Dumbest Things Heard In School

[Guitar Gamer]

i have another one!

Mr.C- New amsterdam was a dutch settlement. what did they build first.... im going to hate myself for this but...Moonie.

Moonie-Factories.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Mr.C ok who can name 10 states....Moonie.

Moonie- New jersey, New york, California......

Mr.C- This is why we dont do drugs children.

now I am no american, just a plain 'ol goofy canuck but aren't new jersey, new york and california states? or did she only say those 3? or am I missing the point?

the point is she could only name 3.

and she was a legidimet american? not one of those cheap rip offs?

 

[Emilin_Rose]

I've never been witness to any stupidity of a mentionable nature at my school, but:

"What's so bad about communism?"

*Epic face palm*

The first two are beyond retarded; would you care to explain this one?

I do believe it was meant in the sense of the "communism" that ruled russia and a few other countries over the years. That however was not communism, but totalitarianism(wow, spelled that right on my first try), which was practiced under the guise of communism.

 

[Emilin_Rose]

tl;dr "What's so bad about communism?" is a valid question

Only for morons like yourself. Get over the whole "all people who badmouth communism are brainwashed!" bullshit, communism is bad because it's so easy to abuse and usurp. It also completely and utterly destroys creativity and innovation; both are expressions of individuality whereas communism focuses on everyone being equal. Since a doctor is treated the same as a janitor, why should the doctor work harder? It's not going to make much of a difference. Oh sure you'll get the odd doctor whose actually in the field to help people (God bless them, another thing communism hates) but for the most part it's a means to gaining lots of money and therefore of survival. Whereas over in commie-land the only plusses are being able to pat yourself on the back and being able to apply your medical knowledge whenever you get hurt.

tl;dr Communist is bad because it's flawed and can't survive the human element.

This is why the government needs a law that limits how much money one can pass on to their children. That way we don't get people like Paris Hilton with any sort of money or political power, and can give rise to a society that has a chance at both creativity and intelligence.

but they won't. People are stupid.

and before someone goes off on "punishing them for being born rich" this is not punishing them. This is setting them off on equal grounds as anyone else. It is simply the removal of extensive privilege through birth.

On topic: i had to explain to someone that a fox is not a breed of dog. Twice. In a 10th grade biology classroom. Damn idiots.

 

[Normalguyinthehouse]

"Whats a Thermometer?" and "Korean people aren't Asian because they're too brown." Same person.
Also someone asked when World War III happened

 

[Normalguyinthehouse]

Mr.C- someone point to where China iss..... Moonie.

*Moonie gets up to the map*

Moonie- where again Mr.C?

Mr.C- *slightly annoyed* China Moonie, China. *Does the whole racist chinese eye thing* you know.

Moonie- Oh ok.*points to AFRICA*

Mr.C- Moonie...go stand in the corner. Chris(me) come up and show my china.

*i go up. point to china*

Mr.C-Very good chris.

Moonie-WHAT?!? i thought that was japan!

Another funny Moonie moment. she isn't to bright.

We were disscussing Roanoke and he asked us to give some logical reasoning as to how they could of disappeared.

Moonie- Maybe the boat shrunk or was eaten by a whale.

Mr.C- Moonie...did you just suggest the boat shrunk or was eaten by a whale?

Moonie- Yea!

Mr.C- Moonie. i'm never calling on you again.

This all went down in the last 3 days.

I'm loving this Mr.C guy!

 

[PsykoDragon]

Physics. We had a new Physics teacher in our last year in school. She was fat. I mean FAT. She must've been ill or something because it wasn't normal, she was mushy fat & had HUMONGOUS sagging breasts. Like a Michelin woman (better comparison: Boomerette).

Anyway, me & my friend are sitting side-by-side at the same desk. Teach's explaining a new subject. My friend turns to me & whispers "I didn't get this, did you?"
Me: "Nope."
Him: "I'll ask the teacher then."
Me: "Are you stupid?! Don't do that! Trust me."
Him: "Miss? I didn't really understand how this equation works, can you explain again please?"
Teach: "Of course dear."

The thing I dreaded happened. Teach strolled over to behind him to look at the equation in his book. I pulled farther against the wall, acting relaxed. She leaned over. She practically draped his face with her money-bags & her saggy fat was pressing all the way down to the small of his back.

I took a peek at his face from under the landslide that was explaining the equation to him. He couldn't hear her, partially because he was so revolted & partially because her boobs had sealed his ears. He looked like he was in physical pain. His eyes barely glanced in my direction & I saw him mouth the word "help" X(

I... was... in such turmoil... struggling so hard not to have a Malkavian hysterics episode right there. I was biting my hand & coughing. When Teach said "You get it now?" he squeaked "yes". She lurched off of him. His eyes were wide. "I told you not to ask her you dumbass..."

I treated him to a drink during break time. He never asked her a question again. EVER.

EDIT: my bad, I just realized that this wasn't exactly a stupid thing said in class, just a really sad, hilarious thing that happened. I somehow saw it coming, but I don't see how anyone without my messed-up mind could have.

 

[MalevolentJim]

"Theres something wrong with my calculator.I did the sum and all i got was numbers."

.....

Makes you think that the human race ain't all its cracked up to be huh?

 

[The_Chief]

i have another one!

Mr.C- New amsterdam was a dutch settlement. what did they build first.... im going to hate myself for this but...Moonie.

Moonie-Factories.
_____________________________________________________________________________________________

Mr.C ok who can name 10 states....Moonie.

Moonie- New jersey, New york, California......

Mr.C- This is why we dont do drugs children.

now I am no american, just a plain 'ol goofy canuck but aren't new jersey, new york and california states? or did she only say those 3? or am I missing the point?

the point is she could only name 3.

and she was a legidimet american? not one of those cheap rip offs?

unfortunately. she's not allowed to speak in class anymore.

 

[The_Chief]

Mr.C- someone point to where China iss..... Moonie.

*Moonie gets up to the map*

Moonie- where again Mr.C?

Mr.C- *slightly annoyed* China Moonie, China. *Does the whole racist chinese eye thing* you know.

Moonie- Oh ok.*points to AFRICA*

Mr.C- Moonie...go stand in the corner. Chris(me) come up and show my china.

*i go up. point to china*

Mr.C-Very good chris.

Moonie-WHAT?!? i thought that was japan!

Another funny Moonie moment. she isn't to bright.

We were disscussing Roanoke and he asked us to give some logical reasoning as to how they could of disappeared.

Moonie- Maybe the boat shrunk or was eaten by a whale.

Mr.C- Moonie...did you just suggest the boat shrunk or was eaten by a whale?

Moonie- Yea!

Mr.C- Moonie. i'm never calling on you again.

This all went down in the last 3 days.

I'm loving this Mr.C guy!

everyone does. except moonie. shes not allowed to speak anymore.

 

[willic767]

A girl in my class today asked if Napoleon was a midget.
When asked, she said that he lived in Spain, and that he had a high voice.

Didn't he have that whole "midget" thing thrust upon him by lieu of being badmouthed by his enemies?
I recall reading something that was roughly of that nature.

I think it was more so that his body guards where just freaking tall, or something.

no he was 5 feet 2 inches

 

[Vilcus]

The one I heard/saw was in my Bio30 class (Grade 12 Biology for all those who might be wondering), the teacher had an overhead and it was about calories and carbohydrates. Then we get to this little passage, "One calorie is one kilocalorie is equal to 1000 calories" I don't know why but I find that particular piece of fail to be quite amusing.

 

[xXGeckoXx]

This happened last year in my American History class while we were watching the Normandy beach landing in Saving Private Ryan:

"Who's he?"
*Tom Hanks is shown* "Is that Ryan?" (also asked whenever any other guy showed up on screen)
"Why is that old guy sad?"
*at the cemetery* "Is this Normandy?"
"Why are they in boats?"
"Why doesn't the dead guy tell Tom Hanks that he's dead and doesn't need to be carried anymore?"
"Won't they be eaten by sharks?"

You get the idea. (all of these were asked by a class full of 11th graders.)

Where in the world was the *Facepalm* vendor when you needed him?
Seriously, you have my sympathy.

As a result of that whole event, the teacher never wanted to show a movie in class ever again and I got stuck in a several days long argument w/ a few of the 'tards on how there are no sharks in French waters because it's too cold.

I have to admit that I have spent too much time on national geographic and now know that great whites can make it up to the arctic circle before it becomes too cold.

 

[Octorok]

In Biology just yesterday, "So can anyone give me an example of a food chain?"

Idiot puts hand up. "Grass-Seeds-Chicken-KFC-Humans"

Teacher :...*facepalm*

 

[soren7550]

As a result of that whole event, the teacher never wanted to show a movie in class ever again and I got stuck in a several days long argument w/ a few of the 'tards on how there are no sharks in French waters because it's too cold.

I have to admit that I have spent too much time on national geographic and now know that great whites can make it up to the arctic circle before it becomes too cold.

The point is that there isn't any sharks in french waters or the english channel and christ I'm starting it again aren't I?

 

[xXGeckoXx]

I've lost count (and memory!) as to how many times I hear misinformation. But the best was the time one of my friends wrote 42 for all the answers to an Algebra test. All. i.e "Simplify 2X + 3Y = 64" "42"

When questioned, he claimed it was "the answer to everything." He failed the class.

If I ever meet that guy i'll buy him a pan galactic gargle blaster. Or maybe just a beer. I wish I had the balls to do that.

 

[xXGeckoXx]

As a result of that whole event, the teacher never wanted to show a movie in class ever again and I got stuck in a several days long argument w/ a few of the 'tards on how there are no sharks in French waters because it's too cold.

I have to admit that I have spent too much time on national geographic and now know that great whites can make it up to the arctic circle before it becomes too cold.

The point is that there isn't any sharks in french waters or the english channel and christ I'm starting it again aren't I?

There might be......But the chances are low. Every few years we get wales beached on the river Thames in Britain. Very few sharks venture as far north as that but if there was one then yes, they could be eaten by sharks. Probability my friend (no there are no sharks living in the channel)

 

[Nigh Invulnerable]

In my music class last year, we got this little gem:

"Who's John Lennon?"

There was also the incident of the list of countries involved in WW2 that didn't have Poland on it. I have yet to forgive my History teacher for that.

I would hardly rate not knowing who John Lennon is as a bad thing, just maybe unfamiliar with dead celebrities. If said person was a Beatles fan though...

Every time a person tells me they don't know who John Lennon is I just stare at them blankly for a few minutes before calling them retarded. He is one of the greatest men to ever have lived

Lennon was a musician. Nothing more. He wrote some great songs, but he's hardly worthy of the reverence so many people hold for him. Also, before you go calling someone retarded for not knowing who a dead song writer is, I have to ask if you know who several people are. Les Claypool, Kirk Hammett, Adam Jones, Danny Carrey, Maynard James Keenan, Scott Hull, Tony Iommi, Bruce Dickinson, John Petrucci, Paul Gilbert, Joe Satriani, Steve Vai, and many others. All of these musicians have written material that has influenced me greatly, but do I call you a retard for not knowing who they all are? No.

I know everybody you just named. Go me.

Well, then you are awesome and deserve a cookie. What type would you prefer? How bout a Pig Destroyer cookie (since you seem to know Scott Hull)?

[link]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_SqtCNhv44[/link]

My point was, however, just that not everyone finds Lennon to be "teh best EVAR" and gets tired of people proclaiming him to be the second coming of Christ or whatever (too bad he got shot).

 

[theultimateend]

Wasn't Bush not able to locate 5 random US states presented to him? I seem to recall something of that nature transpiring.

I know the average person apparently can't name all 50 states. Which is kind of a shocker to me. I admit some are process of elimination but it seems like a simple thing to remember.

The average person isn't an American, though.

Well if the average person wasn't so ignorant they'd know that I obviously was implying the average person raised in America.

*badumpish*

But seriously though. I get you wanted to be clever but it was pretty obvious what I meant. If someone in France said "The average person" and we were talking about French issues or intelligence everyone I know would assume they meant French people. Unless they say "The Average Person anywhere..."

 

[theultimateend]

Wasn't Bush not able to locate 5 random US states presented to him? I seem to recall something of that nature transpiring.

I know the average person apparently can't name all 50 states. Which is kind of a shocker to me. I admit some are process of elimination but it seems like a simple thing to remember.

If you give me a map, I can fill out at least 40, probably all 50, (been a few years since I looked at a map of the US) of the states on it, but I can't for the life of me remember more than 30-40 off the top of my head.

To be fair. There are about 10 states that we could just turn into nature reserves and nobody would be the worse for it .

 

[Normalguyinthehouse]

Oh another was in my World Civ. Class when the teacher went over Socrates and said his quote of "I know I know nothing" and one person blurted out "If he doesn't know anything, why does everyone think he's so smart?"