Looks like Dial of Destiny is getting a beating from critics. Disappointing considering its a Mangold film (wonder what this means for his Star Wars movie), but kind of expected given its an Indiana Jones movie made today.
I genuinely can't think of a movie that's released in my lifetime that comes close to replicating the feel of an Indiana Jones movie. Maybe LOTR, in the way that they both feel timeless due to all the practical effects?
Looks like Dial of Destiny is getting a beating from critics. Disappointing considering its a Mangold film (wonder what this means for his Star Wars movie), but kind of expected given its an Indiana Jones movie made today.
I genuinely can't think of a movie that's released in my lifetime that comes close to replicating the feel of an Indiana Jones movie. Maybe LOTR, in the way that they both feel timeless due to all the practical effects?
Indiana Jones was it's own thing, and trying to replicate its feel is probably a bad move. Though, I might say the Mummy films of the early 2000s sort of were that generation's equivalent.
I'm still seeing it in theaters. Bonus part of having a movie pass is that if the movie does end up not being good, I'm out 50 cents, concession prices, and my time.
Watched the original Disney cartoon version. Honestly, it's a bit better than some of the others I've watched because while it's still got the 'twee factor,' it thankfully isn't relying on stuff like "true wuv" as a plot point. That said, I barely have anything to discuss here, and I'm assuming you're all familiar with the story, even if you've never seen this specific version. So rather than a review per se, just going to bring up various points, so on that note:
-It's kinda weird how everyone at first is freaked out that Pinochio is a puppet who can talk and whatnot, but later, no-one seems to notice.
-Similarly, Pinochio has one 'lying sequence' with his growing nose, the Blue Fairy reverses it, and this never comes up again (I think he spends more time with donkey ears than a long nose, actually).
-So this is me reading too much into things, but the fox that gets Pinochio to come away with him is referred to as "Temptation," at one point. It sort of made me wonder at the time if the fox was to be taken literally. As in, maybe Pinochio isn't really seeing a fox, but is faced with the prospect of joining theatre, and goes with it. Maybe Jimminy isn't really there at all. However, the fox is later shown to definitely exist with the slaver guy, so so much for that idea.
-So what's the boysnatcher's plan, exactly? Far as I can tell, he builds (or at least renovates) a theme park island to get boys to come, which turns them into donkeys (somehow), and then presumably he makes money by selling off said donkeys (except the ones who can still talk. First question, how much profit did he make by selling donkeys as opposed to building/rennovating the carnival island, and wouldn't he make more money running it? Second, um, what DID happen to those kid donkeys anyway? Because the film doesn't provide any answers. I mean, you'd THINK mass child abduction would raise a few eyebrows, even in whatever-century Italy, but alas, it never comes up again.
-I'll actually give this element credit though, it's what I'd call genuine horror if you think about the implications, especially with the kid donkeys who can still talk, and Pinochio's friend who transforms, and the panic that ensues. Why Pinochio is the last to transform isn't really explained (maybe wood transforms more slowly than flesh?), but in of itself, it's decent. And you may say I'm overthinking this, that it's a fairytale, but the film's already established that everything on screen should be taken literally (again, see the fox), so why not this?
-So, Gepeto went to sea to find Pinochio (why?) and was swallowed by a whale (how?) and...fine, sure, whatever.
Anyway, yeah. Maybe I'm being too harsh on the film, and it's certainly not bad by any means, but at the end of the day, it's a fairytale story with a simple moral ("be good, or you'll turn into a donkey), and on that note, it succeeds. But didn't leave me with much by the end.
Looks like Dial of Destiny is getting a beating from critics. Disappointing considering its a Mangold film (wonder what this means for his Star Wars movie), but kind of expected given its an Indiana Jones movie made today.
Damn. I love Phoebe Walle-Bridge (by that I mean, I love Fleabag (by that I mean, Iove Fleabag's second season)), but if it turns out another Crystal Skull, I'll pass. I'm happy to own the trilogy dvd box set from becore the "complete" box set included that thing.
I genuinely can't think of a movie that's released in my lifetime that comes close to replicating the feel of an Indiana Jones movie. Maybe LOTR, in the way that they both feel timeless due to all the practical effects?
I had the same questioning when it came to James Bond (the non-Bourne-d ones), which is close enough in terms of epic but light-hearted adventure (which has become essentially illegal in our age of grimdark gritty greyblack somber pseudo-realism for pseudo-adults). And the answer has been Mission Impossible. So maybe it qualifies too. I had a bit of that vibe with Ghostbusters Afterlife, although it turned out surprisingly forgettable (a lot of action movies nowadays are kinda fun during the watch, and evaporate completely five minutes later, be it due to intrinsic qualities or genre saturation). The Mummy movies with Brendan Fraser were also close enough. Well, not enough enough, but still in the correct ballpark. Or direction at least...
Sadly enough, it's mostly the MCU that have filled that slot, lately. A tad too fantasy/scifi driven. It's like we don't believe anymore in light hearted fake perils for human beings.
Im 10 minutes into Fate Of the Furious and I honestly had to verify Im not high. Is there not like a single person on set responsible for explaining to these people basic car mechanics? Thats not how nitro works, or engines, or heat, or fire or the basic laws of physics...
Im 10 minutes into Fate Of the Furious and I honestly had to verify Im not high. Is there not like a single person on set responsible for explaining to these people basic car mechanics? Thats not how nitro works, or engines, or heat, or fire or the basic laws of physics...
At the moment all I can presume is that all the cars in these movies are in fact Transformers who are going along with Dom and Co. out of curiosity but don’t care enough to transform and help them.
Like I don’t think they’ve ever cared much since charitably movie two.
Saw Guardians of the Galaxy 3 last night. Its good, maybe even great. It hits a lot of notes it needed to hit, even if the constant, uncomfortable bickering got really old really fast.
Also its the cheapest of cheap, the laziest of lazy, the weakest of weak, to set up the main villain by just having him torture little baby animals. Like its almost comical - which comics, sure - levels of cruelty the High Evolutionary reaches. Like its not enough to mutilate and torture baby animals - he has to be a bi-polar jokester who laughs at the pain and calls his creations "abominations" and "failures" etc...
He does have one really great line "There is no God! That's why I stepped in". Great line, truly - just wish it wasn't one of his last lines in the movie, and that they had shown something, anything, of that personality in the rest of the movie. He's mostly just space Josef Mengele. At one point Starlord goes "the perfect society doesn't have heroine dealers" and HE goes "Yeah you're right. Blow up the world"
And its like wow, the laziness in this villain.
Everything else is pretty good. Cosmo is the best girl, Nebula is still great, Drax thankfully has next to nothing to do, Mantis is Mantis, Starlord is still fun. Gamora is the sticking point for me - she's intensely unlikable in this, and they play her acceptance and new life with the Ravagers as wholesome and a nice ending to her. Even have her laughing and dancing with her new family - totally forgetting the Ravagers are murders, kidnappers, cannibals, rapists, and pirates. Like she's basically joined a Space Cartel and everyone is like "aww, the serial rapists are telling jokes with the child murdering assassin. How sweet!"
Rocket is the heart of this movie and boy howdy does this get dark fast and really doesn't let up. Its dark. Very dark. This aint no kids movie.
Also the first use of "fuck" in a Marvel movie.
Got back from Guardians of the Galaxy 3. Might do a full review tomorrow, but in the meantime, all I'll say is that it is probably my favorite GOTG movie, and a great send-off to the series.
GoG3 I just saw, and I agree with @thebobmaster, I consider it the best of the trilogy. It's one of the strongest ending trilogies of the MCU franchise. What a note to go out on! GoG2 is great, and GoG1 is good, but the latter had a weak villain that was nothing more than a glorified stooge for Thanos. The main villain in 2 is the best, and the High Evo is fine. I like him, and sometimes all you needs is a villain to be a villain. He served his purpose and is the right kind of hateful you want wild stomp a billion times into the ground! Awesome job, everyone! Thank you for the decade of fine story, characters, and entertainment! Good luck, Gunn!
Im 10 minutes into Fate Of the Furious and I honestly had to verify Im not high. Is there not like a single person on set responsible for explaining to these people basic car mechanics? Thats not how nitro works, or engines, or heat, or fire or the basic laws of physics...
At least dangerous stunts lead to consequences, and characters actually died. They stopped caring by Fast Five. It's why I consider Furious 7 the true ending to the series, and everything else glorified fanfiction.
Tom Holland in a sprawling Russo brothers movie that goes all over the place. I kinda liked it but if it has a theme, it is, don't join the military: it will f you up.
Super Mario Bros movie
The best long-form commercial for an entertainment brand I ever seen. So many colors and moving images, I was getting tired by the end, but it was cute. Can't believe this was ever a big deal, it's just a toy commercial with jokes lol
Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves
A movie that got praised because it was less-stupid than people expected, but it was still pretty freaking stupid. Chris Pine is insanely charming and it was good to see Michelle Rodriguez kicking ass again (I haven't seen a Fast and Furious since the 2nd one).
Sisu
Now this is what I'm talking about, aw yeah- an old dude murders the crap out of a bunch of Nazis, the end. Rambo meets Inglorious Basterds meets the Northman. The river scene alone in 10/10.
Super Mario Bros movie
The best long-form commercial for an entertainment brand I ever seen. So many colors and moving images, I was getting tired by the end, but it was cute. Can't believe this was ever a big deal, it's just a toy commercial with jokes lol
Because the movie is not a piece of crap that wastes everybody time, nor stays out as welcome. It's a great movie that respects it's fans, the source material, and doesn't treat its audience like thundering dumbasses.
Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves
A movie that got praised because it was less-stupid than people expected, but it was still pretty freaking stupid. Chris Pine is insanely charming and it was good to see Michelle Rodriguez kicking ass again (I haven't seen a Fast and Furious since the 2nd one).
Second verse, same as the first. Except Honor Among Thieves is really that good! If you decide to pick up fast and furious again, just watch one through seven and end it at the 7th movie. As far as I'm concerned, it's the final film in the franchise. Everything else afterward is glorified and bad fanfiction.
So I'd seen John Cena in the trailers for Fast X seeming to be having a good time and so far his track record of being entertaining in silly movies has been flawless. I'd not really watched one of these since Fast 5 though I have vague memories of maybe sitting through Fast 7. I don't know what the names are I'm just guessing at the numbers. The one with CGI Paul Walker.
I had this big longwinded rant all typed out, but I've already kind of lost interest it. The short and sweet is that
They've transitioned this franchise to sort of emulate superhero movies, but they don't really know how to do stakes so all the characters are invincible gods and they aren't criminals anymore they're superheroes, but it's not clear whos paying them or what their motivation is.
It's never really clear what the end goal is or what the villains plan is. In both movies its just an exceptionally vague world ending McGuffin.
Fate 8 is sort of watchable due to the fact that there's a clear villain and objective. Dom is winter soldier, rescue Doms baby so he isn't winter soldier, Charlize Theron is using him to steal something. Even though the plot is nonsense, it's filmed in such away that you generally feel a sense of moving forward. Jason Statham is fun.
Fast 9 THB I just sort of wanted to die about midway though this. Its the same "stop bad guy" plot of the last one, but no Jason Statham, no Rock, No Brian, and a painful I mean paainful amount of flashbacks and nonsense to fit John Cena into the story. He's also painfully under utilized. He's played straight so its not "fun" john Cena. The jokes in this one are very very bland and drab. The bad guy switches a couple times. This feels like maybe the first Fast film I've seen that is completely led by Vin Diesel and proves without a doubt that he's not a good leading man. His Dialog is all cringe and he's just painful to watch. I had to multitask just to get through this one. Fast 9 honestly make me rethink if I really want to sit through Fast X. If I do it'll be 100% predicated on whether Jason Momoa and John Cena carry the film.
Watched Quantumania just now. I wish I could disagree with everyone who was disappointed in it, calling it one of the worst MCU movies so far, but I can't.
Positives: Kang was pretty well done, even if some of his actions were questionable in intelligence, and as much as I hate to give credit to him, Jonathan Majors' charisma really came through on screen. I was actually interested when he was on screen. I also had a lot of fun with MODOK. That's the kind of ridiculous villain I can get behind.
Negatives: My God, when Kang wasn't talking, I just didn't care about anything that was happening in the movie.
Watched Quantumania just now. I wish I could disagree with everyone who was disappointed in it, calling it one of the worst MCU movies so far, but I can't.
Positives: Kang was pretty well done, even if some of his actions were questionable in intelligence, and as much as I hate to give credit to him, Jonathan Majors' charisma really came through on screen. I was actually interested when he was on screen. I also had a lot of fun with MODOK. That's the kind of ridiculous villain I can get behind.
Negatives: My God, when Kang wasn't talking, I just didn't care about anything that was happening in the movie.
Quantumania is like a sandwich I ate a couple weeks ago. It was alright I think, actually Im not sure it was even a sandwich. It was a thing I probably ate.
Sisu
Now this is what I'm talking about, aw yeah- an old dude murders the crap out of a bunch of Nazis, the end. Rambo meets Inglorious Basterds meets the Northman. The river scene alone in 10/10.
Did you like how Kang had one hit kill hand lasers and then just never used it against the Ant-fam?
I was incredibly confused when Paul Rudd was so fiercely fighting Kang to prevent him from reaching the regular universe. Without his suit, he's just a dude apparently. Literally any other Avenger (and quite frankly, Ant-man himself) could just sit on him at that point.
Watched Quantumania just now. I wish I could disagree with everyone who was disappointed in it, calling it one of the worst MCU movies so far, but I can't.
Positives: Kang was pretty well done, even if some of his actions were questionable in intelligence, and as much as I hate to give credit to him, Jonathan Majors' charisma really came through on screen. I was actually interested when he was on screen. I also had a lot of fun with MODOK. That's the kind of ridiculous villain I can get behind.
Negatives: My God, when Kang wasn't talking, I just didn't care about anything that was happening in the movie.
I liked it without loving it. Like @Piscian found with that great analogy, it is a thing I watched. I liked MODOK but was not impressed with him as a villain. Worse, I never found Kang to be a compelling villain. Thanos thought he could save the universe by erasing 1/2 its population, could go toe to toe with the Hulk and obtained the Infinity Gauntlet (even if he only actually used it occasionally) Kang's motivation? He is a conqueror. He needs a lot more than rays coming out of his hands to seem impressive. He relates that in another universe, he killed Thor. How? So, I never found him to be that impressive a baddie, which is really a bad thing in an action/hero movie. (It is worse to give us an unimpressive "hero" like Shang Chi.) It is fun to watch the online analysis out there. The movie does not stand up to scrutiny.
Boiling Point (2021) Roku Channel
90 minute kitchen drama. It has to do in 90 minutes what pretty much happens in Hulu's "The Bear" in season 1.
Much better than "Burnt" (2015), tighter, more realistic, less meandering.
B+
Another thing that excites me about this movie? That it is on something called the Roku Channel. Roku is a streaming device. I don't know if you need to own one to see their channel. Could one have an account and view from PC?
This channel's existence is evidence of the ever more democratic nature of movie making. You can get an idea, film the thing from a cell phone, edit it with free ware and post it to an ever increasing number of venues.
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