EA: Dungeon Keeper Failed by "Innovating Too Much"

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Montezuma's Lawyer

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Nov 5, 2011
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This executive should be nominated for the "Biggest Balls in the Universe" Award, because making a statement like that with a straight face requires statistically impossible levels of not giving a fuck.


The award should be handed to him, and be immidiately followed by a swift punch in the dick.
 

AdagioBoognish

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Nov 5, 2013
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You guys just don't get it. Man, it's like, you know, zen. I mean, what's the point of playing games anyway? It's all about getting to the end. You hamsters keep running on the wheel, thinking that's, like, the point, but you really want to beat the game. To be done with it. You buy the game so you can beat the game and, like, EA's just cutting out the crap, man. Think about it guys, the future of gaming is there is no game, man. Poor EA's just ahead of the times.

Like, woah..

On a serious note though: This really feels like a statement to calm shareholders and not one they expected to win back consumer confidence in the gaming community.
 

bartholen_v1legacy

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
Jan 24, 2009
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okay, this is just plain trolling. EA has realized it can't get attention by good, so they'll say the worst stupid shit they can come up with to stay in the limelight. Just look at all the delicious comments this thread is already gathering. Gah, I'm ashamed to even be writing this. What we all should do is to just refuse to pay attention to EA anymore and not buy their games. Maybe that way they'd learn, because this constant cycle of shit-spewing from both sides doesn't seem to work.
 

Ima Lemming

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Jan 16, 2009
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I don't have any laughing .gifs. Will this do?



I think we might have innovated too much or tried some different things that people just weren't ready for.
Yeeeeah, I think to be "ready" for something like Dungeon Keeper Mobile, you'd need to be kicked in the head by a donkey.
 

lionsprey

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Sep 20, 2010
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Okey EA here's a suggestion, you hire me and two monkeys for your PR department.
my job is looking after the monkeys whilst they make better decisions then your current head of PR
 

TheIceQueen

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Sep 15, 2013
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BrotherRool said:
Why are they still talking? Anyone with half a brain should have decided to just shut up about Dungeon Keeper weeks ago. If they ask you about it in an interview then just give them the most boring wishy-washy answer possible. Worst comes to worst, be actively nonsensical. 'Due to flaws in the game design, this product didn't do well'

Lets see someone try to make a decent headline out of that. Don't go spouting out the most ridiculous click-baiting headline sound-bytes possible. It's like it's EA in the pocket of the gaming media this time round.

Geeze, can you be competent at your cynical cash-grabbing please?
I actually really like that idea as a conspiracy.

EA: *to game journalist sites* Pay us and we'll keep saying stupid crap.

I prefer to think of them as evil masterminds rather than as incompetent.
 

Littaly

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Jun 26, 2008
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Wait, they stuck Mythic on that piece of crap? Is that like some twisted form of punishment?

- EA, Sir, I'm sorry Warhammer Online didn't turn out to be a hit, listen I'm as disappointed about the shut down as any...
- Silent fool! You have failed me for the last time.
- I.. I will take full responsibility for what has happened, I will close down tomorrow and...
- Oh no my dear Mythic. What's this talk about closing down, did you really think I'd let you just die away gracefully after a failure like that. No Mythic, you are not going to die just yet, first I will have you disgrace yourself. I will have you will ruin a beloved franchise with a throwaway mobile game and have you preform actions so morally questionable you won't be able to live with yourself. I will drag you through the dirt, taint your name, ruin your reputation, and then, only then, when you're broken, hated and forgotten will I let you close down...
 

Demonchaser27

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Mar 20, 2014
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FalloutJack said:
WAIT!

Wait wait wait wait wait...

I got it.

They don't mean they were 'innovating' too much. They meant they were enervating too much!


But seriously folks, you've been a beautiful audience. Remember to tip your waiters with the money you're not giving EA.
And that money paid to the waiters/waitresses must be paid at 20% interest to EA as well.
 

Demonchaser27

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Mar 20, 2014
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Strazdas said:
Well hes right about one thing. we werent ready for it. after all, it has made profit. if we were ready, not a single copy would have been downloaded.
Well to be fair, when you make a game as shallow as that it isn't hard to make profit. A lot of mobile games are very easily and cheaply made and make at least some profit. This is why every studio and indie around, just about, has started doing it. Now add ridiculous, draconian, restrictive paywalls and you have yourself and instant money maker. I mean come on, they could find 10 - 15 people that would fork over some cash. It isn't thaaat hard. But I worry that because "profit" is the sole motivation for companies, and they aren't required to have any real standards, these days, that we'll end up with this being the norm. Not because most gamers want it, but because they'll manipulate reviews, media, and other market forces to make it happen.

Similar to how tape cassettes were replaced by CD. It wasn't because CD was inherently better for the customer. I mean sure it had more space fit to it, but you could record and cheaply buy tape cassettes. They first raised the price of cassettes for no reason, then sales didn't drop. So next they stopped carrying as many tape recorders in stores. Then sales finally dropped, not because people didn't want them but because people were forced to not have access to them. Then CD sales went up because that was the only way to get music for the longest time. Then they said CDs "defeated" tape cassettes. That wasn't the market at work, it was big corporations at work.

If you look in the history of gaming some similar things have happened. Just slightly different. They said we want DLC to be a thing. People didn't buy into it at first (this was around the Dreamcast). Then xbox original did it and barely anyone got on board. Then when 7th generation started a big wave of it was shoved in peoples faces, being told that they were "expanding games lives" and saying that it was "the future of gaming". And then people bought a little more. But then they wanted it all, so they made it a "standard" that every game have 3 - 5 DLCs and features began to be cut from games. But they still tell you your getting more "value" than ever before, although games didn't use to be cut in almost half for DLC. And then Microtransactions got into the mix. And now we have EA saying things like "pay $5 to reload your gun" and "cloud gaming is the future". Cloud gaming being very interesting in that, Sony just came into this saying they wanted something like $5.99 per hour of gameplay for streaming a game to you, I think. And it's $39.99 per 6 months or year, per game.

Yeah it's gonna get ridiculous long before it becomes stable again. Unfortunately these are elitist, capitalist, conquerors of market. They aren't interested in being the best in their field. They're only interested and addicted to the expansion of their power. Likely only their complete and total failure, via a crash or other such event, will stop them from "easing people into worse and worse". Their predators of the market.
 

TheMadDoctorsCat

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Y'know I think EA might have given up any ambitions to *not* be voted the worst company in America (which is ridiculous by the way, there are banks who've been blatantly taking people's houses instead of letting them pay back their loans; but hey... it's the Internet... priorities are different.)

Anyway, I think they're pretty much trolling us now. I mean, seriously. This guy can't really mean what he says?

I'd like to also point out that this week's Jimquisition has been proven correct, yet again, less than five days after it was posted. Maybe Jim really CAN see the future. (Because nobody ever expected someone at EA to put their foot in it.)
 

Micah Weil

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Mar 16, 2009
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Dear EA,

"A fool and his money are soon parted" is not innovative, nor is it a business strategy.

Yours,
All of Us
 

Olas

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Dec 24, 2011
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Gibeau then plopped a live kitten in his mouth, swallowed it whole, and belched out a cloud of killer hornets.
 

Therumancer

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Nov 28, 2007
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Well, "innovation" can refer to anything moving forward. In this case I think what they "innovated" was an unprecedented level of cash grabbing, and people weren't just whipped into accepting passivity enough to accept and and fork over their hard earned money for increasingly trivial game advantages. I'd imagine EA is being kind of honest in their statement, you just need to view it the right way, which still makes it pretty absurd and insulting.

That said, the gaming industry seems to be intent on making it so every game is pretty much "pay for everything" so you either need to accept it, or stop gaming. The big question is whether we are addicted enough to support this, without a massive number of people turning on the industry and causing it to crash.

The part that most gets me about this whole thing is how the industry claims people obviously "like DLC" as opposed to endure it despite massive hatred. Ubisoft seems particularly vocal about this, but EA has had it's turn. Largely because gamers, which sadly includes me, have pretty much became trained to realize that if we buy a game we had better check for DLC to make sure we get the whole thing, and when it comes to day #1 DLC, we'll usually buy it as part of the purchase, meaning that the industry has basically found a back door way of raising prices without actually increasing the initial price tag. People don't do this because they like it, its simply because people who want to game have few other options if they want a complete product (and no, most DLC does not count as legitimate "extras" almost all of it is stuff that should be in a game by default) and/or not to be harassed while playing the game, since developers will go out of their way to show what's missing if you haven't bought the DLC (even to the point of famously having an NPC tell you to spend real money to do their quest in Dragon Age: Origins).

The thing with Dungeon Keeper is that it used a big name, and was released by a huge company, while fundamentally doing the same thing as a lot of other companies. For example, recently I decided to try a game called "Astro Lords: The Ooort Cloud" which I heard about through Alienware, it looked decent. It fundamentally turned out to be a prettier version of one of those "build queues" games released by a company like Kabam!, and also one that seemed to make no real bones about harassing you for premium currency right off the bat by showing how you could use it to lower timers (making it clear how obnoxious they will get), and of course telling you that you need 1000 units of currency to upgrade your General's space ship to a "premium version" to really increase their power. I expect this kind of thing from FTP internet games, but not from products carrying those kinds of brand names. It should also be noted that I have nothing against paying money to games I actually play (including a decent empire sim I check in on a few times a day), but there is such a thing as overmarketing and getting too greedy, and it's obnoxious to see this moving into the regular gaming sector as much as it has been.

At the same time though, with the number of casuals willing to spend small fortunes on games like "Candy Crush" I don't expect things to change. That pretty much seemed to be what EA was going for with "Dungeon Keeper Mobile". The big question is whether the casuals will learn and the gaming industry will crash, or if some of the people running these companies will figure "okay, we have enough money" and back off a bit. Games DO need to make money to support themselves and of course turn a profit for their developers, and I'm quite blunt about how you should pay a game, even a "free one" if you keep playing and are having fun. I've sunk a good chunk of money into Cryptic's games for example, and frequently tell people who put hundreds of hours into them and whine that they should probably pay to support something they play that much. However getting people to pay to remove blocks, or slow down timers/pay walls and such is ridiculous. The absolute worst game for this I've tolerated and supported is probably "City Of Steam" love the game (as it's fairly unique) and I have given them some money, but I find it offputting that it is a game that literally has a micro transaction possibility attached to everything in the game.... albeit very few of the things are needed, so it's not as bad as EA or "timer" games but it's annoying when every menu basically has the equivalent of some dude standing
there with a cash register.
 

CaitSeith

Formely Gone Gonzo
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Jun 30, 2014
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IanDavis said:
"I think we might have innovated too much or tried some different things that people just weren't ready for..."
He is totally right...
...people still needs to be a lot more stupid in order to be ready for it.
 

Magmarock

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Sep 1, 2011
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To me this is not a laughing manner. I think whenever one of EA's CEO's or PR guys says something like this, then made to either apologize or resign. EA somehow thinks this will make everything better.

Not saying that these people aren't in the wrong for saying it but I refuse to blame just one or two people for the attitude of a major company like EA. The truth is that the joke is on us. I've said it before and I'll say it again. "We as consumers need to stop giving EA money."