Discuss and Rate the Last Film You Watched

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Dwarvenhobble

Is on the Gin
May 26, 2020
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The Green Knight

(On Prime)

Did anyone order indie movie the indie movie? Cause honestly if I were to say about the style of certain film makers you could probably nail down slow motion shots and Zack Snyder; Explosion and Michael Bay and maybe lens flare and J.J. Abrams. Indie films though seemingly as a sort of genre of their own seem to be an area where regardless of director many of them share common traits now. Outside of the low budget horror films and the odd hard to categorise film, indie films these days can be categorised with two things: An esoteric story looking at deeper ideas and gratuitous use of long lavish shots lingering on the environment or sweeping over it some vista because the film maker saw them do it a few times in Lord of the Rings.

Clocking in at 2 hours 9 minutes The Green Knight is a film that I can only really describe as self indulgent film making which could be seen to embody some of the worst of indie film making's indulgences. The film is 2 hours 9 minutes but it doesn't have time to make sure the audience is up on who is who among the characters besides the very core characters of Sir Gawain and The Green Knight. So if you aren't up on your Arthurian Legends then the film doesn't have time for you because the time explaining that it's characters include King Arthur, Queen Guinevere, Merlin and Morgan Le Fay is time it doesn't have because that's time it would rather spend on the aforementioned lingering landscape shots and sweeping vistas. Similarly the film will be unsatisfying to anyone not somewhat familiar with the tale of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight with the film actually cutting short the story leaving the ending ambiguous and up to the viewer to decide.

The basic story being a mysterious Green Knight turns up on Christmas day in court and throws down a challenge to the knights of the round table, a simple game, a duel where if any-one can land a blow on him they will win his axe but it is done on the understanding that 1 year from now they will journey to the green chapel with the axe to allow the Green Knight to return and equal blow. Sir Gawain who is not yet a knight but eager to prove himself takes up the challenge and decapitates the Knight only for the Knights body to stand back up, pick up his head and laugh saying 1 year hence and laughing. To prove his honour after accepting the duel Sir Gawain must travel to the green chapel and face his fate. The story mostly following his exploits and misadventures that test his knightly virtues (or in Gawain's case lack of them) along the way culminating in Gawain meeting with the Knight again in the Green Chapel.

With a film like this it's hard to really recommend it because how much you enjoy it relies on your ability to let go and let it wash over you enjoying the rather beautiful sets and likely mix of real world CGI vista. You have to just be and invest yourself in the quest for it to work but without an actual conclusion just an open ending you might still feel let down with the film. Also it's basically a film that require you to do advanced homework before watching to be able to let it wash over you and not constantly have to try and think parts of it through. Also for a film that goes with a fairly dark grim tone I have to say it's pretty out of place to have quite so many sex scenes with quite so little actual nudity. I'm not even joking there's probably 3 implied sex scenes plus a morning after sex in a brothel plus a seduction scene and all of them only ever show some out of focus breasts in the background so it feels like it doesn't even want to commit to the idea of the implied depravity or less than Knightly conduct that makes up part of the films theme.

In the end this is a film I'd say is very unique but I can only think the true audience for this film is one who are both very much aware of the tale of Sir Gawain and The Green Knight but also in an altered state of consciousness. So probably Students studying ancient legends and text as part of some Ancient Literature degree.
 

PsychedelicDiamond

Wild at Heart and weird on top
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Apr 4, 2020
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The Eternals

Marvel jumped the shark and into the depths of shlocky morning cartoon science fiction some time ago but I don't recall a movie this silly and stupid in a while. I remember back when superheroes at least had a pretend relationship to the real world. Iron Man was peddling guns in the Middle East. Captain America was a relic from another time, already ridiculous in WW2. Fucking Thor felt plausible just from how out of place he behaved and reacted in the world. Cut to I don't know how many years later and now we have space Power Rangers/Planeteers dropping in out of the blue, rewriting thousands of years of history in absurd color-coded spandex. Thanos gets a mention like "oh yeah that guy" - death of half the sentient universe, remember that? Big fucking whatever.

PS, don't stick around after the credits. Most pointless scene since the ant playing the drums in Ant Man 2.
Yeah, but was it like a "Wim Wenders chaser in a Fassbinder shaped glass"?blob.png
 

Bartholen

At age 6 I was born without a face
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Jul 1, 2020
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Yeah, but was it like a "Wim Wenders chaser in a Fassbinder shaped glass"?
Oh. My. Fucking. God.

I was initially about to say that after reading those tweets I felt like wishing a Thanos snap on our world, just so there could be a chance of people like that fading out of existence.

Then I realized who it actually was. And now my wish has changed from Thanos snap to the end of Cabin in the Woods.

Fuck everything.
 

BrawlMan

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Korey likes the movie well enough. He does not consider it Marvel's worse nor best film. So I am seeing so far are exaggerations and knee jerk reactions from early reviews and criticisms. I'm more than likely going to enjoy this film, so I will see it next weekend when it comes out.
 

Johnny Novgorod

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Grrr...I was worried about the tone in the trailers. It seemed too flippant. After the events of Endgame, Iron Man and Black Widow's deaths, the deaths of half the universe, Captain American finally being so tired and traumatized he returns to the 40s to retire, it seems to be in incredibly poor tastes to have the magical power rangers joking about who should be the next Avengers leader.
Seems very corporate studio driven. Let the new blood know they won't be getting RDJ or ScarJo's paychecks, they can always add the next level up super sayan.
Same logic behind the multiverse and all the different versions of characters. Just an excuse to cut everyone's pay because they can always recast with the Earth-88 version of your character.
They were already making jokes about Iron Man and Black Widow's deaths in Spidey 2 by featuring a trite high school in memoriam scored with "My Heart Will Go On". Marvel can't hold a straight face for more than a beat.

They've gone from spending 4 years (2008-2012) releasing 5 movies introducing 6 characters before paying off with a climactic team-up in Avengers to simply releasing Eternals, a movie that has 10 superheroes nobody knows or cares about by the time you're supposed to. Just shoehorn in all the exposition and holographic PowerPoint presentations in there somewhere. Whole movie felt like I had just walked in.

For a movie boasting so many unconventional ideas (including a bizarre take on Scientology), it delivers them in the most conventional way. Generic space reptiles here we go. This is only the third or fourth alien invasion in a row. Get the band back together, drop the ego, learn about teamwork. Ten superpowers and not a single new one. Almost all of them conveniently go to throwing people around. Men are quippy and women are broody. And so on. Bottom of the barrel Saturday morning cartoon trash with the credibility of having an Academy Award sellout at the chair.
 

SilentPony

Previously known as an alleged "Feather-Rustler"
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Apr 3, 2020
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Corner of No and Where
They were already making jokes about Iron Man and Black Widow's deaths in Spidey 2 by featuring a trite high school in memoriam scored with "My Heart Will Go On". Marvel can't hold a straight face for more than a beat.

They've gone from spending 4 years (2008-2012) releasing 5 movies introducing 6 characters before paying off with a climactic team-up in Avengers to simply releasing Eternals, a movie that has 10 superheroes nobody knows or cares about by the time you're supposed to. Just shoehorn in all the exposition and holographic PowerPoint presentations in there somewhere. Whole movie felt like I had just walked in.

For a movie boasting so many unconventional ideas (including a bizarre take on Scientology), it delivers them in the most conventional way. Generic space reptiles here we go. This is only the third or fourth alien invasion in a row. Get the band back together, drop the ego, learn about teamwork. Ten superpowers and not a single new one. Almost all of them conveniently go to throwing people around. Men are quippy and women are broody. And so on. Bottom of the barrel Saturday morning cartoon trash with the credibility of having an Academy Award sellout at the chair.
Were any of the spoiler leaks from back in March true? 'cause it seems like a very silly movie if so, with the Eternals being androids and Thena having memory issues, and Ajak being killed off screen, and Ikaris actually being the villain, etc...
 

SilentPony

Previously known as an alleged "Feather-Rustler"
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The thing it reminded me the most was this. It's virtually identical.
I remember seeing a video of MovieBob about how the average Rick and Morty fan isn't as smart as they think, and the show is only for incredibly smart fans like himself. No joke, he went on a rant about how Rick and Morty is too smart for the average Rick and Morty fan, and you need to be as smart as him to actually get all the meta commentary.

If he's honestly saying Eternals is too smart for comic book fans, but HE got it, boy howdy he's hitting new lows in lack of self awareness.
 

Johnny Novgorod

Bebop Man
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Were any of the spoiler leaks from back in March true? 'cause it seems like a very silly movie if so, with the Eternals being androids and Thena having memory issues, and Ajak being killed off screen, and Ikaris actually being the villain, etc...
I didn't know about any leaks but yeah, sounds about right. The bad guy reveal is barely a spoiler, should be obvious from the very beginning. You're not gonna kick off your brand new multicultural superhero team with another white dude in charge. The Angelina Jolie character is going insane from being overburdened with memories (just her for some reason). Salma Hayek dies off screen pretty early on but later we see her death in a flashback (one way or another she doesn't do much). As for them being androids... We get an assembly line type of scene that kinda confirms it. They're synthetic but not really alive (which is why they "don't die", unless killed).
 

Piscian

Elite Member
Apr 28, 2020
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I remember seeing a video of MovieBob about how the average Rick and Morty fan isn't as smart as they think, and the show is only for incredibly smart fans like himself. No joke, he went on a rant about how Rick and Morty is too smart for the average Rick and Morty fan, and you need to be as smart as him to actually get all the meta commentary.

If he's honestly saying Eternals is too smart for comic book fans, but HE got it, boy howdy he's hitting new lows in lack of self awareness.
It's funny I was a fan when he was here on TE and I was even subscribed to him on his own channel for a while. Sometimes he can very insightful and even when I end up not agreeing with him on a film I dug his review, but he very publicly lost his mind a few years ago and I don't think hes ever quite recovered.

Sometimes he's fine, Ive always enjoyed his documentary stuff on comics and what not, I thought his Halloween kills review was spot on, but man when he gets on his soapbox it is down right cringy and he tries to present himself as like he "knows better" than anyone else. Being called a literal nazi for thinking TLJ sucks was enough for me to disconnect.

If youtube happens to recommend one of his reviews and its not something I think Im gonna have to hear him rant on I'll occasionally check it out. I have no intention of watching his eternals review, he spoils the shit out of everything.
 

Dwarvenhobble

Is on the Gin
May 26, 2020
4,387
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They were already making jokes about Iron Man and Black Widow's deaths in Spidey 2 by featuring a trite high school in memoriam scored with "My Heart Will Go On". Marvel can't hold a straight face for more than a beat.

They've gone from spending 4 years (2008-2012) releasing 5 movies introducing 6 characters before paying off with a climactic team-up in Avengers to simply releasing Eternals, a movie that has 10 superheroes nobody knows or cares about by the time you're supposed to. Just shoehorn in all the exposition and holographic PowerPoint presentations in there somewhere. Whole movie felt like I had just walked in.

For a movie boasting so many unconventional ideas (including a bizarre take on Scientology), it delivers them in the most conventional way. Generic space reptiles here we go. This is only the third or fourth alien invasion in a row. Get the band back together, drop the ego, learn about teamwork. Ten superpowers and not a single new one. Almost all of them conveniently go to throwing people around. Men are quippy and women are broody. And so on. Bottom of the barrel Saturday morning cartoon trash with the credibility of having an Academy Award sellout at the chair.
10 characters?

Oh it's worse than that.

10 Eternals
+ The Black Knight (Also in The Eternals film)
+ Shang Chi and however many of his associates come over for the cross over
+ Female Loki and the new villain Kang
+ US Agent
+ New Black Widow
+ New Hawkeye from the Hawkeye series out November

It's funny I was a fan when he was here on TE and I was even subscribed to him on his own channel for a while. Sometimes he can very insightful and even when I end up not agreeing with him on a film I dug his review, but he very publicly lost his mind a few years ago and I don't think hes ever quite recovered.

Sometimes he's fine, Ive always enjoyed his documentary stuff on comics and what not, I thought his Halloween kills review was spot on, but man when he gets on his soapbox it is down right cringy and he tries to present himself as like he "knows better" than anyone else. Being called a literal nazi for thinking TLJ sucks was enough for me to disconnect.

If youtube happens to recommend one of his reviews and its not something I think Im gonna have to hear him rant on I'll occasionally check it out. I have no intention of watching his eternals review, he spoils the shit out of everything.
Kinda funny to think quite a while back when asked if he was a Democrat or Republican he said he was for whichever he felt benefitted him the most. He's really swung hard it seems in more recent times. I mean in his most recent Schlocktober he managed to go on a Trump rant again too.
 

Johnny Novgorod

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10 characters?

Oh it's worse than that.

10 Eternals
+ The Black Knight (Also in The Eternals film)
+ Shang Chi and however many of his associates come over for the cross over
+ Female Loki and the new villain Kang
+ US Agent
+ New Black Widow
+ New Hawkeye from the Hawkeye series out November
I mean specifically for the Eternals movie. Which I guess would include "Black Knight" (just Kit Harrington as a puny live interest, he's more of a set up) and Thanos' brother apparently, who shows up after the credits in one of the laziest, out of the blue teasers I've seen in these movies.
 
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BrawlMan

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I remember seeing a video of MovieBob about how the average Rick and Morty fan isn't as smart as they think, and the show is only for incredibly smart fans like himself. No joke, he went on a rant about how Rick and Morty is too smart for the average Rick and Morty fan, and you need to be as smart as him to actually get all the meta commentary.

If he's honestly saying Eternals is too smart for comic book fans, but HE got it, boy howdy he's hitting new lows in lack of self awareness.
This it's nothing new for Bob. He's been doing that type of commentary since 2010. I'm a smart fan and anyone else that doesn't get it is a dumb fan or is misguided. He's been pulling that diatribe over a decade.
 

Dwarvenhobble

Is on the Gin
May 26, 2020
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I mean specifically for the Eternals movie. Which I guess would include "Black Knight" (just Kit Harrington as a puny live interest, he's more of a set up) and Thanos' brother apparently, who shows up after the credits in one of the laziest, out of the blue teasers I've seen in these movies.
I was more commenting on what I saw as your larger point about them spending 4 years to introduce 5 characters and to a greater or lesser extent even without the Eternals they've been introducing a lot in 1 year already.
 

Bartholen

At age 6 I was born without a face
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One more thing to add to what peeves me about those Eternals tweets: Marvel Movies are essentially assembly line products, made mostly by second units working on visual effects and having only the most perfunctory personal input from the directors. And yet MovieBob credits Chloe Zhao for "raising the bar with visuals in the superhero genre", when she likely had about as much input on the visuals of the movie as the actors did. The thousands of overworked, underpaid, nameless visual effects artists and designers desperately trying to make a career for themselves, you can just forget about them. Namedropping famous directors and using big words on Twitter in the hopes that Marvel-senpai will give you a job as their professional bootshiner is far more important. This would be low enough on its own already, but in the midst of the largest industry labor struggles in decades it's downright shockingly tone-deaf.

I have no idea how it took me over a decade for these words to cross my mind, but I hadn't even thought of MovieBob in years, so maybe that was needed for this revelation: he's an asskisser. His biggest aspiration seems to be to become a professional shill for Marvel, and damn anything else. He'll give the most limp-wristed, silk glove critiques of Marvel films to maintain a tissue-thin veneer of credibility as a critic, and then goes right back to gobbling them all wholesale.
 
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Dwarvenhobble

Is on the Gin
May 26, 2020
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One more thing to add to what peeves me about those Eternals tweets: Marvel Movies are essentially assembly line products, made mostly by second units working on visual effects and having only the most perfunctory personal input from the directors. And yet MovieBob credits Chloe Zhao for "raising the bar with visuals in the superhero genre", when she likely had about as much input on the visuals of the movie as the actors did. The thousands of overworked, underpaid, nameless visual effects artists and designers desperately trying to make a career for themselves, you can just forget about them. Namedropping famous directors and using big words on Twitter in the hopes that Marvel-senpai will give you a job as their professional bootshiner is far more important. This would be low enough on its own already, but in the midst of the largest industry labor struggles in decades it's downright shockingly tone-deaf.

I have no idea how it took me over a decade for these words to cross my mind, but I hadn't even thought of MovieBob in years, so maybe that was needed for this revelation: he's an asskisser. His biggest aspiration seems to be to become a professional shill for Marvel, and damn anything else. He'll give the most limp-wristed, silk glove critiques of Marvel films to maintain a tissue-thin veneer of credibility as a critic, and then goes right back to gobbling them all wholesale.
The thing is rom what I'm hearing the visuals style etc aren't raising the bar so much as a more polished version of the kind of things Zack Snyder has been doing for a while.
 

Bedinsis

Elite Member
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One more thing to add to what peeves me about those Eternals tweets: Marvel Movies are essentially assembly line products, made mostly by second units working on visual effects and having only the most perfunctory personal input from the directors. And yet MovieBob credits Chloe Zhao for "raising the bar with visuals in the superhero genre", when she likely had about as much input on the visuals of the movie as the actors did. The thousands of overworked, underpaid, nameless visual effects artists and designers desperately trying to make a career for themselves, you can just forget about them. Namedropping famous directors and using big words on Twitter in the hopes that Marvel-senpai will give you a job as their professional bootshiner is far more important. This would be low enough on its own already, but in the midst of the largest industry labor struggles in decades it's downright shockingly tone-deaf.

I have no idea how it took me over a decade for these words to cross my mind, but I hadn't even thought of MovieBob in years, so maybe that was needed for this revelation: he's an asskisser. His biggest aspiration seems to be to become a professional shill for Marvel, and damn anything else. He'll give the most limp-wristed, silk glove critiques of Marvel films to maintain a tissue-thin veneer of credibility as a critic, and then goes right back to gobbling them all wholesale.
If the directors had only perfunctory impact on the final movie it would be pointless for Marvel to seek out different directors for their various movies. Looking over the trailer for Chloe Zhao's Oscar winner Nomadland makes me think she's a director that uses landscape imagery as part of her film making, so even if it is more proper to credit the CGI artists for whatever visuals are present, they wouldn't be there without someone ordering them been made, someone choosing to let that be a part of the film.
 

Johnny Novgorod

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If the directors had only perfunctory impact on the final movie it would be pointless for Marvel to seek out different directors for their various movies.
Directors are little more than casting stunts for Marvel. Movies are already long in the making before they sign them up. Chloe Zhao is a cheap, freshly Oscarized indie director ready to sell out, lend some clout and also plug the movie in the Chinese market.

Looking over the trailer for Chloe Zhao's Oscar winner Nomadland makes me think she's a director that uses landscape imagery as part of her film making, so even if it is more proper to credit the CGI artists for whatever visuals are present, they wouldn't be there without someone ordering them been made, someone choosing to let that be a part of the film.
"There's a landscape" is not an auteurish trademark. It's just a second unit selling vistas and pickups they probably shot a while ago, before they even knew what they'd use them for. If you think pointing to a desert is a Chloe Zhao trademark, she's directed thousands of movies.

This isn't to knock Zhao, but none of the things that make her a good director are going to shine in a movie like this. She's a hired hand. The people calling the shots are the higher ups at Disney. She's just there to make it look like actual artistic vision went into movie number 26.
 
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