Dear Alistair...

[darthzew]

Alistair, there's something we need to discuss. Namely, you need to leave. Fast. Why? Well it's very simple:

I hate you.

Your jokes are awful. You're annoying. There is not a single shred of likability to your character. I've tried talking to you, but it's always some smartass comment that is your attempt at redeeming your otherwise empty character. Well, it's failed miserably.

I don't take you on quests with me anymore because I rue the moment you'll open your mouth. It spews nothing but the most obnoxiously failed jokes of all time. That, and your voice has this terrible hint of a lisp that just makes me want to beat the living crap out of Sandal. Sandal is adorable, I really don't want to do this, but you make me get close to it.

Do you remember when we saw the dog after the battle? The first thing you said about it, "It's not mangy."

Well, guess what? I named the dog mangy. Just to contradict your sorry, annoying, unfunny ass.

Love,


PS: Hell NO am I doing a romance plot with you.

Anyway, discussion...
Am I the only one who hates Alistair this much?
What other video game characters do you absolutely loathe?

EDIT: Turns out Alistair made Game Informer's 2009 list of top ten biggest dorks.

Don't turn this into a hate thread - they end up evolving into flaming often. Consider this a warning - stay on topic, or I will lock this.

 

[robakerson]

It was pretty irritating that he was pretty much whining about *all* of the other characters throughout the game, but he was a good tank so i kept him through it :\

 

[darthzew]

It was pretty irritating that he was pretty much whining about *all* of the other characters throughout the game, but he was a good tank so i kept him through it :\

Yeah, but then Sten comes along. And then I found the dog even more useful than him...

 

[Death on Trapezoids]

Uh, when I clicked on this I though you were referring to the Fallout 3 character, Tenpenny. Your rant mostly applies to him, though.

 

[darthzew]

Uh, when I clicked on this I though you were referring to the Fallout 3 character, Tenpenny. Your rant mostly applies to him, though.

I guess Alistair is just a whiny little ***** name... I think there was an Alistair in the most recent Tomb Raider games. He was pretty annoying too.

 

[Kiju]

Yes...I believe you are the only one who does. I suppose it requires a sense of humor beyond your caliber, but maybe that's just my opinion. I for one, liked Alistair. He may not have had the most original design or witty jokes, but he was still enough to get a smile out of me now and then.

As for the post's question...I'd have to say I hate Gordon Freeman. He makes the Master Chief seem to have a personality, he's that one-dimensional. But then again, I hate the Half Life series, it's garbage, so maybe my opinion is biased.

 

[Dr. wonderful]

No, I didn't hate him...Actually didn't you at least try to harden him?

He becomes more badass after being harden.

 

[The Austin]

Most people like Alistar.

But, lets see, a character I can't stand.....

Uhhh.... I'm coming up blank here. Uhhh....
I'll get back to you on that.

 

[thejayk]

As a character I wanted to cut his tongue out and feed it to the dog but as a fighter he was useful so i tolerated him

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

What are you nuts? I like Alistair and his witty sarcasm. He and Morrigan have the best NPC banter in the whole damn game.

 

[zehydra]

The commanders from Battalion Wars. The voice acting of Brigadier Betty is more than a little grating on the ears.

 

[Enigma6667]

It's official: We shall eliminate all people and characters named Alistair to cleanse this world of general douchebaggery.

 

[Shadow XXVII]

It's official: We shall eliminate all people and characters named Alistair to cleanse this world of general douchebaggery.

Add Enrique too and we should be cool.

 

[darthzew]

What are you nuts? I like Alistair and his witty sarcasm. He and Morrigan have the best NPC banter in the whole damn game.

I'll give you that one. Morrigan and Alistair made a good pair, but it was more Morrigan being funny than him. Morrigan is awesome and I bring her a long a lot.

 

[HT_Black]

I actually kind of liked Alistair...but then again, I intentionally let Dog die, killed Wynne for no real reason, and brought Sten along for 90% of the game.

 

[Arisato-kun]

Alistair's actually my favorite Dragon Age character so I must disagree with everything you said. However, I think there's one character we can all universally agree to hate.

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

What are you nuts? I like Alistair and his witty sarcasm. He and Morrigan have the best NPC banter in the whole damn game.

I'll give you that one. Morrigan and Alistair made a good pair, but it was more Morrigan being funny than him. Morrigan is awesome and I bring her a long a lot.

I did that to...until Leliana came along that is.

 

[IxionIndustries]

I liked Allistair.. But once I decided to save the kid with Blood Magic, OH NOES! Here comes the legendary Templar Period.

To be honest, I hated all the characters in the game, because no matter what I did, EVERYONE bitched.

 

[Grayson Illo]

Actually, I retract my previous post. I haven't gotten that far, you see, and made a hasty judgement. After about five hours into the game, I can say I like Alistair. He cracks me up, that's all. I can't really say anything about his justice side or anything. I've already seen a lot of that already in Garrus.

 

[Canid117]

So... he was Dragon Age's version of Carth? I think Mass Effect II might be the only game where I liked all the party members on at least some level. Every other game they do has at least one douchebag that I hate with a damn passion. Have yet to play DAO but I do not think I am looking forward to him if your little letter is accurate.