Don't drop the soap

[imnot]

This is the best thread that has ever been posted on this site.

What about this one http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.234360-What-would-you-do-if-you-found-out-you-are-really-two-midgets-in-a-trench-coat?page=1

OT: emergancy temporal shift myself the hell out of there.

 

[rokkolpo]

Run away...in jail

I was intending to return to my cell, but while I'm at it, I expect my stay would be more pleasant if I escaped altogether. Thanks for the plan.

If only other inmates knew of this plan. xD

 

[Knusper]

Kick him in the shins and run like hell or make sure you have the laxative-rich dinner the night before you plan to shower... so that's every day. Alternatively, start up a conversation on a common interest whilst edging towards the nearest sharp thing you can find... like a whittled banana (well you can find all sorts of funny stuff in prison).

 

[zehydra]

Load up on Turbo Laxatives.


Or get a tattoo on my ass that says "ONE-WAY"

That'd be interesting one to explain after you get out of prison.

 

[JourneyThroughHell]

Erm... this thread is not particularly cheerful, is it?

So, I'll cheer it up.

In case of that, I'll... attempt suicide.

Wait, no, that's not cheerful.

 

[neoontime]

Well when an attacker is approaching, its best to thrust back in a quick motion to push them away. Thinking of words such as "This booty is mine" also helps

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

"I have AIDS"

If he's sensible, my ass should be fine for my enitre incarceration.

 

[robotam]

I wish I could tell you that I would fight the good fight and everyone would let me be. I wish I could tell you that, but prison is no fairy-tale world.

 

[robotam]

You know prison rape doesn't happen as often as they say in the movies.

tell that to my crippled arse.

 

[lacktheknack]

Recite the entire Cthulhu incantation, start singing Akira Yamaoka's <link=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=liJfyxmzkMQ>"Prayer", then shriek and bite his neck. Six hundred and sixty six times.

Even in prison, they stay away from the crazies.

 

[ThreeWords]

What a horrible thread. I don't even

This. Why would you do such a

 

[lacktheknack]

What a horrible thread. I don't even

This. Why would you do such a

OK, someone invoked Candlejack. Who's the idiot who sai

 

[Burst6]

Multiple knees to the privates solves everything. I won't get raped and he won't be annoyed by sexual desires anymore.

 

[niege]

You know prison rape doesn't happen as often as they say in the movies.

tell that to my crippled arse.

I smell a horrible story here :O

OT:say that you are...idk i rather skip this conversation

 

[Dags90]

"I have AIDS"

If he's sensible, my ass should be fine for my enitre incarceration.

You might want to know that AIDS is actually pretty common in the male prison population in the U.S. It doesn't really stop many rapes from occurring, which is why it has become such a problem.

You know prison rape doesn't happen as often as they say in the movies.

In the U.S., prison rape rates vary widely by institution but it's still a serious problem.

My best bet would be to join a prison gang (probably the Aryan Brotherhood) for protection. If I'm lucky, maybe protective custody. That's unlikely though.

 

[El Poncho]

I heard it only happens in USA so i'm safe.

 

[Lilani]

I wouldn't be in jail in the first place.