Don't drop the soap

[TheTejs]

his genitalia are now diamonds!
ha!

oh wait... fuck

 

[Voodoomancer]

Forgo showering while in jail.

Preventive measures FTW.

 

[TheRundownRabbit]

A straight punch to the throat or the center of his ribs, one punch in either of those places would incapacitate him long enough for me to get out and piss off one of the guards so they put me in solitary confinement

 

[TheRundownRabbit]

As he advances towards me, he will be so distracted he will not notice my long, snakelike [censored] sneaking up around him. Then before he knows it, it will strike and it will [censored] his [censored] repeatedly. It will then [censored][censored][censored] like a [censored] shish kabob. When he almost captures his breath it will [censored] and then wrap around his throat and then [censored]. [censored] [censored] [censored] chicken [censored] [censored] [censored] [censored], a technique I refer to as "the zeppelin", which would be followed by [censored] [censored] and [censored] unicorn [censored].

I lulz'd at this, bravo sir

 

[Art3rius]

I wish I could tell you that I would fight the good fight and everyone would let me be. I wish I could tell you that, but prison is no fairy-tale world.

I first heard of that in Family Guy, haha. Monopoly Guy.