Don't drop the soap

[Knusper]

Kick him in the shins and run like hell or make sure you have the laxative-rich dinner the night before you plan to shower... so that's every day. Alternatively, start up a conversation on a common interest whilst edging towards the nearest sharp thing you can find... like a whittled banana (well you can find all sorts of funny stuff in prison).

 

[zehydra]

Load up on Turbo Laxatives.


Or get a tattoo on my ass that says "ONE-WAY"

That'd be interesting one to explain after you get out of prison.

 

[JourneyThroughHell]

Erm... this thread is not particularly cheerful, is it?

So, I'll cheer it up.

In case of that, I'll... attempt suicide.

Wait, no, that's not cheerful.

 

[neoontime]

Well when an attacker is approaching, its best to thrust back in a quick motion to push them away. Thinking of words such as "This booty is mine" also helps

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

"I have AIDS"

If he's sensible, my ass should be fine for my enitre incarceration.

 

[robotam]

I wish I could tell you that I would fight the good fight and everyone would let me be. I wish I could tell you that, but prison is no fairy-tale world.

 

[robotam]

You know prison rape doesn't happen as often as they say in the movies.

tell that to my crippled arse.

 

[lacktheknack]

Recite the entire Cthulhu incantation, start singing Akira Yamaoka's <link=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=liJfyxmzkMQ>"Prayer", then shriek and bite his neck. Six hundred and sixty six times.

Even in prison, they stay away from the crazies.

 

[ThreeWords]

What a horrible thread. I don't even

This. Why would you do such a

 

[lacktheknack]

What a horrible thread. I don't even

This. Why would you do such a

OK, someone invoked Candlejack. Who's the idiot who sai

 

[Burst6]

Multiple knees to the privates solves everything. I won't get raped and he won't be annoyed by sexual desires anymore.

 

[niege]

You know prison rape doesn't happen as often as they say in the movies.

tell that to my crippled arse.

I smell a horrible story here :O

OT:say that you are...idk i rather skip this conversation

 

[Dags90]

"I have AIDS"

If he's sensible, my ass should be fine for my enitre incarceration.

You might want to know that AIDS is actually pretty common in the male prison population in the U.S. It doesn't really stop many rapes from occurring, which is why it has become such a problem.

You know prison rape doesn't happen as often as they say in the movies.

In the U.S., prison rape rates vary widely by institution but it's still a serious problem.

My best bet would be to join a prison gang (probably the Aryan Brotherhood) for protection. If I'm lucky, maybe protective custody. That's unlikely though.

 

[El Poncho]

I heard it only happens in USA so i'm safe.

 

[Lilani]

I wouldn't be in jail in the first place.

 

[CrystalShadow]

Um, try not to bend over?

Seriously, I unfortunately know what it's like to be on the receiving end of this. -_-'

Not pleasant. But also, it came as a complete surprise just how easily someone can shove something in your butt...

So, don't bend over near anyone. XD

Or, you know, at least try to get something out of the situation...

Perhaps just imply that you actually enjoy it? That seems to put people off. XD

 

[FolkLikePanda]

I'd kick it to someone else, if he tried it on me I'd bite out his jugular vein.

 

[USSR]

OK, someone invoked Candlejack. Who's the idiot who sai

I'd rather say Candlejack than get ra

 

[Zeekar]

Best thread or best thread?

I'd probably have to go with the explosive diarrhea excuse.

 

[camokkid]

What a horrible thread. I don't even

This. Why would you do such a

OK, someone invoked Candlejack. Who's the idiot who sai

You're not supposed to say Candlejack, Now we're all do-