Dumbest Way You Have Hurt Yourself

[Sea Lumberjack]

I was riding on the back of a tractor in school and i had to get off. They wouldn't stop right there so i decided "hey, i can totally jump off this and stay upright. Guess what? I can't.

 

[Flight]

I was in first or second grade, and I thought the (clear glass) sliding door to the backyard was open, so I was going to run outside and play... and of course I banged right into the door and stayed there for a bit like a cartoon character. It was pretty hilarious.

 

[NotAPie]

I use to watch WWF as a kid.
I pretended to be Jeff Hardy and my BIG bear was...well my opponent.
Any of you that know who Jeff Hardy is knows what I probably did, any of you who don't I'll explain it.
I jumped from the top of my bed frame hit my head on the ceiling and landed on my ass on the tile floor.
MY BEAR BEAT ME and my mom will never shut up about that.

 

[Darth_Dude]

I stuck my hand in a huge bond fire because I was manipulated into doing so (I was 4 or 5 years old) and boy did that burn, that fire was massive and built with huge logs and there was a gap in the very center; stuck my hand right in there. My hand fully healed though, looks no different than my other one.

How the hell were you manipulated into sticking your hand into a bonfire?

My mates wrapped me up in masking tape from feet to my neck so I could only hop and I had no hands to stop myself from faceplanting. So I hopped across a field and did just that smacking my head on a tree and knocking myself out.........on camera.

Boy, would I pay to see that...

I was in the car, waiting for my mum to get back, so I started fidgeting with the car cigarrette lighter. Suffice it to say that merely putting it on for a second is enough to make you hurt. A LOT.

And yes, I was curious.

I did that once, and yeah it hurts alot. To make it worse my mum didn't get back for another half an hour, and there was no ice or water in the car...

 

[sabbat]

Broke my foot WALKING ACROSS THE STREET! Of all the retarded ways you could brake your foot, I manage it by WALKING ACROSS THE GODDAMN STREET! You would not believe how embarrasing that one was to explain.

 

[sabbat]

I cut a big chunk of my thumb from a Washing machine door. You know those little hook things that the lock the door. Yea, I cut myself on that and it was pretty deep.

Also getting electrocuted while trying to change my light bulb...after coming out of the shower.

If you're not careful, you might end up with a darwin award. I'm also a contender.

Hurt my finger closing my laptop while my fingers were still on the edges

We've all been there... and we all feel like knobheads for doing it.

 

[Akalistos]

I am seriously not going to go into this...it's actually a long and uninteresting story, but ill Tarantino it for ya and tell you the end.

a totaled 69 impala (not unbelievably cherry, but precious nun the less).
42 stitches.
$650 in property damage.

the moral is...and this WILL be my epitaph

THERE IS NO GOOD WAY TO EAT CHILI AND DRIVE.


time to go douche the donkey
-Blackse7en

I heard from a friend that when you a barrel roll in a car, it like any ride in a amusement park, except the landing hurt. His exact word and that no lies. He also tell me how his friend lost his nose. He also had that accident two week after getting a ladder he use at his job to get on barn. The ladder was fully extended but a big gust of wind push him backward. He keep the ladder from falling but was struck when the top part retracted like a guillotine. He said he didn't feel it and was complete out cold. He said: "It was like when you watch a old tv and close it, The image kinda get smaller till it close. It was the same thing with my vision." He woke up still on his feet.

 

[The Youth Counselor]

Disregard my previous comment I suck cocks. I can't believe I forgot about this other, way more interesting incident.

Two years go three friends and I decided to watch Batman and Robin and play a drinking game with it.

DO NOT DO THIS! YOU WILL DIE!

Although we changed the rules taken from the drinking game website to lessen the drinking,(ie. drink after five of Arnold's ice puns in a row instead of for every one, and assigning everyone a certain category instead of all of us drinking everything.) we still all got so sick all but one of us vomited.

I was the first to lose my supper. I'm a 112 lb Asian guy so I was shitfaced maybe not even ten minutes into the movie due to all those Bat-nipple and Bat-crotch shots. My best friend's large Samoan build made her the only one not to have thrown up, but she still got sick. (It was the first time I've seen her drunk.) We didn't even make it halfway through that movie. We had to turn it off before we got hurt. We were sure to make the Darwin Awards should we have continued.

Tonight on the Evening News: 4 teenagers dead from watching Batman & Robin.

 

[The Youth Counselor]

Any gun owner will nod and say: "Yep! That's how you learn!"

First and only time I shot a crossbow with a scope. I never expected that much recoil and you can guess the rest. I woke up 5 minutes later with the most spectacular black eye.

Aw reminds me of a time I visited a Society for Creative Anachronisms [http://www.sca.org/] tent that was set up for an annual fair UC Davis held called Picnic Day. There was a crossbow on display. Without permission I picked it up and started playing with it.

I'm not sure how many foot pounds the draw was, but it was a large windlass crossbow (the ones that have a crank.) I dry discharged the bow, without realizing my right thumb was in front of the bowstring. My thumbnail was black for the next month or so.

Did I learn a valuable lesson, to stay away from dangerous weapons? No. Now I own two crossbows.