Yeah, it was a Richard Gere joint we hadn't even heard of, so gave it a spin. I've seen worse, but have also seen exceedingly better.
Discuss and Rate the Last Film You Watched
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The only thing I remember about this movie is a character casually sidestepping an attacker and garroting him with his wristwatch while the camera circles around them, which I thought was an unusually badass moment for such an unremarkable movie.
A ★★★★★ review of Kiki's Delivery Service (1989)
“We each need to find our own inspiration, Kiki. Sometimes it's not easy.” This review is of the dubbed version, just to make it clear if something I said doesn't ring true for the original version. The film follows a thirteen year old witch named Kiki (Kirsten Dunst). In order to train, she...
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A ★★ review of Transformers (2007)
“I bought a car, turned out to be an alien robot. Who knew?” This film was initially conceived as a G.I. Joe movie, but after the 2003 invasion of Iraq, Hasbro suggested making a Transformers movie instead. While Arcee was in the original film treatments, she didn't make the final cut, as the...
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- Apr 1, 2009
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- 3,465
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- Whatever, just wash your hands.
Apollo 13. Its leaving netflix soon so thought it was a good time to rewatch it. I mean, I remembered it being great but... I still kinda didn't remember how great it is. It really is one of those practically perfect movies. Great drama without putting in stupid things, fantastic sound track that matches the drama, phenomenal acting, and just enough liberties taken for the good of the movie without going overboard.
Rebel Moon part 2: Who gives a shit?, 1/10
Not the actual title of the movie, but who gives a shit? Yep, it lived up to the promise of the first, and in some ways it's even worse than the first one. It's a spectacularly moronic, deadening tidal wave of cringe. I watched it drunk with friends, and in that context it provided a whole barrel of fun. If you imagine the harvest sequence as the most over the top bread commercial ever it becomes absolutely hilarious. At every turn there was something to cringe about, some new type of idiocy on display. Despite having a combined 4 hours to flesh these characters out, they're still flat as a vinyl record. The amount of slo-mo and out of focus shots made me want to eat my own face. The scene where they're drinking at the table was a new dimension of awful, like a badly run DnD campaign where each character takes it in turns to tell their backstory, for no real reason in particular.
The one saving grace of this film is that a lot more of it is taken up by action, which saves you from having to listen to the godawful dialogue. But even there it constantly finds ways to one-up its stupidity. Like how the barbarian prince for some reason is fighting with two handaxes, unarmored, out in the open and in direct line of fire. These movies are honestly a whole new epoch of awfulness, and seem to suggest there's more to come. It genuinely seems like Snyder's actively trying to crater his career now, because if these movies were made by any other person, they'd be blacklisted from the industry for life.
Not the actual title of the movie, but who gives a shit? Yep, it lived up to the promise of the first, and in some ways it's even worse than the first one. It's a spectacularly moronic, deadening tidal wave of cringe. I watched it drunk with friends, and in that context it provided a whole barrel of fun. If you imagine the harvest sequence as the most over the top bread commercial ever it becomes absolutely hilarious. At every turn there was something to cringe about, some new type of idiocy on display. Despite having a combined 4 hours to flesh these characters out, they're still flat as a vinyl record. The amount of slo-mo and out of focus shots made me want to eat my own face. The scene where they're drinking at the table was a new dimension of awful, like a badly run DnD campaign where each character takes it in turns to tell their backstory, for no real reason in particular.
The one saving grace of this film is that a lot more of it is taken up by action, which saves you from having to listen to the godawful dialogue. But even there it constantly finds ways to one-up its stupidity. Like how the barbarian prince for some reason is fighting with two handaxes, unarmored, out in the open and in direct line of fire. These movies are honestly a whole new epoch of awfulness, and seem to suggest there's more to come. It genuinely seems like Snyder's actively trying to crater his career now, because if these movies were made by any other person, they'd be blacklisted from the industry for life.
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Transformers ‘07 and Dark of the Moon tend to occupy the top spot either together or interchangeably in my experience. Viewer preference decides where the remaining three sit.A ★★ review of Transformers (2007)
“I bought a car, turned out to be an alien robot. Who knew?” This film was initially conceived as a G.I. Joe movie, but after the 2003 invasion of Iraq, Hasbro suggested making a Transformers movie instead. While Arcee was in the original film treatments, she didn't make the final cut, as the...
This of course does not take Bumblebee or Rise of the Beasts into account.
A ★★ review of Transformers (2007)
“I bought a car, turned out to be an alien robot. Who knew?” This film was initially conceived as a G.I. Joe movie, but after the 2003 invasion of Iraq, Hasbro suggested making a Transformers movie instead. While Arcee was in the original film treatments, she didn't make the final cut, as the...
Make of it what you will, but I think Bay's Transformers movies peaked at either 3 or 4. 5 is very interesting too, with the way it utilizes constantly shifting aspect ratios.
Late Night with The Devil meh/10
The best way I can describe LNWTD is that its unfortunately fine. Its certainly not bad.
For the most part what you see is what get from the trailers, however the story is somewhat elevated by a subplot around the hosts recently tragedy that has a nice payoff at the end.
That said, its a pseudo found footage late night talkshow broadcast where in, in desperation to increase ratings, they try to summon a demon on Halloween. Of course things get out of hand yadda yadda blood platter scary noises.
As critical as I sound, thats not actually my problem with LNWTD. The horror stuff all works. Where ot ultimately fails is not adhering to the works it set for itself in choosing to do a 1970s tv broadcast, but filming in HD. Theyll occasionally do little effects to make it seem "old", but the picture quality and cinematography take you out of the film, by making it all seem fake. If you're gonna do found footage, do found footage. Commit to the gimmick.
So unlike something like As above so below or Blair witch where putting myself in the mindset of scared kids with portable cameras Im just blandly watching a decent parody horror of late night tv.
Meh/10 its ok. Your mileage may vary.
The best way I can describe LNWTD is that its unfortunately fine. Its certainly not bad.
For the most part what you see is what get from the trailers, however the story is somewhat elevated by a subplot around the hosts recently tragedy that has a nice payoff at the end.
That said, its a pseudo found footage late night talkshow broadcast where in, in desperation to increase ratings, they try to summon a demon on Halloween. Of course things get out of hand yadda yadda blood platter scary noises.
As critical as I sound, thats not actually my problem with LNWTD. The horror stuff all works. Where ot ultimately fails is not adhering to the works it set for itself in choosing to do a 1970s tv broadcast, but filming in HD. Theyll occasionally do little effects to make it seem "old", but the picture quality and cinematography take you out of the film, by making it all seem fake. If you're gonna do found footage, do found footage. Commit to the gimmick.
So unlike something like As above so below or Blair witch where putting myself in the mindset of scared kids with portable cameras Im just blandly watching a decent parody horror of late night tv.
Meh/10 its ok. Your mileage may vary.
It peeked with Dark of the Moon. Age of Consent fucking sucks and is another let's suck up to the Chinese government fellatio fest in the second half, and 5 literally hurts my eyes and head for the constant aspect ratio shifts. Glad it bombed, and we got Bumblebee, Rise of the Beasts, and now Transformers One taking Bayformers place. These are the real Transformers movies.
A ★★½ review of Iron Man 2 (2010)
"Textbook narcissism? Agreed." This was the first MCU film to have some significant issues during production. Firstly, Terrence Howard was booted from the series and replaced with Don Cheadle. Officially, it was due to issues between Howard's agents and Marvel, but a lot of evidence indicates...
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This was the first Marvel movie I remember actively disliking and never wanted to touch it again.A ★★½ review of Iron Man 2 (2010)
"Textbook narcissism? Agreed." This was the first MCU film to have some significant issues during production. Firstly, Terrence Howard was booted from the series and replaced with Don Cheadle. Officially, it was due to issues between Howard's agents and Marvel, but a lot of evidence indicates...
Ferrari 2023 bought digital on Amazon Prime
7/10. It's got some high points. As a human drama, it cannot compete with Ford vs. Ferrari. I never felt a personal connection with this film's characters as I did with FVF. But the sound and visuals are fantastic. Some really fantastic scenes in it that are better than the whole of the movie. We get a hint of the monomaniacal drive of many of the principals of the time. A million years ago, they were making video versions of the Playboy magazine. All the centerfold stuff. But it would pause for the journalistic parts. Different times. I saw one. Without passing judgment, it analyzed a car race like the ones in this movie that result in horrifying carnage and yet, the race went on. Not sure what it all means but is unsettling.
A comparison piece
One more I should watch ASAP to make it a trilogy
7/10. It's got some high points. As a human drama, it cannot compete with Ford vs. Ferrari. I never felt a personal connection with this film's characters as I did with FVF. But the sound and visuals are fantastic. Some really fantastic scenes in it that are better than the whole of the movie. We get a hint of the monomaniacal drive of many of the principals of the time. A million years ago, they were making video versions of the Playboy magazine. All the centerfold stuff. But it would pause for the journalistic parts. Different times. I saw one. Without passing judgment, it analyzed a car race like the ones in this movie that result in horrifying carnage and yet, the race went on. Not sure what it all means but is unsettling.
A comparison piece
One more I should watch ASAP to make it a trilogy
- Apr 1, 2009
- 14,515
- 3,465
- 118
- Gender
- Whatever, just wash your hands.
The Martian. Was good, but it did feel like it really wanted to be a mini series, like they tried to cram as much into a movie as they could but still had to leave out a bunch. But was still quite good and I liked how they had to problem solve things.
Okay I want to shout something out. One of the greatest goddamn heroes in all the MCU is Doctor Ho Yinsen. Without him, Tony would have been fucked. And his destiny was to die bleeding out in a cave. Hell no, for my money Tony went BACK to where he was held captive, got Yinsen's body and took him back to Gulmira for a fucking heroes burial. If by some miracle I ever get to meet Shaun Toub, I'm going to tell him he too portrayed a Marvel hero.
A ★★★★ review of Iron Man (2008)
“Iron Man. That's kind of catchy. It's got a nice ring to it. I mean it's not technically accurate. The suit's a gold titanium alloy, but it's kind of provocative, the imagery anyway.” This film had a fairly interesting production. The casting of Iron Man himself had a few options. The first...
A ★★★ review of Hell Night (1981)
“Where are you going?” “There’s a dead chick! I’m getting out of here!” This film follows a group of sorority and fraternity pledges named Marti (Linda Blair), Seth (Vincent Van Patten), Denise (Suki Goodwin), and Jeff (Peter Barton), led by Peter (Kevin Brophy). As part of their initiation, the...
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The Beekeeper: Good Fun / Great
Jason Statham is a “beekeeper,” both literally and per his title as a member of a classified operation of elite human weapons who are given carte blanche to affect balance in the “hive” that is the world. Retired and trying to live a low-key life tending to his bees, he rents some space on the property of a sweet, elderly woman who gets duped out of millions of dollars by a comically sleezy ring of internet scam artists. Well, Jason Statham can’t allow that now, can he?
Yes, more revenge porn, I’m a sucker for them, and I loved every minute of this one. It helped in this one that the scammers are portrayed as particularly douche-y and easy to hate which makes their ruthless comeuppance extremely satisfying.
Jason Statham is a “beekeeper,” both literally and per his title as a member of a classified operation of elite human weapons who are given carte blanche to affect balance in the “hive” that is the world. Retired and trying to live a low-key life tending to his bees, he rents some space on the property of a sweet, elderly woman who gets duped out of millions of dollars by a comically sleezy ring of internet scam artists. Well, Jason Statham can’t allow that now, can he?
Yes, more revenge porn, I’m a sucker for them, and I loved every minute of this one. It helped in this one that the scammers are portrayed as particularly douche-y and easy to hate which makes their ruthless comeuppance extremely satisfying.
Challengers
Y tu mamá también meets Wimbledon. My patience was worn out around the 90-100 minute mark (movie is 130). I understand they're doing a cute metaphor about how the ball bounces back and forth in a tennis match by having the story bounce back and forth between the climactic match itself and the lives of the three main characters leading up to it; our understanding of their relationship predictably changing with every beat. I got the concept long before the movie was done illustrating it, and stopped caring about who would win the match long before the movie stopped caring too. I was left with a well-acted but ultimately overlong, low-stakes melo about a love triangle between Zendaya and the two "little white boys" she plays against each other.
Y tu mamá también meets Wimbledon. My patience was worn out around the 90-100 minute mark (movie is 130). I understand they're doing a cute metaphor about how the ball bounces back and forth in a tennis match by having the story bounce back and forth between the climactic match itself and the lives of the three main characters leading up to it; our understanding of their relationship predictably changing with every beat. I got the concept long before the movie was done illustrating it, and stopped caring about who would win the match long before the movie stopped caring too. I was left with a well-acted but ultimately overlong, low-stakes melo about a love triangle between Zendaya and the two "little white boys" she plays against each other.