Dumbest puzzle solutions you've ever seen

[Dalisclock]

In Life is Strange, the protagonist Chloe gets impossibly powerful, reality bending super powers that let her rewind time itself. One of the earlier uses of this incredible ability is to... make an obstructive teenager move out of the way. Rather than just step around the obnoxious girl, Chloe has to repeatedly go back in time to set up a complicated Rube Goldberg machine in which a paint can has to fall off of some nearby scaffolding and cover the kid in paint.

It won't be the most convoluted or ridiculous puzzle on the list here, but it feels especially egregious for being so at odds with the story the game is telling.

Especially since she could have just asked the security officer to tell her to move.

I enjoyed LiS but I was kind of annoyed how Max's Power pretty much worked however the writer wanted it to work at that particular moment. At first it was rewind, then it was that wierd "overdose" where Max could freeze time but then couldn't rewind again for a while, which never happens again, then there's the whole going back in time via a photograph thing which is never really explained either.

 

[Recusant]

There was one like that in Hotel Dusk as well. How about the one in Gabriel Knight 3 where you have to make a fake mustache to disguise yourself as a guy who doesn't have a mustache.

This example comes up every time I see this topic discussed, and it never gets any less stupid. Yes, you're putting on a fake mustache- to explain why you don't look like the ID picture of the guy you're impersonating. You're not trying to fool someone who actually knows him, just a moped rental guy. By Sierra standards, this puzzle is downright generous. Don't believe me? Find yourself an old adventure gamer and say the following phrase out loud: "Would you feed this pie to the starving eagle?". They'll do the rest.

 

[Dalisclock]

There was one like that in Hotel Dusk as well. How about the one in Gabriel Knight 3 where you have to make a fake mustache to disguise yourself as a guy who doesn't have a mustache.

This example comes up every time I see this topic discussed, and it never gets any less stupid. Yes, you're putting on a fake mustache- to explain why you don't look like the ID picture of the guy you're impersonating. You're not trying to fool someone who actually knows him, just a moped rental guy. By Sierra standards, this puzzle is downright generous. Don't believe me? Find yourself an old adventure gamer and say the following phrase out loud: "Would you feed this pie to the starving eagle?". They'll do the rest.

You feed him half the chicken leg because you need the pie to throw at the Yeti. The chicken leg you got from escaping from the Inn you get thrown into a locked basement of just by walking through the front door, but escaping required a hammer to break the padlock(on the inside of the door, for some reason) and that you threw a boot at a cat chasing a rat during a very limited time window for no particular reason earlier so the rat could chew through the ropes holding your hands.

And then there was Codename: Iceman, which just hates you. This includes a mandatory gambling puzzle which was pretty much entirely dependent on the RNG. If you try to save scum through your way through the mini-game, your opponent calls you a cheater, refuses to gamble anymore so you can't get what you need from him(a part for the submarine you're the Captain of and he's a crew member working for you so you can fix it) and the game is rendered unwinnable.

Only slightly less dickish from the same game was the fact that at the beginning, you go to the Pentagon and are asked to give the guard your ID to get inside. When you leave, the guard gives you the wrong ID card but unless you explicitly look at it you won't realize this until about half the game later when you need that ID card and then you're boned because you can't go back to the Pentagon to get it.

I'm not making any of this up. This is the torturous adventure game logic that was once standard in Sierra games because otherwise it would only take 4 hours to beat the game otherwise. Making a stupid mustache from cat hair to impersonate someone is a minor sin by comparison(and one I'm more then happy for forgive considering the big Gamelong La Serpant Rouge puzzle from GK3 is done so well) .

 

[Specter Von Baren]

Ya know since I brought it up earlier and I haven't seen anyone else bring it up, here's the 'Rubber Ducky Puzzle' from The Longest Journey.

Visuals!

Quote by someone else who put it better than me.

The Longest Journey - Rubber Duck

You know puzzles are just getting out of hand when you read #5 in our list of the 10 Most Difficult Puzzles in Video Games.
In The Longest Journey, the player comes across a key that is lodged into a subway track. In order to retrieve this key, you need to go through what feels like the longest series of events.

First, you need to go back to your apartment to get a clamp. This clamp can only be taken off a water pressure system if you use a gold ring to conduct electricity and get the system powered up, thus loosening the clamp ( Remember to retrieve the gold ring ! ) .

After that, you need to look outside your apartment's window and throw food crumbs at a rubber duck down below. This will make a seagull come down to feast on the crumbs, ultimately damaging the toy.

Then, grab a clothesline, head out of the apartment, locate the duck near the cafe April works in, , tie the line to the clamp, put it through the opening of the toy, and re-inflate the duck the make the clamp stay open. ( quote end)

Lastly, (new quote - TLJ walkthrough ) :
Subway - Iron Key: Go out to the platform and look at the sparks by the rail at the left of the screen There is a large key stuck between the rail and high voltage cable.
Save game here.
In inventory, use mouth on rubber duck to blow it up. Be sure that the band-aid has been removed from the rubber ducky.
Look close (eye icon) at the rubber duck in inventory .
( if you do not use the eye icon to look, April will NOT say the right words you need for this puzzle to be resolved ! .
Then, while at close up of the duck in the background, right click to get inventory.
Use clamp on inflated rubber duck to open the clamp.
Combine this with the clothesline. Immediately, click this makeshift fishing pole on the spark to get the iron key.
If not fast enough, the clamp closes because the rubber duck is deflated too fast before being around the key and have to start over.

That`s all . Simple

The creator of the game themselves said in response to being asked how they came up with the puzzle, "I have no idea. I think it was the lack of sleep. Also, possibly, the drugs."

 

[laggyteabag]

I dont mind hard puzzles

I dont mind easy puzzles

I just hate pointless ones

Skyrim, for example, frequently has the "match the 3 symbols to open the door" style of puzzle, but the answer to the puzzle is literally above the door, in big matching symbols.

The only way that this could serve as any form of effective defense mechanism, is if your random crypt full of undead warriors, was suddenly attacked by a horde of blind looters, or people with no motor functions.