Escape to the Movies: Branded

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esperandote

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Feb 25, 2009
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You made it sound midly interesting. If i was to watch a movie and i had to choose between a few midly interesting movies i might choose this one.
 

samahain

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Sep 23, 2010
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This review comes out of the blue... I had expectations for this movie.

Guess I'll see it, it sounds too peculiar to judge without knowing.
 

Sabrestar

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Apr 13, 2010
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Don't worry, Bob, you didn't make it sound interesting. You made it not make any damn sense. Which apparently isn't very hard. Sounds like a total trainwreck.
 

CWestfall

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Apr 16, 2009
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Don't get me wrong, from this review the movie sounds awful, but I do find it interesting when you consider it is a Russian movie about the evils of consumerism being poorly received in the Western world.

It somehow feels like we've come full circle.
 

Smertnik

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Apr 5, 2010
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LoathsomePete said:
Never even heard of this movie until now, but the videos Bob played throughout reminded me of another Russian movie, Nightwatch which sounded like a neat premise, but the execution was just a cavalcade of "how much acid do I need to take for this to start being good?" I definitely dislike it when people mishandle easy concepts like this, but considering how my town sucks so much we don't even get The Master, I doubt we'll be getting this any time soon.
Yeah, Nightwatch sucked pretty bad. The book series it's based on is awesome, though, although I don't know how well it's translated (or if at all).

I wonder if Russian movie making will ever be as good as in the USSR again. So many masterpieces were made back then but nowadays it's all about crappy CGI or mafia.
 

SquidVicious

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Apr 20, 2011
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Smertnik said:
LoathsomePete said:
Never even heard of this movie until now, but the videos Bob played throughout reminded me of another Russian movie, Nightwatch which sounded like a neat premise, but the execution was just a cavalcade of "how much acid do I need to take for this to start being good?" I definitely dislike it when people mishandle easy concepts like this, but considering how my town sucks so much we don't even get The Master, I doubt we'll be getting this any time soon.
Yeah, Nightwatch sucked pretty bad. The book series it's based on is awesome, though, although I don't know how well it's translated (or if at all).

I wonder if Russian movie making will ever be as good as in the USSR again. So many masterpieces were made back then but nowadays it's all about crappy CGI or mafia.
Definitely, I mean I'm sure there's modern day pieces that stand up to classics like Stalker and Solaris... those are really the only two classic Russian movies I can think of off the top of my head, and they're both directed by the same guy so please excuse me as I take myself and my wilting film buff penis aside.
 

RTR

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Mar 22, 2008
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I think it was at this year's Magfest where Linkara got a bunch of TGWTG producers to riff on Southland Tales. Wouldn't it be cool if they followed up on that by reviewing this movie?
 

Ashoten

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Aug 29, 2010
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Making fat people feel bad about being fat........WTF?

Fat storage is an important mechanism for survival and served our ancestors well throughout much of life's history. The simple fact that our post industrial world has made it possible for 2% of the population to make 100% of the food has had the unfortunate side effect of allowing people with a highly evolved fat storage system to become too fat is not their fault. It is not the companies fault for providing a service that people want. Does this mean everyone is absolved of guilt? NO! but it also means that the obese need compassion not shame.

I could also bring up how the government forced health regulations on fast food chains that required them to use hydrogenated fat for cooking, as well as there obsession with teaching everyone that tons of carbs are good for you. Carbohydrates metabolizes into sugar so unless your training for the Olympics or have a rigorous work out schedule there is no reason to load up on them all the time.
 

DugMachine

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Apr 5, 2010
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Ashoten said:
Making fat people feel bad about being fat........WTF?

Fat storage is an important mechanism for survival and served our ancestors well throughout much of life's history. The simple fact that our post industrial world has made it possible for 2% of the population to make 100% of the food has had the unfortunate side effect of allowing people with a highly evolved fat storage system to become too fat is not their fault. It is not the companies fault for providing a service that people want. Does this mean everyone is absolved of guilt? NO! but it also means that the obese need compassion not shame.

I could also bring up how the government forced health regulations on fast food chains that required them to use hydrogenated fat for cooking, as well as there obsession with teaching everyone that tons of carbs are good for you. Carbohydrates metabolizes into sugar so unless your training for the Olympics or have a rigorous work out schedule there is no reason to load up on them all the time.
How is shoveling food in your face not your own fault? I used to be pretty huge (almost 300 pounds) and had nobody to blame but myself. I ate as a coping mechanism for stress and depression but it just made me feel even shittier so guess what I did? ATE MORE. That's all my fault and I'm glad I realized it before it was too late.
 

jamesworkshop

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Sep 3, 2008
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Sounds like the plot for fat slags

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0382028/


I'm a bit puzzled by the FAM, fatness in a no longer quite thin enough to be fashionable is different from help I can't walk or leave my house anymore.
 

seiler88

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Feb 22, 2011
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Would it kill film makers to attend a few economics classes because I am sick of these kinds of plots. You do not make money like this!
 

Rakor

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Mar 9, 2010
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You know Bob's angry when the accent starts to slip.

Somehow this movie sounds like a pretty interesting premise. Hard to really pick a particularly unfavorable market driven demographic without angering someone, though. Fat people, smokers, maybe some future legal drug. And the whole......parasitic influencing aliens that may or may not exist thing sounds pretty cool in theory. Alas when crap is churned out from an interesting concept.
 

Ashoten

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Aug 29, 2010
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DugMachine said:
Ashoten said:
Making fat people feel bad about being fat........WTF?

Fat storage is an important mechanism for survival and served our ancestors well throughout much of life's history. The simple fact that our post industrial world has made it possible for 2% of the population to make 100% of the food has had the unfortunate side effect of allowing people with a highly evolved fat storage system to become too fat is not their fault. It is not the companies fault for providing a service that people want. Does this mean everyone is absolved of guilt? NO! but it also means that the obese need compassion not shame.

I could also bring up how the government forced health regulations on fast food chains that required them to use hydrogenated fat for cooking, as well as there obsession with teaching everyone that tons of carbs are good for you. Carbohydrates metabolizes into sugar so unless your training for the Olympics or have a rigorous work out schedule there is no reason to load up on them all the time.
How is shoveling food in your face not your own fault? I used to be pretty huge (almost 300 pounds) and had nobody to blame but myself. I ate as a coping mechanism for stress and depression but it just made me feel even shittier so guess what I did? ATE MORE. That's all my fault and I'm glad I realized it before it was too late.
Well I am glad it worked out for you. I have had similar experience but it sure didn't help being made fun of at school. So of course I ate to feel better and cope with stress because I was fat. No one is persuaded to change by badgering or bullying and it sounds like this movie does exactly that. Of course the person still makes the decision to shove food in their face. My point is that industrial age farming has allowed for a normal and healthy mechanism of survival to work against you. Starvation use to be a number one cause of death in the old world.
 

DugMachine

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Apr 5, 2010
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Ashoten said:
Well I am glad it worked out for you. I have had similar experience but it sure didn't help being made fun of at school. So of course I ate to feel better and cope with stress because I was fat. No one is persuaded to change by badgering or bullying and it sounds like this movie does exactly that. Of course the person still makes the decision to shove food in their face. My point is that industrial age farming has allowed for a normal and healthy mechanism of survival to work against you. Starvation use to be a number one cause of death in the old world.
I understand that the bullying should stop. No matter what the issue is bullying is just wrong whether you're gay, a different race or overweight. This movie could be doing exactly what Bob said or it could just be him being biased because it seems like it's making fun of fat people (i'm going with the former).

And while being fat may be a survival mechanism it's not something modern humans (at least in first world countries) need to survive anymore.
 

chiggerwood

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May 10, 2009
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I want to see this so bad that it hurts, and it's not playing anywhere near me? Damn it! This makes me so sad. T_T

Captcha: be careful. Aw it cares.
 

shiajun

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Jun 12, 2008
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Ashoten said:
Making fat people feel bad about being fat........WTF?

Fat storage is an important mechanism for survival and served our ancestors well throughout much of life's history. The simple fact that our post industrial world has made it possible for 2% of the population to make 100% of the food has had the unfortunate side effect of allowing people with a highly evolved fat storage system to become too fat is not their fault. It is not the companies fault for providing a service that people want. Does this mean everyone is absolved of guilt? NO! but it also means that the obese need compassion not shame.

I could also bring up how the government forced health regulations on fast food chains that required them to use hydrogenated fat for cooking, as well as there obsession with teaching everyone that tons of carbs are good for you. Carbohydrates metabolizes into sugar so unless your training for the Olympics or have a rigorous work out schedule there is no reason to load up on them all the time.
Yes, being fat is your fault. It's not only your fault, but living in a post-indsutrial society does not absolve you from the fact that you're using your body the wrong way. Not only is it evident that your physical activity is pitiful, it's also showing that you have little criteria in what you ingest. You don't need to eat out everytime. Cook at home and take lunch to work it there's no healthy place near you. Oh, it takes time and effort? Well, it's better that time and effort than the persitent damage your organs and bones are suffering from being forced through overweight. Also, if you're going to throw out the biological argument for fat storage, you can't just forget your body was also made to move. I'm not saying anyone should try to look like models, with zero fat deposits (and all their metabolic disorders that carries), but it is everyone's duty -yes, I use that word, duty- to keep their own body within healthy boundries of weight. If you are now overweight, my question always is: why didn't you stop before you got to this point? If you're here, being complacent with your obesity and asking everyone to not offend your sensibilities won't bring you back to a healthy body. If I sound callous, so be it. More often than not, it's poor habits and terrible discipline and education that make people obese, not some genetic disorder that couldn't be avoided.
 

LostintheWick

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Sep 29, 2009
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Soooo... I agree with the sentiment that this film is putting out there... but it could have been handled better (less bullying and "meanness"). I was excited for this film... now I'm not.

And this reminds me... Walle (remember that Pixar film?) makes a comment on how if people are allowed, they develop into oblivious, obese, lazy sacks of uselessness.

Just saying... Where's the criticism towards Pixar?
 

Aureliano

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Mar 5, 2009
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Sigh. On the one hand I wanted to see a review of Resident Evil: Whatever, but on the other hand I'm glad to see that I'm not the only person who had to suffer through this garbage.

How hard is it for a filmmaker to just make a stupid movie about tentacley embodied advertisements sucking the life out of consumers with some anonymous douche shooting them with a sawed off shotgun and spitting out ridiculous one-liners? THAT was the movie I wanted Branded to be, and instead it absolutely refused to be any fun at all.