Escape to the Movies: A Nightmare on Elm Street

[Skreeee]

Dammit BOB! Don't go dumping Producers/Directors you don't like onto things that I like.

That doesn't even make logical sense.

OT: Glad I was right in thinking this would be worth the miss. The only horror remake to date that I've seen and at least didn't hate completely outright were Rob Zombie's Halloween reboots. Even those had their flaws.

I wonder if Michael Bay is producing these remakes because he honestly thinks he can make them better, or because he wants to suck money out of nostalgic nitwits. Probably the second, if his general douchbaggery has anything to say about it.

 

[Onyx Oblivion]

SOMEONE ELSE SAW ALL THE KING'S MEN?

Of course, this is MovieBob.

 

[ultimasupersaiyan]

I had a HUGE feeling The new Nightmare on Elm Street movie would be a piece of crap topped with shreaded crap. I'm disappointed that the only thing good about the movie is 1 actor, Jackie Earle Haley. I'm with Moviebob, Michael Bay needs to stop wrecking stuff I like too!
Well at least Moviebob saved me another AU$15 I would have wasted seeing a crappy movie. I think on the day I was going to go see this movie I'll just watch Watchmen againg on Blu-Ray.

 

[Nivag the Owl]

I really don't have a problem with remakes... like, at all. Even if I experienced the original when it was new. Most of the frustration in this review seems to be from the remake flaws, I think I'm still going to give it a fighting chance.

 

[wooty]

Was going to avoid this movie like the plague anyway, but thats re-enforced my decision.

But Bay and Halo? I can see the connection there somehow. Plus, it will turn out that Master Chief was Shia LaBeouf all along, I see it clearly now.

 

[Moriarty70]

WHAT! Molesting children? Why!? Like Friday the 13th remake, I'll wait until this comes on television.

Do some digging and you'll find that was the original concept from Craven as it was the worst type of person he could think of. He changed it to killer when, as production was about to start, a child rapist in the LA area made huge news and he didn't want to be seen as exploiting something that vile.

I'm willing to rent this when it comes out just for the sake of Jackie. Like Eglund it seems he's getting stuck with a character that has far more potential than the project itself.

 

[Spiner909]

No! A Micheal Bay Halo movie would be the end of District 9! It must not happen!

 

[300lb. Samoan]

Dammit, this looked really good from the previews too. Thank you for putting Haley in his bubble tho, he is a really cool actor and probably the reason I was most interested in this movie. That said, I might see it anyway because (call me crazy/stupid) I LIKED the remake of Amityville Horror. I've never seen the original, so maybe I don't have memories to taint the experience, but I thought the new remake was genuinely spooky - ok, it was rather generic 00's horror flick spookiness but played up to a rather extreme level (or so it seemed at the time.)

Also, thanks for the info about Platinum Dunes. I will keep in mind what that stamp is actually saying from now til forever.

 

[Fox242]

I actually thought that this movie might be somewhat interesting because Jackie Earl Haley was portraying Freddy. It seems that not even Haley can save another Michael Bay produced piece of garbage.

 

[Soxafloppin]

Funny review, shame tho i was actually looking forward to this movie! Aww well.

 

[Pseudonym2]

1 Repressed memories don't work like that.
2 Anesthetics should prevent characters from dreaming.
3 At least Freddy has a reason to kill the kids and not the parents now.

 

[MaraJade03]

I think Bob needs a bubble to protect himself form Micheal Bay. Another bad horror movie remake, sadness. Why not just make a whole new psycho killer in a mask movie instead of using old franchise? Less creative thinking?
A Halo movie by Micheal Bay might just be so bad it's Good.

 

[Rheyvin]

I suppose it is a sad day when horror films aren't scary. Though, I don't like horror films so that doesn't affect me. As for a Halo movie, no. I like Halo, but I feel a movie of it just isn't necessary. Especially with Bungie already milking the series more than they need too.

 

[CaptainCrunch]

Is there some clause in the Escapist contracts that require you critics to take potshots at Halo?

Innovations in multiplayer gameplay and standardizing the controller setup aside, what exactly has Halo done with storytelling that can't be found in a canned-plot movie?

MovieBob saying "I don't like Halo, and I don't like Michael Bay. They would probably make a great team," is not the same as "I hate Halo and all the people that love it. I hereby curse them with all the evil powers of Michael Bay!" Keep this in mind when this happens for other games / movies / media you might like. You'll live a lot longer if this kind of thing doesn't stress you out.

 

[Meggiepants]

Doesn't surprise me one bit this remake is garbage. I knew as soon as I saw the trailer it would be awful.

And if they didn't add any new gore, why did they even bother re-making it?

 

[Elesar]

Nicholas Cage, next movie, next movie...
Sorcerer's Apprentice?

And let's be honest with ourselves, Friday and Nightmare were never THAT good movies to begin with, Friday in particular. Original Amityville was a pretty good movie and I've never seen either the original or remake of the Hitcher, so no comment there. Still, I feel pretty secure in saying that NONE of them, least of all Friday, were ever anywhere near the quality level of the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre. So that remake is pretty much Platinum Dune's biggest crime.
Not sure if it was Michael Bay's though...Transformers 2 was rather exceptionally shitty.

 

[Kingemoney]

I agree totally with you MovieBob. I saw it last night. (I wouldn't have gone, because I was under the impression it was going to be terrible, but someone else paid for me.)

It was the funniest movie I've seen ALL year. Groan-inducing lines, ("I'm afraid! Please stay with me!') Painfully obvious plot movement, and when there were those bits were the characters were supposed to feel safe for a moment, I seriously COUNTED DOWN OUT LOUD how long it would be before Freddy got them.

Everyone in the theater GIGGLED the whole time. Great work people, seriously. Everyone should see this, as an example of how NOT to make a movie.

 

[Hotshots]

great review Bob, but seriously another Halo Jibe?

Se non ti piace Halo, abbastanza giusto ma vaffanculo e mi piacerà!