Deleting Data Earns A Punch

[DudeistBelieve]

My God your right, such a thing is completely intolerable to a grown adult.

Again, that it's okay to resort to violence over such petty insignificant things. Oh mocking a 26 year old man out of ear shot, to feel slighted by a 13 IS PATHETIC!

Yeah. That's why he should've given him a pat on the head and encouraged him to continue. That's what grown adults do, right? Let everything slide.

Or just let it go because it's a fucking video game and a 13 year old.

Or if one's feelings are so deeply hurt you let a PARENT punish the kid. Though clearly the parents must be morons, they raised one person to think its okay for him at 26 years old to assault a CHILD. Brother or not, that's retarded.

 

[RealRT]

Or just let it go because it's a fucking video game and a 13 year old.

Or if one's feelings are so deeply hurt you let a PARENT punish the kid. Though clearly the parents must be morons, they raised one person to think its okay for him at 26 years old to assault a CHILD. Brother or not, that's retarded.

It's funny, I think I already replied to messages like that. A pity nobody takes time to read these days. What did I say? Ah.
It's not about a video game
and
The teen in question will think that the big bro is snitching because he's too weak and therefor is okay to pick on. And yeah, if we go to technical terms, words "assault a child" sound much much spookier than "punch a 13-year old in the shoulder".

A 26 year old is expected to be a mature person and act accordingly. Hitting a child does not teach them that their actions caused them to get hit, instead it teaches them that you can get away with hitting someone if you are bigger than they are. They see the person who hits as responsible for them getting hit not that their actions are responsible for them getting hit, because their actions are not what caused them to get hit, the person who hit thems actions are what caused them to get hit. What you are suggesting is that they should blame themselves for the actions of the person hitting them, which is not only victim blaming, but having the victim blame themselves. They are separate actions and separate responsibility for those actions. The person who hits is solely responsible for their actions, blaming the person they are hitting is victim blaming.

I disagree with " punishment" being necessary at all for people to learn respect rather instead they should use it as an educational opportunity. The end goal should be for them to understand the need for respect for others, not to be hurt or punished for their actions. Education is far more effective than a short term punishment at reducing repeat offenses.

Show them the need for respect for others and why we cannot function is such a way with examples and practice rather than bullying them into submission. All that bullying does is teach them " if I was bigger and stronger I could hurt you instead" or have them resort to use of weapons to defend themselves against someone they cannot physically beat. All that physical abuse does is humiliate them and reduce their understanding of respect.

Again, how accordingly? Telling parents - I already said why that's not an option.
Besides, you seem to see children as pure and untouchable and that's not always true. Some are pretty despicable. Hell, if I met my teenage self, there's a good chance I'd punch his/my face in for some things and I don't think I was as bad as some teens I met. And here they are, a person who you refuse to deal with physically and who refuses to reason with you on any level. What do you do? Ultimately, some situations cannot be reasoned with peacefully. Yes, non-violent solutions are preferrable, but there are cases in which there are none.

How exactly do you show the need for respect for others? Remember that we don't have a child on our hands, we have a teen, and teens, starting from 12-14 think they know everything better than the rest and that the world is deeply retarded and all the ways it works are wrong and yadda-yadda-yadda, you get the picture. Hell if I know. I dread the thoughts of me ever getting children and them hitting these years because I'd end up hanging from the seiling or mixing up a door and a 9-story window.

 

[Signa]

Clearly, several people have forgotten what 13 year olds are like. Go play some Call of Duty and then come back here and keep telling us that they need such protection. I wager it won't be quite so easy.

 

[TheIceQueen]

I'm 21 years old and my brother is 12. He's a little shithead, as most boys that age are, but when he's a shithead, I never react violently. I don't punch him. I don't kick him. I don't hurt him. Why? Because I'm an adult and I've matured well past the need to lash out. If he needs to be punished, I'll take something of his away, one of his video games or some of his money, and give him an earful of a lecture. He learns his lesson fast.

 

[DudeistBelieve]

Or just let it go because it's a fucking video game and a 13 year old.

Or if one's feelings are so deeply hurt you let a PARENT punish the kid. Though clearly the parents must be morons, they raised one person to think its okay for him at 26 years old to assault a CHILD. Brother or not, that's retarded.

It's funny, I think I already replied to messages like that. A pity nobody takes time to read these days. What did I say? Ah.
It's not about a video game
and
The teen in question will think that the big bro is snitching because he's too weak and therefor is okay to pick on. And yeah, if we go to technical terms, words "assault a child" sound much much spookier than "punch a 13-year old in the shoulder".

A 26 year old is expected to be a mature person and act accordingly. Hitting a child does not teach them that their actions caused them to get hit, instead it teaches them that you can get away with hitting someone if you are bigger than they are. They see the person who hits as responsible for them getting hit not that their actions are responsible for them getting hit, because their actions are not what caused them to get hit, the person who hit thems actions are what caused them to get hit. What you are suggesting is that they should blame themselves for the actions of the person hitting them, which is not only victim blaming, but having the victim blame themselves. They are separate actions and separate responsibility for those actions. The person who hits is solely responsible for their actions, blaming the person they are hitting is victim blaming.

I disagree with " punishment" being necessary at all for people to learn respect rather instead they should use it as an educational opportunity. The end goal should be for them to understand the need for respect for others, not to be hurt or punished for their actions. Education is far more effective than a short term punishment at reducing repeat offenses.

Show them the need for respect for others and why we cannot function is such a way with examples and practice rather than bullying them into submission. All that bullying does is teach them " if I was bigger and stronger I could hurt you instead" or have them resort to use of weapons to defend themselves against someone they cannot physically beat. All that physical abuse does is humiliate them and reduce their understanding of respect.

Again, how accordingly? Telling parents - I already said why that's not an option.
Besides, you seem to see children as pure and untouchable and that's not always true. Some are pretty despicable. Hell, if I met my teenage self, there's a good chance I'd punch his/my face in for some things and I don't think I was as bad as some teens I met. And here they are, a person who you refuse to deal with physically and who refuses to reason with you on any level. What do you do? Ultimately, some situations cannot be reasoned with peacefully. Yes, non-violent solutions are preferrable, but there are cases in which there are none.

How exactly do you show the need for respect for others? Remember that we don't have a child on our hands, we have a teen, and teens, starting from 12-14 think they know everything better than the rest and that the world is deeply retarded and all the ways it works are wrong and yadda-yadda-yadda, you get the picture. Hell if I know. I dread the thoughts of me ever getting children and them hitting these years because I'd end up hanging from the seiling or mixing up a door and a 9-story window.

Oh you're one of those "STOP SNITCHIN'" folk? Ho ho, clearly its important to prove how HARD you be, Gangsta. We're all very impressed.

 

[FoxKitsune]

Brothers and sisters fight all the time, it happens and yeah, it gets let go. You see a pair of kids fighting when you're out, one hits another, you'd tell their parents if they were present but maybe not get involved otherwise, not unless it was something serious.

Now if you see an adult (26) punch a child/teenager (13) in public, then I hope to god you'd step in. Yes, a lot of children these days need to learn a lot of serious lessons about how to behave. With that said I'll quote something I heard a long time ago. "If you're arguing with a child, you've already lost."

Now I've worked with kids a long time. Presently with a group of 3-5's, but I've worked in late primary school age too, so I do get that kids can be outright malicious sometimes, for a lot of different reasons. Hell, I was bullied at school and I don't for a second imagine that things have changed drastically since then. But the problem is there's two ways to look at this. The innocent way: two brothers fighting over something that, while upsetting, means very little in the scheme of things, or the way that the government, childcare professionals, and pretty much anyone else in an official capacity will see it: Child abuse.

If a child under my care comes to the setting and tells me that, more to the point, if the child's got a physical mark left over it doesn't matter how innocent I think it is, it gets followed up on. It's how things are done, and suddenly that silly punch you threw in anger might well be a permanent black mark on your record at the very least.

All that said, the OP's statement pretty much reads to me that, to him at least, this was an innocent thing. Now I respect him for having the sense and conscience to question it afterwards, quite frankly. Everyone makes mistakes and does things they shouldn't do, then they hopefully learn from them. What I find really upsets me about this thread isn't the OP's action, but the sheer amount of support for it.

Hitting your kids is one of those very blurred line discussions, and one I normally stay the hell away from, but here's the facts. A save got deleted. The kid was cocky. He was then punched (in innocent speak, assaulted or abused in official speak) by a 26 year old. Whatever discipline the child in question deserved, physical punishment is not the brother's call to make, if anyone's.

 

[Imperioratorex Caprae]

That deserves a charlie horse at least. Deleting saves is a sin, punishable by torturous noogies and indian burns.
Why is it we revert to 10 years old when we lose our saves to dumbassery? Even at 34 I still feel that noogies are a valid solution to a save deletion.

 

[Kelorin]

I usually here for the articles and don't post very often, but I feel the need to jump in on this one. Most of the other posters have gone into a fair amount of detail about the what the OP should not have done (hit the younger brother).

So what should the OP have done? What would be the proportionate force response?
1) Delete one of the younger brother's game saves?
2) Delete the younger brother's gamer profile?
3) Password lock the console/PC?
4) Some combination of the above?
5) Other?

I don't know if I would have hit the younger brother in the same situation, but I definitely would have felt the need to deprive him of something 'equal in value' as lesson and/or punishment. Something that took the little twerp 50+ hours of chores or part time job or gaming to acquire.

One other thing. It was never about the game itself. A late game save in game like GTA V represents a significant investment of personal time. Time that the younger brother declared as being worthless or without value by casually deleting the save file. Is this a cry for attention? Should the older brother have been spending more time with the younger instead of wasting 50+ hours on a game? Is that the message here?

 

[Lil devils x_v1legacy]

Or just let it go because it's a fucking video game and a 13 year old.

Or if one's feelings are so deeply hurt you let a PARENT punish the kid. Though clearly the parents must be morons, they raised one person to think its okay for him at 26 years old to assault a CHILD. Brother or not, that's retarded.

It's funny, I think I already replied to messages like that. A pity nobody takes time to read these days. What did I say? Ah.
It's not about a video game
and
The teen in question will think that the big bro is snitching because he's too weak and therefor is okay to pick on. And yeah, if we go to technical terms, words "assault a child" sound much much spookier than "punch a 13-year old in the shoulder".

A 26 year old is expected to be a mature person and act accordingly. Hitting a child does not teach them that their actions caused them to get hit, instead it teaches them that you can get away with hitting someone if you are bigger than they are. They see the person who hits as responsible for them getting hit not that their actions are responsible for them getting hit, because their actions are not what caused them to get hit, the person who hit thems actions are what caused them to get hit. What you are suggesting is that they should blame themselves for the actions of the person hitting them, which is not only victim blaming, but having the victim blame themselves. They are separate actions and separate responsibility for those actions. The person who hits is solely responsible for their actions, blaming the person they are hitting is victim blaming.

I disagree with " punishment" being necessary at all for people to learn respect rather instead they should use it as an educational opportunity. The end goal should be for them to understand the need for respect for others, not to be hurt or punished for their actions. Education is far more effective than a short term punishment at reducing repeat offenses.

Show them the need for respect for others and why we cannot function is such a way with examples and practice rather than bullying them into submission. All that bullying does is teach them " if I was bigger and stronger I could hurt you instead" or have them resort to use of weapons to defend themselves against someone they cannot physically beat. All that physical abuse does is humiliate them and reduce their understanding of respect.

Again, how accordingly? Telling parents - I already said why that's not an option.
Besides, you seem to see children as pure and untouchable and that's not always true. Some are pretty despicable. Hell, if I met my teenage self, there's a good chance I'd punch his/my face in for some things and I don't think I was as bad as some teens I met. And here they are, a person who you refuse to deal with physically and who refuses to reason with you on any level. What do you do? Ultimately, some situations cannot be reasoned with peacefully. Yes, non-violent solutions are preferrable, but there are cases in which there are none.

How exactly do you show the need for respect for others? Remember that we don't have a child on our hands, we have a teen, and teens, starting from 12-14 think they know everything better than the rest and that the world is deeply retarded and all the ways it works are wrong and yadda-yadda-yadda, you get the picture. Hell if I know. I dread the thoughts of me ever getting children and them hitting these years because I'd end up hanging from the seiling or mixing up a door and a 9-story window.

He is an adult, so he deals with it as an adult does. You do not just take discussing with parents off the table because "it isn't cool to be a snitch", that is how a child thinks, not an adult. As an adult, he should discuss this with his parents because when dealing with minors, you must consult their guardian and this will provide a united front rather than escalating the situation. The options available depend on the situation. Whether or not they have their own room, or share a room will determine what can be done in regards to establishing boundaries. This is where you start:
http://www.parenting.org/article/respect
http://www.allanfindlay.com/articles/respect_from_teen.htm

A child lashes out because they to have been disrespected, and you cannot expect them to respect you if you do not show them respect first.

There are many activities that will help teach the importance of respect for others and depending on where you live you can weigh the options available for volunteer work. Volunteer work is a great tool for character building and showing the importance of community hands on. Often teens tune out most of what is told to them, however, when dealing with things hands on they are able to see the cause and effect of actions first hand giving them a better understanding of community and how society functions rather than it being a " kids word" vs " adult world" POV increasing their respect for the world and those around them.

 

[Eve Charm]

Alright lets be honest here, Big brother punches the kid in the shoulder is a pretty good indicator that this isn't something you should do. It's better something happens because if he did this to a friend, classmate, acquaintance that flips the hell out because 100 or so hours of data is destroyed they go out and beat the hell out of the kid. Or decided it might be funny to delete parents business on computer. Kids need a bit more discipline this day and age.

 

[Strazdas]

you are 26. you are old enough to know that what you did is wrong. you do not puch people. its verly likely you have commited a seriuos crime if this ever got out to authorities.
Also, always backup your save files before giving acess to the game to anyone else. oh, wait, you cant do that on consoles, more things they cant do....

I would imagine that most posters in this topic don't have siblings. He punched his brother in the shoulder. That kind of stuff happens all the time. I can't help laughing at the people saying it's assault.

Its bad that this kind of stuff happens all the time. it is assault. the fact that so many people think punching others is acceptable action is a problem with society.

 

[Muspelheim]

A lighter punch on the shoulder as a disciplinary action seems to be in order. Anything more wouldn't, but if it is more about marking a boundry, it's perfectly alright.

-However-, considering you already gave him a wedgie, punching him was going slightly beyond the line, I'd say. It's easy to say, of course, but it was too much. Particularly considering the age gap. He brought it on himself, certainly, but it was not a good idea.

But, while save data from a game is a rather trivial reason to punch someone, if someone is demonstrating their complete lack of respect towards you and your stuff, you are well within your rights to put your foot down, particularly if they won't listen and have been doing that for years. Further, he is thirteen years old. At that age, it's reasonable to expect that he has a modicum of respect to others and their stuff. He isn't a toddler that don't know what he's doing.

It wasn't right, it certainly wasn't, but it was for a reason. But the wedgie was enough.

With some luck, he might be slightly less of a prat with other people's stuff in the future after the experience, but it'd be best to talk to him, acknowledging that the punch was a bit much, but why he himself made it happen to him. Make up, be friends or at least not openly hostile.

Keep it in mind, though. Don't let it become a habit. Lashing out certainly happens, but it's a very unpleasant trait to get in to.