If it helps ill tell you little about my history if mental illness. I ve been suffering al my life from from various sort of things, lack of being recognise, low selfasteam, always setting the standards of how good i should be and ofc never being good enoff, bad eating habbits, little ore lack of sleep, constant worreing about what might happen, putting myself as wrong duer in peoples problem and as follows, guilt guilt guilt...
Al this bad patterns ive practiced al my life ore say 15 years atleast and for the last 5 years ive been dealing with al the shit it makes me do ore not do. I had a meltdown when I was about 19 and im now 24 and still struggleing with the above daily, as alot of these negative anomalies makes me do bad things ore practecly do nothing ore as they make me afraid sometimes and I run into otherworlds like computergaming, tv-series, movies ore food to forget and supress.
Seeing a psychologist and a doctor, having light medication and trying new things is something that helps alot. Also sorrounding yourself with people who are willing to understand you, boost you and help you, activities that activates your body as it realeases the bodys own "happie" substances and good food really helps to keep a higher curve in your mood.
Its hard sometimes and sometimes your down on the floor screaming your lungs out cuss it hurts, sometimes one performs as al the rest, and sometimes your better. The most important thing is to never give up, cuss the longer you keep at doing good to yourself, the more the body will learn. Even if it feels hopeless sometimes, cuss for me the bad has been there so long so its hard to make a dent in the wall of bricks just by blowing at it, but in time you will learn new ways of attacking the problems and soon youll be jusing a sledgehammer to brake down that wall.
Never give up my friend, but dont be afraid to rest either, sometimes its nice to take a step back and see how far one has come on the journey.
I hope me sharing this helps you understand that your not allown and if you need answers there out there and people are willing to share =)
And remember "It is always darkest just before the Day dawneth" ,1650 T. Fuller Pisgah Sight
(I apologise for my poor english, not my native language)