Did you just call him gay?
- Thread starter Nathaniel Grey
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Hahaha. "Yo, chill with that". God damn, that is funny. What prompted you to say that when you were trying to act all tough? It's about the least-threatening thing you could say. But hey, if it got the guy off the back of your friend, fair enough I guess.
Hey leave him alone, we all have power fantasies about beating up idiot middle schoolers.SmashLovesTitanQuest said:
OP it's great that you stood up for the kid but is this thread anything more than an attempt to show off how supercoolbadarse you are? "Chillin' in fighting class"? "felt the aura"? "David and Goliath?" Haha c'mon.
Good job, now if you friend really is gay, he'll be afraid to tell you, because that comes off as kinda anti-gay.
Also, threatenig middle schoolers isn't cool. Given you're in college.
To say fight with words would be kinda ironic given you are in fighting class ( what ever that means).
Also, threatenig middle schoolers isn't cool. Given you're in college.
To say fight with words would be kinda ironic given you are in fighting class ( what ever that means).
Let me clarify some things.
I notice a lot of escapists are really anti-violence, or at least non-violent, which is why I was interested in seeing how you all would handle that situation. This wasn't a post to show off. I just want to get the escapist perspective.
1. The kid ain't gay. And I ain't gay.
2. I made the story descriptive, "aura", "david and goliath" only to give you a better understanding of what the three of us felt at the time. Which was the fact that I was getting ready to beat the shit out of this kid.
3. I could care less about the slurs. I call people fag and gay all the time. What bothered me was that my friend had no defensive mechanism on how to handle this type of situation so I decided to handle it for him.
4. A lot of you seem to think that your adult responses would work on a 8th grader and they wouldn't. Saying "So" or making a smart-alicky comment, especially when neither of us is gay, does nothing to help the situation. It would have only gave that kid more fuel.
*5. What the heck would be wrong with laying a middle schooler out?
I notice a lot of escapists are really anti-violence, or at least non-violent, which is why I was interested in seeing how you all would handle that situation. This wasn't a post to show off. I just want to get the escapist perspective.
1. The kid ain't gay. And I ain't gay.
2. I made the story descriptive, "aura", "david and goliath" only to give you a better understanding of what the three of us felt at the time. Which was the fact that I was getting ready to beat the shit out of this kid.
3. I could care less about the slurs. I call people fag and gay all the time. What bothered me was that my friend had no defensive mechanism on how to handle this type of situation so I decided to handle it for him.
4. A lot of you seem to think that your adult responses would work on a 8th grader and they wouldn't. Saying "So" or making a smart-alicky comment, especially when neither of us is gay, does nothing to help the situation. It would have only gave that kid more fuel.
*5. What the heck would be wrong with laying a middle schooler out?
I'm not physically imposing, but I match weight for my height (6') and know exactly how to use it. But I rarely need to, apparently I have eyes that tell stories, some of which are apparently scarier than a Stephen King nightmare because I've rarely needed to say much, if anything, to defuse a situation.
That being said, laying out a kid for being a douchbag is probably the wrong thing to do so you did what I'd have done, let the dumbass know he's stepping across the line and would do very well to take a step back and make sure he didn't track any dirt on his way out. I don't condone violence, but there are some people who only understand it -or at least the threat of it- and won't respond to anything else.
Kid especially are stupid, despite how smart they can be, they're stupid in general. Ignorant may be a better term. Ignorant because they don't see the world around them as anything else but an extension of themselves instead of the other way around, and some never grow out of that childish ignorance.
That being said, laying out a kid for being a douchbag is probably the wrong thing to do so you did what I'd have done, let the dumbass know he's stepping across the line and would do very well to take a step back and make sure he didn't track any dirt on his way out. I don't condone violence, but there are some people who only understand it -or at least the threat of it- and won't respond to anything else.
Kid especially are stupid, despite how smart they can be, they're stupid in general. Ignorant may be a better term. Ignorant because they don't see the world around them as anything else but an extension of themselves instead of the other way around, and some never grow out of that childish ignorance.
Hah.Nathaniel Grey said:
1. Irrelevant?
2. I'm guessing/hoping your major isn't creative writing? And wow, is getting ready to beat up a child really something you want to be bragging about?
3. Calling people fag and gay is awful and childish and you should stop. You said you are in college? Are you sure?
4. Are you studying education or child psychology?
5. Hmm.. What's wrong with an adult physically attacking a child? Ohh I don't know, probably everything.
EDIT: It would be great if you could elaborate what "fight school" is. I'm genuinely curious.
Considering violence for something as inconsequential as that? That isn't being a man, or being a good friend. That's like being a random thug in a bar. You did the right thing I guess, though I would have done it with a fraction of the drama.
If you're in college and you seriously are about to beat up a kid far younger than yourself for pulling the same shit that you just admitted to pulling, yeah, that's pretty darn David and Goliath. Except you know how that story ends, right? Especially with you being Goliath?
Seriously, dude, there's no dignity in beating up kids. What's next, pushing somebody in a wheelchair down a flight of stairs and then whooping and hollering about being the BEST! FIGHTER! EVAR!...?
If your friend is bothered by this type of stuff coming from a middle schooler, he's probably bothered by it coming from you, too. Maybe the good first step here would be to take a moment and evaluate yourself and just mention to your friend - maybe in the form of a favor, like: "hey, about that thing the other day, I realized I was kinda doing the same thing calling people 'fag' and 'gay' as insults when that's not cool of me, so I'm gonna try to clean up my act about it, so if you catch me doing that just punch me in the shoulder or something ok?" Because seriously, if you're in college, you should probably do a little growing up out of middle school insults. At least upgrade to "fuckface" or "douchecanoe" instead of throwing everybody who's non-hetero under the bus in your endeavors to insult people.
It may be that there are a ton more people than you realize who are gladly letting you assume they are straight because they know you see their sexuality as so deviant it can only be used as an insult against others, and therefore they don't feel at all safe letting you know otherwise. People get tossed out of the house by their parents for coming out, people get beaten up at school for it, etc, etc - if there's anyone who's not straight, they probably look at you hurling around 'fag' and 'gay' as insults and think that with your build and martial arts expertise you'll be coming for them if they let it slip they aren't straight. If you actually do anything of the sort, you don't need me to tell you that it's a dick move. But hopefully you're just kinda letting this stuff slip without really sitting and thinking about the overall ramifications of what's going on.
And, well, that broken look in your friend's eyes? It may be that they really look up to you and they're *NOT* straight, and that constant comments like that kid *and* the ones from you are what's beating him down. There's a whole lot of families that ostracize their kids when they come out. Think of this as an opportunity to maybe be a big brother type figure to this kid and teach him how to deal with stuff like this through self-confidence instead of violence.
Seriously, dude, there's no dignity in beating up kids. What's next, pushing somebody in a wheelchair down a flight of stairs and then whooping and hollering about being the BEST! FIGHTER! EVAR!...?
If your friend is bothered by this type of stuff coming from a middle schooler, he's probably bothered by it coming from you, too. Maybe the good first step here would be to take a moment and evaluate yourself and just mention to your friend - maybe in the form of a favor, like: "hey, about that thing the other day, I realized I was kinda doing the same thing calling people 'fag' and 'gay' as insults when that's not cool of me, so I'm gonna try to clean up my act about it, so if you catch me doing that just punch me in the shoulder or something ok?" Because seriously, if you're in college, you should probably do a little growing up out of middle school insults. At least upgrade to "fuckface" or "douchecanoe" instead of throwing everybody who's non-hetero under the bus in your endeavors to insult people.
It may be that there are a ton more people than you realize who are gladly letting you assume they are straight because they know you see their sexuality as so deviant it can only be used as an insult against others, and therefore they don't feel at all safe letting you know otherwise. People get tossed out of the house by their parents for coming out, people get beaten up at school for it, etc, etc - if there's anyone who's not straight, they probably look at you hurling around 'fag' and 'gay' as insults and think that with your build and martial arts expertise you'll be coming for them if they let it slip they aren't straight. If you actually do anything of the sort, you don't need me to tell you that it's a dick move. But hopefully you're just kinda letting this stuff slip without really sitting and thinking about the overall ramifications of what's going on.
And, well, that broken look in your friend's eyes? It may be that they really look up to you and they're *NOT* straight, and that constant comments like that kid *and* the ones from you are what's beating him down. There's a whole lot of families that ostracize their kids when they come out. Think of this as an opportunity to maybe be a big brother type figure to this kid and teach him how to deal with stuff like this through self-confidence instead of violence.
By day you're Zachary Amaranth, moderately gay person with an interest in video games. But by night you're Super Gay! I would like to think it comes with a really well put together costume. You can fly around the city righting wrongs and standing up for homosexuals everywhere. Presumably your powers would come from the testing of that "gay bomb" the Pentagon was working on.Zachary Amaranth said:
I'd probably have just laughed if some kid said that to me.Nathaniel Grey said:
To be honest its not your job to stand up for someone if they get called gay. They have to stand up be a man and deal with their own issues, fight their own battles as it were. Going to the gym or witty discussion with the accuser is a good place to start. I'm all for supporting my friends but in a situation like that its your friend vs the kid. You won't be there all the time so I'd let my mate deal with it himself. If it was a bunch of kids coming up and screaming at him then, then that's the time to chip in and give him a hand.
None the less you did the right thing, though he will need to help himself in the long run.
THANK YOU! FINALLY! Someone understands!Fappy said:
An 8th grader doesn't have that thing (A fucking conscience. Even if they do they probably wouldn't listen to it)the we adults have that tells us when we're going to far. That tells us maybe we should lay off on the jokes. They just keep going and going until the victim ends up like my friend a disheveled, pitiful mess.
In addition I already know how the escapist feels about fighting and violence. I made an old post about that and the consensus was that fighting is wrong. But, where I'm from there is not a problem with showing your dominance. I gave that kid options. Now he'll think twice before talking shit about someone who is twice his size.
1. It is relevant because many have suggested that I say something effeminate. Neither me or my friend are gay so saying something effeminate in order to prove a point is foolish. The kid is in 8th grade, he wouldn't even understand that.zen5887 said:
2. I'm not bragging. It is simply what I was thinking about doing. I have no qualms with it.
3. I see people do "faggy" and "gay" stuff all the time and I call it as I see it.
4. Naw.
5. If he is old enough to talk shit then he is old enough to get the shit kicked out of him.
Faggy and gay stuff? Wow, really? Are you sure you're in college?Nathaniel Grey said:
Are you sure you don't see an issue with a college aged person attacking a middle schooler? I'm not positive how old that makes that kid where you are, but in Australia an 8th grader is 13 or 14 years old. You're saying it's okay to punch, kick, and choke a kid who probably hasn't hit puberty because he is talking shit. That's pretty messed up man. For a lot of reasons.
I still don't know what fight class is, by the way.
EDIT: Snarkiness aside, you did the right thing and I would have done the same. I just find it so crazy that you called the kid out for doing a thing that you claim to do all the time and that violence was your first thought.
Well, assuming it worked, I think you did the right thing. I can say from personal experience that ignoring bullying/antagonizing/whatever doesn't always work. In my case, and others, it only shows that you are an easy target that doesn't resist. My problems only ended after I fought back and never happened again once I did. If you managed to do it without resorting to physical violence, more power to you.
My bad. I've just been calling it fighting class for so long it simply rolls off the tongue. It's karate.zen5887 said:
That is the entire point. I gave him options. The same options I have. The same options you have. When you see someone and your first instinct is to be a dick the fact that he might pummel you into the ground is enough to make you stay quiet. You can go around and say whatever the hell you feel like saying but understand that the repercussions might be a punch to the face. The fact that I chose to not hit him is a testament to the type of person I am. But if I found myself in a situation where I thought the best solution was for the kid to get hit. I'll hit him. Look I understand how you feel to a degree. You probably don't think there is ever an appropriate time to use the word fag and gay(in reference to a person) or to be hitting people, but there is a certain balance I try to maintain when making choices. Sometimes a snide remark is the best thing. But not all the time.Baffle said: