Dumbest Things Heard In School

[Starke]

Didn't you see "Bible Camp"? They DO want to indoctrinate their children! Religion does wonders for a person. *sigh* I suppose I should add for fear of a warning or probation that not all Christians want to indoctrinate their child, we were simply talking about the "crazies", who advocate teaching their religious beliefs in a public institution. Sorry about the whole "implying vs. stating" thing, I don't know the U.S. constitution and bill of rights absolutely perfectly, though I find I do know it better than actual Americans.

It probably looked familiar because I used common creationist arguments.

*Shudders*
No, I didn't, but I'm aware of the faction.

On the subject of the Constitution, don't worry about it too much. I've had college level classes on the subject (though I didn't have the opportunity to take Constitutional Law ). The state of the American Educational system in general scares the hell out of me.

In American National Politics we had Handmaid's Tail as required reading. One of the freshmen bubbled intelligently during the class discussion that he didn't see anything wrong with the government it presents.

 

[Danz D Man]

10th grade english.
the quote: "She could feel them, pelting her with their dirty thoughts like rocks"
My teacher claimed this to be personification. It is not. It is a simile. This particular example is memorable because it was the final straw of a school year full of piss-poor english teaching. I got into a shouting match with her. I won.

Well, depending on what the "them" is, then that statement is both a simile and personification...

 

[userwhoquitthesite]

10th grade english.
the quote: "She could feel them, pelting her with their dirty thoughts like rocks"
My teacher claimed this to be personification. It is not. It is a simile. This particular example is memorable because it was the final straw of a school year full of piss-poor english teaching. I got into a shouting match with her. I won.

Well, depending on what the "them" is, then that statement is both a simile and personification...

them refers to people in courtroom; thats not the part she said was peronification


"pelting her with their dirty thoughts like rocks" is what she said was peronification. ecause she was an idiot

 

[Bob Saget]

Alright, so in our city, they don't do sex past 6th grade.

Your city must have a piss-poor re-population rate. How do sixth graders even get pregnant?

Whoops, I means sex ed. :| Oh well, I fixed it. Makes more sense now.

 

[The_Chief]

Hello again all.

Mr.C- Ok children, that guy (we were watching a movie) just got stabbed. lets watch that again..in slow motion.

[the indian that fights this other indian gets one arm snapped in 6 places, his shoulder and collar bone fragmented basically, and a dagger shoved through his abdomin.]

Moonie-MR.C! why doesn't he just shoot him.

Mr.C flipped her off.

 

[andrat]

Hmmm
"No! Canada is part of Asia!"

"I thought Buffalo Wings really came from Buffalo"

"Wait wait wait... I could have swore cows and horses laid eggs"

Edit! A buddy of mine answered Chuck Norris to every answer on a test.

Just wanted to clarify to all that we Buffalonians did in fact invent the Buffalo wing. Don't take that away from us, it's basically all we have.

Sorry, I didn't get that across correctly. She meant real buffalos.

 

[Fbuh]

The best one was in high school. We were talking about a poorer part of town (not necessarily a violent one) and one girl said that she was afraid to go there becasue she didn't want to get raped. It was quite funny.

 

[Cakes]

Also, I think it is absolutely pathetic that the United States of America honestly teaches creationism(religion) alongside evolution(scientific theory, which I would say is well established and researched enough at this point that we can safely call it fact) in public schools, even though the nation was founded on the principle of "separation of church and state"(it is implied in the first amendment, practiced(or so we are told) by the American government, and the founding fathers all firmly believed in it). Thank GOD nothing that hair brained happens in Canadian public schools(fellow Canadians, please tell me other provinces don't do that outside of Alberta).

Blegh, I know. The problem is that it deceives kids into believing that there actually is some sort of real Evolution vs. Creationism debate, which simply doesn't exist. Scientists took one look at it, laughed their asses off, then went back to dating fossils.

On Topic, here's one:
Some Guy: Yeah, I'm going to be in Ottawa the next week or so.
His Girlfriend: You should check out the White House!
Some Guy: ...are you fucking serious?

He then spread the story amongst our school chums. Ahh, high school.

 

[ryderawsome]

had a few good ones

teacher: can anyone tell me what logic is
student: thats the thing that makes stuff fall from trees right?

"can horses speak english like dogs can"

and my favorite. the teacher asked what litteracy meant. i was the only one out of 8 students who knew. we are in our last year of A levels

 

[Scaredpanther0101]

In my school In ENGLAND one girl said "Where's London Sir?" nuff said

 

[sirdanrhodes]

What do you mean Africa's not a country?

Oh hello Mrs Palin.

My personal favourite, "School is not for smiling or learning, now shut up and work!" - Mr Tool

 

[stone0042]

Sorry, I didn't get that across correctly. She meant real buffalos.

Well then carry on bashing her, that's pitiful.

 

[soren7550]

Monday I think it was, I had to grade someone's test in Government. Here's some of the 'better' answers:
Name a war that was fought in the 1800's
World War I

Who was the president during World War I?
Thomas Jefferson

Who's the senator in your state?
Hillary Clinton (ok, this one isn't nearly as stupid as the others, seeing as she was [apparently, I never saw her do anything here] senator of New York for a few years. But there was a lot of news coverage when she abandoned her post to become Secretary of State. Power hungry worthless *****.)

 

[Ashtovo]

Hmm...I need to think about that..



Geography:

"Where's Russia?"

visable from Sarah Palins house

 

[Asymptote Angel]

Actually, this just happened today. My professor had assigned us to read the Apology of Socrates. When he asked us what we thought, a girl in front of me said, "Wait, this is based on a true story?"

I died a little inside.

 

[Berethond]

i remember in social studies one of the boys called another boy a douchebag a girl then proceded to ask. whats a douchebag?*facepalm*

Did he tell her what it meant?

 

[TheGreatCoolEnergy]

K I have one, happenned today.

So I live in Canada, and today in my grade 10 civics class, the topic of WMD's came up. One girl asked "What's a weapon of mass destruction?" and the teacher said "Something that can kill alot of people at once.". The girl then said "Like a lasor?" Everybody laughed and the teacher said "No like a nuclear bomb". She said "What's a nuclear bomb?"

Like seriously two in a row?

 

[TheGreatCoolEnergy]

'People play video games because they wish to be some gladiator or robot and have a meaning in life because they are really sad, small and depressed in real life'. Girl said in my english class.

I would have called her a *****, straight to her face.

 

[Left4Meds]

Teacher: "Semen has some glucose in it."
Student: "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?"
Teacher: "Probably because you've only gotten it in the back of your mouth."

I just pissed my pants.

 

[TheGreatCoolEnergy]

in my biology class a girl asked if the platypus was real.

Well, those things are pretty fucking unbelievable.

Amazing creatures they are, absolutely amazing.

The Platypus is proof that God drops acid.

The Platypus is simply a beautiful byproduct of random mutation and natural selection.

By the way, did I have you fooled? I want to roleplay a creationist when labs open up this week.

I didn't actually see where you were trying... so, I guess not...

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Oh, in the other post.

Yeah, I don't know, it did set off my bullshit detectors, but that has more to do with this venue than your content. Honestly it bugs me that so nobody considers compromise on the subject. We have evolutionary data on how things evolved, but it's depressingly rare to find a christian who will say "evolution is God's tool" or something similar. It's always "evolution is a lie by sinners" (or something similar) or people stay oddly quiet on the subject.

Hmm I consider myself a true Christian and I strongly believe in god, but the whole "evolution is gods weapon of choice" makes the most sense. It has the facts of science behind it, and it explains how it all started. If that makes me a sinner, then I'm gonna be sitting in hell.