Don't blame Princess Peach for being kidnapped. Blame Bowser for kidnapping her

[Godhead]

I blame neither, for if Bowser stops trying to kidnap Peach or Peach successfully evades Bowser, the shackles holding this mortal coil shall unravel, leading to the destruction of all. And in the death of this world, a new one shall emerge, as it has been for time immemorial.

Spoiler: Tin foil hat on!

 

[JoJo]

Hey guys, Peach deserves all the blame for never telling Mario he needn't risk his life to interrupt her fake kidnapping play with Bowser. Peach has never been into Mario. Bowser is the man and that's why she's always getting kidnapped. It's a fetish.

I think this theory has legs, after-all what reason would Bowser Jr have to think that Peach might be his mother in New Super Mario Bros other his father and Peach having had... close relations in the past? >.>

 

[veloper]

Hey guys, Peach deserves all the blame for never telling Mario he needn't risk his life to interrupt her fake kidnapping play with Bowser. Peach has never been into Mario. Bowser is the man and that's why she's always getting kidnapped. It's a fetish.

I think this theory has legs, after-all what reason would Bowser Jr have to think that Peach might be his mother in New Super Mario Bros other his father and Peach having had... close relations in the past? >.>

Also consider how Peach can totally kick ass in other Mario franchise games like SSBB. Bowser should have got his ass kicked by Peach at least half of the time, if Peach didn't like what he was doing.

 

[Ravenbom]

Don't you guys know it's a different Peach every time? It's just like Zelda, different Peaches with branching timelines.
The timelines split in Super Mario World when Mario and company vacationed back in time to Dinosaur Land.

"Time travel! That impossible!" you say.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mario's_Time_Machine

 

[Casual Shinji]

You know what...I?m not gonna bite. You know what excuses it? It?s a simple framing device for a fun, nonsensical cartoon platformer! If this were bioshock or the last of us or silent hill or something I could see a thread or conversation like this having merit. But you guys are picking at the bones of a silly cartoon. This is idiotic! I swear to god, you people could make a sunset impossible to enjoy!

It ties into more than just Mario --It's about Nintendo holding onto the same old character beats, to the point where all these gameworlds start to feel stale. Remember when Zelda Wii-U was first revealed and everyone lost their shit because of the prospect that Link might be a girl? Something new and fresh in a Nintendo universe...

 

[Roboshi]

*Bangs head against a wall repeatedly* "I blame Nintendo for not writing a better story" "Don't blame peach blame Bowser" "She's not a weak female character" Just....IT'S A GOD DAMN CARTOON PEOPLE!

Exactly! This is like people digging up every episode of loony toons and going "Wily Coyote trying to catch Road runner AGAIN? write a better story people"

Some games leave parts on auto pilot so they can make the important parts the best they could be, and with Mario games it's often the story. The point of a mario game is the level design and platforming, not exploring the dystopian future where mushrooms are enslaved to feed the turtle king.

Remember, we got a Mario with a story, it was the movie. Let us never speak of it again.

 

[freaper]

So the plot of every[footnote]not every[/footnote] Mario game is to save princess Peach, which means that for there to be a Mario game Peach has to be kidnapped. Maybe we don't see all the kidnapping attempts because Peach manages to fight off Bowser and thus, because there was no need for Mario to help out we don't get to see it for ourselves. Plus, in Super Mario Galaxy Bowser arrives with flying ships and uproots Peach's castle with the help of a UFO. I don't care how many trained guards you have, at some point it's out of Peach's hands.

Or, the writers at Nintendo are lazy AF.

 

[DudeistBelieve]

It's a trope almost as old as gaming itself. Princess Peach being kidnapped by Bowser, with Mario having to rescue her. Gamers of several generations have often criticised her for this, saying things like "she gets kidnapped too much" or, "she's incompetent" because of how often she gets imprisoned. And while I, for a long time, shared this sentiment, I came to realise something that, frankly, I probably should have picked up on much sooner.

Why are we blaming Peach for this? She didn't want this. She's the victim here, and yet we're constantly putting her down because of somebody ELSE's crime, namely Bowsers. HE'S the villain here. HE'S the one kidnapping this woman and dragging her from her home, so why isn't HE the one who gets the criticism?

I doubt I'm the only one who has thought of this, but yeah, it's just something I thought I should put out there for discussion.

Cause she's like the god damn head of state in her country and has done absolutely nothing in terms of increasing her country's national security? It damn well is her fault.

If president obama was kidnapped TWICE we'd be up in arms over the Secret Service's failure to properly protect him.

Besides that, she goes and plays tennis/go karts/golf/whatever with her kidnapper?! C'mon!!!

 

[NerAnima]

Why are we blaming Peach for this? She didn't want this.

After over thirty years it should be abundantly clear that it's all a game to them and nobody's kidnapping anybody.

Peach gets herself into a 'vulnerable' position, Bowser 'kidnaps' her and Mario get to jump in to the 'rescue,'

A good laugh is had by all and they go karting or play tennis on the weekends. That in itself should be the give away that the whole thing's play acting...

Exactly this! Tennis, go-karting, party games? How could anyone not realize what good friends they all are? That's some damned fine LARPing they do too, getting the whole kingdom involved. Bowser's even got his kids involved in the hobby, which makes him a fine parent too!

Hmm, I like this angle on it all, a bit hard to believe with Super Mario Galaxy, but then again, that one had a more solid story. Still, I like the SMB3/Mario Party 2 angle that you're both putting forward, that it's all an act, a play, and every last person is in on the joke. Hell, it would explain how Bowser is always ready for another go after we see him 'beaten' or 'killed' in the last one.

Well, that or the branching timelines that someone suggested up above. Edit: Whoops...

 

[NerAnima]

*Bangs head against a wall repeatedly* "I blame Nintendo for not writing a better story" "Don't blame peach blame Bowser" "She's not a weak female character" Just....IT'S A GOD DAMN CARTOON PEOPLE!

Exactly! This is like people digging up every episode of loony toons and going "Wily Coyote trying to catch Road runner AGAIN? write a better story people"

Some games leave parts on auto pilot so they can make the important parts the best they could be, and with Mario games it's often the story. The point of a mario game is the level design and platforming, not exploring the dystopian future where mushrooms are enslaved to feed the turtle king.

Remember, we got a Mario with a story, it was the movie. Let us never speak of it again.

There was also Super Mario Galaxy, and the RPG Mario's (which probably don't count), maybe even the Mario Party games, again, not a great story in those either, but it's something. And Super Mario Galaxy was really good, actually, wasn't Citizen Kane levels of story-telling, but it was a good vessel.

I'm not saying that we should expect a story from every Mario game from here on out, we already have Zelda for contrived reasons to do this again, but it would be nice to get a story from it every now and then. I'll elaborate more if need be.

Besides, it would be nice to see Rosalina or Daisy have to deal with this for once, if only so Peach can kindly get out of the bloody picture; or hell, have Luigi be the one captured, or Mario, with the younger brother filling his shoes (wait, that's the plot for the Mansion games, never mind). But let's get Peach or Bowser out of the picture, switch it up a bit.

 

[ObsidianJones_v1legacy]

Well, as it's been said before that Nintendo isn't the most forward thinking when it comes to Peach, giving her The Powers of PMS [https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=Princess+Peach+Power+of+PMS]. So yeah, of course it will always go to bad story writing because Super Mario isn't real and thought up by people.

But, to play devil's advocate.

Say Super Mario 3 and all is canon. If that's the case, how many Warships have Mario taken over? How many boats and the like? Could they simply not... I don't know, reclaim them and use them to defend the Princess? Could the Princess have more motivation than baking cakes?

There are things the Princess could do to protect her safety if she wanted. The Toads have learned how to use machines, of course. This isn't that far of a stretch.

My more important question is... how is Mario still chunky?

 

[PhantomEcho]

I hardly think it matters at all, the gameplay is the focus of Mario, saving the Princess is just there to give a reason to the gameplay, now you can say "why does it have to be a Princess getting kidnapped, why not come up with a better story?" but it really doesn't matter, Mario Bros isn't trying to tell some important story, or really much of a story at all.

The whole discussion is pretty silly if you ask me, but whatevs, if people wanna make a big deal out of something that's totes not a big deal, that's up to them.

Basically this.

The simple story is in service to a simple game and there's absolutely no reason it needs to be different. It's fine to ASK for a more interesting story, but the reality is that a more complicated story would only serve to distract from what is essentially a one-note game. You jump, you squish, you fly, you fall, you collect coins, you get 1UPs, you hit the POW button and then you ride a flagpole/collect a card/cross the finish line/go into a castle/slide down a pipe into the next level.

Occasionally you get Thwomped. That's the complexity of Mario's life... of the Mushroom Kingdom's world. If you think any deeper than that about it, you're honestly wasting brain cells that could have been better spent picking that pesky booger out of your nose and eating it.

 

[TheMysteriousGX]

My own thought process was closer to "or, instead of two palette-swapped toads for players 3 and 4, you could have Toad and Peach and the four of them could take back the Mushroom Kingdom together" which would also solve the silhouette problem at the same time.

Past that, blame's on the writers. Can't put blame on things with no free will, after all. Not even that evil Blender.[footnote]Bender, of course, would use Fry as a fall guy.[/footnote]

 

[Silvanus]

My more important question is... how is Mario still chunky?

Have you seen the size of the food he eats [http://www.mariowiki.com/Mega_Mushroom]?

 

[IamLEAM1983]

It's a trope almost as old as gaming itself. Princess Peach being kidnapped by Bowser, with Mario having to rescue her. Gamers of several generations have often criticised her for this, saying things like "she gets kidnapped too much" or, "she's incompetent" because of how often she gets imprisoned. And while I, for a long time, shared this sentiment, I came to realise something that, frankly, I probably should have picked up on much sooner.

Why are we blaming Peach for this? She didn't want this. She's the victim here, and yet we're constantly putting her down because of somebody ELSE's crime, namely Bowsers. HE'S the villain here. HE'S the one kidnapping this woman and dragging her from her home, so why isn't HE the one who gets the criticism?

I doubt I'm the only one who has thought of this, but yeah, it's just something I thought I should put out there for discussion.

Fair enough, but here's why I'll keep blaming Peach.

She's a monarch. She rules over a kingdom which, inexplicably enough, has no army or no tangible armed force. Her castle is the least secure seat of governance gaming has ever seen. No footmen, no grunts, no spies - nothing. Time and again, she depends on a plucky Italian plumber - a PLUMBER, not a soldier - to save her kingdom or at the very least, her own damn life.

You'd figure she would've learned by now.

 

[Kolby Jack]

I agree. Not every character needs to be an action hero. Some aren't suited to that role, either due to other responsibilities or having people they can depend on to do that for them. Even then, Peach has taken care of herself on some occasions, which is more than can be said for certain other characters.

For instance, there's a character in this MMO I play, FFXIV, named Minfillia (another blond girl with a penchant for pink, strangely enough). She's explicitly known as a diplomat, an activist, and a negotiator. This has naturally made her a target. Thus, she gets held hostage more than once in the game. Despite this, she never shows fear in the face of threats, never sells out her comrades, and always does the right thing. Yet people still criticize her for being "weak" because she doesn't know how to fight. Some of it is good-natured ribbing, sure, but there are always those who really believe she's nothing more than a burden. I don't get it. You don't see people criticizing the leader of the UN for not going out and killing ne'er-do-wells. That'd be ridiculous.

 

[Shinkicker444]

For instance, there's a character in this MMO I play, FFXIV, named Minfillia (another blond girl with a penchant for pink, strangely enough). She's explicitly known as a diplomat, an activist, and a negotiator. This has naturally made her a target. Thus, she gets held hostage more than once in the game. Despite this, she never shows fear in the face of threats, never sells out her comrades, and always does the right thing. Yet people still criticize her for being "weak" because she doesn't know how to fight. Some of it is good-natured ribbing, sure, but there are always those who really believe she's nothing more than a burden. I don't get it. You don't see people criticizing the leader of the UN for not going out and killing ne'er-do-wells. That'd be ridiculous.

To be fair, we all know that Tataru is the real hero. No one suspects her, she's just that good.

Slightly more serious, doesn't Mini fight during the escape at the end of patch 2.55, or at least it is implied, to buy you time. Hell the first time Alphinaud pulled out his book in Ishgard it stood out because I don't think I'd ever seen him do that before (and I find him more annoying than Mini ever is).

As to the topic, honestly... Excuse Plot is the reason it's just a framing device for the classic old fairy tale story, looking for more than that is really a waste of time. But if you want too, well considering all the Go Karting and party games they do with each other, clearly the kidnapping is just something they do every other weekend for fun.

 

[Dragonlayer]

How is it Bowser's fault when she's dressed like that? Honestly, I think Peach just wants to be kidnapped, like so many female game characters; all pining for male attention.

 

[wulf3n]

Eh, in the game universe, Peach has a lucrative kingdom, she can hire people to teach the toads to jump on enemies. she can grow fire flowers. hire guards, build canons, throw some logs together and build tanks and airships coz it works for koopa. Have treasure tracker toads find debris from beaten bowser vehicles to reverse engineer. Get some invincible power up stars and have the

Spoiler: TOOOOOOOOOOOOOAD WARRIOR

<youtube=69-3-J8cq0s>

do something. Hell, spawn an army of them.
Grow an army of piranha plants. Make a series of 10ft walls. Anything not outright flying will just get turned around.

Indeed she doesn't. But why is that? Maybe she's not really being kidnapped at all? There don't appear to be any negative consequences after each escapade. And if you include the spin-off party games, all the characters appear to be pretty chummy, playing golf, tennis, go-karting, and various other party games with each other.

I don't know, I just don't get the impression that Peach gets captured so often because she can't defend herself. Maybe she lets herself get captured out of pity for Bowser and Mario, because that's their raison d'etre. Without it they're nothing and she knows it.

 

[maninahat]

It needs to be said, IT'S A FUC**** NINTENDO GAME!

Dear god, do people really need to go the whole sexism tropes on a game series that is quite literally nostalgia incarnate for a time when large complicated stories were hard to insert to a game?

Well you don't, but you did.

It's just feels like an easy target despite even it doesn't take itself seriously.

It is an easy target, but a fair one. Mario is probably the single biggest mascot in gaming, and the game can afford a bit of light hearted criticism for not switching up the proceedings more often.