Dumbest Things Heard In School

[Cakes]

in my biology class a girl asked if the platypus was real.

Well, those things are pretty fucking unbelievable.

 

[Cakes]

The theory of evolution. Honestly how bogus can you get? Furthermore, they ACTUALLY told me that life on Earth has been around for 3 billion years. Ha! Everyone knows God made the Earth in 6 days, and it is only 5000 years old. And even if the Earth was that old, wouldn't there be way more fossils? And what about the compound eye? Surely such a complex structure can't be the product of "evolution", and is sure proof of Intellectual Design. The Bible holds ALL answers, even scientific ones, God says the Earth was flooded in Genesis, so that is why there are fossils and different geological layers. Nice try sinners, I won't fall for your traps!

Fuck, don't even joke about that. I've met people who truly think like this.
*shudders*

 

[Sinisterair]

The theory of evolution. Honestly how bogus can you get? Furthermore, they ACTUALLY told me that life on Earth has been around for 3 billion years. Ha! Everyone knows God made the Earth in 6 days, and it is only 5000 years old. And even if the Earth was that old, wouldn't there be way more fossils? And what about the compound eye? Surely such a complex structure can't be the product of "evolution", and is sure proof of Intellectual Design. The Bible holds ALL answers, even scientific ones, God says the Earth was flooded in Genesis, so that is why there are fossils and different geological layers. Nice try sinners, I won't fall for your traps!

haha belife in a higher power tickles me so.. dont get me wrong i dont care about religion but when ur trying to force creationism down my throat please dont bash the side with actual evidence........lol the bible thats silly

 

[EchetusXe]

errrr... I was and remain in the UK when some 15 year old girl said "but I thought the Queen made all the decisions?"

Didn't help that the teacher admitted that she was technically right. No point getting into technicalities when there is a complete lack of the basic knowledge.

 

[UnearthedArcana]

When I was in high school, a teacher once tried to tell my class, with a straight face, that a lexicon was some sort of grand expedition. If she wants to know what it really means, she should look in the...err...lexicon.

 

[Zetsubou]

The theory of evolution. Honestly how bogus can you get? Furthermore, they ACTUALLY told me that life on Earth has been around for 3 billion years. Ha! Everyone knows God made the Earth in 6 days, and it is only 5000 years old. And even if the Earth was that old, wouldn't there be way more fossils? And what about the compound eye? Surely such a complex structure can't be the product of "evolution", and is sure proof of Intellectual Design. The Bible holds ALL answers, even scientific ones, God says the Earth was flooded in Genesis, so that is why there are fossils and different geological layers. Nice try sinners, I won't fall for your traps!

Hell Yeah Brotha! Evolutions just some filthy lies passed around by them homasexuals, tryin to discredit God for all his good work. It's the same as when they said that more gun control would lead to less crime. If I don't have my gun, how am I gonna shoot the people who are committin crimes? It's an outrage!

 

[Steve Dark]

"So what's your favourite story in the Bible then?"
"Oh, Pandora's Box."

He was serious, in 6th form, in an A-level philosophy class, and claimed to be a Christian because his favourite celebrity also claimed such.
He simultaneously confirms that Humanity will cave in on itself, while also proving that this process will be hilarious.

 

[Chrissyluky]

i remember in social studies one of the boys called another boy a douchebag a girl then proceded to ask. whats a douchebag?*facepalm*

 

[FinalGamer]

"Can you spell cappuccino?"

This was asked to me by a teacher barely into elementary school, to which I replied:
"Don't be ridiculous, I'm only four."

I was a spelling prodigy back then but I had my limits.

 

[stone0042]

Hmmm
"No! Canada is part of Asia!"

"I thought Buffalo Wings really came from Buffalo"

"Wait wait wait... I could have swore cows and horses laid eggs"

Edit! A buddy of mine answered Chuck Norris to every answer on a test.

Just wanted to clarify to all that we Buffalonians did in fact invent the Buffalo wing. Don't take that away from us, it's basically all we have.

 

[AWC Viper]

in my biology class a girl asked if the platypus was real.

Well, those things are pretty fucking unbelievable.

i think this should sum it up

Spoiler

 

[AWC Viper]

Edit! A buddy of mine answered Chuck Norris to every answer on a test.

i did that on my QCS practice test. i got suspended.

 

[Bob Saget]

Alright, so in our city, they don't do sex ed past 6th grade. After that, it's just the yearly AIDS, HIV and pro-abstinence talk (which doesn't do a thing, mind you). Well, come question time, this kid asks: "So, if one person who has AIDS has sex with another person who has AIDS, does that combine to form some sort of super AIDS?"

 

[Starke]

in my biology class a girl asked if the platypus was real.

Well, those things are pretty fucking unbelievable.

Amazing creatures they are, absolutely amazing.

The Platypus is proof that God drops acid.

The theory of evolution. Honestly how bogus can you get? Furthermore, they ACTUALLY told me that life on Earth has been around for 3 billion years. Ha! Everyone knows God made the Earth in 6 days, and it is only 5000 years old. And even if the Earth was that old, wouldn't there be way more fossils? And what about the compound eye? Surely such a complex structure can't be the product of "evolution", and is sure proof of Intellectual Design. The Bible holds ALL answers, even scientific ones, God says the Earth was flooded in Genesis, so that is why there are fossils and different geological layers. Nice try sinners, I won't fall for your traps!

Fuck, don't even joke about that. I've met people who truly think like this.
*shudders*

I grew up in the Bible Belt, the really scary part is if he's actually one of those who do believe this. I feel for you man.

Anyway, my mother teaches college intro-chemistry (CH105 I think). About ten years ago, she had a freshman student tell her "you can't make me learn." The sheer brilliance astounded me. And this is someone who was actually paying to be there.

There's a reason I'm never moving back to the Louisville Metro Area ever again, in both those points.

 

[SantonioH10]

Alright, so in our city, they don't do sex past 6th grade.

Your city must have a piss-poor re-population rate. How do sixth graders even get pregnant?

 

[Xpwn3ntial]

"How long does it take for the Earth to revolve around the sun?"
"Is Washington state named after the President, or is that just a coincidence?"
So many more...

 

[Starke]

in my biology class a girl asked if the platypus was real.

Well, those things are pretty fucking unbelievable.

Amazing creatures they are, absolutely amazing.

The Platypus is proof that God drops acid.

The Platypus is simply a beautiful byproduct of random mutation and natural selection.

By the way, did I have you fooled? I want to roleplay a creationist when labs open up this week.

I didn't actually see where you were trying... so, I guess not...

-

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Oh, in the other post.

Yeah, I don't know, it did set off my bullshit detectors, but that has more to do with this venue than your content. Honestly it bugs me that so nobody considers compromise on the subject. We have evolutionary data on how things evolved, but it's depressingly rare to find a christian who will say "evolution is God's tool" or something similar. It's always "evolution is a lie by sinners" (or something similar) or people stay oddly quiet on the subject.

 

[Starke]

The theory of evolution. Honestly how bogus can you get? Furthermore, they ACTUALLY told me that life on Earth has been around for 3 billion years. Ha! Everyone knows God made the Earth in 6 days, and it is only 5000 years old. And even if the Earth was that old, wouldn't there be way more fossils? And what about the compound eye? Surely such a complex structure can't be the product of "evolution", and is sure proof of Intellectual Design. The Bible holds ALL answers, even scientific ones, God says the Earth was flooded in Genesis, so that is why there are fossils and different geological layers. Nice try sinners, I won't fall for your traps!

haha belife in a higher power tickles me so.. dont get me wrong i dont care about religion but when ur trying to force creationism down my throat please dont bash the side with actual evidence........lol the bible thats silly

He's quoting an idiot I think.

Glefistus, is that a quote?

 

[Starke]

in my biology class a girl asked if the platypus was real.

Well, those things are pretty fucking unbelievable.

Amazing creatures they are, absolutely amazing.

The Platypus is proof that God drops acid.

The Platypus is simply a beautiful byproduct of random mutation and natural selection.

By the way, did I have you fooled? I want to roleplay a creationist when labs open up this week.

I didn't actually see where you were trying... so, I guess not...

-

-

Oh, in the other post.

Yeah, I don't know, it did set off my bullshit detectors, but that has more to do with this venue than your content. Honestly it bugs me that so nobody considers compromise on the subject. We have evolutionary data on how things evolved, but it's depressingly rare to find a christian who will say "evolution is God's tool" or something similar. It's always "evolution is a lie by sinners" (or something similar) or people stay oddly quiet on the subject.

That's because when they get to the point where they can say "it must be God's tool", in my experience, they start to question the entire religion and destroy their beliefs with rationalization, giving into free thought.

Also, I think it is absolutely pathetic that the United States of America honestly teaches creationism(religion) alongside evolution(scientific theory, which I would say is well established and researched enough at this point that we can safely call it fact) in public schools, even though the nation was founded on the principle of "separation of church and state"(it is implied in the first amendment, practiced(or so we are told) by the American government, and the founding fathers all firmly believed in it). Thank GOD nothing that hair brained happens in Canadian public schools(fellow Canadians, please tell me other provinces don't do that outside of Alberta).

It's not implied, its explicitly there. Teaching creation in public school is a violation of the establishment clause. Intelligent Design Theory sprung up as a word replace for Creationism once the "devout"(?) lost their case to be able to teach creationism. It is flatly illegal in this country, not that it's 100% effective. Technically it is legal to present it as a philosophy, but, then you'd have to give equal time to Islam, Judaism, and possibly Buddhism and or Hinduism. But, that's the last thing the people pushing for this tend to want. They seem to want their beliefs taught to their children, which is, you know, fine, but, if they want to teach creationism, they have all of the time with their children outside of school to do that. That's not what proponents of teaching creationism in school really seem to want. It appears to me what they're after is to protect their children from any thought which contradicts their own worldview.

EDIT: I really am trying to find a word to describe proponents of these acts as something non-pejorative, and not oversimplified, I've just got nothing, sorry.

Glefistus, is that a quote?

Nothing but utter nonsense and the fabrication of my mind.

It looked vaguely familiar.