Finally watched this after putting it off for like a month at least. And turns out it's pretty fucking fantastic. I feel I kind of needed this, and so did Guillermo. A lot of the films I've watched lately have been rather on the depressing and cynical side, so having an entirely sincere and straightforward story with a happy ending felt refreshing. And del Toro being famously known almost as much for the movies he hasn't made as the ones he has feels like he's been given full creative control here. The movie feels entirely uncompromised in its visuals, story and themes. It's quite on the creepier and darker side of family films, with Pinocchio being depicted initially almost like something eldritch and abominable. It's very dense thematically, covering a multitude of topics ranging from identity, loss, grief, loyalty, fascism and a whole lot more, but it never feels like it's overstuffed. The animation is obviously beyond gorgeous, and I honestly hope this gets the animated Oscar. I loved Puss in Boots: The Last Wish (which incidentally shares some themes of mortality with this), but this feels even more like a labor of love, and stop-motion animation is just something I'm going to be on the side of by default because I respect the craft so much.
The only reason it's not a 10/10 is because I feel those movies have to wow me in a special way which this just failed to meet. But I honestly can't think of much wrong with it. The 2 hours just flies by, the characters and story are engaging and it's just fantastic all around.
Long air flight movie extravaganza. I might have forgotten one in the haze of tiredness.
Black Adam (2022)
DC Superhero actioner starring Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson as a morally grey super(anti)hero who is called upon to save a sort of cod-Egypt from modern exploitation. The film essentially asks what happens if a being with Superman-like powers doesn't quite have Superman's moral code. Of course, he's not that bad a sort (if you want to see that, watch "Brightburn"), but the body count is high. Along the way, Western neglect and exploitation are niftily represented a team of second order superheroes who are sent in to negoatiate with / control Black Adam and prevent him causing too much damage. It's actually pretty good, certainly well above the stock of most of the misfiring DC stable.
Confess, Fletch (2022)
John Hamm, despite making his name in a that very serious drama, "Mad Men", is one of the best comic actors around. Here he plays investigative journalist Irwin Fletcher in a comedy where his girlfriend sends him to investigate some stolen paintings. It's all kind of okay, with some entertaining characters. It's not really laugh-out-loud funny, but it is amusing and diverting. Give it a watch if you want something undemanding and gentle. I vaguely remember Fletch from the original Chevy Chase movies as a smarmy arsehole: Hamm's Fletch retains some of that, but is much less obnoxious.
The Accident Man: Hitman's Holiday (2022)
Scott Adkins starring low budget comedy action movie. Hits the right sort of low budget action movie notes, but the comedy is distinctly weak.
The Infernal Machine (2022)
Guy Pearce stars in this thriller as an alcoholic author who wrote one famous book that inspired a mass shooting, which causes him to become a recluse. For some reason I cannot fathom, he has a British Yorkshire accent which is quite unexpected, but what the hell, it's not like Britons don't emigrate to the USA. Pearce is a good actor, and this gives him plenty of opportunity to stretch his acting chops as a zealous fan starts invading and disrupting his life. It ends up a bit silly and strained, but has enough quality to stay in the thumbs up territory all the same.
Section 8 (2022)
Utter dross actioner starring Ryan Kwanten (True Blood) as an ex-veteran convicted of murder who is recruited by a dodgy government black ops unit. Dolph Lundgen, Mickey Rourke, Scott Adkins and Dermot Mulroney turn up to add some extra B-movie big name heft that are just wasted. At times the film seems to be trying to have a message or make a social point, and in a better vehicle, some of it might have worked. I dozed off somewhere around the middle of it, but I don't think I missed much.
Jurassic World: Dominion (2022)
Big budget, barrel-scraping action sequel. Bringing back Sam Neill, Laura Dern and Jeff Goldblum to the franchise could be a nice touch, except it mostly serves to underline the sort of vacuity of the project. It's the same old shit from the previous five films. Dinosaurs have for some utterly inexplicable reason spread across the world without mass extermination (no, just no) and there's a new evil corp trying to exploit them for profit despite the harm to everyone else ( ). But never mind, because Chris Pratt, Bryce Dallas Howard and their teen munchkin plus allies are around to save the day. The Disneyfication of (some) dinos sort of irritates me: dinosaurs are lizards, and lizards are not really social creatures in the way cutesy mammals tend to be. Still, if we compare it to certain other long-lasting series (mentioning no Transformers movies in particular), it's almost a work of art.
Emily The Criminal (2022)
As a caveat, I didn't finish this, so first half only. Crime drama starring Aubrey Plaza as a struggling artist drawn into a criminal enterprise. It's held up well by another good performance from Plaza along with the other cast and rolls along at a good pace. Emily has a prior criminal record and attitude that does not help her, but the movie has quite a lot to say about how her record and the structure of society and business operate to hold her down, waste her talents and tempt her into illegality. Good work. Need to finish it.
Emily the Criminal - (apple buys)
Aubrey Plaza is just a bit of an undeniable goddess, can't think of anyone who could do this role any more justice tbh. Am not really full of words to say about this though, so is a recommend for pretty much anyone I reckon.
The Disneyfication of (some) dinos sort of irritates me: dinosaurs are lizards, and lizards are not really social creatures in the way cutesy mammals tend to be. Still, if we compare it to certain other long-lasting series (mentioning no Transformers movies in particular), it's almost a work of art.
Have you had a kid recently? I ask because that’s a fucking dad joke par excellence.
Bad Attitudes - 0/10 or 10/10
Let me explain; by any sane metric this made for TV kids adventure film is a total piece of shit. It’s tonally awkward, none of the actors are very good or famous to my knowledge aside from Ethan Embry and the plot is pants on head stupid. However, likely because I used to rent this ***** all the time when I was ten, I still enjoy it.
The plot - such as it is - concerns five maladjusted young teenagers who manage to elude being sent to a summer camp they hate at an airport by hiding away on the private plane of a rich guy who’s friends with the rich kid’s dad. Here’s where two other utterly absurd plots intersect: the rich guy has a bomb on the plane because he’s bankrupt and needs an insurance payout. Two Russian terrorists in the mould of Boris and Natasha are also independently planning to kidnap the rich guy. Shit rockets fanwards when rich boy Cosmo (seriously) fucks around with Boris and Natasha and is subsequently required to have the plane take off.
From there I suspect any of you with brain cells you don’t like very much can figure out the rest.
The last piece of hilariously ironic trivia about this move was, hilarious terrorists being bested by c-grade Kevin McCallister’s plot and all, released on September 11, 1997.
Finally watched this after putting it off for like a month at least. And turns out it's pretty fucking fantastic. I feel I kind of needed this, and so did Guillermo. A lot of the films I've watched lately have been rather on the depressing and cynical side, so having an entirely sincere and straightforward story with a happy ending felt refreshing. And del Toro being famously known almost as much for the movies he hasn't made as the ones he has feels like he's been given full creative control here. The movie feels entirely uncompromised in its visuals, story and themes. It's quite on the creepier and darker side of family films, with Pinocchio being depicted initially almost like something eldritch and abominable. It's very dense thematically, covering a multitude of topics ranging from identity, loss, grief, loyalty, fascism and a whole lot more, but it never feels like it's overstuffed. The animation is obviously beyond gorgeous, and I honestly hope this gets the animated Oscar. I loved Puss in Boots: The Last Wish (which incidentally shares some themes of mortality with this), but this feels even more like a labor of love, and stop-motion animation is just something I'm going to be on the side of by default because I respect the craft so much.
The only reason it's not a 10/10 is because I feel those movies have to wow me in a special way which this just failed to meet. But I honestly can't think of much wrong with it. The 2 hours just flies by, the characters and story are engaging and it's just fantastic all around.
Y'all... forever is surely an apt subtitle. If I wasn't at full superhero fatigue, this one surely put me there.
It's 2 hours and 41 minutes and doesn't have a Black Panther because the actor died until... they made a new BP with the most obvious person and plot line
until the end credits where they basically promised to replace here soon anyway, lol
Visually the film was good because of the costumes and the women just look like badass goddesses: Gurira, Coel, Bassett, and of course the incomporably stunning Lupita Nyong'o, just kicking ass. Guirira steals any scene she's in and has a couple good fight scenes.
Then there's a whole part underwater and I wasn't planning on watching Avatar 2 anyway but I kind of feel like I did after that. It looked pretty lame.
Action sequences had a lot of slow-mo- you know that thing where it'll start with a slo-mo thing of someone jump-kicking someone, like oh boy folks, here comes the jump kick... and then it happens, and then it shifts to real time. And once or twice ok but it was all the time and I'm like, my dudes, this movie is over 2.5 hrs, why are you making me way for all the jump kicks, lol.
None of the new characters were interesting- the precocious genius American engineer, you know, she's like, "word up y'all, science yo!" and I want to sleep.
The fish people.. so wild this came out the year before Cameron's fish people movie. Hollywood gets weird sometimes.
This is the classic overlong action movie where the plot also feels rushed with shortcuts and there's a lot of ponderous backstory that ultimately doesn't matter. I mean they want you to understand WHY the fish people are so mad and I get that, I do, but when you're already trying to figure out how to do a Black Panther, both come out meh.
But mostly it's just me- this was the 30th MCU according to wikipedia. Has there ever been 30 good of something? What are we doin' here folks.[/ispoiler]
Y'all... forever is surely an apt subtitle. If I wasn't at full superhero fatigue, this one surely put me there.
It's 2 hours and 41 minutes and doesn't have a Black Panther because the actor died until... they made a new BP with the most obvious person and plot line
until the end credits where they basically promised to replace here soon anyway, lol
Visually the film was good because of the costumes and the women just look like badass goddesses: Gurira, Coel, Bassett, and of course the incomporably stunning Lupita Nyong'o, just kicking ass. Guirira steals any scene she's in and has a couple good fight scenes.
Then there's a whole part underwater and I wasn't planning on watching Avatar 2 anyway but I kind of feel like I did after that. It looked pretty lame.
Action sequences had a lot of slow-mo- you know that thing where it'll start with a slo-mo thing of someone jump-kicking someone, like oh boy folks, here comes the jump kick... and then it happens, and then it shifts to real time. And once or twice ok but it was all the time and I'm like, my dudes, this movie is over 2.5 hrs, why are you making me way for all the jump kicks, lol.
None of the new characters were interesting- the precocious genius American engineer, you know, she's like, "word up y'all, science yo!" and I want to sleep.
The fish people.. so wild this came out the year before Cameron's fish people movie. Hollywood gets weird sometimes.
This is the classic overlong action movie where the plot also feels rushed with shortcuts and there's a lot of ponderous backstory that ultimately doesn't matter. I mean they want you to understand WHY the fish people are so mad and I get that, I do, but when you're already trying to figure out how to do a Black Panther, both come out meh.
But mostly it's just me- this was the 30th MCU according to wikipedia. Has there ever been 30 good of something? What are we doin' here folks.[/ispoiler]
Boo! This is called Fantasia 2000 but was released in 1999! Boo! 0/10! Boo!
Alright, snark aside, this movie (shorts, technically) is good, if not great. Like the original, it's a collection of animated shorts set to pre-existing compositions. Sometimes the shorts tell a story, sometimes they're based on mood/imagery. Between each short is a small segment that often has laughs, or attempts at laughs, and I'll be honest, these usually feel out of place. Bobmaster said in his own review of the film that this felt like a B-reel of the original, and watching it now...yeah, it does kind of feel that way.
Regardless, going to give general thoughts on each of the shorts, so on that note:
Symphony No. 5
Purely abstract - has lots of triangles akin to birds flying around, with lightning piercing through the clouds. Terrifically animated, but don't have much else to say.
Pines of Rome
I'm really not sure about this one. It has 3D flying whales (roll with it) flying across 2D backgrounds, and yes, that's as jarring as it sounds. The calf whale is separated from mummy and daddy whale, but reunites, and then there's lots of whales flying, and...that's it. The 'story' isn't engaging, the music isn't really to my taste, and the animation, while solid, is jarring because of the 2D/3D dichotomy.
Also, no pines or Rome to be seen.
Rhapsody in Blue
One of the stronger entries. Set in New York (it's implied to take place during the Great Depression), it depicts a number of individuals over the course of a single day going through their lives, each having their own dreams - there's the driller who wants to be a jazz musician, an unemployed man seeking work, a husband being tormented by his domaneering wife, and a little girl who wants to be with her parents again. By the end of the segment, all of them have their happy ending, and all of them have influenced each others' lives without them knowing it.
So on one hand, you've got a distinct story told over the music, and the animation's very solid, especially when actions on-screen are in sync with the music (e.g. drilling in time to the melody). Solid stuff here.
The Steadfast Tin Soldier
Not a fan of this one. The 3D animation isn't quite there yet, and the story...so, basically, toy doll has caught the attention of an evil jack-in-the-box, who seemingly wants to marry her. The titular soldier defends her, but is knocked out the window, and eaten by a fish. The fish is caught, the soldier is spat out, is picked up by his owner and taken back to the house, where he finally defeats jack-in-the-box, and happily ever after or something.
Putting aside the insane odds of the soldier being found by his owner (to be clear, this isn't Toy Story - the toys can only move after midnight it seems, and the soldier doesn't have much mobility, but that aside, it just doesn't do much for me.
Carnival of the Animals
The shortest short, it's still one of the best. Flamingos do stunts, one flamingo has a yojo, keeps playing with it, ties up other flamingos, cue hyjincks. Short, but it works.
The Sorcerer's Apprentice
Arguably what's most dammning for Fantasia 2000 is that not only is it inferior to its predecessor, but that its best short is lifted from said predecessor. Anyway, yeah, this is good, chances are you're already familiar with it, so I won't harp on it.
Pomp and Circumstance
"Let's take the story of Noah's Ark, put Donald Duck in charge, and turn it into slapstick comedy!"
...believe it or not, the above idea actually works quite well. Noah, for God knows what reason (get it? God? Anyone) puts Donald Duck in charge of gathering up the world's animals to escape death by global flooding. Cue slapstick, cue misunderstanding as both Daisy and Donald believe their spouse to be dead, cue more slapstick, cue the ark arriving on Mount Arrarat, cue Mr and Mrs Noah not even thanking poor Donald, cue Donald and Daisy finding each other and leaving the ark to the bizzarely quite green planet that's undergone global salt innundation, and the inevitable genetic bottlenecks of every animal species reduced to only two members.
Okay, snark aside, this works well. If you're expecting a reverent tale of the Ark, you won't find it here, but if you're willing to see slapstick comedy based on said tale, you'll have a good time.
Firebird Suite
While overall positive, I'm also mixed about this one.
On the one hand, this probably has the best animation out of all the shorts. The Spring Sprite is absolutely gorgeous to look at, from an aesthetic standpoint and the animation behind her. The way she moves...French kiss. The titular Firebird, while barely seen, is also a beast to look at.
On the other...I know this is arguably nitpicking, but there's an element in this short that really bugs me. The short has been described as the cycle of life, death, and rebirth in nature. The Sprite awakens and is accompanied by an elk, but the land doesn't really seem to be blooming. She travels to the heart of a mountain where she finds some kind of object in its caldera (it's implied that this object is what's keeping the land from blooming). Turns out it's an egg, she awakens the Firebird, and it incinerates the land, including herself. Much later however, the Sprite is awakened by the elk, and she's able to make the land bloom once again, even more beautiful than before. To take a moment of comparison, if Bald Mountain/Ave Maria is a contrast of evil/dark and good/light, Firebird can be taken as a dichotomy of life and death.
Sounds good, right? However, here's the thing - why is the Firebird depicted as a villain? Taking the short as writ, bereft of any context or theme, the Firebird is portrayed as a monster. It kills the protagonist, it devastates the area, it's only much later that the Sprite is born again and restored life to the land. So on one hand, the Firebird is thematically a natural part of the world - it burns the land, but in doing so, makes it more fertile so that when life returns, it's more abundant than before. On the other hand, if we take this as part of the natural cycle of life and death, why is the Firebird portrayed as a malignant creature?
Still, this is nitpicking. Overall, it's a decent story with stellar animation.
OVERALL
Again, Fantasia 2000 is "good," if not "great." I can understand why a third one was never made, even if I might like the idea. The main problem, as I see it, is that it's just like its predecessor, but inferior overall, so there's little reason for it to exist. On the other hand, I'm glad that these shorts were made, as while they're uneven in quality, there's still a lot of good stuff here.
Overall, if I had to rank the shorts (I'm excluding Sorcerer's Apprentice, but it's still better than all of them), it would go as such:
1: Rhapsody in Blue
2: Pomp and Circumstance
3: Carnival of the Animals
4: Firebird Suite
5: Symphony No. 9
6: The Steadfast Tin Soldier
7: Pines of Rome
Boo! This is called Fantasia 2000 but was released in 1999! Boo! 0/10! Boo!
Alright, snark aside, this movie (shorts, technically) is good, if not great. Like the original, it's a collection of animated shorts set to pre-existing compositions. Sometimes the shorts tell a story, sometimes they're based on mood/imagery. Between each short is a small segment that often has laughs, or attempts at laughs, and I'll be honest, these usually feel out of place. Bobmaster said in his own review of the film that this felt like a B-reel of the original, and watching it now...yeah, it does kind of feel that way.
Regardless, going to give general thoughts on each of the shorts, so on that note:
Symphony No. 5
Purely abstract - has lots of triangles akin to birds flying around, with lightning piercing through the clouds. Terrifically animated, but don't have much else to say.
Pines of Rome
I'm really not sure about this one. It has 3D flying whales (roll with it) flying across 2D backgrounds, and yes, that's as jarring as it sounds. The calf whale is separated from mummy and daddy whale, but reunites, and then there's lots of whales flying, and...that's it. The 'story' isn't engaging, the music isn't really to my taste, and the animation, while solid, is jarring because of the 2D/3D dichotomy.
Also, no pines or Rome to be seen.
Rhapsody in Blue
One of the stronger entries. Set in New York (it's implied to take place during the Great Depression), it depicts a number of individuals over the course of a single day going through their lives, each having their own dreams - there's the driller who wants to be a jazz musician, an unemployed man seeking work, a husband being tormented by his domaneering wife, and a little girl who wants to be with her parents again. By the end of the segment, all of them have their happy ending, and all of them have influenced each others' lives without them knowing it.
So on one hand, you've got a distinct story told over the music, and the animation's very solid, especially when actions on-screen are in sync with the music (e.g. drilling in time to the melody). Solid stuff here.
The Steadfast Tin Soldier
Not a fan of this one. The 3D animation isn't quite there yet, and the story...so, basically, toy doll has caught the attention of an evil jack-in-the-box, who seemingly wants to marry her. The titular soldier defends her, but is knocked out the window, and eaten by a fish. The fish is caught, the soldier is spat out, is picked up by his owner and taken back to the house, where he finally defeats jack-in-the-box, and happily ever after or something.
Putting aside the insane odds of the soldier being found by his owner (to be clear, this isn't Toy Story - the toys can only move after midnight it seems, and the soldier doesn't have much mobility, but that aside, it just doesn't do much for me.
Carnival of the Animals
The shortest short, it's still one of the best. Flamingos do stunts, one flamingo has a yojo, keeps playing with it, ties up other flamingos, cue hyjincks. Short, but it works.
The Sorcerer's Apprentice
Arguably what's most dammning for Fantasia 2000 is that not only is it inferior to its predecessor, but that its best short is lifted from said predecessor. Anyway, yeah, this is good, chances are you're already familiar with it, so I won't harp on it.
Pomp and Circumstance
"Let's take the story of Noah's Ark, put Donald Duck in charge, and turn it into slapstick comedy!"
...believe it or not, the above idea actually works quite well. Noah, for God knows what reason (get it? God? Anyone) puts Donald Duck in charge of gathering up the world's animals to escape death by global flooding. Cue slapstick, cue misunderstanding as both Daisy and Donald believe their spouse to be dead, cue more slapstick, cue the ark arriving on Mount Arrarat, cue Mr and Mrs Noah not even thanking poor Donald, cue Donald and Daisy finding each other and leaving the ark to the bizzarely quite green planet that's undergone global salt innundation, and the inevitable genetic bottlenecks of every animal species reduced to only two members.
Okay, snark aside, this works well. If you're expecting a reverent tale of the Ark, you won't find it here, but if you're willing to see slapstick comedy based on said tale, you'll have a good time.
Firebird Suite
While overall positive, I'm also mixed about this one.
On the one hand, this probably has the best animation out of all the shorts. The Spring Sprite is absolutely gorgeous to look at, from an aesthetic standpoint and the animation behind her. The way she moves...French kiss. The titular Firebird, while barely seen, is also a beast to look at.
On the other...I know this is arguably nitpicking, but there's an element in this short that really bugs me. The short has been described as the cycle of life, death, and rebirth in nature. The Sprite awakens and is accompanied by an elk, but the land doesn't really seem to be blooming. She travels to the heart of a mountain where she finds some kind of object in its caldera (it's implied that this object is what's keeping the land from blooming). Turns out it's an egg, she awakens the Firebird, and it incinerates the land, including herself. Much later however, the Sprite is awakened by the elk, and she's able to make the land bloom once again, even more beautiful than before. To take a moment of comparison, if Bald Mountain/Ave Maria is a contrast of evil/dark and good/light, Firebird can be taken as a dichotomy of life and death.
Sounds good, right? However, here's the thing - why is the Firebird depicted as a villain? Taking the short as writ, bereft of any context or theme, the Firebird is portrayed as a monster. It kills the protagonist, it devastates the area, it's only much later that the Sprite is born again and restored life to the land. So on one hand, the Firebird is thematically a natural part of the world - it burns the land, but in doing so, makes it more fertile so that when life returns, it's more abundant than before. On the other hand, if we take this as part of the natural cycle of life and death, why is the Firebird portrayed as a malignant creature?
Still, this is nitpicking. Overall, it's a decent story with stellar animation.
OVERALL
Again, Fantasia 2000 is "good," if not "great." I can understand why a third one was never made, even if I might like the idea. The main problem, as I see it, is that it's just like its predecessor, but inferior overall, so there's little reason for it to exist. On the other hand, I'm glad that these shorts were made, as while they're uneven in quality, there's still a lot of good stuff here.
Overall, if I had to rank the shorts (I'm excluding Sorcerer's Apprentice, but it's still better than all of them), it would go as such:
1: Rhapsody in Blue
2: Pomp and Circumstance
3: Carnival of the Animals
4: Firebird Suite
5: Symphony No. 9
6: The Steadfast Tin Soldier
7: Pines of Rome
Man I did not expect to see this here, lol.
The original is my favorite animated film of all time, I used to watch this constantly as a kid. This one was fine but it's always weird to have a "sequel" to something like 40 years later or whatever.
An Amazon Prime movie that I saw called a "romantic comedy" but it's really... not, kinda?
It stars and was co-written by Alison Brie of Community and many internet boys' fantasies including mine, and co-written and directed by her husband who is also James Franco's brother apparently. The main dude is played by Jay Ellis who I know from Issa Rae's excellent series Insecure.
The whole movie takes the romantic comedy trope of a big city workaholic lady going back to her home town to connect to her roots and hook up with an old boyfriend who is connected to small town virtues and family. At one point a character even explicitly references Julia Roberts in My Best Friend's Wedding. It then proceeds to subvert all the tropes. End result is pretty good.
It is not really much of a comedy though. Sure there are funny bits but it gets pretty serious and I don't know if any of it in the end makes any sense but if you like the cast, you'll like the movie. Hally Joel Osment continues his career of appearing in things and being silly.
I watched this with my wife last night because it was Valentine's Day and we figured a romantic comedy would fit the occasion but had I know where the plot would go half-way through we'd have probably picked something else.
All I remember from the previews was “angry lion” and ”Deedeedeedeedeedeedeedee” and that really didn’t give me much hope, so it’s about what I expected. CGI lion goes rogue thanks to asshole poachers but winds up attacking the wrong people because they’re in that territory. The lion looked convincing enough, but what made it more awkward is the acting and sheer unbelievability under extreme circumstances. Idris Alba was great in The Mountain Between Us which was actually a similar kind of role, being a protector under extreme circumstances; basically swapping out being an SO for being a dad here. But here it just seems like he wasn’t all that committed. Maybe half of that is having to act with a CGI lion. The last five or so minutes is laughably hokey, if you’ve ever seen what a lion could actually do to a human without any protective gear.
Anyways, I like to guess the IMDb so I typically don’t look before watching, and nearly called this one at 5.5 (it’s at 5.6).
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