Development Begins on Asteroids Movie

[The Shade]

Haha! April Foo-

Oh, wait. Damn...

Seriously...?

 

[Lord Thodin]

Im goin to see it in Imax.

"Sir we are being attacked!"
"By what?!"
"ASTEROIDS SIR!!"
"Those damned space rocks. They musta followed us from the last asteroid belt we killed."
"Crafty Devils. ALRIGHT MAN THE CANNONS! YOU KNOW THE DRILL!"

 

[Simon Hadow]

Proof that there is a god. But not a kind, loving, forgive your sins, Jesus type god. Like one who loves to watch us suffer and be confused for their own sick amusment, like a kid playing sim city. That type of god.

 

[velcthulhu]

I just hope they stay true to the depth and complexity of the original characters. A lot of video game movies get dumbed down for theater audiences, and I'd hate to see that happen to such an intricate and meaningful story.

 

[War Penguin]

*Sigh* Okay. It's official. We're running out of ideas for movies.

 

[DigitalSushi]

shooting and rocks exploding?, we must call Michael Bay immediately.

 

[XJ-0461]

How could this possibly work? On any conceivable level?

 

[johnman]

I will get flamed for this, but isnt Micheal Bay perfect for this? He doesnt need to do anything hard, just have a ship shoot asteriods, and even though theres no explosions in space, I'm sure he will put some in.

shooting and rocks exploding?, we must call Michael Bay immediately.

Dam beaten by two posts!

 

[Bigsmith]

We all need to remember what yatzee has said, we all need to think thats its going to be bad. Then if it is bad we will be happy and if its good we still be happy.

 

[I III II X4]

A small colony terraforming a barren planet are surrounded by asteroids. The story focuses on a man whose job involves clearing a path while supplies are shipped in. At the same time, he deals with his collapsing marriage. Then, his life goes wrong. His wife reveals she's having an affair with one of the guys on the shipment run. In a moment of weakness, he lets the next ship get hit. When he returns to the surface he's fired, and finds that his wife's lover had stayed behind. Furious, she leaves him. News gets around, and he's put in jail. However, his replacement sucks. With the colony on the verge of disaster, he is released on the condition he clears the path as a punishment. When the next shipment is safely on the ground, they call him back down, offering him a full pardon.

However, he's finished with the colony and, in an act of defiance, he flies off through the open path, resolving to leave that barren piece of rock in hopes of greener pastures.

In the original ending, he chooses suicide, and flies headlong into the asteroid field.

The main character is to be played by Bruce Willis.

*Dramatic pause*

That...ain't bad, actually, could be a hell lot worse.

 

[Uncompetative]

Asteroids - The Movie might look something like this:


It could be good...

You know, I don't understand all the hate for the newer Star Wars Episodes - they were sporadically good; I would rather have them than not.

 

[The_Bat_Dan]

Huh?

 

[PsykoDragon]

wut

 

[Low Key]

I don't see any possible way how that could be good, but hey, it's not my money they are spending.

 

[garfoldsomeoneelse]

Well, it will be able to have more artistic freedom and plot freedom than most video game based movies, so perhaps it will be great.

I have to agree. This actually has to potential to be turned into something quite excellent.

HOWEVER.

Sadly, the plot will be like this:

Rugged Ex-Space Marine with a chip on his shoulder has something to prove. Lost his family on a 'safe and secure' Space Marine evacuation vessel. He quit the Space Marines and goes from space station to station selling salvaged ship parts for money. He's scared of Asteroid fields.

Love interest that knows there's something good in the Space Marines heart. She's a thief.

Have the Space Marine meet this woman, who just stole food because she's hungry, and he gets her out of there. They float in space for a bit and eventually get chased by some space cops. They speed off and run in to an ASTEROID FIELD! OH GOD!

They enter, the cops stop chasing (queue Star Wars reference of the chance to live while going through an A.F. (that they will call asteroid fields), and the space marine and thief have to make it through the asteroid field alive!

And that's the entire movie.

This seems to be the most likely outcome.

 

[gbemery]

What's next, Pong the Movie?

I even heard that they are going to make Monopoly a movie as well

 

[arkwright]

it doesnt matter how bad this movie is going to be there will allways be some artsy ponce raving about how its a cult movie and we wouldnt understand it.

 

[Jumplion]

Okay, I swear, if someone is going to try and make a movie with Katamari Damacy I demand that I be the director for that movie!

nnnaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhnah nah nah Nah Nah Nah NAH NAH NAH. NAH. NAH NAH NAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH