Dates And Bragging

[PBMcNair]

I have a bad habit of filling awkward silences with talk

Things aren't much better on the other end of the spectrum. Outside of the aftermaths of some disagreements with friends, I can't remember being in what I would consider an awkward silence. Others have found it awkward, and my continued silence weird, but I'm perfectly content to sit for hours without speaking.
Makes meeting people tricky.

 

[LiberalSquirrel]

Odds are, out in a game shop or book store implies at least some commonality, some kind of jumping off point for a conversation. I used to like bars but now I realise the only thing I have in common with any girl I meet their is drinking and preferring not to go home alone. Not the basis for a healthy relationship. I think I'm growing as a person.

That's fair, I suppose. Call me an optimist, though (or just someone who has experienced strange conversations evolving from fairly innocuous topics) but I'm a firm believer in "you never know when you may have something in common with someone." For every "You're trying to read more comics? Right..." encounter I've had, I've had at least one that ended in a spontaneous Doctor Horrible karaoke session.

But hey, I was an English major. Far be it from me to deny character growth.

 

[Lonewolfm16]

Awww, it's threads like this that remind me, even the people with something enviable (having been on dates, in this case.) have stuff that sucks... like terrible dates. We are all human, and thus all have moderately sucky lives sometimes. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy, to combat the cold loneliness. Faux cynicism aside, I don't get why people lie on dates. Lets face it, if things go well your lies are likely to be found out. Just present yourself as the person you are, because if that isn't good enough you are going to need to keep the facade up for a very very long time.

 

[Fox12]

Holy cow. I can't say I've ever dated anyone like that, but I did have a friend who was similar to that in high school. He was always bragging about how great he was at stuff, or claiming to know so much about a subject. It was funny when he would start talking about something I was actually knowledgeable about, because I realized he didn't actually know much about anything at all. The sad part was that he really seemed to believe he knew all these things, and he could never admit he was wrong. He was the kind of guy who believed Obama was a secret Muslim terrorist.

He only had one relationship I can think of, and to my surprise the girl was actually incredibly attractive. She broke up with him after he tried to make out with her in his moms car... while his mom sat and watched in the front seat. With a video camera.

Needless to say, we didn't remain friends very long. I know I'm making fun of the guy, but he was a massive jerk to everyone around him, so don't feel too bad. Every bad thing that ever happened to him was his own fault. He was definitely one of the stranger individuals I've met.

 

[Bomberman4000]

I've been on a date where the girl was trying to impress me in much the same fashion in the original post. She told me about all of these skills she had and talents that were "unrecognized by the masses" (I'll never forget that line.)


I then caught her off guard by asking her (more like, "rudely interrupted her" now that I think back) what she's bad at. What was she insecure about? What were her fears? That conversation was less lengthy because people are generally less willing to confess such things so early, but I felt like in those moments I got to know the real her. She then told me she wanted to impress me because she saw a show I did one time (college theater) and thought I had all these remarkable talents. It was fun to demonstrate just how wrong she was on some of them (she assumed I was a good artist and I can't draw for shit). We then started finding things we were both good at and enjoyed, and actually created about an 18 month relationship out of it. One of the best relationships I've ever had.

People always have their guard up on dates early on, especially first dates. I think people would rather talk too much and too extravagantly than run the risk of being remembered as boring. Boring is the worst.

 

[WhyWasThat]

Awww, it's threads like this that remind me, even the people with something enviable (having been on dates, in this case.) have stuff that sucks... like terrible dates. We are all human, and thus all have moderately sucky lives sometimes. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy, to combat the cold loneliness. Faux cynicism aside, I don't get why people lie on dates. Lets face it, if things go well your lies are likely to be found out. Just present yourself as the person you are, because if that isn't good enough you are going to need to keep the facade up for a very very long time.

Hey! We're in the same boat, you and I! A boat of loneliness, perpetually lost at sea...

Nah, seriously though I've been on nary a date in my life too.

 

[The Wykydtron]

However I would have to ask whether they had ever played Persona 4 at some point, she says no and I would end up silently resenting her forever.

Wykydtron: "Do you play Persona 4?"
Date: "No, sounds stupid"
Wykydtron: *flips table and storms out*

Damn straight. Naturally, if she says yes, I would also be prepared with some follow-up questions such as:

Who is your favourite character? (Answer: Naoto, will also accept Yosuke and Chie)

What was the name of the final boss? (to assess if they got the True Ending)

What did you think of the soundtrack?

And the list continues to #57, i'll shorten it to #10 if I end up with eyes glazed over endlessly nerding out about it. It happens yo'

Of course if she says she never finished it, I would be stuck urgently, passive-aggressively encouraging her to carry on with it while also trying to play it cool.

Obviously my dream girl would be decently attractive, A/B cup breasts (dude it's cute don't judge me,) be able to write an essay on Persona 4, being good (but not too good) at fighting games, understands how to fucking ward in League and wears glasses.

Not that picky right? I don't think so.

 

[maninahat]

I'm kind of an inverse version of that guy - dates/girlfriends will get this initial impression that I am some kind of clever, cool and handsome superman, without any bullshitting or effort on my part. It takes a few months for them to realize I'm actually a dim, anti-social, hairy jerk. I think what happens is that when I'm around new people, I'm shy and I keep my yap shut, which makes me look all collected and sophisticated and shit. The illusion is broken when I come out of my shell and communicate exclusively through movie quotes and annoying noises.

 

[Diddy_Mao]

The closest I can think of was a date I went on when I was 17 or so. The lady was a stage actor and part time film extra.

No harm there really, but every single story she had revolved around her just being in the same area as some C to B list celebrity while theg did or said something funny.

After two dates I realised I knew absolutely nothing about her other than the fact that her personality seemed to hinge on being around other folks who were more interesting.

 

[INF1NIT3 D00M]

Oh yeah, I went on a date with someone I met online once. ONCE.
Never again. I'd rather die alone, at this point.

I've known a few characters like that, they're interesting but quite strange. Can't say I've dated any, but women on dates are not the only targets. I'm pretty sure these types feed on attention, and they're just as desperate to make male friends as they are to get into a female's pants. What really irks me is when they reveal their love of any form of Video Games. Generally, these types are "hardcore into Super Smash Bros." or "a purveyor of japanese romance games". They're the loud, completely socially inept stereotypes that make it feel weird to be a gamer in public. I'll be talking to my Bro Lab Partner, the guy who has only ever played Call of Duty: Black Ops II, when Outcast Guy comes waddling over. I'll be in the middle of recommending things Bro Gamer might enjoy, things that might open his eyes to new experiences and maybe even get him interested in new types of games, and here Outcast Guy is with "OH HAY GUYS! I HEARD YOU TALKING ABOUT GAMES AND NOW I'M GOING TO TELL YOU ALL ABOUT THE TIME I PLAYED ZELDA: WIND WAKER!"
There's also no way to talk to a female about games, lest this guy try to cut in with his 1337 Ski11z. I'll be talking to her, "Oh, you've played the whole Mass Effect Trilogy? That's really great! Did you go Renegade or Paragon? Who'd you leave on Virmire?" and before she can answer, sure enough, Outcast guy hears us from across the room and comes over with "OH HEY! MASS EFFECT!? MAN, THE ASARI ARE SO HOT! HAVE YOU EVER COSPLAYED? YOU SHOULD COSPLAY AS AN ASARI OR FEMSHEP OR SOMETHING!"

Cases like that, I don't even know how to handle them. Conversation's pretty much over at that point. Games are not a topic I'd like to touch with that female again, because I don't want to remind her of this guy, or accidentally bring him back around again. From there, it's damage control. How do you get this guy away from you without being a dick, and with the minimum emotional damage? He's nice, if completely inept. You don't want to hurt him, you might even discuss Zelda with him in a different place and time. But right then and there, you want that guy FAR away from you before he starts telling you about his mother, any weapons or odd collections he may have at home, any anime/manga he likes, or the medical problems of his pets. Many times, this guy becomes a social WMD. As soon as he hits, you're instantly vaporized. She's a shadow on the wall in the best case, and in the worst case, you might have to take the bullet and chat him up so that he doesn't pester her.

I had one guy who managed to do all of this without even directly talking to us, but that's a story for later.

 

[The Wykydtron]

Not that picky right? I don't think so.

Nah man, its k, chicks will flock for you, they find gamers who play games where people become enamored over their virtual girlfriends sexy.

Fuckin' knew it. I knew Atlus was prepping me for real life the moment you start juggling several potential girlfriends at once.

Only a matter of time now... I'll need to research the basic female character archetypes in the meantime in order to prepare for actual conversation with the womenfolk. I might need to carry notes with me at all times for when the inevitable time where a cute girl rounds a corner too fast and bumps into me, starting her romance route from there should only be a few simple conversation choices away.

 

[Blood Brain Barrier]

Another one of my "I went out with a crazy person" stories! Are ya ready kids?! Awesome, here we go.

My latest one was a young man of about 20 years old who asked me to dinner. No problem. So we go out and begin to get to know one another. By "getting to know one another" I actually mean that he was talking and talking, while I sat there listening and smiling. Honestly I don't mind, as listening is a good way to learn about another individual, he was merely making it easier on me (I didn't have to ask any questions, it was glorious).

For a bit of background information on myself, my two main professions are assistant psychologist in training (5 years of education, year in a half of field work), and I am an assistant manager at a deli (I know, amazing, you don't have to remind me /bleh). On the side to pay for all this education I write and draw for various comic series and sell my art at conventions. I state this for a reason.

So as the date continued I realized this kid had to be highly nervous. He stated he had never really been on a date, was a virgin, and only ever had one girlfriend of whom he never had a physical relationship with but he proposed to at 15. So when he started talking about his apparent accomplishments I didn't stop him. Here is a list of apparently what he was a professional at or various other things:

-Professional welder at 20 but unemployed (I don't know how well a welder gets jobs so I can't compare)
-Professional bowler (This was proven false when I suggested bowling, and I'm terrible mind you)
-Professional Knife Thrower
-Professional boxer, but has never been wounded. Apparently his matches were so brutal they were taken off youtube
-Hentai Comic Book Artist. However his art skills were... well he frequently traced (This is not an insult towards those who are learning to draw. Please, keep doing what you're doing. Practice creates skill)
-Apparently he found a customer at his local store who would cut up bodies and throw them in their garbage bin (I know this because he told me very loudly in a barnes and nobles cafe in front of a group of elderly people in grand detail)
-He's going to be a writer (Although the boy has little to know knowledge of basic grammar and writing skills)
-Took 1 class of psychology so now he knows how to professionally psychoanalyze people
-Took 1 class of psychology so now he is knowledgeable on all mental illnesses ever
-Professional archer
-Doesn't have a job, but owns his own beach front.
-My favorite: Due to his lack of job, sells sex toys to high school students (as we all know many high school students are minors, in my area at least)
-Everything revolves around his ex girlfriend. The boy has apparently done nothing with his life without that ex girlfriend being physically present.
-He was apparently adored as a god in high school. This however has not helped him socially currently, as it seems he has little friends to speak of.
-Every other woman before and after adores him so much all they want to do is sleep with him. He is too moral though to take them up on the offer

Needless to say we talked and I told him I was uninterested, and he agreed. This apparently didn't stop him from asking me to sleep with him the second time we happened to meet up (decided we would just be friends). When I told him no, his reaction was his was apparently bisexual and would then continue to tell me how he found all these male anime characters to be highly attractive and all the fanart he would make (/shudder).

So Escapist, have you ever been on a date, or even just out with people, where you have experienced or met an individual who apparently is a master and skill at all things available? Are YOU one of those people? If so for either, what kind of experience was it? I want all the gory details.

And this concludes another episode of why Saeton is single. Tune in next time folks.

--- For anyone concerned, I am not mocking this individual. He seemed to have a lot of problems dealing with his own self image and I can only assume he either was attempting to make up for it, or he hada high level of delusion (I guess the first). This was not made to poke fun of the individual. Thank you ---

This is quite interesting actually. A thread by a psychologist about a guy who asked her out and likes to brag, in which she feels the need to point out her professions, qualifications and how long it took her to achieve them, as well as making a kind of circus out of her own experiences with dates she feels she it too got for. If I were a psychologist myself I would be intrigued.

 

[Lonewolfm16]

Not that picky right? I don't think so.

Nah man, its k, chicks will flock for you, they find gamers who play games where people become enamored over their virtual girlfriends sexy.

Fuckin' knew it. I knew Atlus was prepping me for real life the moment you start juggling several potential girlfriends at once.

Only a matter of time now... I'll need to research the basic female character archetypes in the meantime in order to prepare for actual conversation with the womenfolk. I might need to carry notes with me at all times for when the inevitable time where a cute girl rounds a corner too fast and bumps into me, starting her romance route from there should only be a few simple conversation choices away.

Your avatar is surprisingly appropriate for this conversation, isn't it? The God of Conquest, unless I am mistaken.

 

[SaetonChapelle]

snip

This is quite interesting actually. A thread by a psychologist about a guy who asked her out and likes to brag, in which she feels the need to point out her professions, qualifications and how long it took her to achieve them, as well as making a kind of circus out of her own experiences with dates she feels she it too got for. If I were a psychologist myself I would be intrigued.

Actually, I totally understand what you are saying here. I was originally intending to include his attempts at false psychoanalysis and such due to my previous experience (only in the departments of psych and art I am knowledgeable in, all of the others I am completely ignorant) however I decided to omit it as it would not have been important, but forgot to remove the paragraph.

My apologies.

 

[DevilWithaHalo]

So Escapist, have you ever been on a date, or even just out with people, where you have experienced or met an individual who apparently is a master and skill at all things available? Are YOU one of those people? If so for either, what kind of experience was it?

It's less bragging and more an honest streak of narcissism (from what I see in others). Men want to appear more impressive than they actually are, women merely think they're more impressive than they actually are.

I've been called that guy merely because I know how I fit into statistics; detailing facts isn't arrogance. But claiming you're a 10 when you're more like a 5; that is.

 

[Blood Brain Barrier]

snip

This is quite interesting actually. A thread by a psychologist about a guy who asked her out and likes to brag, in which she feels the need to point out her professions, qualifications and how long it took her to achieve them, as well as making a kind of circus out of her own experiences with dates she feels she it too got for. If I were a psychologist myself I would be intrigued.

Actually, I totally understand what you are saying here. I was originally intending to include his attempts at false psychoanalysis and such due to my previous experience (only in the departments of psych and art I am knowledgeable in, all of the others I am completely ignorant) however I decided to omit it as it would not have been important, but forgot to remove the paragraph.

My apologies.

That's okay.

By the way, all psychoanalysis is false as a science and also if we're talking about helping people and not just in the short term.