tense. Zero character development.Then suddenly, aliens. What a twist! Oh, wait, not really- seeing as there are aliens RIGHT ON THE FUCKING BACK COVER. Way to throw away your only interesting plot string. No, really, good job.
Graphics and sound. If you're packing over $700 of hardware and feel like putting it to use, well go ahead, and be blown away by the graphics that... aren't what everyone claims them to be. But hey, who cares right, I mean shit man I can see the pockmarks in everyone's face, that's all I need in a game. Well the Koreans sound like white guys with nasal infections, the black guy sounds like Crytek's low audio budget, and the girl sounds completely emotionless. Oh, the Brit sounds like a Brit. Good for him.
So, long story short. Crysis. Worth the buy? Nah, unless you hate yourself, the free-market economy, and Koreans. Worth the play so I could become wiser with my money? Sure, but I regret it all the same.
Moral? Don't buy this game. Go hang with friends at the beach, and afterward find some babes to party with. Congratulations, you have now had more fun in three-four hours than this game will give you in SIX LIFETIMES. And also, in BETTER GRAPHICS. Amazing right?
5/10.
