Dealing With Death

[TylerC]

Death is obviously something that is going to happen to everyone at one point or another. But when it's someone you know, it's different than if you just heard on the news about some person you don't know. These past few years have really given me perspective of how death can affect you and the people you around you.

When I was younger (think 1st-7th grade) I had known kids who had never experienced a death in their family/friends nor had they been to a funeral. But these last couple of years (From 8th Grade until this year as a junior in High School) I've had three of people in my grade's mom or dad die from cancer, my sister's friend's parents killed in a murder/suicide, and my football teammate was killed in a motorcycle racing accident.

Today one of my best friends' girlfriend died of meningitis. Just a few days ago she was on facebook saying that she was feeling better and then she's gone. It's really weird knowing that someone who was in your math class last year is gone forever. Seriously, 16 is way too young to die.

I don't really know how to deal with this stuff. People talk and cry and all that and I don't. I don't think I'm desensitized, although I guess it's possibility, but what am I supposed to do or say to my friend? I know there is always the "I'm sorry for your loss," but I feel like it would be better to let them be, or be more personal because he is my friend.

How do you deal with it?

 

[Marter]

Death is obviously something that is going to happen to everyone at one point or another.

Until everyone is dead, you can't prove that! And once everyone is dead, you won't be alive to prove it! Haha, I can live in denial forever!

OT: I'm sorry to hear that. Um...I just kind of got over it when people I know have died. Didn't really even cry, and certainly didn't talk to anyone about it. I just sort of...didn't care, after a certain time.

 

[Betancore]

Everyone reacts differently to things. Doesn't mean you're any less sensitive, or normal, if you don't cry, or react in a 'typical' way. I guess all you can do is be there for that person. If they want to talk, let them talk. If they want to cry, let them cry. Just by showing that you're there for them, and that they have your full support and your attention, that really helps.

My friend committed suicide earlier this year, and it helped that I could be sad with people who knew him as well. People always say the usual stuff when they hear that someone you know has died, but when they cared for them too, they can share what you're feeling, and they can understand why you're feeling that way.

 

[Outright Villainy]

It's one of those cop out answers, but "Time heals all wounds" legitimately applies to death. It's the only real way of getting over it.

 

[Naheal]

I mourn for about half a year, then move on. People who I've lost have never expressed that they wanted me to feel empty when they're gone.

 

[Something Amyss]

I have an unfortunate tendency to go numb from the neck up. I don't mourn very well, and I move on even worse.

 

[Furious Styles]

Wow, that's a whole lot of death. I've never experienced much of it. Just grandparents and great grandparents dying when it was their time.

Kid I sorta half knew was diagnosed with leukemia on the friday (20th of august i think) and died on the saturday. I hadn't spoken to the guy since i was about 9 or so and he was 3 years older than me, but my cousin was friends with him and she always said he was the nicest person. I didn't know him well enough to feel personally sad, but the sheer tragedy of it is too sad to ignore. Its weird, and I'm glad I didn't know him well enough to feel truly awful about it.

I don't know how I'd deal with death, i think I'd be one of the ones who huddled in their room crying for days on end. But I really don't know.

 

[Benmonkey7]

As I have just had to recently deal with death also, I have to say that time does make things better. But if you're looking for things to say to your friend, I don't really know either of you personally so I don't really know anything specific, but just be there for him. If he wants to talk about her, then sure, if he doesn't, then don't.

 

[DefunctTheory]

I've had to deal with far too much death. Sometimes, the only thing you can do is raise a glass to their memory among friends, and than keep moving on.

 

[mega48man]

ok, imagine yourself in a blank white room. no walls or cieling, just a white blank plane. now, think of 3 adjectives, in your opinion, that describe how you feel about being in that big white void.

.................................got three adjectives? no? ok, another minute....................................

.................................done? cool beans, now, those 3 adjectives should describe how you feel about death...........

freaky right? next question, think of a river, and come up with 3 adjectives for that.

...................................got them? those 3 adjectives describe how you like to have sex...........yep.

 

[Urgh76]

When I play with death, I prefer to deal the cards......

OT: All you can really do is be there for them

 

[ajofflight]

It depends on who dies, really. If it's someone you knew well, it's harder to accept, but if it's someone who you met in passing, or are "expected" to know, then it's easier to take.

 

[CarpathianMuffin]

With gallows humor, coupled with losing sleep and crying tears of blood on the side on rare occasions. Otherwise, just regular tears.

 

[Contun]

I haven't had to deal with much death in my lifetime and I honestly don't know how I would react.

I'm sorry for your loss though.

 

[HT_Black]

You can't, at first. Honest to God, the best you can hope for is for the numbing to happen as soon as possible.

No, I'm serious and armed with firsthand experience. You literally just have to hope that you stop feeling it.

 

[hottsaucekid]

I'm not afraid of dying.
I'm afraid of not living life to the fullest before it happens.

 

[Serenegoose]

I've only dealt with death a few times in my life. When my dog died, and when my grandfather died. In both cases, I cried before bed, and then accepted they were gone and moved on. I'm more of an emotional person nowadays though, so it might be worse the next time it happens.

 

[BlumiereBleck]

I write about, but never share it with anyone.

 

[Sneaky-Pie]

Fortunately, I've never had to experience the death of a loved one... yet.

But I would imagine the way I would cope is through alcohol.

A lot of alcohol.

 

[Lust]

I cried at my first funeral. It was my first real confrontation with death.

But, ever since then, I haven't been able to. Now, I just get a little teary eyed.

I usually just surround myself with music. Mourning in peace.