Do You Have a Mental Disorder and How Much Does it Affect You?

[Brownie80]

I have ADHD. I've been taking Concerta for I don't even know how long. It still affects me as the pills effects are not as strong. When I forgot to take them, I would be so uncontrollable and hyper the teacher would have to call my parents. I get by now, as it doesn't affect me as much as I've grown older. The point is, do you have a similar ailment and does it affect you in any amount?

 

[Eamar]

Bipolar disorder, and I've just had to defer taking my final university exams for a year so yeah, it majorly affects my life. Medication's been hit and miss, but even though Lithium (currently combined with an antidepressant) does go some way to helping, I honestly cannot remember when I last felt normal. Certainly not in the last five years. Presumably at some point in my teens, but even then I had bulimia, which obviously dominated my every thought, for several years so... I guess I'm just crazy through and through.

 

[DANEgerous]

I have dysgraphia which while in school was highly detrimental as it keeps my hand wiring from being legible with everything being on a computer and not being expected to write it rarely if ever comes into play. Still back then I was in remedial everything for no damned reason. Constantly thought of of being unable to read because apparently reading and hand writing are the same thing to a lot of teachers don't ask me why and failing math because despite getting the correct answer 80% of the grade is showing your work which I was not able to do.

Now I live in sane land where if you get the write answer no one gives a damn how you got it and I can just say "E-Mail is my preferred method of contact" and never have to write ever again.

 

[Isra]

I'm ADD also, minus the hyperactive.

It makes it pretty difficult to hold my attention on anything I'm not very interested in. For example, if I'm reading a book and it gets a little dull, I can keep on reading for pages but my mind wanders and I don't absorb any of the information I've just read. Eventually I'll realize this and I'll have to go back several pages to re-read everything, often repeating the same mistake and having to read the same three pages several times over. Even when I willfully try to keep my attention on something boring I just can't keep it up for long.

On top of that I tend to put things down without thinking about where I'm putting them because my mind is always somewhere else, so I lose my car keys every other day and I never know where I've put my tools. My life is consistently a clusterfuck.

But it has its advantages too. I'm an extremely fast learner when I am interested in the topic or task. When something grabs my attention, I become a single-minded information sponge and a perfectionist. I'll learn every detail and pick it up like I've been doing it for years. In school I was only ever A+ or F, depending on the class and whether it held my interest or not.

Medication (Ritalin) tends to balance things out a bit, but I stopped taking it years ago, because I find ADD is actually useful now that I understand it better and know how to apply it to my advantage.

 

[JoJo]

I used to work with a kid with ADHD, yeah sometimes he'd go crazy-hyper in the evenings when his pills were wearing off. Personally, I found it hilarious, I hope I have a kid like that one day :-D

Myself, I was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome as a child, though nowadays it'd more properly be known as Higher Functioning Autism. Strictly, it's a developmental disorder, but it's usually classed along with these sorts of things so I might as well mention it. It affects me a lot, on one hand I have a job, a good degree and a few friends so I'm better off than many but on the other hand, I still find it impossible to act socially 'normal' and connect with most other people, so that sucks. Still, I've found a good niche in life and I'm happy with my lot, so it's all good.

 

[TakerFoxx]

I have Asperger's (actually diagnosed, not internet self-diagnosis as seems to be the fad) and OCD. I'm mostly okay with them. The former can make things awkward at times and I have trouble knowing when to shut up about my hobbies, but since I sort of have this persona as being the slightly odd goofball, people are usually cool with my quirks. And hey, I really enjoy said hobbies, so at least I have fun. The latter is just annoying, given that everything I read anything I have this compulsive need to count the lines of text to see if the grand total is divisible by three. Yes, this includes street signs.

 

[ScrabbitRabbit]

I was recently diagnosed with depression and anxiety after having a panic attack at my desk and slicing my hand open causing me to lose my job. It wasn't the first time I've had one but it was the worst one I've had and it was surrounded by utterly foul moods that led to me staying in bed for 15 hours at a time. Not fun!

 

[Colour Scientist]

Nope, no mental disorders to speak of.
I'm just really lucky, I suppose.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

No disorder, I'm inexcusably socially awkward.

 

[Jenitals]

No but I'm from a family full of mental disorders and I take medication for mild social anxiety and just really because I don't feel right without it.

 

[dr_what]

Bipolar disorder, and I've just had to defer taking my final university exams for a year so yeah, it majorly affects my life. Medication's been hit and miss, but even though Lithium (currently combined with an antidepressant) does go some way to helping, I honestly cannot remember when I last felt normal. Certainly not in the last five years. Presumably at some point in my teens, but even then I had bulimia, which obviously dominated my every thought, for several years so... I guess I'm just crazy through and through.

I too have been diagnosed with Bipolar disorder and at the moment it has put me on the fence about deferring my final exams for my degree as well.
Before my diagnosis I found that my condition had made me fairly reckless, particularly with regards to alcohol and drugs, and it has cost me one relationship with a girl from my uni, not to mention alienating me from my friends I had made there. Since my diagnosis I've been housebound for the most part (self imposed), but my two best friends from childhood and my brother make it manageable.
Through medication and counselling I have been able to make some attempt to work from home, and learned to identify the warning signs that indicate when I'm about to enter a reckless phase (persistent since my teens).
Overall, it has impacted my life negatively, but I'm working to get past it and I'm confident that I'm going to sort things out for the better.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

Bipolar disorder, and I've just had to defer taking my final university exams for a year so yeah, it majorly affects my life. Medication's been hit and miss, but even though Lithium (currently combined with an antidepressant) does go some way to helping, I honestly cannot remember when I last felt normal. Certainly not in the last five years. Presumably at some point in my teens, but even then I had bulimia, which obviously dominated my every thought, for several years so... I guess I'm just crazy through and through.

If it's not too personal a question, do you mind if I ask what your symptoms are and how confident you are in your diagnosis?

I've had a front row seat to the mental health system in my country, and a mis-diagnosis of bi-polar when someone has depressive or anxiety disorders is disturbingly commonplace. It seems to be par for the course to medicate first and take a closer look later.

 

[Eamar]

If it's not too personal a question, do you mind if I ask what your symptoms are and how confident you are in your diagnosis?

I've had a front row seat to the mental health system in my country, and a mis-diagnosis of bi-polar when someone has depressive or anxiety disorders is disturbingly commonplace. It seems to be par for the course to medicate first and take a closer look later.

Very confident. Bipolar disorder is actually massively under-diagnosed here - I was stuck with a diagnosis of unipolar depression for years, despite it being painfully obvious (to me and everyone in close contact with me) that something more was going on. Even when I finally got referred to a psychiatrist, he wasn't confident making the call (his speciality was eating disorders), so I was referred on to a world-leading specialist in bipolar disorders, who finally confirmed what I pretty much already knew by that point.

Because it's such a life-changing, permanent diagnosis, medical professionals in the UK are reluctant to diagnose it, especially in young people. I guess it's understandable, but it would have been really helpful if I'd been diagnosed earlier.

As for my symptoms, I get really long descents into crippling depression which last several months. When I'm severely depressed, even simple things like taking a shower feel like massive achievements. It's common for me not to leave one room for days or weeks at a time. I don't even play games or read in those periods, so it's not like normal procrastination or anything like that, I simply don't have the energy or motivation to do anything.

Then I get manic/hypomanic phases, where I constantly feel like I've drunk three or four pots of coffee (complete with physical symptoms - shakiness, heart racing, etc). My thoughts race, and I become irritable and frustrated with other people because they can't keep up and don't make the same weird mental connections I do. Sometimes these phases are useful - I've produced First class essays in a single night (complete with all the reading), written poems my teachers mistook for Shelley and Wordsworth, and finished 2 hour exams in 20 minutes. But often they're really unhelpful, when my thoughts move so fast I'm unable to read or write a single sentence, when I decide to run out into traffic because it's fun, or when I spend a fortnight's budget in an afternoon because hey, why not?

Worst of all are the mixed states, when I'm both depressed and manic at the same time. I have literally gone from dancing around my room in the most incredible, gymnastic way to weeping because I'll never be a superhero in the time it takes to play the average three minute song. In this state I'll often hallucinate - anything from seeing the same cat repeatedly emerging from a flower bed I'm looking at, to some creepy guy standing right behind me, to hearing random choral music when I'm walking around town.

In all of these states I have suicidal thoughts and urges. In fact, I've long been convinced that, regardless of my actual wishes, my life will eventually end in suicide - whether it be through the despair of depression, the recklessness of mania or the desperation of a mixed state. I hope I'm wrong and that medication and other treatments will eventually bring everything under control, but I've come so close on so many occasions, and every time I come closer. I'm honestly not trying to sound dramatic or anything, this is just how it is.

This doesn't even begin to cover all the symptoms I've had, but I hope it goes some way to explaining the reality of bipolar disorder. It's not something to be taken lightly, or a diagnosis to be handed out willy nilly, and it's definitely not the romantic, "touched by fire" thing some people like to make it out to be.

EDIT: If anyone's interested, I wrote a very open and honest article about living with bipolar a while ago: http://blog.mindyourheadoxford.org/post/73219232329/emma-moyse-speaking-candidly-about-bipolar-disorder I'm not trying to promote myself or anything (it's not my blog), I just hope it might be useful to people trying to understand the condition for whatever reason.

 

[Saulkar]

I was diagnosed with Aspergers syndrome in 2000 before being re-diagnosed with it 2010 after it turned out the one who diagnosed me lost the original paperwork or some crap like that. It has always made me incredibly strange and introverted. Now in my early twenties I have friends who are at least as quirky as me despite being neuro-typical, two solid jobs, and a good outlook on life. However life as a child was hell, not from my peers as I was always intimidatingly strong, but from teachers who were constantly indignated by my abnormal behaviour.

I was for the most part friendless but often drove away those who tried due to my near total lack of empathy or anything resembling social etiquette. On the plus side I have always found myself intensely determined and able to concentrate on a narrow few things with great zeal. This allowed me to flourish artistically and become accomplished at things I do not like.

Nowadays I still struggle with many things socially. Ultimately I am still not fully integrated into societal norms and though I feel little need to I still feel that I could do a little bit better but have no one I know of who could help me as I am too well off to get help but not normal enough to not attract unwanted attention.

 

[nekoali]

I have a number of issues, which are thankfully mild enough to not require medication. Not that I could afford it if they did. Firstly, I am transsexual. Which while no longer classified as a mental disorder still carries the stigma of it, and pretty much has a major impact on every part of my life. I am mildly bipolar. Enough so that I didn't even realize it until I started seeing a therapist some years ago. Most time it really doesn't affect me, but other times I can sink into a deep depression, complete with suicidal thoughts over absolutely nothing, that can last anywhere from a few hours to days. The manic phases are worse though, because I'm less likely to realize something is wrong until I've already done something incredibly stupid,like as mentioned above blowing my savings or money I need on things like rent or bills on stupid things, or make rash poor decisions that seem totally to make sense at the time. I've mostly learned to never make any kind of major decisions or spend large sums of money without seriously thinking about it for days or weeks... Leading me to over analyze... But I'd rather than than quit my job to sell knives again....

I also suffer from severe anxiety disorder, especially about social situations. I find it hard to interact with strangers or even sometimes people I know. Sometimes I can be walking around and suddenly become convinced that people are stalking or about to attack me. Some days I'm completely unable to leave my house for fear of being attacked. Fortunately I work from home now. I can't stand to be in loud, crowded rooms, or to perform in any way in front of people. Sometimes even going to shows I become convinced that people are laughing at and mocking me, instead of the people on stage. It's been bad enough sometimes that I've had to leave halfway through things I paid for, and fight the urge to literally run out of the building, fearing for my life. Completely illogical, but I can't stop it once my mind starts on those paths. That probably has the biggest negative effect on my life.

 

[bigfatcarp93]

Aspergers up in here. I've lived a fairly lonely, reclusive life, but to be honest, I've kind of been okay with that.

Most of the time...

Also, not sure if this is because of the Aspergers or not, but I don't appear to be capable of romantic attraction.

 

[Saetha]

Dysgraphia, dyslexia, auditory processing disorder... a bunch of a fun, happy learning disabilities. The bizarre thing is, despite most of them focusing on literacy and reading comprehension, I'm actually a great reader. Math, not reading or English, happens to be my worst subject. Still though, my handwriting's god awful, and I have a tendency to misspell or leave out words in my writing... Yeah, elementary was not a happy time for me. I was in special ed up until middle school, and didn't learn to actually honestly read until I was in third grade. I did really get into reading in fourth grade, though, to the point where I was able to graduate out of special ed. So I'm mostly over this stuff now.

Also, if my father's anything to go off of, I have mild autism but... well, there's a reason why my father's not a psychologist.

 

[Eamar]

Also, if my father's anything to go off of, I have mild autism but... well, there's a reason why my father's not a psychologist.

Heh, my parents are the same. I'm 99% sure I'm not though - I'm just a nerd (hence obsessive about certain things) and not as affectionate around them as they'd like.

 

[norashepard]

Full blown Catatonic Schizophrenia. It was thought to be undifferentiated for a long time until I realized one of my best friends wasn't real. I'm also a transsexual woman, which has the effect you'd expect it to have.

For a good long while I was basically isolated from everyone and everything out of fear of both things, but more recently I have made the decision to just jump right in and live life. Even if I'm visited by figments of my deteriorating brain, or told I'm lying to the world and myself, at least I'll know that I was true to my own mind. If anyone's going to have a problem with my mental health, it ain't going to be me.

 

[zelda2fanboy]

I was deeply, deeply depressed and riddled with anxiety for most of my life, but then one day in my mid 20s, something in my brain just snapped and I wasn't depressed anymore. I didn't have to take any drugs, I didn't see a doctor, and I didn't experience any physical brain trauma. I really don't know exactly what happened. I look at old photos of me and it's like I'm a different person. I just sort of laid out what I felt I needed to do, developed routines for things where I couldn't be depressed, broke out of the ones that were bringing me down, and exercised a lot more. Maybe I just stopped letting other people tell me what to do, maybe I just quit caring about myself, maybe I gained some perspective, or maybe I found a nice still place in my brain that centers me when I feel off. I always thought I'd just sit down and write out what "fixed" me, but I honestly can't put my finger on any one thing.