It: Chapter Two, 5/10
Turns out this isn't ultimately that much better than the 1990 miniseries, which to be honest I knew going in. The reception to this wasn't exactly rousing the masses, but I still considered it worthwhile to see the differences. This does fix most of the problems of the miniseries: the production values and moviemaking are top tier, the actors are all great, it's much more consistent throughout, and delves far deeper into the more cosmic, out there elements of the book. I always appreciate it when movies commit to the bit and are willing to go full monty into some really bonkers stuff, and this does about as good a job at it as one can hope from this story.
But as a tradeoff this version creates new problems all of its own. Some are inherent in the text, and some are unique to this movie. I just don't think this story can work in a visual medium. There's just too much stuff that's more than a bit hard to swallow no matter how seriously the movie takes itself or how well it's made. Regardless of how faithful an adaptation this is, the structure of the story just feels scattershot and repetitive: character goes to a place, Pennywise fucks with them for a bit and they escape, rinse and repeat. A lot of the horror setpieces feel like they're done for their own sake rather than being informed by the characters or furthering the plot. Why does Bev get terrorized by an old woman (admittedly the most effective horror scene in the movie) when her greatest fear has been her father? Why does Ritchie get attacked by a statue of a lumberjack of all things? Where's the connection? Like I said, this kitchen sink approach just doesn't seem to work in a visual medium, and feels for a large part arbitrary. It reminds me of what Yahtzee said about the Evil Within years ago: "Make a horror game!", "About what?", "I just said: horror, horror and horror".
While the miniseries was a lot of the time too comedic (both intentionally and unintentionally) or melodramatic, this version goes overboard with the spectacle, and feels overindulgent as a result. It's only like 20-25 minutes shy of the runtime of the miniseries, and a lot of it could frankly have been cut out. There's several setpieces, including one very on the nose The Thing homage, that could be cut out wholesale and the movie would be better for it. There's also next to no tension in the setpieces, because of their aforementioned arbitrary nature, but also how Pennywise seems to be in almost complete control. It seems he can do anything, anytime, anywhere, which robs the characters of agency, and the movie feels like it's just spinning its wheels without going anywhere as a result. The abundance of CGI to bring all the grotesqueness from the book to life only ends up reinforcing the "less is more" rule in horror. The movie, much like the first part, doesn't seem to grasp whatsoever that horror is all about subtlety. Every scare is punctuated by a loud music cue and they're very predictable. The last act is mostly accompanied by bombastic, booming orchestral tracks that only take away from what is supposed to be a desperate situation. It's just not scary.
I wouldn't call this a swing and a miss, more of a disappointing half-hit that leaves the batter confused if they should start running to base or not. I kind of wish I'd hated it, because then I could call it Shit Crapter Poo, but it's nowhere near that bad. Now I'm genuinely curious to read the book to see if this balls-out weirdness can actually work in written form, because represented visually it just comes across as hokey. I did start listening to the audiobook some years ago, but when I got to the part where getting domestically battered made Bev really horny I went "Ew, what the hell am I listening to?" I know there's even grosser stuff in there, but in a book you can at least skip lines.