Dealing with death.

[EeveeElectro]

I lost my uncle today. I've never lost a close family member before, and I'm a little shaken at the moment, it feels like part of my world has crumbled. I've got a performance tomorrow too, so I don't think I'll be acting my best.
I've been crying for the past hour or so, my mum, sister and I have had a big hug and just cried on each other. Then I joked about how there's no way he'd die quietly, he'd make a fuss somehow.
We all laughed, and felt a little better :]
So, I ask you. How you you deal with death of a family member/anyone you're close to?
I did a search, nothing like this came up, so sorry if it's been done before. It was all threads about the afterlife, last words and Death Metal.

 

[FallenRainbows]

I suck at this, the one person I do care about if she died I believe I would too... Yeah Sorry I can't help... I suppose you could take some sleeping pills and knock your self out for a while.

 

[Cpt_Oblivious]

Firstly: I'm sorry for your loss.

On to the Topic at hand: Me? Death doesn't really affect me. I shrug it off as "shit happens".

I know some people go listen to sad songs, and let it all out at once. Some are ok afterwards, some it takes a bit longer.

 

[Sir Ollie]

I'm sorry for your loss

But when my nan died I was about 9, I took a long walk around the countryside by myself to get some fresh air and to take time and to remember all the great times I had with her. It kinda helped but it took some time trying to get used to plus it didn't help that we had to go on holiday two days later.

 

[Booze Zombie]

I would offer you a sorry, but it would sound so hollow on a forum I don't think I'll try.

I've had three relatives die, but I'm a detached person, you see.
Their deaths were regretted, but I shed no tears, though I did wish I could cry a bit about it.

They lived their lives up until their deaths without complaining about that mortality, why should I complain about it?

 

[Avaholic03]

Sounds like you're dealing with it pretty well. The worst thing you can do is go into a shell and try to deal with it all on your own. Don't be ashamed of relying on friends and family to help you get through...and also be there for your family if they are having trouble too. A lot of times, just knowing that others sympathize or feel the same way is comforting.

Oh, and it goes without saying that you don't start drinking/drugs at this point. That's the quickest way to become dependent on them.

 

[Hedberger]

I've lost my granddad and my cousins wife but i honestly couldn't tell anyone how to deal with that. I don't think i have yet, not as far as i know.

 

[APPCRASH]

My great aunt passed away last week. I guess, for me anyways, I got used to it. Most of the older side of my family are already gone.

 

[Nmil-ek]

The last loved one I lost was some time ago however in my family we tend to have wakes we grieve personaly and in our own time but we gather together to celibrate the persons life and acheivments over drinks rather than mass grieving.

 

[Fairee]

The only person I've been close to who died was my grandma, and basically I've been traumatised ever since. I understand what you're going through, it really is hard, espesh to start off with.

All I can say is that it does gradually get easier, you never really forget the person and move on, you just accept that you won't be seeing them again, and you can remember them without getting really depressed and emotional.

Oh, and if anyone posts anything harsh, just ignore them. They obviously have no idea what you're going through.

 

[sky14kemea]

*hugs*

sorry, im no good at this stuff

hmm, closest 'person' ive lost so far is my favorite cat... i guess i mourned for a day or 2, then my friends helped cheer me up

 

[Kuchinawa212]

I'm sorry for your loss

Me, personally, I just think they have more powerful then I can possibly imagine. So I don't feel sad, and I don't miss them, and I don't lock myself in my room for days crying.

I just accept it, they are dead, and I can't do anything about it.

 

[Biek]

My condolences.

Ive lost my father and brother myself. But Im afraid to admit you become somewhat jaded to the news of death. There were some matters that made dealing with it easier though. My father had cancer, and his last few days must have been unbearable for him. I consoled myself believing hes better off now that in a hospital bed in agony. My brother commited suicide after years of schizophrenia. I didnt have a warm relationship with him so it didnt affect me more than a shock upon hearing the news.

Do you mind if I ask what happened to your uncle?

 

[Zombie_Fish]

Sorry for your loss.

Only things I'ver ever lost that I were close to were two cats, two rabbits and several hamsters so I'm not that experienced in bearing it. I'd probably just talk to someone about it though, to get it out oif my system.

 

[EeveeElectro]

Thank you guys.

Every thing's a bit quiet in the house, the TV's off and they're quietly talking, mums having a glass of wine, I think. I'll be reet for tomorrow, drama is all about distancing yourself from your personal life and conjuring up new emotions.

My condolences.

Ive lost my father and brother myself. But Im afraid to admit you become somewhat jaded to the news of death. There were some matters that made dealing with it easier though. My father had cancer, and his last few days must have been unbearable for him. I consoled myself believing hes better off now that in a hospital bed in agony. My brother commited suicide after years of schizophrenia. I didnt have a warm relationship with him so it didnt affect me more than a shock upon hearing the news.

Do you mind if I ask what happened to your uncle?

Gosh, that's terrible. I'm sorry. If I lost my brother, i don't know what I'd do.

He died peacefully in his sleep, which I'm happy about. My mum goes to see him everyday to take him to the bookies, but they couldn't get in this morning so they had to smash the kitchen window and climb through.
But like I said, knowing him, he wouldn't have gone peacfully, haha.

 

[G1eet]

Sorry for your loss.

Only things I'ver ever lost that I were close to were two cats, two rabbits and several hamsters so I'm not that experienced in bearing it. I'd probably just talk to someone about it though, to get it out oif my system.

Same here; most of my nuclear and extended family is alive.
I've only had 2 dogs die on me.

 

[FishSama]

I've reacted differently to different family members dying. My grandmother was the first death in my life and I was 13 when it happened, and it was right when I was starting my Confirmation classes to become an "adult" member of the Church. It really stung cause she was the one who was really instrumental in my faith. At that point I lost faith, and it took about three days for me to ball my eyes out, but once I did I was okay I guess. I still miss her, but I think she's in a better place now.

My Great Grandmother was the second big death in my life, and I wasn't as close to her as my Grandma, but it was still pretty hard. I was starting to get some of my faith back at the time though, and it did help me to say goodbye. Just the wind blowing to the west at the graveyard helped me a lot because in old lore your soul goes to the west when you die.

My grandpa was the last one I lost. I still haven't cried for him yet, and I don't think I will. It's been two years almost, but the Visitation/ Wake was really good for me to have some closure , and we, as a family, were able to have some fun and joke around like Grandpa would have wanted. I even gave him a couple of cigarettes from my pack before they closed the casket, because since he was a chain smoker (fyi, he just died of old age, no cancer) he would have finished the first smoke by the time he got up to the Pearly Gates and be able to tell St. Peter all the 20 St. Peter jokes we told him before the casket was closed.

My family tends to find a way to laugh about things to make them easier on us. Like at Grandma's funeral we all were joking about how she was late to her own funeral. Or at Grandpa's funeral we joked about how he felt lighter in the casket for some reason (he couldn't walk towards the end).

There's different ways of coping I guess. But joking and remembering the good times is a good way for me to do it.

 

[Hellion25]

When my grandad died I did what I could to support the rest of my family, then kinda dealt with it on my own. Not because I was forced to or anything, its just how I tend to deal with things. Just kinda isolated myself and reminisced and thought about stuff.

 

[Legion]

My condolences.

 

[goatzilla8463]

When my grandfather died........ I smiled.

I got some nice little part in his will.

Yeah, he's gone. I got over it. People die. It's part of being human. Just remember how they were cool in their life and how they had a nice happy life.