Dating and Strength Differences

[ObsidianJones_v1legacy]

However, if I had a nickel for every time I have been called shallow, sexist, racist, transphobic, entitled and / or cis-normative scum (and even been physically assaulted, like pushed, that kind of stuff)for my choice, I could probably...well, eat at a fairly expensive restaurant at least.

Hmmm, seems silly that many people would be that offended by that. Might i aks in what kind of situation this happened? Just mentioning what you like? Saying he's not your type to a weaker guy? Or telling him to get lost, while insulting him about his strength. I can understand the reaction if it's the last one.

Personally, I don't find it that silly as is.

Mainly because it was told to me often that because I'm black, all sexual interest in me is null and void. And you know what? I do get it. People do have types.

But (and maybe this is because I'm a New Yorker), it seems like all women must be at least accepted in some rate. If you don't like a girl's bra size around here, you're a sexist pig. If you rather a woman at your same fitness level, you're a jerk. God forbid if you don't like a woman with surplus adipose tissue. You should be burned at the stake.

I just think it should be the same across the board, and me and others shouldn't be told to look deeper into the essence of a girl if there is no physical attraction... but then be told to just deal with it if a woman isn't attracted to us because they have their types.

 

[Amaror]

Personally, I don't find it that silly as is.

Mainly because it was told to me often that because I'm black, all sexual interest in me is null and void. And you know what? I do get it. People do have types.

But (and maybe this is because I'm a New Yorker), it seems like all women must be at least accepted in some rate. If you don't like a girl's bra size around here, you're a sexist pig. If you rather a woman at your same fitness level, you're a jerk. God forbid if you don't like a woman with surplus adipose tissue. You should be burned at the stake.

I just think it should be the same across the board, and me and others shouldn't be told to look deeper into the essence of a girl if there is no physical attraction... but then be told to just deal with it if a woman isn't attracted to us because they have their types.

Ok ...
I am a little confused here, because you're complaining about a double standart that people criticize physical expectations of men in women, but not the other way around, on a comment that clearly states that people DO crizicize women for having certain physical expectations of men.
In the end we are attracted what their attracted to. I find it personally a bit silly to not even try and get to know a person that doesn't fullfill some very specific attributes but i am not going to attack someone over it.

 

[ObsidianJones_v1legacy]

Personally, I don't find it that silly as is.

Mainly because it was told to me often that because I'm black, all sexual interest in me is null and void. And you know what? I do get it. People do have types.

But (and maybe this is because I'm a New Yorker), it seems like all women must be at least accepted in some rate. If you don't like a girl's bra size around here, you're a sexist pig. If you rather a woman at your same fitness level, you're a jerk. God forbid if you don't like a woman with surplus adipose tissue. You should be burned at the stake.

I just think it should be the same across the board, and me and others shouldn't be told to look deeper into the essence of a girl if there is no physical attraction... but then be told to just deal with it if a woman isn't attracted to us because they have their types.

Ok ...
I am a little confused here, because you're complaining about a double standart that people criticize physical expectations of men in women, but not the other way around, on a comment that clearly states that people DO crizicize women for having certain physical expectations of men.
In the end we are attracted what their attracted to. I find it personally a bit silly to not even try and get to know a person that doesn't fullfill some very specific attributes but i am not going to attack someone over it.

Forgive me being unclear.

women who talk about what they are and are not attracted usually are not only supported, but lauded for being strong and knowing what they want.

men who talk about what they are and are not attracted to usually will meet some type of social scorn if his attraction touches on bra sizes, weight, or other issues that are usually on the list of media's negative agenda against women's body image... well, he's a pig.

 

[Ihateregistering1]

Guy here, and nope, has never happened, nor would I want it to. I've dated women who could do certain individual workouts better than me (for example, women who were super into marathons and could run a long-distance race faster than I could) but never one who was literally physically stronger than me by most (or all) measurables.

I strength train a lot, bench 320+, Deadlift 400+, etc.. The only way a woman would be able to match my strength would be to either A: be taking a large amount of steroids, in which case she'd likely have the female bodybuilder look, which I find extremely unattractive. or B: be a really, really, large lady, in which case I also find that extremely unattractive.

women who talk about what they are and are not attracted usually are not only supported, but lauded for being strong and knowing what they want.

men who talk about what they are and are not attracted to usually will meet some type of social scorn if his attraction touches on bra sizes, weight, or other issues that are usually on the list of media's negative agenda against women's body image... well, he's a pig.

Agreed. I've always found it sort of strange that if a guy says he wants a woman who is skinny, he's often labeled as either shallow, or he's just been 'brainwashed by the media/society/the fashion industry', but no one seems to bat an eye when a woman says she wants a guy who is at least 6' tall.

 

[Fappy]

I am far more concerned about being as physically fit as my partner. Raw strength isn't really as important as overall health (and looking healthy). If my significant other is going to the gym every week I should be too. Only seems fair.

As for strength, I don't think it would bother me. Doubt it will ever be a concern though. My girlfriend is hilariously weak XD

 

[Ariseishirou]

My current partner is both shorter and weaker than me (I strength train and have for years; he's a scrawny med student who just does cardio) and I like it, and I'm definitely turned on by the domme factor there, too.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

I've never dated a girl that was stronger than me. No active policy there, they all just happen to be wimps.

 

[TallanKhan]

I have never, to my knowledge, dated a woman who was physically stronger than me but it isn't like I insisted on arm wrestling any of them on our first date as some kind of screening process so I couldn't give a definitive answer. Largely it is just an assumption, I'm 6ft, fairly broad frame and in reasonable shape, and most of my exes were pretty slight.

As for whether I would have a problem with it, no, not really. As long as it wasn't a big deal for her it wouldn't be for me. That said, the overly muscular look doesn't do it for me, so while conceptually strength itself wouldn't be off-putting in a partner, there is a good chance she might not be my type physically.

 

[Mr Fixit]

Well after having a 5 foot 120 pound girl throw my 6 foot 250 pound self off of her with ease, yeah I really wouldn't have any problem with it. She was using me to show her friend how to protect herself & she could have kicked my ass at any time, well she said she would have to end the fight quickly. I consider myself pretty strong, but she also demonstrated just how easy it is to hold down someone twice your size when you know how to use leverage. Must be nice being a black belt. I can't say that she was stronger than me, but she knew how to use her strength. I find that kind of confidence & ability to be extremely sexy. I do know that the bodybuilder look is not the kind of thing I enjoy looking at. Being fit is awesome, but going to that next level is a big "no thanks" from me.

 

[And Man]

Erm... I wouldn't mind it, but I'd be hard-pressed to find a woman to date that's stronger than me, unless I were to date a powerlifter or a woman who's just physically big and a good 6 inches taller than me or something. So it'd be pretty unlikely, but if it were to happen, I'd be cool with it

 

[Drops a Sweet Katana]

I'm fairly strong for someone who's 6' and 62 kilos due to having a good amount of muscle, very little fat and a slimmer athletic frame. I haven't dated any girls stronger than me, but I don't really think it would matter to me too much if they were about the same strength or stronger. I actually think it would be a lot of fun. It would also give me a good incentive to push harder in the gym. In terms of BDSM, I don't really know. I'm open to it, but I would definitely need to be eased in and to experiment.

 

[RedRockRun]

1,44m 38 kilo (that's about four foot nine, 84 pounds for the colonial escapists with their heathen communist imperial system) tiny girl here. Although I'm very active physically and consider myself very fit (ran a marathon once. Came in with the last third, but screw it, finished it!) I'd be HARD pressed to find anyone who couldn't physically overpower me.

Now the unpopular bit:
I wouldn't date a below average strength guy, even if he was stronger than me (not exactly difficult I suppose.) I like the strong, muscular, slightly aggressive specimen. Sue me. That doesn't mean that guys that aren't in top shape or look like chiseled greek heroes of old are somehow worse people. They just aren't to my taste.

So you're physically fit girl, and you're a big gamer? Are you sure you're not imaginary?

---

I have no idea what I would want. I've never dated anyone, but I don't want someone noticeably fat or noticeably gaunt. I suppose that makes me tastes unrealistic, furthered only by the fact that I'm not in shape yet would expect someone who is to like me. Oh well...

 

[Summerstorm]

I like woman who are slightly off "norm".

I could date someone a bit taller than me.
Also i am not fit, but for a woman to be stronger than me, she has to be really good. Overly muscled i don't like, but excessive "Yoga-Fit" build is sexy

But i would have no problem dating someone more dangerous or powerful than me. (But i guess it would get me to work out and train up again. Because really... i wouldn't like to be called "That fat wimp with the amazon goddess there")

CAPTCHA: pork pies

FUCK YOU, CAPTCHA... grml

 

[Kathinka]

1,44m 38 kilo (that's about four foot nine, 84 pounds for the colonial escapists with their heathen communist imperial system) tiny girl here. Although I'm very active physically and consider myself very fit (ran a marathon once. Came in with the last third, but screw it, finished it!) I'd be HARD pressed to find anyone who couldn't physically overpower me.

Now the unpopular bit:
I wouldn't date a below average strength guy, even if he was stronger than me (not exactly difficult I suppose.) I like the strong, muscular, slightly aggressive specimen. Sue me. That doesn't mean that guys that aren't in top shape or look like chiseled greek heroes of old are somehow worse people. They just aren't to my taste.

So you're physically fit girl, and you're a big gamer? Are you sure you're not imaginary?

---

I have no idea what I would want. I've never dated anyone, but I don't want someone noticeably fat or noticeably gaunt. I suppose that makes me tastes unrealistic, furthered only by the fact that I'm not in shape yet would expect someone who is to like me. Oh well...

You can never prove it! TylerDurden.jpg
In all seriousness though, I wouldn't really consider myself a "gamer". I played some video games as a past time, sure, but it has been like 3 months since I last touched a game. So I guess I am safe.
Also don't be alarmed, my computer is in the kitchen, so the laws of the internet are upheld.

 

[LetalisK]

To paraphrase a comedian, there is a reason fucking a dwarf should be on every woman's bucket list: because no actually means no.

That and they have deceptively superior thrusting power.

 

[MeatMachine]

I have dated a woman who as as in shape as I was, back at a time when I really was in excellent shape. She was a ballet dancer and worked out regularly via that and pilates.

I dated a dancer as well. She wasn't nearly as strong as me regarding physical clout (we arm-wrestled a few times because our relationship was strange), but she was way healthier in every other way.

 

[Terminal Blue]

I'm confused as to how BDSM enters into this equation.

I mean, I've met subs who are really turned on by having a stronger partner, but mostly for what it allows said partner to do (particularly if you're into bondage, it helps to have a partner who can lift you and move you around) not because they need to be physically "overpowered" in order to submit. Frankly, most doms I know find subs who need to be physically overpowered annoying and would be skeptical as to whether they're actually into it.. I'm sure there are people who are like that, but frankly if you actually like subbing it shouldn't be that hard to get into the right mindset. Subbing to someone who is a lot weaker than you doesn't necessarily detract from the experience at all.

 

[RedRockRun]

1,44m 38 kilo (that's about four foot nine, 84 pounds for the colonial escapists with their heathen communist imperial system) tiny girl here. Although I'm very active physically and consider myself very fit (ran a marathon once. Came in with the last third, but screw it, finished it!) I'd be HARD pressed to find anyone who couldn't physically overpower me.

Now the unpopular bit:
I wouldn't date a below average strength guy, even if he was stronger than me (not exactly difficult I suppose.) I like the strong, muscular, slightly aggressive specimen. Sue me. That doesn't mean that guys that aren't in top shape or look like chiseled greek heroes of old are somehow worse people. They just aren't to my taste.

So you're physically fit girl, and you're a big gamer? Are you sure you're not imaginary?

---

I have no idea what I would want. I've never dated anyone, but I don't want someone noticeably fat or noticeably gaunt. I suppose that makes me tastes unrealistic, furthered only by the fact that I'm not in shape yet would expect someone who is to like me. Oh well...

You can never prove it! TylerDurden.jpg
In all seriousness though, I wouldn't really consider myself a "gamer". I played some video games as a past time, sure, but it has been like 3 months since I last touched a game. So I guess I am safe.
Also don't be alarmed, my computer is in the kitchen, so the laws of the internet are upheld.

*sigh of relief* The universe is back in balance hehe.

Is that your picture in your avatar? If so, then you're really cute!

Also, if you had to guess would you say that most women share your preferences in men? I mean, every now and then I'll see someone say that she likes beards and dudes in trilbies who drink craft beer, but I'd say the societal norm at the moment leans toward tall guys who are in shape and moderate to severely aggressive.

I only ask because I don't know how much of a chance I have. Sure, theoretically I could get in shape, but I'm not going to grow any taller, and I'm definitely not going to be aggressive.

To paraphrase a comedian, there is a reason fucking a dwarf should be on every woman's bucket list: because no actually means no.

That and they have deceptively superior thrusting power.

Brad Williams? Adam Carolla?

 

[the December King]

I used to be a more athletic man, but the VFX lifestyle combined with a love for sugary drink has made me soft as of late- I'm about 240 lbs and 5'9" (I know, don't look at me!).

Having said that, I am repulsed by the idea of a stronger female partner.

Not afraid to say it, I like some traditional gender roles, and specifically, I like being the stronger in the pairing. Healthier, or leaner, or faster, no problem. In fact, I find such qualities inspiring. My love is actually taller than me by a hair (but I'll never admit it). But I enjoy being the physically stronger in the relationship (and I am). S'just how it is.

Incidentally, I'm noticing among the men-folks that a lot of them don't mind the idea of a stronger woman, but that they list themselves as, like, 20' tall steel factory-lifters or backhoe wrestlers or Krav-Maga artistes or something. I didn't mean to mention it to get into an argument, I just found it genuinely funny!

As to BDSM, I don't think I'd enjoy relinquishing control, nor find it arousing. Not sure I'd enjoy being a dom, either.

 

[Kathinka]

It's not so much a societal norm as it is basic biology. Think about it this way: Our not-so-distant forefathers that lived in caves and looked suspiciously like Danny Devito had the following dynamic: Men could just hook up with a cave girl and be ready to go again a few minutes later. Girls on the other hand are potentially stuck with a baby for months, plus however it takes to raise the little brat. Hence we have developed a preference for guys that would make good mates. And that means dudes that can make fire, hunt the mammoth and defend the tribe with spear. "Aggressive" maybe isn't the perfect word, though a certain kind of..combativeness was of course useful and plays into it. "Assertive" is the term I would use.

Evolution, baby!

That's the vastly general rule, anyway. Notice how all the douchebags get the high-value amazingly hot, fun and interesting girlfriends? That's mostly because they are assertive, cocky and confident and a row of other ticked boxes that check the "good partner" mechanism in our girly brains. Use this knoweldge!