Easter Bunny: Origins

[Ace Jackson]

Let's just pretend for a moment that the Easter Bunny isn't a fabrication of corporations trying to steal your money and all's your left with is a refrigerator box and a melted chocolate egg in your pocket. If the Easter Bunny was real, where do you think he came from and how do you think he came to be?

My hypothesis is that thousands of years ago, as the Easter Bunny is a very ancient and magical being, the Easter Bunny was in a horrible accident where he got his ass blown off, and some mentally disabled renegade aliens replaced his butt, but gave him a magical cybertronic choco-chicken lady-part instead of a proper bunny rectum, and that's how he lays chocolate eggs. Later on, when someone asked him where he was going when he asked for directions, he said, "East, sir", but said it really fast, and so he was further known as the Easter Bunny.

 

[Fairee]

Yeah, whatever.

Proving insanity is still alive and well on The Escapist.

 

[oliveira8]

Wut???

I be confused...

 

[stormcaller]

I prefer the South Park theory.

(I.E Saint Peter Rabbit)

 

[DannyBoy451]

It's probably just a a symbol of life and fertility and so are eggs. Spring sex, that's what we're really celebrating on Easter.

This. As with many things in Western Christianity it's based on Peganism.

 

[cuddly_tomato]

The Easter bunny was originally a hare named Eostre. When Christianity arrived in Northern Europe it ridiculed the whole hare symbolism thing and turned it into Easter. They even took the name Eostre and made it into Easter, bastards!

 

[Ace Jackson]

Yeah, whatever.

Proving insanity is still alive and well on The Escapist.

Actually, I was attempting to make a point of obscure conversation by creating a hypothetic situation, and as Easter was drawing near, I created a certain situation that I thought was pertinent to the time. As I was asking for other people's opinions, I thought it best to share my opinion first, as I was trying to adhere to proper etiquette, and I was also putting a humorous perspective on the topic and explaining it in a detailed and lengthy manner. Although I don't think much of the idea and image of the Easter Bunny, I would still enjoy reading others opinions, but I can see how that could be misconstrued as insanity.

 

[Kogarian]

It's probably just a a symbol of life and fertility and so are eggs. Spring sex, that's what we're really celebrating on Easter.

Definately. The chocolate and candys just so kids don't realize the adults are celebrating the act of fucking...

 

[JokerGrin]

Eh I dislike Easter anyway. Not a fan of chocolate or organised religion. Time off work is nice I guess.

Interesting theory though.

 

[Evilbunny]

Guys, I'm sorry to break this to you but the Easter bunny is something we, the evil bunnies of the world, made up to get rabbits ingrained in human culture. Our plan is when the timing is just right, replace all of the Easter bunnies in the world with our kin and hold shopping malls everywhere hostage. Given the abundance of shopping malls in the world the police and FBI will be preoccupied with the hostage situations all over the globe and hence attacking every nation's capital would be child's play. With the world's leaders dead, we shall take control of this planet. I'm telling you this not because I'm like one of those lame super villains that tells the hero his plan right before he carries it out, but because I want out. The rabbits in charge here are insane. At first the plan was to rule peacefully. Keep humans out of power, but we were not to harm them or starve them in any way. Now they're adding all these amendments to the plan. Recently a clause was added that will allow us to keep humans as pets in giant cages. Hell, one guy suggested we have arena fights between 10-15 humans per week to see who gets fed that week. I'm risking my own life by putting this information out there. I just hope it doesn't fall on deaf ears.

 

[Kogarian]

Yeah, whatever.

Proving insanity is still alive and well on The Escapist.

Actually, I was attempting to make a point of obscure conversation by creating a hypothetic situation, and as Easter was drawing near, I created a certain situation that I thought was pertinent to the time. As I was asking for other people's opinions, I thought it best to share my opinion first, as I was trying to adhere to proper etiquette, and I was also putting a humorous perspective on the topic and explaining it in a detailed and lengthy manner. Although I don't think much of the idea and image of the Easter Bunny, I would still enjoy reading others opinions, but I can see how that could be misconstrued as insanity.

Don't worry, most of us got what you were aiming for. But I really can't formulate an idea that doesn't involve Paganism being Christianized.

 

[Altorin]

The Easter bunny was originally a hare named Eostre. When Christianity arrived in Northern Europe it ridiculed the whole hare symbolism thing and turned it into Easter. They even took the name Eostre and made it into Easter, bastards!

yeah, something like that. Christianity did that with all of their holidays.. there's not a one based on anything that really happened with Jesus.. just holidays that were stolen from other religions in order to get converts.

"Yeah, Here's the deal - we WON'T kill you, AND you can still have your Winter Solstice festival.. but you're going to have to call it Christmas now.. and it's no longer about the world going to sleep early to wake up early for spring, it's about some baby and 3 old guys on camels."

"Yeah, Here's the deal - we WON'T burn down your houses if you remember that during this spring festival, that your lord and savior - What? Jesus. Yeah, he's your lord and savior.. I don't care if you don't know who he is - he's Jesus.. anyway.. he died, then 3 days later rose from the dead.. Stop laughing. Alright.. yeah, you can still have your stupid bunny, but this Jesus thing has to take top billing from now on."

etc.

 

[UpcountryGecko]

I like to believe that the easter bunny was made up by a stoner to explain why he couldn't give his friends any chocolate.

"Dude where did you get that chocolate?"

"Er a bunny gave it to me"

Off topic but if Jesus took drugs, what drugs would he take?

 

[Fairee]

Yeah, whatever.

Proving insanity is still alive and well on The Escapist.

Actually, I was attempting to make a point of obscure conversation by creating a hypothetic situation, and as Easter was drawing near, I created a certain situation that I thought was pertinent to the time. As I was asking for other people's opinions, I thought it best to share my opinion first, as I was trying to adhere to proper etiquette, and I was also putting a humorous perspective on the topic and explaining it in a detailed and lengthy manner. Although I don't think much of the idea and image of the Easter Bunny, I would still enjoy reading others opinions, but I can see how that could be misconstrued as insanity.

*refusing to speak in case she gets verbally assaulted again*

 

[Evilbunny]

I like to believe that the easter bunny was made up by a stoner to explain why he couldn't give his friends any chocolate.

"Dude where did you get that chocolate?"

"Er a bunny gave it to me"

Off topic but if Jesus took drugs, what drugs would he take?

Definitely pot, and maybe mushrooms. I feel like anything natural he'd try.

 

[Simriel]

Yeah, whatever.

Proving insanity is still alive and well on The Escapist.

Actually, I was attempting to make a point of obscure conversation by creating a hypothetic situation, and as Easter was drawing near, I created a certain situation that I thought was pertinent to the time. As I was asking for other people's opinions, I thought it best to share my opinion first, as I was trying to adhere to proper etiquette, and I was also putting a humorous perspective on the topic and explaining it in a detailed and lengthy manner. Although I don't think much of the idea and image of the Easter Bunny, I would still enjoy reading others opinions, but I can see how that could be misconstrued as insanity.

Those truly insane, try to explain that they are not.

 

[Ace Jackson]

Yeah, whatever.

Proving insanity is still alive and well on The Escapist.

Actually, I was attempting to make a point of obscure conversation by creating a hypothetic situation, and as Easter was drawing near, I created a certain situation that I thought was pertinent to the time. As I was asking for other people's opinions, I thought it best to share my opinion first, as I was trying to adhere to proper etiquette, and I was also putting a humorous perspective on the topic and explaining it in a detailed and lengthy manner. Although I don't think much of the idea and image of the Easter Bunny, I would still enjoy reading others opinions, but I can see how that could be misconstrued as insanity.

*refusing to speak in case she gets verbally assaulted again*

I apologize if my reply came off as a verbal assault, it was not intended as such. I was only attempting to explain my line of thinking in a courteous and civil manner without being brutish or snarky, and I apologize profusely if this was misunderstood as a verbal assault.

 

[Evilbunny]

Yeah, whatever.

Proving insanity is still alive and well on The Escapist.

Actually, I was attempting to make a point of obscure conversation by creating a hypothetic situation, and as Easter was drawing near, I created a certain situation that I thought was pertinent to the time. As I was asking for other people's opinions, I thought it best to share my opinion first, as I was trying to adhere to proper etiquette, and I was also putting a humorous perspective on the topic and explaining it in a detailed and lengthy manner. Although I don't think much of the idea and image of the Easter Bunny, I would still enjoy reading others opinions, but I can see how that could be misconstrued as insanity.

*refusing to speak in case she gets verbally assaulted again*

I apologize if my reply came off as a verbal assault, it was not intended as such. I was only attempting to explain my line of thinking in a courteous and civil manner without being brutish or snarky, and I apologize profusely if this was misunderstood as a verbal assault.

Man, I love this forum.

 

[Altorin]

I like to believe that the easter bunny was made up by a stoner to explain why he couldn't give his friends any chocolate.

"Dude where did you get that chocolate?"

"Er a bunny gave it to me"

Off topic but if Jesus took drugs, what drugs would he take?

opiates.

They're not particularly mind opening drugs.

 

[Fairee]

Yeah, whatever.

Proving insanity is still alive and well on The Escapist.

Actually, I was attempting to make a point of obscure conversation by creating a hypothetic situation, and as Easter was drawing near, I created a certain situation that I thought was pertinent to the time. As I was asking for other people's opinions, I thought it best to share my opinion first, as I was trying to adhere to proper etiquette, and I was also putting a humorous perspective on the topic and explaining it in a detailed and lengthy manner. Although I don't think much of the idea and image of the Easter Bunny, I would still enjoy reading others opinions, but I can see how that could be misconstrued as insanity.

*refusing to speak in case she gets verbally assaulted again*

I apologize if my reply came off as a verbal assault, it was not intended as such. I was only attempting to explain my line of thinking in a courteous and civil manner without being brutish or snarky, and I apologize profusely if this was misunderstood as a verbal assault.

No, it's okay. You were just saying what you thought, and you were being polite about it. Maybe verbal assault was the wrong phrase...