Escape to the Movies: After Earth

[1337mokro]

I guess we learned that movie Bob releases his Brooklyn rage whenever he talks about Star Trek Into Darkness. However nobody ever even held the faintest shred of hope for this movie. It was Will Smith attempting to push his kid into the world of acting with a director hopelessly stuck in his own delusions.

Now enjoy this clip.

 

[Lincoln Thurber]

The problem for Jaden is is has not earned his bones as a child actor. He didn't start out with dozens of small roles or go to a casting call to win a role himself without his name-brand parents. Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith appear to be the WORST sort of helicopter parents because they refuse to let him just go it alone and earn his time on screen. A good actor will take the lumps by taking small roles to get to the bigger game. Jaden's parents have bought his way in, so not one person on a movie set should respect that kid one bit

I will tell you this right now, Jaden Smith at age 21 will be a nightmare if he goes on like this. The young man has a little talent probably, but he need to get out of the action roles to find his center. He should do three years of Shakespeare in the park, get some small roles in some Sundance aspiring films, and just hone his craft. And, if it never happens it never happens....but that won't happen Will And Jada will keep buying his way in until Hollywood whispers in Will's ear "We won't hire the kid...even if you pay us...sorry."

 

[Farther than stars]

Stah Trek Into Dahkness

I love Bob's accent. It's like the Hulk. It only comes out in moments of intense emotion.

You should go to Brooklyn. You'll have an aebsolute bawl! Or you'll be shot... Actually, don't go to Brooklyn.

 

[CronoT]

P.S. Was anyone else completely unaware that Shyamalan was involved with this movie, despite seeing a dozen commercials?

I wasn't aware of it either

Its really too bad, this movie seemed like it had potential in its previews.

Stah Trek Into Dahkness

I love Bob's accent. It's like the Hulk. It only comes out in moments of intense emotion.

Man I hate it when his accent comes out, especially when he isn't doing this live, and is just too lazy to go back and record it properly.. What is the point in having an editor if they don't catch inconsistencies and mistakes?

For those of us who have been following Bob for a long time, we know that when the Boston accent comes out, it's like his personal Tyler Durden coming to the fore, and he can't help hating it or snarking on it.

That being said, any M. Night movie these days is more about guessing the sloppy twist ending or how he's going to try and get out of the hole that is his one-note persona. Personally, I was expecting the twist ending to be that the whole thing had been a final exam or training scenario for the Jaden character, a la Professor X's Danger Room or Star Trek's Kobayashi Maru.

 

[008Zulu_v1legacy]

So.....I was....wrong...there's no twist? There's no "this was Earth in the past" ending?

That...that is depressing.

But it not having a twist, IS THE TWIST!

No, it's a Shamelyon movie. it must have not only a twist, but an obvious one at that. C'mon MovieBob. spoilers! What was the big twist?

 

[floppylobster]

The reason it feels like the sci-fi element doesn't matter is that it was originally written as as a father-son camping trip movie.

At least this might help to take down the Smiths' egos. But who am I kidding?

 

[Pyrian]

Has anyone other than Bob, actually seen this movie?

Plenty of critics have weighted in, at this point. Bob's assessment is widely shared.

 

[80sboy]

Ouch! That bad? Now I want to see it just to see how much of a train-wreck it is. Also, I will say this. Will's monologue from the trailer did paint a imagine of a possibly better movie. Maybe M. Night should just stick to dialogue and have someone else come up with concept work and premise, because that still seems to be his strongest suits.

Also, that has to be the most lazy, dilapidated design of a cgi alien... I've ever seen. I can whip up something better in Zbrush under an hour.

It look like a wet, torn, gray t-shirt, someone threw on the ground.

 

[Jacco]

Wait, that's how you pronounce Kitai? I thought his name was basically "kitty rage" and found it hilarious. Now the movie doesn't even have unintentional hilarity going for it.

Aside from that, the movies trailer was too dumb for me to go see it. "Everything on this planet evolved to kill humans" No, Will Smith, they fucking didn't. Humanity left. Why on earth would creatures evolve to kill something which doesn't even live on the fucking planet anymore? That makes zero sense.

DINGDINGDINGDING. Thank you.

In addition to that, I would also like to know how they evolved into super animals (the eagle) in just 1000 years.

 

[Jacco]

I use to like M.Night's stuff back when he had like 50k budgets and had to use his hometown as a backdrop for his films. He's gone Hollywood and it shows, badly. He needs to retire or just be a write/produce only because his directorial "vision" is horribly impaired.

NO. Keep him the HELL away from writing anything. He wrote LAB and Lady in the Water and had a hand in writing The Village, Signs, and The Stupidning (Happening).

 

[Jadak]

P.S. Was anyone else completely unaware that Shyamalan was involved with this movie, despite seeing a dozen commercials?

No you were not, and now I'm annoyed with myself for not noticing as even without knowing that nor having seen reviews, this move was a 'meh, maybe' movie for me and seeing his name makes it a solid no. Yet, being a sci-fi movie and me having nothing to do, plans have already been made to see it tomorrow and it would be rude to cancel, so now I'm kind of suck.

 

[Daria.Morgendorffer]

Wait, that's how you pronounce Kitai? I thought his name was basically "kitty rage" and found it hilarious. Now the movie doesn't even have unintentional hilarity going for it.

Aside from that, the movies trailer was too dumb for me to go see it. "Everything on this planet evolved to kill humans" No, Will Smith, they fucking didn't. Humanity left. Why on earth would creatures evolve to kill something which doesn't even live on the fucking planet anymore? That makes zero sense.

DINGDINGDINGDING. Thank you.

In addition to that, I would also like to know how they evolved into super animals (the eagle) in just 1000 years.

I found it laughable (and someone correct me if I'm wrong) that Will Smith's character is supposed to be a "legendary general". Never mind being rather young for being a general, but also "legendary"? What the hell?

Of course, I've always thought Will Smith to be a smug little shit anyway, so I've never much liked him. If the story comes from him, it wouldn't surprise me. It reeks of ego, from the idea that he's a general (*snerk*), to the idea that the Earth evolved JUST to kill humans (*groan*) to having his insufferable kid hog the screen and be held up as a hero (*sigh*).

 

[Shjade]

To be fair to the Smiths, "flat affect" is the hallmark of every Shyamalan movie ever. They were probably directed in that direction.

I figure it would make sense for the father to be completely flat as part of his whole "man who feels no fear" thing, presumably as a side effect (if you feel no fear, maybe you don't feel much of anything else either), and as a result the son who so desperately wants to be his father would try to imitate that...

...but even if it makes sense, that doesn't make it entertaining to watch.

 

[Gatx]

Supposedly it was originally about a normal father and son who go on a camping trip or something and get into a car accident, so Jaden has to make his way through the wilderness to get help. Then for almost no reason at all, Smith decided to put a Sci-Fi spin on it. I guess the concept alone is too small and personal and he prefers big budget, big message movies?

 

[synobal]

I kinda feel sorry for Jayden, I liked him in the Karate Kid remake. This Movie though must of been incredibly hard to act for since 90% must of been shot in front of green screens with stand in props that he is suppose to act afraid/emotional with.

 

[geizr]

That's disappointing. I understand that Will Smith is trying to break his son into the movie business, but it's hard enough acting without having the additional baggage of playing the son of your father. Give him a different actor to be Dad, one he can view as a character, and I think it would be better.

P.S. Was anyone else completely unaware that Shyamalan was involved with this movie, despite seeing a dozen commercials?

Yeah, I'm one of those who didn't know Shyamalan was the director until very recently, and my heart sank completely when I did. I was actually looking forward to this movie, because the trailers made it look very interesting. However, after listening to Bob, it sounds like it's just a very poorly done "boy growing up" story (and I actually sometimes like a good "boy growing up" story; although, now that I'm on the thought, I have to wonder how come you don't get any or many "girl growing up" stories).

 

[Gordon_4_v1legacy]

My problem with this film is the same problem that I had with The Karate Kid, it exists solely as something for Jaden Smith to star in.

My problem with that film was utter lack of Karate.

 

[Infernai]

Thought this was gonna suck.

It was hard not to recognize the Signs.

Well, it certainly has been The Happening trend for M. Knight as of late.

 

[theultimateend]

It's so strange that myself and everyone I know loved the new star trek, yet bob hates it.

Usually he's somewhat close to what folks I know feel.

To each their own I guess.

 

[Imp_Emissary]

Wait, that's how you pronounce Kitai? I thought his name was basically "kitty rage" and found it hilarious. Now the movie doesn't even have unintentional hilarity going for it.

Aside from that, the movies trailer was too dumb for me to go see it. "Everything on this planet evolved to kill humans" No, Will Smith, they fucking didn't. Humanity left. Why on earth would creatures evolve to kill something which doesn't even live on the fucking planet anymore? That makes zero sense.

Thank you. That bit made me a bit mad too.
Evolution doesn't happen on purpose. It's not like mother nature is going around asking herself; "What can I do today? I know! I'll make something that looks like a beaver and a duck had an abomination!"

Also, you can still call him Kitty/Kiddy Rage. That's actually a good mocking nickname.
=w= d (<- Thumbs up face)