I have had this idea tumbling in my head for a while now, and I feel like if I put it anywhere, it should be here. I would just write it for a class or just show it to friends, but I have to write this somewhere where I'll get feedback that will help me write better, not just "Uh... It's okay... Really... uh... good...".
Here goes absolutely nothing.
Chapter 1.
A crumpled heap of what looks like a person is on the ground. The room is dark, and with every raspy breath he sucked in, it feels like a gallon of water. The room is humid, musty, and dirty. He sweats and breathes, lying face-down on the ground.
The metal door creaks open slightly, allowing a slight light to come in. The room has one way mirrors all around, a soft, white floor, like in an asylum. The door fully opens, and brings in a flood of bright sunlight, as if it was the door outside.
The body shoots upright, kneeling. A shock of pain goes through his head and back. He opens his bloodshot eyes only to have them burned by the bright light. "What's happened?", he thinks, as he lies back down to be met with more bolts of fiery aches and pains.
A woman walks in, lab-coat and orange goggles. She is bleach blond, with a pixie cut. Her eyes are blue-green, with long, curled eyelashes. She has a small, pointed nose and thin, dry lips. "Sir, if you'd like to wake up now." She says, in sickly sweet tones. The young man kneels up again, keeping his eyes closed. "Oooooh... My... My head..."
"It will be over soon, Mr. Daniels.", says the woman, again with noticeably faked niceness.
The boy rubs his forehead, then his eyes. He opens them up to see a blurry white room with a face sticking out.
"Hello?" he says, his eyes focusing and seeing the woman.
"How hungover am I?" he says.
"A side effect of the drug, no doubt. You are just here for some tests, Mr.Daniels. It will be over in less than a few seconds." says the woman, angrily but composed.
"Must be high, too." he says, disjointedly.
"Sir, will you allow the tests?" she says, with more than a hint more anger than before.
"I'll allow anything." he says.
"Good, good..." she says, drawing a small metal stick with two small wires sticking out.
"Just keep your eyes open." she says, moving the stick closer to his face. Blue sparks flew off the ends of the wires.
"Whoa, whoa, the Hell is that?!"
"It won't hurt a bit." she says, jabbing stick closer to his face. The wires flew out and stuck in his eyes, pushing shocks through his eyes, to his brain, down the spine, and everywhere. The shock would have killed a normal person. But a normal person wouldn't get this shock. Not at all.
Here goes absolutely nothing.
Chapter 1.
A crumpled heap of what looks like a person is on the ground. The room is dark, and with every raspy breath he sucked in, it feels like a gallon of water. The room is humid, musty, and dirty. He sweats and breathes, lying face-down on the ground.
The metal door creaks open slightly, allowing a slight light to come in. The room has one way mirrors all around, a soft, white floor, like in an asylum. The door fully opens, and brings in a flood of bright sunlight, as if it was the door outside.
The body shoots upright, kneeling. A shock of pain goes through his head and back. He opens his bloodshot eyes only to have them burned by the bright light. "What's happened?", he thinks, as he lies back down to be met with more bolts of fiery aches and pains.
A woman walks in, lab-coat and orange goggles. She is bleach blond, with a pixie cut. Her eyes are blue-green, with long, curled eyelashes. She has a small, pointed nose and thin, dry lips. "Sir, if you'd like to wake up now." She says, in sickly sweet tones. The young man kneels up again, keeping his eyes closed. "Oooooh... My... My head..."
"It will be over soon, Mr. Daniels.", says the woman, again with noticeably faked niceness.
The boy rubs his forehead, then his eyes. He opens them up to see a blurry white room with a face sticking out.
"Hello?" he says, his eyes focusing and seeing the woman.
"How hungover am I?" he says.
"A side effect of the drug, no doubt. You are just here for some tests, Mr.Daniels. It will be over in less than a few seconds." says the woman, angrily but composed.
"Must be high, too." he says, disjointedly.
"Sir, will you allow the tests?" she says, with more than a hint more anger than before.
"I'll allow anything." he says.
"Good, good..." she says, drawing a small metal stick with two small wires sticking out.
"Just keep your eyes open." she says, moving the stick closer to his face. Blue sparks flew off the ends of the wires.
"Whoa, whoa, the Hell is that?!"
"It won't hurt a bit." she says, jabbing stick closer to his face. The wires flew out and stuck in his eyes, pushing shocks through his eyes, to his brain, down the spine, and everywhere. The shock would have killed a normal person. But a normal person wouldn't get this shock. Not at all.
