Do you look people in the eyes when you talk to them?
- Thread starter axlryder
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Appropriate eye contact is an important part of human interaction and body language. Making too much eye contact implies too much focus while not making enough implies disinterest or fear. People who don't make enough eye contact tend to be either very shy or have something wrong with them (Hi Autism, how you doin'!). Aside from potentially different cultural norms I have no idea why this is under discussion. It's like posting a forum topic on "Do you bath regularly?" It's a topic to ask if you belong to an abnormal group asked as if you expect the results to be equal or more so on the abnormal side.
Nope. I can barely look a person directly much less their eyes.
I guess it gets me feeling weird for some reason. Maybe the intimate thing?
I guess it gets me feeling weird for some reason. Maybe the intimate thing?
I normally make eye contact, but I'm not always staring into their eyes. But I have a habit of shifting my attention quickly, so I'm normally watching things behind people, talking while looking at something else, and the like. People have compared me to a cat before, watching every bit of movement and seeing what it is, then moving onto the next thing, but all without stopping talking.
I wish. I find it very uncomfortable, almost like a stare-down. This is actually a problem for me. People often think I'm not interested in the conversation because I'm looking at the table or something behind them. I've tried forcing myself to look people in the eye a little more, but then I'm very conscious about it and it ultimately kills the natural feel of the conversation.
I used to hardball people when I was younger, I'd just look everyone in the eye.
I find this kind of combatitive now though; I'd rather people be at ease around me, so it becomes a balancing act which I am not terribly adept at. While talking I tend to look people in the eye, but when around them I just want to acknowledge them and move on with the absolute minimum of awkwardness. If you look them continuously in the eye then they think you want something. Romance? A fight? But if you look away too obviously then you look shifty.
I find this kind of combatitive now though; I'd rather people be at ease around me, so it becomes a balancing act which I am not terribly adept at. While talking I tend to look people in the eye, but when around them I just want to acknowledge them and move on with the absolute minimum of awkwardness. If you look them continuously in the eye then they think you want something. Romance? A fight? But if you look away too obviously then you look shifty.
During formal occasions. But only then. I'm one of those people that deliberately evade direct eye contact. It's awkward and uncomfortable. That's not to say I avoid looking at them, though. I'll glance at them when I begin to speak and when I'm done speaking. In groups it's a sign to whomever I'm speaking to, and a sign that I'm done speaking. With a single person, it's just a sign that I'm done speaking.
Some people will try to tell me it's rude not to look them in the eyes, because it's like I'm not paying attention to them, but I disagree. It should be an unspoken fact that they're paying attention to you unless they're deliberately ignoring you.
Some people will try to tell me it's rude not to look them in the eyes, because it's like I'm not paying attention to them, but I disagree. It should be an unspoken fact that they're paying attention to you unless they're deliberately ignoring you.
Only if I feel comfortable around the people I'm talking to. What I do is look close to their eyes, but not directly as I'm very squeamish about looking directly into someone's eyes. I do that whenever I'm being serious.
I never used to.
When I was younger, I never looked people in the eye. I'd exclusively stare at the floor.
Now, I'm happy to hold eye contact - but I often let my gaze wander off so as not to make them feel uncomfortable.
When I was younger, I never looked people in the eye. I'd exclusively stare at the floor.
Now, I'm happy to hold eye contact - but I often let my gaze wander off so as not to make them feel uncomfortable.
Never really thought about it. I look people in the eye when I'm talking to them unless I'm engaged in some other activity whilst having the conversation, in which case I'll just sort of keeping shifting my gaze between the person, and the activity.
I thought this was what everybody did...
I thought this was what everybody did...
I always look someone in the eye when I'm talking to them or they talk to me. Unless of course my severe anxiety gets in the way.
I try to at least look at the person, though I'm never sure how much eye contact is too much or too little. I remember hearing or reading somewhere that about 4 seconds at a time is "good", so if I find myself staring into someone eyes for too long I start limiting myself, glancing around or shifting my eyes away for a moment every 4 seconds.
To be honest, it is never something I think of really, if I look them in the eye, or don't, it is not something I am aware of doing. But I do feel that forcing constant eye contact does come across as just a little..weird..
Yes. Use I used to have trouble with it when I was younger, but now I look people firmly in the eye when I speak to them. I don't really know what else I'd look at.