Yes Bob, people only make good movies to attack you on a personal level! God knows how they would make any money without the approval of jaded, pessimistic internet reviews!
I love you though Bob, and i love to listen to you complain, it's incredibly entertaining for reasons i can't fathom. You should do a MST3K where instead of making fun of the film, you complain, *****, moan, overanalyse and deconstruct for two hours, i would pay to see that.
We should get together some time and just have a huge argument over some coffee.