Curse my curiosity of all things cinematic. I really was not expecting this to be a good film, and there was no way I was going to go and actually pay money for this after enduring the mind numbing snooze-fests that were Meet The Spartans and Epic Movie, so I just watched a pirated copy of this film on the internet to simply see how bad these films can possibly get.
The answer is pretty god damn bad indeed. Even in films I don't really enjoy I still try to look for positives, especially when reviewing, to attempt to give a balanced and fair account. Keeping this in mind, you will have to excuse me if this review comes out a bit rant-like but there are no good points to speak of and the rest of this post will consist of me slating this film in as many ways as I can think of at the minute. Honest to god I cannot think of one thing about this film I thought was well done or enjoyable.
First off the plot. I even hesitate to call it a plot as I feel it would be an affront to all other plots in every other film that exists. Apparently some guy called Will has a dream that the world is going to end because of a crystal skull for some reason, then his girlfriend leaves him, the world begins to end but of course he is still in love with her so he goes to rescue her and stop the world from being destroyed. I will pause here and just leave a line before I continue for you to all grimace in disgust at this awful cliched concept for a story.
Done? Good, I shall go on. None of the massive gaping plot holes are explained such as why things come to life in a museum, why the world is ending because a skull is not on a table or why I sat through the entirety of this disjointed mess of a film. In a lot of comedy films though, the story is not meant to be incredibly absorbing, and merely serves as a mechanism to move the audience from one contextual joke to another. Disaster Movie seems to attempt this, but because none of the jokes are funny, it falls flat on its face with a nice loud crunch.
I am frankly insulted to be the target demographic of this film, being a teenage white male, as the humour is...well it just isn't humour. Throughout the whole hour and half of this I smirked (not even laughed) a massive total of once. It is the same tired, drawn out old jokes from the last few outings of the Dumb and Dumber of the directing world, Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. As far as I can tell there are essentially two jokes in this film. Somebody gets hit a lot but is OK for some reason, and the princess character is a whore. That's it. The fact that these two retarded hacks seem to think this is actually funny defies all plausible logic. Either that or they both have the mental age of 3 and wet themselves with excitement whenever they play peekaboo with their carers.
The idea behind this film is supposed to be that it parodies recent films, making fun of them. Disaster Movie mustn't have a very good sense of balance because even in this simple task, where the characters and potential material is pretty much laid out for them by the original film makers, it yet again falls onto its already battered and bloodied face.
Lets get this straight, there is a very distinct difference between parodying something and merely making mention of it or having a celebrity or character walk on the screen for no apparent reason to deliver a pointless flat and totally unrelated "joke". Guess which one Disaster Movie does predominantly? If you guessed parodying you are seriously not getting the tone of this review are you? Yep I think good ol' Jason and Aaron may have had a bet or wager of some kind with a person who worked on the previous film that was something along the lines of "Lololol I bet we cans get moar celebrity peoples into this film than Meat Teh Spartons!". This lead to the barrage of completely unnecessary and unfunny pop culture references that plagued my monitor for 90 minutes. None of them made sense! Alvin and the chipmunks appeared in a building singing deth metal and then proceeded to kill Juno. And that was one of the more coherent scenes of this film.
I could go on ranting about the acting that is so wooden you could make a coffee table out of it or the shockingly awful and cheap looking special effects but I don't think I have enough venom left to spit at this turd sandwich of a movie to do justice to just how bad they are. If you didn't know anything about this film I took a bullet for you guys on this one, you owe me! This film is terrible avoid it like the bubonic plague.
Oh and please for the love of God do not go to see it! Stop giving these jack offs money and they might get the idea that everybody hates them and their films.
The answer is pretty god damn bad indeed. Even in films I don't really enjoy I still try to look for positives, especially when reviewing, to attempt to give a balanced and fair account. Keeping this in mind, you will have to excuse me if this review comes out a bit rant-like but there are no good points to speak of and the rest of this post will consist of me slating this film in as many ways as I can think of at the minute. Honest to god I cannot think of one thing about this film I thought was well done or enjoyable.
First off the plot. I even hesitate to call it a plot as I feel it would be an affront to all other plots in every other film that exists. Apparently some guy called Will has a dream that the world is going to end because of a crystal skull for some reason, then his girlfriend leaves him, the world begins to end but of course he is still in love with her so he goes to rescue her and stop the world from being destroyed. I will pause here and just leave a line before I continue for you to all grimace in disgust at this awful cliched concept for a story.
Done? Good, I shall go on. None of the massive gaping plot holes are explained such as why things come to life in a museum, why the world is ending because a skull is not on a table or why I sat through the entirety of this disjointed mess of a film. In a lot of comedy films though, the story is not meant to be incredibly absorbing, and merely serves as a mechanism to move the audience from one contextual joke to another. Disaster Movie seems to attempt this, but because none of the jokes are funny, it falls flat on its face with a nice loud crunch.
I am frankly insulted to be the target demographic of this film, being a teenage white male, as the humour is...well it just isn't humour. Throughout the whole hour and half of this I smirked (not even laughed) a massive total of once. It is the same tired, drawn out old jokes from the last few outings of the Dumb and Dumber of the directing world, Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. As far as I can tell there are essentially two jokes in this film. Somebody gets hit a lot but is OK for some reason, and the princess character is a whore. That's it. The fact that these two retarded hacks seem to think this is actually funny defies all plausible logic. Either that or they both have the mental age of 3 and wet themselves with excitement whenever they play peekaboo with their carers.
The idea behind this film is supposed to be that it parodies recent films, making fun of them. Disaster Movie mustn't have a very good sense of balance because even in this simple task, where the characters and potential material is pretty much laid out for them by the original film makers, it yet again falls onto its already battered and bloodied face.
Lets get this straight, there is a very distinct difference between parodying something and merely making mention of it or having a celebrity or character walk on the screen for no apparent reason to deliver a pointless flat and totally unrelated "joke". Guess which one Disaster Movie does predominantly? If you guessed parodying you are seriously not getting the tone of this review are you? Yep I think good ol' Jason and Aaron may have had a bet or wager of some kind with a person who worked on the previous film that was something along the lines of "Lololol I bet we cans get moar celebrity peoples into this film than Meat Teh Spartons!". This lead to the barrage of completely unnecessary and unfunny pop culture references that plagued my monitor for 90 minutes. None of them made sense! Alvin and the chipmunks appeared in a building singing deth metal and then proceeded to kill Juno. And that was one of the more coherent scenes of this film.
I could go on ranting about the acting that is so wooden you could make a coffee table out of it or the shockingly awful and cheap looking special effects but I don't think I have enough venom left to spit at this turd sandwich of a movie to do justice to just how bad they are. If you didn't know anything about this film I took a bullet for you guys on this one, you owe me! This film is terrible avoid it like the bubonic plague.
Oh and please for the love of God do not go to see it! Stop giving these jack offs money and they might get the idea that everybody hates them and their films.
