Dealing With Teen Gaming Addiction

[Zakarath]

Yeah, I admit I had a bit of a problem with gaming in high school too, but I was often able to rely on my intelligence to keep my grades up (tests and the like) even though I often missed homework assignments. I managed to get into a good college, and that acted like a bit of a wake-up call, as you either work damn hard or you fail, and I had to get work done on my own rather than having my parents nagging at me. When they say college teaches time management, it's the truth. And having classes I really cared about (game design) definitely help engage me with school too.

 

[jacobythehedgehog]

Interesting, I am personally glad I am not that bad. But I think if I was stupid I would be.

 

[Grabbin Keelz]

Oh god, Runescape. I wasted 3 years of my life on that game. In the end, I gave my password to someone and stopped playing MMO's forever.

 

[Pyrian]

Forget about the gaming; let him play as much as he likes once his responsibilities are taken care of. Instead, make him do his homework and studies. Periodically verify that it's being worked on, and always verify that it's gotten done. Check with his teachers, as well. And keep on it.

Yeah, guess what, that's a pretty big time commitment on the parents' part. So is a lot of parenting. The teenage years were never billed as the easy time. You want some kind of fire-and-forget miracle cure, but that's not how discipline works (neither self-discipline nor discipline of others), and it's a lack of discipline, not a gaming habit, that's ultimately the problem, here. Get on his ass and stay on his ass.

 

[Strazdas]

it was a fine article untill he started to talk about drugs. giving drugs to a kid that wants to play games so he wont play them? i would like to see any doctor that does it in jail NOW.
the first option is similar to what my parents did. when they noticed that i get around thier passwords (this was before internet was existing) and sitll play regardless they simply did the "do what you want, we dont care anymore" thing. its partly because they had new child by then so attention moved elsewhere (and im happy for it). Why this worked is because when there was no longer the urge to "play while you still can" the need to play dissapeared. my grades jumped a lot, i started to prefer movies to games and whatnot. letting people sort it out on themselves is the way to go.
to put a person in a electronic-free enviroment forcibly in todays society would not only traumatize him but alienate him so he would never want to do with you anything anymore.

As for not wanting to go to school, thats normal, who would. afterall its outdated. watch this cool video for more.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zDZFcDGpL4U

Could be a more skilled hacker could hack himself into an offline router and turn it on.

Why bother, all you need to do is go to a router and press the on button?

 

[The_Vigilant]

Pfft. Kid needs an ass-kicking. If I tried to pull this shit with my parents it'd mean a world of hurt. I learned from a very young age not to engage in a contest of will with my father because as a child you cannot win. These parents have obviously taught their son that he can walk on them. And what a surprise - he does!

Take all of his things. If he's this addicted I doubt he paid for that computer or Xbox himself. And when he's 18 make him start paying rent. Tell him he gets a 6 month grace period if he graduates high school.

If he throws a fit, doesn't graduate, and refuses to pay rent...kick him out.

 

[Realitycrash]

Seriously..Medication? You suggest MEDICATION!? Are you out of your mind?

 

[Aiberg]

the best thing to do is make sure he finds a girlfriend. will solve a lot of problems.

 

[bdcjacko]

The beauty of 18 year old kids is that you can legally kick them out and show them that there is more to life than video games.

 

[BGH122]

...You're saying that the parents should just let him play games and fail at school because that's what he wants to do?

Nope, I'm saying they should start an open dialogue with him. Taking the route of presuming Ivy League uni path to be the best way forward and then judging his success based upon their goals for him isn't what's best for him.

In order to actually find out what is best for him they need to speak openly with him, not naggingly and not aggressively. They need to find out what he enjoys and why he enjoys it and then try to find a way to incorporate those activities into a life path that he'd actually enjoy.

Success comes from proficiency in and enjoyment of a particular pursuit. If you force someone down a particular path they'll eventually drop out once you're no longer around to force them to pursue that path.

It might be that he's scared of his school days coming to an end, or scared of his potentially poor test results. Trying to remove the coping mechanism without dealing with the underlying cause never forces the person to face what they're hiding from, it just makes them miserable. This is why they need to start an open dialogue and find out if there is anything making him miserable, or if he just flat out hates the subjects at school.

You can spout all the definitions of an addiction you want to. I'm not going to say this is an addiction in the sense of a cocaine addict. I'm just going to say that he plays videogames way too much, for whatever reason.

Fine, that's not an addiction. It's good to be precise.

it was a fine article untill he started to talk about drugs. giving drugs to a kid that wants to play games so he wont play them? i would like to see any doctor that does it in jail NOW.

Agreed, it was a deeply irresponsible suggestion. I presume the doctor is a psychiatrist since my experience of them when I was studying psychopathology was that their answer to everything was "MOAR DRUGS!" despite the fact that there has been proven widespread biasing towards pharmaceutical treatment in anti-depressant studies [http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/727323?sssdmh=dm1.633694&src=nldne].

to games and whatnot. letting people sort it out on themselves is the way to go.
to put a person in a electronic-free enviroment forcibly in todays society would not only traumatize him but alienate him so he would never want to do with you anything anymore.

Precisely. Everyone here seems to be a big fan of tough love (I smell internet-tough-guyitis) in lieu of any genuine education in psychology. Such drastically draconian measures work only as coercion and completely sever the necessary attachment bond between parent and child and can lead to some pretty severe personality defects down the line.

 

[aba1]

Force never solves anything it just causes resent. I prefer the knowlage aspect I would show my kid WHY you cant just sit around playing games all day rather than just taking them away at least then he understands what he or she needs to do. Personally ever since college I hardly play games even half as much I have to much on my plate I do tend to watch alot of shows and read alot on my computer however

 

[Nayr]

The kid clearly has his own demons which he needs to sort on his own. I know at university sometimes games interfere with my schooling, but when it comes down to mid terms and exam time I know what I need to do and put the x box away.

Also if you are spending your only social interactions online, then there is clearly an issue and he needs to sort it our himself. He does not need therapy, he needs a job or priorities.

 

[orangeapples]

Like most addictions and problems people have, someone needs to get into the psychology of the addict.

Get him to open up and talk about why he loves gaming.
like most addictions it is mostly 2 things:
he's trying to scape from something
he sees the now benefits of gaming and does not see the eventual benefits of school, IRL friends or anything that isn't about gaming.

perhaps talk to some of his IRL friends, or even other gamers in the area that he can talk to about gaming. Just something or someone that he has a connection to offline. Let them do something outside of the house: movies, kickback, play cards, etc.

Unfortunately the problem starts somewhere and that is with the parents. As parents there are a number of things that could have been done:
buy less video games, let the child have more freedom outside of the home, be supportive of activities the child may be interested in, not buy the child a laptop, and have a computer station that is both open and secluded.

There are also a number of things the parents could STILL do including:
put the modem and wireless router in their room on one of the power strips with a switch, and just turn the switch off at 9:30pm (can't hack it if there is no power) and turn it back on in the morning. regulate the Wi-Fi.

but now the child is 17 and lines need to be drawn:
The main one is giving the child an ultimatum: get your grades up and go to college; get a job and start paying rent.

DO NOT restrict gaming; the child needs to realize that his gaming is a problem and he cannot do that if the parents say it is a problem; because in the child's eyes, his parents see gaming as a problem and they are wrong. He cannot begin to get out of his addiction until he sees that it is a problem and wants to get help.

My friend and his room-mate were addicted to gaming. They didn't know it, but I saw it. They had a PS3, 2 TVs and decided that they needed another PS3. They were living in a garage. I went with them when they went to buy another PS3 and told them that this was one of the stupidest decisions they could ever make. I told them that there was no reason for them for have 2 PS3 when they basically lived in 1 room (the garage was split in half so it was like 2 rooms). Their justification was that when 1 was gaming the other would want to game as well, but play a different game. I told them that their reasoning was weak and irresponsible, they even wanted me to get a PS3 when I told them that I couldn't afford it and I was content with my PS2 and all of the games I haven't finished yet. They ended up leaving the store with a PS3 and 3 (new) games. Eventually 1 lost his girlfriend and the other lost his boyfriend and both lost their jobs because they would game until sunrise and couldn't wake up for work. Eventually ended up not being able to afford renting out someone's garage and went homeless. I think they eventually went back to living with their parents (they were almost 30 when they made that decision).

They came to realize that gaming destroyed them because they couldn't maintain their real world lives and gaming at the same time. They eventually sold their PS3s and got their lives back together got new jobs and a new place to live. But they didn't realize that there was a problem until they had realized that they had set themselves up to fail. I told them there was a problem, and to them I was wrong. They still talk about gaming occasionally, but never got another system.

 

[KaiusCormere]

Would you rather your child be successful or happy?

I'm pretty sure most parents will say successful.

/bitter

 

[spartan231490]

Video games aren't a god damn addiction, they're an entertainment medium. If you want your kid to play fewer video games, give him something more entertaining to do. Find him/her a girl/boyfriend. Have him sign up for sports. there is no greater intervention needed than that. Hell, why not just let him play video games. heaven forbid the poor kid could be entertained in his free time.

 

[lemiel14n3]

There are actually tech detox facilities, which supposedly run a brisk business depriving people of all forms of the more modern technology. cell phones, touch pads, laptops, and yes, video games. There are, I understand, several nearby my home in Vermont. (well, nearby is something of a relative term) and other more "technologically desolate" areas.

For those of you saying that it's impossible to become addicted to video games, I propose an experiment, first, put all your consoles away, box them up, seal them with tape. Delete any gaming programs from your computer and mobile devices. (if possible, put them away too, there are alternatives to every program you have on there [letters=Email, pen & paper = several programs]) and put that all aside for a month. Then see what kind of results you get.

Precisely. Everyone here seems to be a big fan of tough love (I smell internet-tough-guyitis) in lieu of any genuine education in psychology. Such drastically draconian measures work only as coercion and completely sever the necessary attachment bond between parent and child and can lead to some pretty severe personality defects down the line.

The trouble with genuine exercises in psychology is that they are typically time consuming. tough love, although much more ... well, tough, carries with it an additional benefit of pace. It's somewhat comparable to breaking a door down as opposed to picking the lock. Several people have mentioned that until this kid realizes that he has a problem, he's not going to change, and that means he has to hit rock bottom before he can start climbing back up. The unfortunate thing is, rock bottom is a long way down. With a gaming addiction, all you really need is food, power and a place to poop. As long as they have the accommodations necessary to survive and to fuel their addiction, addicts can tolerate a lot.

snip

You mention here that your friends didn't realize they had a problem, and since that spoke to my earlier point, I referenced it. The problem here is, if this kid were in his 20's then yes, he would be responsible for his own life, ultimatums would need to be drawn (college or rent or out) but this kid is 17, he's still in high school. And if he was passing, (well the problem wouldn't really necessitate this kind of discussion) then the complaints would be different, but he's failing all his courses, this doesn't just ruin his present opportunities, it decimates all future ones. If his parents are to be believed in their correspondence, then this boy is failing all or most of his classes.

Not only is failing high school laughably terrible, but it also destroys nearly all future activities. He's swiftly reducing his job qualifications to pushing brooms and flipping burgers. And forget college. Yes, later in life he can go back and get a GED, but by then, as was raised in the article, most of his life may have passed him by (maybe another 15 years) the job market's already bad, college graduates are lucky to find any work, what prospects do you think a 30 year old man with a fresh GED and no job experience will have?

Video games aren't a god damn addiction, they're an entertainment medium. If you want your kid to play fewer video games, give him something more entertaining to do. Find him/her a girl/boyfriend. Have him sign up for sports. there is no greater intervention needed than that. Hell, why not just let him play video games. heaven forbid the poor kid could be entertained in his free time.

Well, sorry to burst your bubble, but this is bull. I don't think anyone is saying that video games are themselves, addictive, you're correct in saying that they are inherently entertaining diversions. But you can become addicted to them, there's no chemical dependance, but the need remains the same (if you want to prove me wrong, then you go totally without video games for a month). I have seen people (myself included) go a process remarkably similar to withdrawal when deprived of video games for an extended period of time.

And the problem isn't that he's being entertained in his free time, it's that he's being entertained ALL the time.

 

[BGH122]

The trouble with genuine exercises in psychology is that they are typically time consuming. tough love, although much more ... well, tough, carries with it an additional benefit of pace. It's somewhat comparable to breaking a door down as opposed to picking the lock. Several people have mentioned that until this kid realizes that he has a problem, he's not going to change, and that means he has to hit rock bottom before he can start climbing back up. The unfortunate thing is, rock bottom is a long way down. With a gaming addiction, all you really need is food, power and a place to poop. As long as they have the accommodations necessary to survive and to fuel their addiction, addicts can tolerate a lot.

I've already stated that the scientific evidence of this so-called gaming 'addiction' are sparse to say the least. Gaming as a coping strategy is well evidenced. Gaming as an addiction that fulfils all of Griffiths' (2002) criteria is not.

Concepts like bottoming out don't apply to coping strategies. This is far likelier to be a coping strategy, therefore mere removal of the coping strategy won't have any positive effects; it'd be akin to alleviating a symptom of a disease whilst roundly ignoring the cause. What would work to remove both the coping strategy and the cause would be an open discussion with the kid to see if he feels upset about something.

As I've said previously, all this 'tough love' nonsense is often spouted in lieu of any genuine knowledge of any of its well documented effects.

Would you rather your child be successful or happy?

I'm pretty sure most parents will say successful.

/bitter

Sadly, I think you're right. Those parents really need to do their research and look at just how many negative traits ranging the full gambit from depression to low assertiveness to high blood pressure and CHD prevalence are associated with low parental support. Successful != happy.

 

[Strazdas]

For those of you saying that it's impossible to become addicted to video games, I propose an experiment, first, put all your consoles away, box them up, seal them with tape. Delete any gaming programs from your computer and mobile devices. (if possible, put them away too, there are alternatives to every program you have on there [letters=Email, pen & paper = several programs]) and put that all aside for a month. Then see what kind of results you get.

Im not saying its impossible to be addictive, but most people classified as that actually isn't addicted. your experiment isnt really hard. every summer i go camping with friends for 2 weeks. the only electronic device i take with me is my cell phone, incase of emergency to call for help ect. it usually jsut sits in my pocket doing nothing whole 2 weeks. no problem with that, and no withdrawal or anything. on the otheer hand while im at home im at computer 6-8 hours a day easy and would be even more if i had more time. conclusion - your experiment doesnt work.

 

[Jachwe]

[...]

First we need to prove that gaming addictions are a genuine psychological phenomenon. The research I've seen on so called gaming addictions has been beyond dismal [...]
We need to genuinely show that gaming addiction follows Griffiths' (2002) components of addiction:

[...]

In the few genuine empirical studies I've seen on the matter they either failed to find all signs of addiction in 'addicted' gamers, or found that gaming was being used a coping mechanism [...] due to some other stressor. [...]

Far too many things are classified as addictions these days by people looking to cash in on the scaremongering or the juicy clinician contracts to deal with the false problem.

[...] Far too often I see parents who've decided that they want their child to be an Ivy League trendsetter and view any deviance of the child from this desire as a problem with the child; if your kid isn't interested in your goals for your kid then that likely just means that maybe you shouldn't be setting his life goals for him.

[...]

Just because you, the parent, think something is right for your child doesn't mean that thing is actually right for your child.

In my experience it's far better for a parent to lend support than force it. If a child isn't ready or willing to do what you think is best for him it may simply be that what you think is best for him isn't what's actually best for him.

Would you rather your child be successful or happy?

Best comment so far and will be hard to best. Not like the usual stuff you find around a comment´s section. It realy has only one shortcoming: Could you please name the studies you are talking about so everyone interested here can look them up?

Setting the goals for your children is wrong. Neglecting parental responsibility is also wrong. Now we are dancing on a razor´s edge. Parenting is not fun and you often have to do things according to better judgment on your part. This is you have to enable your child to engage society which means you are responsible that your child is successful in school so it has the possibility to enroll in higher education or persue a career. This is up until the point the child becomes more mature and finaly must make tough decisions on his own.
To be clear when I say the parents have to sometimes decide against the will of the child I am talking about children like primary and secondary school assuming you live in a society in which it is mandatory to archive this level of education to be considered a full fledged member of that society. yes I am saying that the child has basicly no say wether it wants to be educated or not. Assuming you start school with 6 and have to visit the school like 10 years you are 16 years old at the time of graduating school (if nothing did go wrong). After graduating you have the choice of either going to work or persue even higher education (depending on where you live this one depends on some criteria like money). It is around that time (sometimes earlier sometimes a bit later I am generalizing here but you all surely get the idea about what time in your life I am talking about) that parents have to consider the goals and decisions of their children seriously as those of an autonomous person who decides for him- or herself. Parents have to respect those decisions (not agree with them necesserily) because their child has now responsibility and acountability over his or her own actions.