Embarrassing sex-related stories
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First time I had my (recently ex) girlfriend round to my house we were pretty much constantly going at it. At the time we had a next-door neighbour who loved to come round and chat with us every hour of the goddamn day. My gf and I joked about it, and then on the third night it happened. Right as she was orgasming, there was a knock on the front door. Fuck you Roy from next door, fuck you.
Different girl, less embarassing and more random story. In university I was part of a student-run organisation that was supposed to provide a sort of anonymous counselling service to other students. There always had to be a male and a female member on duty, but usually only one guy and one girl. In an office that included bunk beds, a very comfortable sofa, and ten horus spent mostly doing nothing while you waited for the phone to ring. Yeah, what else were a bunch of honry 20-somethings going to do?
Different girl, less embarassing and more random story. In university I was part of a student-run organisation that was supposed to provide a sort of anonymous counselling service to other students. There always had to be a male and a female member on duty, but usually only one guy and one girl. In an office that included bunk beds, a very comfortable sofa, and ten horus spent mostly doing nothing while you waited for the phone to ring. Yeah, what else were a bunch of honry 20-somethings going to do?
this sounds very similiar to a summer camper i was a jr. counselor at. 5-10 year old kids attending and 15-18 year old jr. counselors, adult real counselors... Adult real counselors got there own room each. the 20-40 kids who participated in the weekends sleepovers slept in communal rooms grouped by age and gender.MelasZepheos said:
The 6 jr. counselors, 3 male and 3 female, all slept in the same room. i, sadly, did not participate, however i did get to witness and walk-in on.
I'm pretty sure when I tried this my dick was like, "CHALLENGE ACCEPTED."Cpu46 said:
Anyhoo, OT:
Being a horny bugger in High School, I got to second base in the fucking entrance way of the school, because my mind had gone blank and my GF at the time was...uh...rather immodest.
She spent the next morning poking my dick...yes, poking my shaft, until I had a raging hardon, then walked off to class. I was in panic mode, I wouldn't calm down until I had gotten off and I had to get to class, or I would be taken to the office bent over with a raging hardon.
So I ninja my way to the classroom and decide, "Hey its a good idea if I pretend to fall over and crawl to my seat! That way no one will see!" Obviously the blood normally allocated to delivering oxygen to the reasoning part of my brain was not working and I walked into the classroom, pretended to trip and fell on my fucking boner. Oh. My. God. To this day it hurts just thinking about it.
Next day, she was cheating on me with her ex, but whatevs...it was High School *shruggles*
I am fucking DYING.rutger5000 said:
I was in that kind of "Huh? What just happened" stupor for about a week. Then I understood, I had been taken by a slut. Has never happened since.Spot1990 said:
This isn't my story, it's though a friend of a friend. May not be true but I'm pretty sure it is.
Basically this guy and his gf decided to try anal for the first time. They did the deed at one of their parents house on the living room coach. So, once they were done he pulled out and she deficated all over the coach. Shit everywhere apparently. They couldn't clean it up, so when the parents came home they blamed it on the dog. Tragic part is the dog got put down.
Really wasn't sure whether to laugh, cry or just sit there in horror when I heard it. Put me off anal for a long time.
Basically this guy and his gf decided to try anal for the first time. They did the deed at one of their parents house on the living room coach. So, once they were done he pulled out and she deficated all over the coach. Shit everywhere apparently. They couldn't clean it up, so when the parents came home they blamed it on the dog. Tragic part is the dog got put down.
Really wasn't sure whether to laugh, cry or just sit there in horror when I heard it. Put me off anal for a long time.
I can't believe I'm still reading this thread...
Makes me wanna yell "EWWWWW" again. And it was going so well too...
Makes me wanna yell "EWWWWW" again. And it was going so well too...
After reading all 10 pages, and the last page specifically I'm sitting here laughing my ass off.game-lover said:
Sadly I have no stories of mine as I live in the middle of nowhere, hence forever alone even though I don't want to be/wouldn't be if I lived in an urban area/area close to other people.
Only thing kinda sorta embarrassing but not really is that I have a E-fuckbuddy that I cyber with on occasion (They also live in the middle of nowhere)
Bit of an old thread but haven't added one so why not. My first girlfriend loved for me to cum on her face, so we'd often finish that way. But one day after I had done so, we cleaned up and my parents had just arrived home. My mother says it's good to see her again... then gives her a small kiss on her cheek. Once they left the room my gf almost fainted, and I was equally horrified.
Not gonna put any of the embarrassing stuff on here because my girlfriend would murder me (besides, nothing embarrassing has really happened to us anyway), but my mum found out I'd lost my virginity when she went through one of the cupboards in my bedroom to find an empty condom box. All she said was we hoped we didn't do it while they were in the house, and I can actually talk to her about stuff to do with sex now.
Had a girlfriend that was...well a screamer. Never bothered me and being young and naive never realized how well sound traveled through my parents house. Well, after a hot session that started when nobody was home but us, we came downstairs to find my parents, my grandparents, my aunt and HER parents...seems my mom thought it would be nice to invite her parents over and get to know the family since we had been a couple for a few months. We still thought we could play it off until my aunt started clapping and congratulating us on our performance.
Dinner was awkward...
Dinner was awkward...
I was utterly horrified by this sentence; first thinking that you discuss technique, clitoral stimulation, pubic hair maintenance etc with your mother but I guess you mean safe sex, how to connect with girls etc ...V TheSystem V said:
Please tell me I'm right. D:
Erm, the first time I had sex was a complete mess. I was nervous as shit, she was nervous as shit, so that's always fun, but it's fairly normal too. What actually made things interesting was that it took me over an hour to actually get into her because she was so tight (or I was just that big... I like to think it was the second one, but it's probably a combination of the two). I would move in a little bit, and she would squeal (not in a good way) and move away. Then we'd try again and I would get a little further, only to have her squeal and pull away. I finally got most of the way in and she started crying because it hurt so bad.
But wait! It gets better! So, naturally, after an hour of trying to keep it up I eventually just flop over. She doesn't quite realize this, so she's finally ready to go and I'm sitting there trying to get it back up, and she won't even put her hand on me, much less give me a blowjob or something to get it up. So I'm sitting there making excuses so she doesn't feel bad ("I'm just really nervous hun, I don't want to hurt you"), but she ends up feeling bad anyway.
Eventually, after another half hour or so of trying and failing to get it up, we decide to roll over, go to sleep, and wait until morning. Thankfully, I wake up in the middle of the night, ready to go, and we get the deed done then. Surprisingly gracefully I might add, especially compared to the debacle that had occurred before.
Got another good one for you all. Somehow, and I'm still not really sure how (I'm thinking either a drunk night or a chain of storytelling leading back to my girlfriend) my roommates found out that I could helicopter my junk damned well. It has since become a running joke, and whenever my girlfriend is over my roommates will start making helicopter noises randomly... Of course, it has earned me the right to brag a bit, so I suppose it's worth it. It's also ended up being quite the thing to stick into conversations. Roommate's friend was having dinner with us, and she somehow got on the topic of if you were taking a shower and someone pulled back the curtain with a knife, what would you do? Well, my immediate answer was "I would distract them with a well-timed helicopter, then punch them in the face."
Let's see here... What else... There have been a few times playing Halo (or CoD, or whatever else) where my girlfriend will decide to go down on me, and I'll just stop mid-match and we'll go at it. This can get awkward when you're on XBL with a buddy and don't bother turning off the mic, then end up rolling on it during sex... Gotten some interesting comments from those, and the sad thing is that it's happened more than once.
Also, for a year I lived with my girlfriend's brother as a roommate. He had the room next to mine, and we shared the bathroom. There were some interesting conversations there, ranging from "using" the shower to how he would go to bed with headphones on when my girlfriend came over. She can get loud at times... It was always fun, if he was being annoying, just to kindly remind him that I'm banging his sister.
But wait! It gets better! So, naturally, after an hour of trying to keep it up I eventually just flop over. She doesn't quite realize this, so she's finally ready to go and I'm sitting there trying to get it back up, and she won't even put her hand on me, much less give me a blowjob or something to get it up. So I'm sitting there making excuses so she doesn't feel bad ("I'm just really nervous hun, I don't want to hurt you"), but she ends up feeling bad anyway.
Eventually, after another half hour or so of trying and failing to get it up, we decide to roll over, go to sleep, and wait until morning. Thankfully, I wake up in the middle of the night, ready to go, and we get the deed done then. Surprisingly gracefully I might add, especially compared to the debacle that had occurred before.
Got another good one for you all. Somehow, and I'm still not really sure how (I'm thinking either a drunk night or a chain of storytelling leading back to my girlfriend) my roommates found out that I could helicopter my junk damned well. It has since become a running joke, and whenever my girlfriend is over my roommates will start making helicopter noises randomly... Of course, it has earned me the right to brag a bit, so I suppose it's worth it. It's also ended up being quite the thing to stick into conversations. Roommate's friend was having dinner with us, and she somehow got on the topic of if you were taking a shower and someone pulled back the curtain with a knife, what would you do? Well, my immediate answer was "I would distract them with a well-timed helicopter, then punch them in the face."
Let's see here... What else... There have been a few times playing Halo (or CoD, or whatever else) where my girlfriend will decide to go down on me, and I'll just stop mid-match and we'll go at it. This can get awkward when you're on XBL with a buddy and don't bother turning off the mic, then end up rolling on it during sex... Gotten some interesting comments from those, and the sad thing is that it's happened more than once.
Also, for a year I lived with my girlfriend's brother as a roommate. He had the room next to mine, and we shared the bathroom. There were some interesting conversations there, ranging from "using" the shower to how he would go to bed with headphones on when my girlfriend came over. She can get loud at times... It was always fun, if he was being annoying, just to kindly remind him that I'm banging his sister.
Sorry for giving you those scarring images, I meant stuff to do with safe sex and stuff. My mum is very easy to talk to about this stuff. She's even pro-choice, and wouldn't judge someone for having an abortion, having gone on protest marches in the 80s about this stuff. She doesn't like the thought of me doing it while she's in the house though.HouseOfSyn said:
Probably you should work on remembering to turn it off then...Apollo45 said:
I am surprised at all the stories people can just laugh at themselves over. I think I'd still be horrified and whatnot.
Everything else though was LOL. Save for the last. That is just mean to do to the brother. tsk, tsk.
What have you done???rayen020 said:
OT: This girl and I went to her place with the intention of having of having sex and finally lose my virginity. It started out pretty great with kissing and and feeling each other up. We were not exactly keeping a low profile in terms of making noise. We had gotten to third base which felt fantastic. At this moment, her roommate felt it that now was the perfect time to open the door (without knocking) and ask to borrow a movie. She just stood there for what felt like thirty seconds surveying the scene. After she left we just sort of sat there. The mood was ruined. We fell asleep and I left in the morning. I had been cock-blocked, whether intentionally or unintentionally.