Dead Man Impregnates Woman

[Worgen]

if I wasnt drunk right now and finshed cumming for tonight, I think that would ahve killed my boner.... I hope I forget what the story was about when I wake up, I probably will, that will be nice

 

[Ameter]

Read the fully story here

http://www.deadseriousnews.com/?p=524

Is it messed up of me to want something like that to happen to me when I die? Not for any sexual thrill (I'd be dead afterall), but my friends would never stop telling that story and their children would tell the story and so on, and so on, until I was legendary. I'd be like the Hercules of post mortem rape.

Edit: It's not trolling if I didn't realize it was fake at the moment I posted it

I'm sorry, but I have to fall on the ground and roll over laughing my fucking ass off if you didn't get that it wasn't serious.

 

[Ameter]

Jeusus.... people on here really don't comprehend the notion of

don't believe everything you fucking read (paraphrased)

jesus fucking christ.


I'm an astrophysicist, but I don't expect you to believe it without proof, nor should you. Don't you ever tire of making yourself look like you didn't learn how to breathe until you were ten?

 

[scorptatious]

"Mommy, what was Daddy like?"

"Well Timmy, all I can say about your father is that he was a stiff."

Bad puns aside, what's really messed up is that the child is going to be half dog when it's born.

 

[lacktheknack]

NOT PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE.

 

[YukoValis]

Maybe it's because I'm a little crazy, or maybe I am just a man of the world, but I find this hilarious. Sueing for child support, which probably won't work based on since it's a crime. Who knows.

 

[YukoValis]

NOT PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE.

Actually yes it is, and this isn't the first case.

 

[Tdc2182]

Could the name of this mortuary be any more fitting?

'Mourning glory mortuary'.... seriously? I almost think this is a joke.

I was surprised it took it this long down the thread for someone to see it.

I'm callin shenanigans on this one folks.

 

[Vern]

NOT PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE.

Actually yes it is, and this isn't the first case.

I'd like to see some evidence. Yes removing semen from a corpse is possible, but it has a very small window to be done in, usually within 24 hours before the sperm decomposes. If the body is almost frozen it can wait a bit longer, but still the sperm itself has to be frozen below 300 degrees Fahrenheit to remain viable. And considering all the muscle contractions required to erect the phallus and rerouting the urethra from expelling urine to expelling semen, it seems virtually impossible unless the man died of a heart attack while attaining orgasm while inside the woman.

That and the fact that the front page of this news organization has an article about Osama Bin Laden offering safety to Julian Assange just has to make me call complete and utter bullshit, plus the CIA suppository explosives and everything else on it.

Seems to me that any plausible case of a woman becoming pregnant from semen obtained postmortem either involves a lengthy and specific medical procedure, or someone lying about how they got pregnant.

But of course that all seemed blatantly obvious to me as soon as I read the article, and I'm amazed that anyone was duped into thinking otherwise. I'll echo lacktheknack, physically impossible.

 

[robert_]

All i have to say is WTF?

 

[Lilani]

Wow. Just...wow. Does she put his name on the birth certificate, or...?

 

[markisb]

hahahaha. if i was the dead guys family id sue for rape if she sues for child support.

 

[thiosk]

This is either a very good joke, or a very bad day for law.

I'd be astonished if this were real.

Theres too many little details that just make me think its not real.

That and the fact that the front page of this news organization has an article about Osama Bin Laden offering safety to Julian Assange just has to make me call complete and utter bullshit, plus the CIA suppository explosives and everything else on it.

I'm with you on this one.

 

[moretimethansense]

Spoiler: Edward?

I'm going to assume that this is a joke, especially since the site is called dead serious news dot com I mean how obvious can you get?

having said that I wouldn't put the last part past anyone people sue for the stupidest reasons.

 

[gbemery]

NOT PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE.

Actually yes it is, and this isn't the first case.

umm, no it isn't unless you can find some evidence. It is not physiologically possible. In order to get an erection, reach orgasm and ejaculate you need the nerves to work to be able to receive signals to cause those muscles to...you know why do I even need to explain this? Please take a biology class of some sort.

 

[mexicola]

Imagine what the child would be like: all the strengths of the dead people, none of the weaknesses! He could grow up and train to fight the undead menace.

 

[theriddlen]

Pics or it didn't happen.

 

[sarcasa]

That is strange, amazing and completely fucked up. That woman needs to be jailed, having sex with a dead man... wow that is just sad.

And she wants child suppourt? Really? Wake up! You just had sex with a dead man which is very lowly and disrespectful!

Okay Wdf....Who would most likely do that out of the people we know Nouw?

 

[Folio]

I'm imagining zombie babies now. I never knew that was possible post-mortem.

 

[Ithera]

The doctor sold her out? whatever happened to confidentiality? Or perhaps I'm barking up the wrong tree, I must admit my knowledge of the concept is a little hazy.

Edit:

That sight is a joke site by the way guys if you haven't picked that up.

Darnit!, thanks for informing me. I blame my ignorance on barely waking up yet.