Discuss and Rate the Last Film You Watched

[thebobmaster]

A ★★ review of Armageddon (1998)

“The United States government just asked us to save the world. Anyone want to say no?” As some casting trivia, the role of Harry was originally offered to Arnold Schwarzenegger, who turned it down. This marks the second time he turned down a job offer from Michael Bay, as he had been offered a...

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[FakeSympathy]

Cats (2019)

I lost a bet and had to watch this. And even downing a six-pack of beer still didn't help me get through the cringe.

The original theater play has elegance, the costumes are creative and beautiful, and the actors/actresses moves with subtly and grace of cats.

This movie opted tto use CGI instead, and it has to be one of the biggest blunder of all time, and I have to wonder WTF was the director thinking. I mean if he can make Les Miserable a near masterpiece with minimum use of CGI and use proper costumes and props, why couldn't he do it with this movie?

Not to mention, he decided to got for "realistic" portrayal of cats, even their disgusting and dirty behavior. I don't know why he would've approved some of these acts.

It also has two of my most disliked celebs, James Corden and Rebel Wilson. Rebel Wilson I can at least understand being their due to her past experience with musicals, but James Corden and absolutely go fuck himself. He acts like how he is in real life; like an asshole. Also a waste of big name talents like Idris Elba, Judi Dench, and IAn McKellen.

With the exceptions of the "Old Gumby Cat", and "Bustohper Jones", most of the songs are fine, especially "Memories". The rumors has that Jennifer Hudson had to be hospitalized after the shooting of this movie for carrying so much on her back with her performance singing that song.

 

[PsychedelicDiamond]

Batman Returns (1992)

The sequel to 1989's Batman, once again directed by Tim Burton. It was a bit of a painful experience coming back to it, as I remembered it as a sequel that improved on the first movie in almost every respect. Watching it again now, I don't think that's the case anymore.

Which isn't to say that there isn't an argument to be made in its favour. This might be both the best looking live action Batman movie and the best looking movie Tim Burton ever made. Like, my god, you won't believe some of the absolute goofball shit Burton was doing with the costumes, sets and setpieces in this. If you just look at it you might be inclined to think it's some gothic surrealist masterpiece. But that illusion is broken whenever someone other than Christopher Walken opens their mouth and it shows its true nature as an, honestly, rather shlocky action movie that can't match the wit and charm of its predecessor.

So, Danny DeVito plays The Penguin, cast out by his wealthy parents as a child for his physical deformities, he grew up as a circus freak and became the boss of a gang of fellow circus performers. He returns to Gotham City to learn about his origins when corrup businessman Max Schreck (Walken) offers him a deal to return to his rightful place among the cities high society as a mayoral candidate. Meanwhile Schreck is haunted by his former secretary Selina Kyle (Michelle Pfeiffer) who came back as vengeful femme fatale Catwoman after he attempted to murder her for uncovering one of his illegal schemes.

There's a lot of stuff going on in Batman Returns, probably too much for its own good. You have DeVito and Pfeiffer trying to outdo each other in who can give the most over the top performance. They try to make Penguin and Catwoman these iconic characters by turning the intensity and eccentricity of their performances up to 11, 100% of the time, in a well intentioned but ultimately futile effort to capture even just a glimpse of the natural charisma Nicholson brought to the first movie. Meanwhile Christopher Walken steals the entire movie from right under their noses by, more or less, just doing his regular shtick. It honestly can't be overestimated how much he's carrying this entire movie on his back because, god knows, the script isn't doing any heavy lifting.

It has, as I see it, two major issues. There's too much going on, for one. Between three different villains who are really only sometimes working towards a common goal and most of the time towards conflicting ones (Schreck wants to install Penguin as a puppet mayor so he can build a fake power plant, Catwoman wants revenge on Schreck, Penguin wants at first to be loved by and then take revenge on Gotham City) and about half a dozen half baked schemes they hatch to accomplish these goals it just becomes convoluted and a bit aimless.

The second issue is that it thinks it's way funnier than it actually is. Tim Burton is still a guy who knows how to pull off good comedic timing but the material in this is really rough. There are so many lame puns, forced dirty jokes and failed one liners in this that are clearly meant to be witty but honestly, just make almost everyone come off as kind of a dick.

And, you know, there is something really bizarre how this rather shlocky and kind of half assed material is complemented by Burton at his most baroque and operatic, where almost every scene feels like some wintery gothic art deco tableau with some of the most lavish costumes, sets and elaborately choreographed scenes you've ever seen. And, you know, it starts to feel like you're watching a Pink Floyd light show accompanying a performance by a mediocre stand up comedian, or listening to a philharmonic orchestra performing a Smash Mouth song.

Returns isn't bad, but despite Burton and most of the actors giving it their all, it doesn't really live up to the first movie. It's a really impressive production, that's for sure and that's why I used to prefer it over the first one but on rewatch it's just way too unwieldy and vulgar to work as well as its predecessor. I still have a bit of a soft spot for it and make no mistake, there is some absolutely sick shit in this. But despite everything it just never quite coheres the way Batman '89 did.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Rebel Ridge

This is First Blood if you made it about racism and Rambo exhausted every possible form of de-escalation before whooping ass.

Like Monkey Man, it's a revenge movie that could've used more action in it, although this is more about standoffs and going off the grid. What little action you get is grittier and more tactical than the John Wick circus act.

I liked the protagonist, played by Aaron Pierre, and the dialogue is smart and focused. Detail goes a long way into making character action interesting. I have yet to see a bad Jeremy Saulnier movie, though coming from the director of Blue Ruin I was expecting something more grim, less conventional.

 

[BrawlMan]

But despite everything it just never quite coheres the way Batman '89 did

Told ya.

 

[Casual Shinji]

I just watched I Saw The Devil.

A movie that left me a bit confused whether I was disappointed or relieved that it went down in quality as it neared its end. Because the quality it presents the viewer with early on is so deeply unsettling that the movie becoming a bit tepid in the final third of its runtime might've been preferable.

It's kind of your bog standard serial killer vs. no-nonsense cop movie, except ofcourse that it's Korean, which brings its own freshness to it. There's no reverence for the serial killer himself for example. Unlike a Hannibal Lector, John Doe, or even Patrick Bateman Jang Kyung-chul is just a piece of shit - he's not interesting, or smart, or profound, or has anything meanful to say. He's just a disgusting human being who rapes and murders women. He's like if Doyle Hargraves from Sling Blade was a serial killer on the side. And oddly enough in this he becomes the break-out star of the movie. The scenes in which he is in the same space as anyone (usually women) are more harrowing than I felt in movie in a long time. It was honestly nauseating seeing a scene transition to any woman, alone, and then seeing Jang pull up.

One could argue that all the women in this movie are portrayed as victims and are only there for the audience to feel sorry for, desperately hoping for our hero cop to come in clutch and save the day. And yes, that is kind of how it is, but damned if the movie isn't effective in doing so. One's mileage my vary, but I never found the horrible acts commited in this movie to have the stink of juvenile exploitation around it. It was presented very matter of factly, letting the horror speak for itself, and adding to Jang not being some larger-than-life serial killer, but just a revolting scum bag.

There are some surprisely wicked action sequences though that neither added or detracted from the overall experience, they were just there. I kind of feel sorry they got overshadowed by the vile subject matter, but eh.

 

[Old_Hunter_77]

In Bruges 10/10

Actually a re-watch. I been meaning to since the Banseehs of Inishirin charmed everyone and it's the same writer/director and main two actors. And also the film that made Colin Farell a favorite among many including myself. But since that movie came out in 2008 I was curious if it would hold up.

Man... it does. It's so good! Sort of a comedy, sort of a drama. It's like if Tarantino was a tasteful Brit or something. So cool.

 

[thebobmaster]

A ★★★★ review of Salem's Lot (1979)

“I think that an evil house attracts evil men.” For the about 3 people who might be reading this review and not be aware, this miniseries is based off a Stephen King novel of the same name. In fact, it was his second novel. He was inspired to write it when, while teaching English literature, he...

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[Johnny Novgorod]

Night Swim

A movie about a haunted swimming pool. Night Swim somehow thinks you can make a horror movie out of one. The only scary swimming pool I've ever seen was in Syriana.

Silliness aside it's bad form to have your demonic swimming pool movie starring a cute middle class family (Wyatt Russell, Kerry Condon and two kids). This is clearly horny teen territory. But no, this is one of those Blumhouse possession movies with cheap fakeouts and a diet body count.

I have to imagine Jason Blum does turn down some pitches, right? What the hell does he actually say no to?

 

[thebobmaster]

Night Swim

A movie about a haunted swimming pool. Night Swim somehow thinks you can make a horror movie out of one. The only scary swimming pool I've ever seen was in Syriana.

Silliness aside it's bad form to have your demonic swimming pool movie starring a cute middle class family (Wyatt Russell, Kerri Condon and two kids). This is clearly horny teen territory. But no, this is one of those Blumhouse possession movies with cheap fakeouts and a diet body count.

I have to imagine Jason Blum does turn down some pitches, right? What the hell does he actually say no to?

To answer the last question...not much. Blumhouse has actually gone on record as saying they'll greenlight pretty much anything to stand out from the "safer" major studios. Yeah, this film was bad even factoring in the stupidity of the concept. The only thing that made the film even watchable for me was Wyatt Russell thinking he was in a good movie and acting accordingly.

This is also the first movie in a while that actually made me laugh at a jump "scare". Marco Polo, that is all.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

To answer the last question...not much. Blumhouse has actually gone on record as saying they'll greenlight pretty much anything to stand out from the "safer" major studios. Yeah, this film was bad even factoring in the stupidity of the concept. The only thing that made the film even watchable for me was Wyatt Russell thinking he was in a good movie and acting accordingly.

I figure he liked the idea of playing a professional baseball has-been and it works into the roadmap of following in dad's footsteps. Kurt had a pretty good career playing minor league that was stunted by an injury, and Kurt's dad was a professional player. The family's really into the sport. I think I remember Kurt's one criticism of Escape From L.A., basically a remake of NY, being that the baseball bat duel was replaced with a game of hoops.

I think actual Academy Award nominee Kerry Condon deserves better too.

This is also the first movie in a while that actually made me laugh at a jump "scare". Marco Polo, that is all.

Lol, yup, same here.

 

[PsychedelicDiamond]

Mars Express (2023)

Animated French cyberpunk movie about a private detective and her robot partner (technically a replica of a real person who died before the events of the movie( investigating the disappearance of a college student in a Mars colony and uncovering a conspiracy concerning the future of artificial lifeforms.

It's well animated and has its share of fun world building bits, but man, is it thematically uninspired. I dunno, man, I keep waiting for a work of science fiction that gets me to think about the future in ways I haven't before but instead it just keeps doing Blade Runner, but not as good. And that's exactly what Mars Express is. Seriously, how often can you pontificate on the dilemma of artificial human like intelligence without bringing anything new to the table? There's some new interest in the subject since the hype around "real" AI (Which has fuck all to do with anything resembling an actual human consciousness, no matter how much some people want to believe their chatbot really loves them) but it hasn't brought any original new perspectives, much less considerations on the long term development of human civilization with it.

I love Blade Runner. And I liked Ghost in the Shell and AI and Her and Ex Machina and The Creator and whatnot all just fine and neither do I think there's anything wrong with Mars Express but there's just so many times I can hear the same couple of ideas presented inside the same couple of contexts until I tire of it. And Mars Express made me pretty tired.

It's not that there's nothing good about it. It's a nice visual style, Jérémie Périn is a talented animator. You know that DyE - Fantasy music video that went viral, like, ten years ago? He's the guy who directed it. There's nothing quite as cool in Mars Express but it's a good looking movie, I enjoyed that phony suburban utopia vibe that the city on Mars had going on and some of the more bizarre bits of worldbuilding. The whole stuff about organic technology that occasionally crops up is, essentially, just reheated Cronenberg but at least it's somewhat outside the box compared to... well, the rest of the movie and does seem somewhat reminiscent to the disturbing psychosexual body horror of that music video.

I wish this had been more like that and less of an attempt to ride the coattails of much older and much better material. There's never gonna be a better Blade Runner than Blade Runner and I think it's time to give up on trying to make one. I want to think that Science Fiction isn't so stagnant it can only look to the past to imagine what the future might look like.

 

[thebobmaster]

A ★★★★★ review of Casino (1995)

"Back home, they would have put me in jail for what I'm doing. But out here, they're givin' me awards." As some casting trivia, a bevy of people were considered for the role of Ginger. These included Kate Capshaw, Melanie Griffith, Cameron Diaz, Rene Russo, Nicole Kidman, Uma Thurman, and...

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[hanselthecaretaker2]

Finally saw Furiosa and can emphatically say I fucking loved it!

Here’s the thing: I’m a sucker for some lore building even though not being all that well-versed in the Mad Max universe, and what was on tap here seemed pretty rudimentary and self contained as it is. The slower pace didn’t hurt IMHO as it gave the characters and their predicaments a chance to marinate a bit. It also gave the bigger set piece moments more impact.

Anya Taylor-Joy was terrific bridging the gap between young Furiosa and Theron’s, while Hemsworth added what I think was kinda missing from Fury Road in a big bad, and then some. I couldn’t help but get the sense of him stealing every scene he’s in with Immortan Joe. This will probably win him the “Best Villain” at the VMA’s or some shit lol.

Moreover, it made me want to rewatch Fury Road since the lead-in is perfect. So I’ll probably do so tonight and see if there’s any fresh perspective to be gained. Really though, these two as it is feel like a pretty complimentary pair.

 

[PsychedelicDiamond]

Jesus shows you the way to the highway (2019)

Experimental low budget surreal science fiction comedy directed by Miguel Llanso, a Spaniard living in Ethiopia as a co production with an Estonian studio.

JSYTWTTH is an absurdist spy thriller about two CIA agents in the retro futuristic 1980's entering a virtul reality to fight a computer virus from the Soviet Union (here depicted as a man wearing a paper Stalin mask) with one of them getting stuck in a layer of it called Beta Ethiopia governed by a man in a 60's Batman costume. Yeah, we're getting conceptual again.

I dunno, I kinda dug this but god knows it's pretty rough. On face value the movie certainly seems like it's just being weird for weirdness sake but there is a certain internal logic to it that you eventually tune in to. Which, I know, is saying a lot when talking about a movie where the lead is played by a hunchbacked Ethiopian dwarf (No disrespect or anything, the actor, Daniel Tadesse, is doing a fine job) and the villains are a coked up Batman cosplayer and a guy in a cheap Stalin mask. All that aside though, here's what this is doing:

It's, primarily, paying homage to Philipp K. Dick, an influential science-fiction author who may or may not have been schizophrenic, definitely did a lot of drugs and had some odd ideas about the nature of reality and its underlying metaphysics that he expressed through his many books and short stories. Llanso adds to that some afro futuristic influences, a lot of visual references to low budget African and European cinema, a Free Jazz soundtrack and a whole lot of somewhat opaque political and religious satire. You know? Conceptual.

But, like, there is a certain artistic vision there. I don't know if it's a wortwhile one but it's definitely unique. Between the weird "Cassette Punk" setting and the deadpan absurdity and all those genuinely out there visual ideas and the way it's all filmed on 16mm film that makes it look like an actual 70's relic it just... commits to the bit, you know? I wouldn't go so far as to say it's good, there are definitely parts where it really starts to drag and starts to resemble the aimless amateur productions it references a bit too much and I can't say I found most of it very funny but I did find almost all of it quite interesting.

I'm probably giving this a bit more credit than it deserves, simply for being completely unlike anything else I've ever seen (although Buckaroo Banzai, John Dies at the End and the game Jazzpunk are roughly in the same ballpark) but it is, if nothing else, a real go for broke production. It isn't quite fully formed yet, but there's a really unique style there and I'd like to see it evolve.