Dolphins are evolving

[jad4400]

This is why I'm all for saving Dolphins, they are actually smart, not like whales, they are dumbasses. Yes I know that whales and dolphins are in the same family, but dolhpins are small enough where they can actually acomplish stuff, whales are just swiming piles of tastey, tastey blubber. mmm mmm mmm mmmmmm blubber

 

[Aardvark]

Fixed that for you.

Congratulations, old bean. You have single-handedly debunked and disproven the theory of Evolution with one interweb forum post. I can already see the Zombie Darwin bursting from the ground and retracting Origin of the Species overthis. You've proven to us that Evolution couldn't possibly be real, we must have all been created in the image of God Almighty, while He was going Full Retard.

 

[Dr Ampersand]

Soon when the dolphin's knowledge allows them to become widespread I'll be legitimately able to say, "I'm riding on a dolphin! Doing flips 'n' shit!" All I need is a boat though...

Also I wonder what would happen if we give them suits that allow them to go on land.

 

[ElephantGuts]

Great, now they're going to hijack all the nuclear submarines and hold the world hostage and rule the world.

Unless we kill them all first...

 

[Raregolddragon]

Hummm a new kind of life form to splice ours gens with.

 

[Sewblon]

Fixed that for you.

Congratulations, old bean. You have single-handedly debunked and disproven the theory of Evolution with one interweb forum post. I can already see the Zombie Darwin bursting from the ground and retracting Origin of the Species overthis. You've proven to us that Evolution couldn't possibly be real, we must have all been created in the image of God Almighty, while He was going Full Retard.

Wow! I wasn't even trying to disprove evolution! I patently rule!

 

[Grayjack]

Sharks are overrated, I want Dolphins with freakin' laser beams attached to their heads.

 

[Ben Legend]

Run to the hills, run for your lives.

 

[minarri]

This is old news.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28315

 

[Berethond]

This is old news.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28315

Really?
If somebody had paid attention, they might have noticed that it was originally posted in January.

EDIT:
Okay.
that is old news.

 

[AkJay]

Everything is evolving in slight changes, we are just to blind to notice, some evolution takes place in nano-seconds.

 

[LaughingTarget]

Dolphins really aren't that intelligent. Their tool use is on par with a human infant. Their brain may be physically larger, but this is held back by numerous factors:

- The average dolphin is considerably larger than a human. Larger body size = more brain power dedicated to locomotion and less to other things.

- The dolphin's brain has thicker insulation, which is needed for ocean survival yet has no function for brain activity, when this is removed, the dolphin's brain is actually smaller than the human brain (when the insulation is removed from the human brain as well)

- The dolphin's brain has a smaller surface area than a human's, which is the primary function of intelligence. This is due to fewer "wrinkles" as well as the smaller volume.

The effect of having to dedicate more brain function to locomotion with a smaller brain makes the dolphin objectively less capable intellectually than humans. Yes, they're bright creatures, yet not some kind of super-animal. The human has the highest cognitive function of any animal species on the planet and even our least intelligent members are more capable than the upper echelon the dolphin intelligence.

That and tool use has been known for a very long time among the Australian bottlenose community, making me wonder why the article was written in 2009.

 

[Ultrajoe]

That and tool use has been known for a very long time among the Australian bottlenose community

...And just when I was certain the box jellyfish were the scariest things in my god damn water. Great, now even if I flee from the funnelwebs in my boat, the dolphins will cut me down as I run. I don't know what to be afraid of, the ones with eight legs or the ones with none... or the ones with flippers...

The latter doesn't make your eyes bleed, but that's not to say they can't invent a way to do it.

 

[TK421]

I don't belive they're evolving. Adapting maybe. But if they did we should be friendly untill they attack us. Then, we crush them.

 

[NeedAUserName]

Spoiler: Why No One Should Be Afraid Of Dolphins

It is a picture of my T Shirt...

I think we can all know agree, the crisis has been averted. And even if we can't just remember, we have thumbs and have equipment to go under water, they have fins and can't move on ground.

 

[VoidProphet]

When they invent language, learn it, and raise their culture drastically until they feel indebted to us. Then every nation on the planet will take bets as to who can make them their close allies first.

About a month after this, betting can begin on which Nation's dolphin allies will nuke the other nation's Dolphin Allies.

Soon there will be no more people wars. We will fight with dolphins.

 

[The_Chief]

i know people who can do things with their noses that are better then that. but they aren't evolving or becoming smarter.

 

[dontworryaboutit]

This sounds like that episode of the Simpsons where Lisa helps the dolphins, only for them to turn around and force everyone in the town into the lake.

Awesome thread necroing!
*high five*

This.

Also, as a rule aren't most species evolving? With the exception of those already perfected.

 

[Lonan]

This sounds like that episode of the Simpsons where Lisa helps the dolphins, only for them to turn around and force everyone in the town into the lake.

Awesome thread necroing!
*high five*

This.

Also, as a rule aren't most species evolving? With the exception of those already perfected.

No species has perfected, or are you referring to humans? Also, perfection is a concept, much like absolute zero is a concept. It doesn't actually exist, it's a theoretical state of being. There are infinite things you can be good at, so therefore you cannot be good at all of them, nor comprehend all of them, and so perfection is impossible. Also, there is no magical limit to how good you can be at something, therefore perfection is impossible in that sense as well. Not in the sense that it cannot be obtained, but in the sense that is does not exist in the first place.

 

[dontworryaboutit]

This sounds like that episode of the Simpsons where Lisa helps the dolphins, only for them to turn around and force everyone in the town into the lake.

Awesome thread necroing!
*high five*

This.

Also, as a rule aren't most species evolving? With the exception of those already perfected.

No species has perfected, or are you referring to humans? Also, perfection is a concept, much like absolute zero is a concept. It doesn't actually exist, it's a theoretical state of being. There are infinite things you can be good at, so therefore you cannot be good at all of them, nor comprehend all of them, and so perfection is impossible. Also, there is no magical limit to how good you can be at something, therefore perfection is impossible in that sense as well. Not in the sense that it cannot be obtained, but in the sense that is does not exist in the first place.

I'm talking about things like crocodiles and sharks which haven't needed to evolve for a very long time.